Loss of a Pioneer

Wishing my readers a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year!!!

The loss of a pioneer for not only women, but for science and medicine. Godspeed to the "Cell Lady."

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/30/16250863-italys-nobel-winning-lady-of-the-cells-dies-at-103?lite


Let's move forward with openness, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves.

Peace, Light, and Love
et

Here is too a GREAT 2013!!!

In the Spirit of the Season Upon Us

Hello World!!

Well, I have concluded that it is time for me to move forward. It is in reference to my personal journey and where I go next. Stay tuned .... I am hoping for some pretty amazing shit!!! LOL .... yes, I am a dreamer ... it is what keeps me going.

I would like to share the link below to a FANTASTIC blog by a "DiabetesDad." This man has a writing style from the heart, and no BS, from the parental stand point. He has brought me to tears numerous times over the past few months. I have about that much focus and his descriptions are just .... wonderful. Give him a look .... I don't think you will be disappointed, and you will find much guidance and concern.

This particular entry is quite inspirational, and given the season in which we are in, I find it to be a fitting gift.

http://diabetesdad.org/2012/12/11/yes-virginia-there-will-be-a-cure-a-take-on-a-classic-tale-for-a-diabetes-cure/


To my readers, friends, family and lurkers alike .... hehehe ....
I wish you a wonderful evening .... whatever your beliefs .... be kind to YOU, be kind to each other!!!

In Love, Peace and Light
et

WSCS in Miami Florida this week

Hi All!!

I have a couple of links I want to post ... been trying for a couple of days. The first is this great question posed by the "diabetesdad" blog ... (I need to get this attached too??) He is looking for guidance .... I need to respond as well, however, he has had some heartwarming, frightening, and honest repsonses. Check it out

http://diabetesdad.org/2012/12/05/will-the-fear-ever-leave-us-seeking-help-from-experience-adults-wt1-and-others/

Really is full of realistic outlooks!!

Also, this past week was the World Stem Cell Summit, and was held in Miami, close to and in collaboration .... (I love that word :) with DRI and CIRM, along with some pretty amazing world leaders and patient advocates in the stem cell/regenerative medicine field. Take a look at whats been happening and some of the exciting trials that will hopefully begin SOONER, rather than later. The video is a T1 young woman .... and what she hopes to accomplish as well. COLLABORATION ..... it's a good practice. Enjoy the reads ....

http://cirmresearch.blogspot.com/2012/03/2011-annual-report-toward-stem-cell.html

As soon as I find some solid focus, I will try and update to my own stats ... some amazing stuff going on in/with my body too!! hehehe .... insulin intake was lowered a half unit again this past week ... and that was 2 weeks after a depomedrol injection (steroid based).

With Love, Peace and Light
et

2012 World Stem Cell Summit

Hello All!!

I hope this post finds everyone well ... happy, healthy, and searching for knowledge.

Check out the 2012 World Stem Cell Summit going on today through Wed. 12-3 to 12-5 in Florida.
There is a spot where you can view the summit live on streaming video.

http://worldstemcellsummit.com

On Monday - Dr. Ricordi from DRI in Florida will speak on where we are on the future of CURE.

I am SO very much hoping and praying to get some sort of information on being the "Guinea Pig of Hope" for this stem cell movement. I have nothing left to lose and everything in the universe to gain by using this medicine/science and the knowledge already out there, the pursuit of better treatments with regenerative medical approaches. Come on people ... let's open our eyes to a healthier, happier existence ... and perhaps, a little more beautiful all around!!!!!

Enjoy your day, enjoy your week.
Be good to yourself, and practice random acts of kindness .... it makes us all feel better.

In Love, Peace and Light
et

I'm just sharing information - knowledge is power :)

StemGenex News

This is just very exciting stuff happening .... moving forward for a change.
Below a very promising outlook and to my friends at StemGenex a well deserved kudos!!!

http://www.stemcellstherapy.me/stemgenex%E2%84%A2-on-the-forefront-of-adult-stem-cell-based-therapy-for-alzheimers/

Wishing you all a wonderfully relaxing evening.

In Love, Peace and Light
et

This too ....

Happy Monday to all!!

Just got this link in my email ....
This too, VERY promising on the big picture level. :)

http://pharmabiz.com/NewsDetails.aspx?aid=72188&sid=1


as for the other stuff .... this too shall pass ..... hoping, praying, meditating to try and keep some sort of balance and grounding .... oh, and baking cookies!!!! I will have cookies coming out of .... well ... hehehe .... 'tis the season and I know just a handful of folks who will be happy to get thier hands on them.

Have a wonderful week!!
Go slow, take things as they come .... enjoy the ride.

In Love, Peace and Light
et

Looking Up

Good Evening All,

Been a couple of heart-wrenching emotional days. While trying to work myself out of some fresh grief and major head fog, I was reading through the news and found this very promising article on some big stepping stones.

http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/11/18/15246299-new-approach-could-treat-ms-other-autoimmune-diseases?lite

I wish all a peaceful and comforting evening.
Have a safe and healthy week and PLEASE ... be kind to each other.

In Peace, Love and Light
et

So much to say ....

Hello .....


... and so little brain power to get it stated.

With that being said, I apologize for not making more posts in recent months.  I just really have been struggling to grasp the entire concept of what has happened to me, and what I have had to do to move forward in a manner in which I can be comfortable .... and safe. Yes, safe!!! I have done some pretty bone-head things in recent months ... I could tell, but REALLY stupid!!! I make, even myself, dizzy at times.

I continue to have memory, focus issues .... can't complete a thought, or worse, loose it mid-whatever. It is frustrating ... not only for me, but for those few who have dealt with me on a closer level (this is few) in recent months. I cannot thank these souls enough for hanging with me. Somehow knowing when I stop breathing, or full blown panic sets in for what would have most likely never phased me prior. I have had to open many little windows to get the chi flowing again ..... mind, body, spirit. I hope someone understands...??

My body still hurts ... mostly my right hand, wrist, arm .... nerves in my neck somehow connected to nerves/tendons in my wrist ...etc .... the surgery in which my neurologist has been asking about for 6 months may have to happen soon. I just don't know how, (lost my health insurance in August) .... the longer I let it go, the more likely permanent damage may result.  This is frustrating due to the fact I am right-handed!!! So this has made for some really amusing tweaks in how I do things .... ya know, like in the kitchen or bathroom ... LOL!!! I am working on the restoration of my humor .... but at times, that too, has been a real reach.

SO much going on that I am trying to cope with and not always anyone to help me .... or ask... ??? .... I still have that stupid sense of pride ... hehehe ... but I am making progress, I have had to adjust how excited I get about which accomplishments, having had to lower, in my opinion, how hard something should be. (I hope that made sense?)

I am going to sign off .... but know that in my recovery, I try to share some of the exciting things I see happening in the stem cell arena. THIS IS VERY EXCITING SHIT!!!!!!! and I am so genuinely thankful that it is, and some of the people I have met, continue to spark a light in my eyes, and in my heart for the things they are trying to accomplish.

Peace, Light, and well-being to all!!!
et

CONGRATS!!!!

Happy Friday ....

Some exciting news to share (I think so) on the recent Nobel Prize winners.

http://www.highlighthealth.com/health-news/pluripotent-stem-cells-and-the-nobel-prize-for-medicine/

How exciting ... and a step forward on the world stage.

I wish you all a wonderfully relaxing  and peaceful weekend!
Be well ... be good to each other.
Peace and Light
et

Stem Cell Awareness

Some exciting stuff on this Stem Cell Awareness Day!!!

http://www.stemcellday.com/SCAD_Events.html

Copied this from my FaceBook wall. I wish I could have pulled the graphics too, not on top of my electronic knowledge these days.

Enjoy the info!!!
Peace and Light
et

Is 10k hits making a difference...???

Happy Hump Day!!

Uhhhggggg ..... is my current sentiment on the subject.
Just wanted to post a little blurb.
I hit 10,000 hits to my page here ... it only took 3 years!!! LOL
I don't know what anyone else thinks, but to me, this has been quite a ride.

I never in my wildest dreams envisioned that my words would draw the attention of a world-wide audience!! I hope that some of my postings have been informational on a few levels, some just bitching about the world, family, etc. Most of all, the education, awareness, and happenings on Type 1 diabetes and the use of stem cells and the future they hold for folks like me, and SO MANY others.

Many Thanks, and my deepest appreciation for coming back!!!

Enjoy the day!!
Be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et

Sunday ... the end of another month.

Glorious Sunday to Everyone!!!

Just an interesting post I found in my email this morning.

http://www.delmarvanow.com/article/20120930/NEWS01/309300017/Expand-use-adult-stem-cells

Not much happening with this girl today. I over-did the physical activity yesterday outside, with the help of my 4-year-old neighbor child .... I was completely exhausted!!!! He is cute, but they are non-stop and with my "attention" issues, he had me going in circles!!! Today, HT, Maggie, and I are just chillin' out, all having some allergy issues. Will go out and do a little later when it cools off ... or at least that is the plan. Trying to accumulate stuff for a yard sale next weekend.  An attempt to clear my chi, for all involved.

Enjoy your day, and/or evening and make it a good start to a new week.

Peace, Light, and Love
et

Day by Day

Hi Everyone!!

I really don't have a lot to report. I will try to give you an idea of what has been going on. STRESS ... LOL ... I have doing my very best to try and tend to the situations that have presented, many directly related to the aftermath of the motor vehicle accident in December.  What was told to be a "mild concussion" is now taking on the face of "most improvement happens in the 1st year" or "you may have to deal with the rewiring of that part of your brain." .... I try to focus ... but my attention span can be brief, leading to things getting overlooked, or worst, just lost, completely forgotten. EVERYTHING I do these days takes me so freakin' long that it can be very frustrating.

Other than that ... my blood sugars are a little wacky lately. I am having some tissue issues, in that, after 40 years you sort of run out of rotation spots. I have had to change my pump out a little more than normal due to the lack of delivery, which raises my blood sugars, which has lead to some skin irritations as I search my body for a small area that has not been saturated and scarred from repeated poking. Oh well ... maybe that cure is closer than I think .... I still wish, hope, and pray, especially in these past couple of months trying to relearn and tweek methods of how I do things ... like pulling weeds in the yard ... so many day-to-day tasks .... I have already done this chapter years ago, but this is a completely different type of fight for health and life.

Preparing to drive to Phoenix tomorrow. Will stay a night or two with friends ... I don't like the drive to the city anymore in large part due to the anxiety and panic of having to get there....once there, I don't want to have to rush back up the mountain, 2 hours each way. Again, there is way too much going on to type here, so ....

I hope all is well with everyone!! There has been a lot of progress and movement in the science and medicine of adult stem cells and their abilities!!! I have a 3rd treatment in my thoughts .... maybe sooner than later. I just feel that if I get a good portion of whats going on, out of the way and tended too, that I can make the ultimate most of the 3rd treatment, less stress, mastering the art of meditation and relaxation, etc


Wishing All a wonderful, relaxing weekend.
Peace and Light ... and don't forget the laughter!!!
et

This is VERY exciting!!!

This was in my email box this morning ....
This is VERY exciting stuff!!!!
This is NOT just a move forward to diabetes, but for SO much more!!!!


http://www.stockhouse.com/News/USReleasesDetail.aspx?n=8612403

Enjoy the day!!!
Peace and Light
et

News Makers

Good Morning, and happy Monday!!

Life is not all it is cracked up to be in my world these days.
I can honestly and happily report that the ONLY thing going in a positive upswing is my diabetes progress.  In all the happenings since my accident, an episode I don't think I would wish on my worst enemy, I continue to struggle with stamina, remembering, focus, learning new things ... I am reading better with my new lenses, but that is like a bad amusement park ride at times ... hahaha ... like walking!!! If my eyes hit the imaginary lines now placed, and the prisms, etc, I often fall off curbs that are not even there. Yep .... I take graceful to a whole new level .... hehehe ....

Anyway ... I am trying to cope with the loss of my health insurance, the loss of my job/career, our home being placed in foreclosure status, a low-ball offer on my injury from the other insurance company ... which just pisses me beyond anything I can put in print here .... hahaha ... not any of this funny, but ... we all know this is how I cope with distressing situations. I just can't believe every day some other totally beyond anything that should be right gestures of the world. 

What happened to face-to-face encounters??
Why must the entire world (or so it seems) be so cruel, so greedy, so out to make a buck off someone else's bad luck, misfortune, etc.
People with no real education calling the shots on someone who was intelligent, hard working, determined, .... ???

I am no angel ... however, I don't understand the motivation other than the almighty $!!
It all seems to me that money rules ... and as a result, not as much love, concern, empathy or cures to the problems or issues.

Ok ... well, let me get off the pity pot as I know all to well, that I am NOT the only person on the planet to be struggling. I have no plans, little options, and no guidance except .... "You really need to find a way to cut your medical expenses."
CAN YOU IMAGINE?!? this was the comment given to me by a credit counselor reviewing the mortgage. Next month I celebrate ... hahaha ... 40 years living wiht Type 1 diabetes .... and just when I thought I was in a place where I may be able to play a major role in such a big arena to bring stem cells to the people, I get my life taken away from me in a moment, with no notice, and no concept of what my future may hold, to be told I need to lower my medical expenses .... ok, lets start with the most expensive of my medications ... Insulin .... that costs me approximately $300/month ... without that, I am dead ..... yes, it is that simple ... and yet will be a painful death for anyone who would have to endure this outcome. I am currently on my last of the Cymbalta, in which withdrawal symptoms are literally taking its toll on my body, which in turn, strains my brain and adds undue stress, panic ..... anxiety .... I am trying to gain more info on meditation, calming myself ... Maggie actually does this really well with me. :D

Ok ... enough complaining on my part.  I have a couple of stressful encounters to tend to today ... but would like to share this mornings news on the stem cell front.

For the boys .... and I know that this issue of erectile dysfunction can affect many men who have type 1, nerve damage does some huge damage. Check out the latest application for adult stem cells ... and not male, but I can tell you that the results I have had in regard to feelings, i.e., neuropathy in my feet, the awakening of these feelings in which became so incredible clear within hours of my 1st treatment, I would love to have some feedback on men who may have had some improvement.

Check out the link below:
http://www.sacbee.com/2012/09/10/4804732/a-new-approach-to-erectile-dysfunction.html

and the last one for today ... the Stem Cell Summit!!!!
Will be held in Palm Beach in December ..... this would be a dream come true for me to attend this gathering. I would do my best to see, hear, ask questions, reap the rewards of sharing information to both the doctors/professionals and patients alike. I don't, however, see that happening for me .... but check it all out!!!!!

http://www.sacbee.com/2012/09/10/4804924/kyoto-university-icems-to-co-organize.html

And on that note ... I wish everyone a wonderful day, and, an awesome week!!!

Peace and Light ~ Be good to each other!!!
et

No words of wisdom .....

If nothing else .... I hope that those whose lives I have touched .... gives them this sort of Feel Good feeling ..... Unfortunately, currently, I seem to be running low on wisdom.  I am doing the very best with what I have to work with, and like so many in today's society, I am not the only person struggling .... we all struggle with some thing, at some time in our lives. I continue to pray for the safety and well-being of those who serve for my freedom to voice my opinions, and all those who have touched my life, past and present.

Peace and Light
et

Some Amazing Progress

Hi Kids!!

Not much new to report on my end. Overall, it is SSDD, and I am doing my best to cope and overcome the challenges which seem to present everyday at a deeper level. I don't want to give up, it isn't me. I feel like I am making a personal progress ... that sounds a little weird, but ... go with me here. :D

http://gizmodo.com/5940205/spinal-stem-cell-injections-help-reverse-paralysis

Enjoy the read, support the future and let's get rid of some of these afflictions!

Have a good day and be good to each other!!!

Peace and Light
et

I want ... and continue to wonder

No clue what day it is ... Thursday.
I wonder ...
how much outside stress and damands put on normal body/spirit is an individual to tolerate somewhat reserved .... ???

My day-to-day stress that most everyone is dealing with in today's economy, politics, terrorists, radical groups who call themselves Christians and then do and behave in the most outragous of ways toward innocent people.

What ever happened to a place of worship being a "sanctuary?"
What has happened to common courtesy, compasion for others, a love of self?
I see disrespect all around me ... I have become quiet, do I have any control to change? At one point I thought so ... now, I am not so sure.
I wonder if others could have done even the last 5 years of my life, never mind the last 10, 20, 30, or 40.

In the last 5+ years .... I lost a dear friend to brain cancer 05 (blessed to have been able to visit prior); I lost my dearest brother-in-law 6-06, suddenly a week after he took me to the airport; I flew back to the east coast after we lost his mom 20 days prior to that (an adopted, honorary grandma to my daughter since birth);  my ex-husband, 6-07 (drudged up a lot of old unresolved issues on his part I'm sure, and a hurt that my daughter had to come to terms with); I lost my uncle in 11-07, we were with him on passing, 6 months later 5-08 I lost one of my fondest and loving aunts (my mom's sister), her oldest daughter prevented me from being able to spend the last days with her after being by her side through so many uncertain tests and results. Honestly, another precisous gift to have been allowed to share that ... grief is very individual, but to be able to share in some way, the thoughts of a dying individual ... doesn't seem so harsh as losing one so suddenly, so young, with no warning and just dumbfounded with grief and question. I was absolutely devastated at the loss of my brother-in-law, it still hurts sometime, but I have such great, deep, fond, special memories and laughs. I find that very comforting despite wishing I had more time. In 10-08 I lost my mother, my best friend, my mentor, etc.   I knew it would be coming one day, but we seemed to drag out so many wonderful days, that to have been able to spend those last months, weeks, and days was beyond anything I could explain. We talked, slept, cared for her, slept with her, between Hillary and myself, we were there the entire last week of her life, around the clock, and my clearest, most precious moment of strength was when I leaned in to her, kissed her forhead, held her hands, and whispered .... "I think it's time to fly" and she released her last breath. I was numb .... but had just spent one of the most precious gifts I think a child could have. She brought me into this world, with such love, and even though we had most child/parent conflicts over the years, we always worked it out via talk, reading, music, togetherness ... I still and will forever hold these acts deep and dear to my heart. I continued to care for my father's needs for the following three years. He will be gone one year on the 18th of August. Now, in all that loss, in what to me is a fairly constant time frame, life went on in other areas. I had my own health, underwent a couple of my own surgeries, i.e., my sinuses, lymph node removal, 2 stem cell treatments, and then the dreaded day of December 13th 2011, 3 days after my daughter, who also endured all the above loss right along side me .... graduated with her degree in nursing and became an RN.

I can't remember what transpired in any one length of time, but yes, some of my memories in which have come back a bit on some levels, is fairly clear, perhaps in part to others having been with me and witnessing such behavior.

 Now, I am quiet, I am tired, I have done all that has been asked of me in regard to recovering from my head injury .... having lost my insurance the beginning of this month, no SS deciscion for another 3 months, not being able to stay on top, or even closely below the water line ... haha .... they want to take my house away from me. Let me just say this.... I realize I only have control over me ... and what I can put forth to better my day-to-day life activities, many of which have had to be reworked, finding new ways to accomadate in the absense of any help on that level.

Someone, took away my daily lifes tasks, my career, my livelihood, my personality to a point, and changed my life forever .... WITHOUT my permission .... am I, or should I have to suffer with no consequences to the other party. I often have thought how much easier this injury would be to deal with if I had more outward signs of injury ... I can't even imaging some of what our military guys are experiencing ... it should be a pretty clear indicater that there is a major issue when we see some of the news stories regarding murders of children, wives, mothers, suicides at an extremely elevated rate these days.  And ... I guess this should be my last bitch ... hahaha ... how about putting away some of the electronic devices and start looking each other in the eye when we talk/discuss such life altering matters. I am disappointed in the people of the world who only look at one class of people ... and often times ... not even remotely close to a status quo of the monetarily content upper layer. (you can tack any descriptive organization here you wish :).

Let us say a prayer this evening .... for each other, for a collaboration of spirits, with respect and love for individual pain, and the suffering of SO many families, individuals, even our animals.

wishing my entire following ... including lurkers ... a peaceful and content evening.
In good health, peace and light
et

Accept my apoligies for any ramblings ... it has been challenging at best with no one to really talk to, bounce things off of, get opinions and suggestions from those I respect and love at a point blank range. I am at a point that if you don't lay it right out there, I may not comp it very well, or miss a cue all together. Even the 4-year-old across the street messes with me ... and even he goes right over my head at times. :D I can do nothing but laugh as so much is just out of my control at this point. Therefore, if I meet my demise .... I think I would have to put large blame on my loss to the Justice system and big guys getting rich off the struggles of the little guys.

Just my opinion.
enjoy your weekend.

This is exciting !!!

Hi Everyone ...

We won't talk about me today ... However, check out this story that appeared on NPR (National Public Radio) today.

How exciting is this??? I wish they had this sort of stuff when I was in high school ... haha .... I may not have been so bored! I still feel I am not to old to learn something new everyday, it's remembering it these days that is the challenge.

http://cirmresearch.blogspot.com/2012/08/high-school-students-find-summer.html

I hope you enjoy the read and continue to strive for the cures that are out there to be had by ALL.

In peace and light
et

A couple of positive results

Happy Monday!

Just a quick update on some recent labs.
I am happy to report  that my most recent A1c as of last week came back at 6.6, down from 7.2, three months ago. I was very disappointed with my last result, but I did undergo that prednisone treatment again back in March. So 6.6 is an awesome change.
Also down are my thyroid med, my insulin intake, and my insulin to carb ratio was tweaked again to 1:16. My basal rate is down to 0.6 uph. When I started this adventure I was at 1:10 with a basal of 0.7-0.8 uph. That is a pretty significant change in numbers all around. That pleases me, and I remain hopeful that as I move along with stem cells, that the research comes flyin' in sideways!!! LOL

I am still awaiting the biopsy results from the eye lid biopsy ... I am really hoping that the chuck removed from my lower eye lid grows back ... ahhaha .. and that the lashes grow back ... I look a little wierd. :/

I will report on the next wave of tests/screenings sometime next week after I undergo an ultrasound on Friday morning...... and I continue to breathe ... if somewhat more slowly in remaining as calm as possible.

Wishing everyone a fabulous week!!!
Peace and Light
et

Todays articles of interest

Happy Friday to ALL!!!

Below you will find the links to this mornings articles I found of interest. Both very promising stuff.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all the athletes in the London games a great experience. I love watching some of these folks and the absolute amazement of the human body. Nope, I am not an athlete, I do a great job at being a "supporter" ... LOL.

I am still waiting on lab results, and will be undergoing a screening ultrasound to check for what could possibly be an abdominal aortic anerysm ... I REALLY hope that this is NOT the case, and if it is, I am seeing a local hospital, and a God complex MD to be placed in a very disconcerning  situation. I am currently on a round of antibiotic for a sinus/head/neck infection, apparently having let it go a little to long. These days, I find it difficult at times to determine what may be one thing, or another. I was unsure of where and what the pain may have been and thought I may be able to "tough it out." So, now, I am not to be in the sun for 10 days .... does anyone have any clue how fast tumbleweeds can multiple and grow in ten days ... LOL ... my yard already looks like the jungle!!! I will attempt to mow at dusk ... otherwise, I am in for a weekend of being hunkered down here in the house, trying to accomplish some of my therapy projects.

So ... here you go!!! Some interesting reading that will affect many, many patients, and not only diabetics. I still get so incredibly irritated with the FDA. Where do they get off telling me, or anyone, that what comes from our bodies is a drug!!!???? They are holding back precious research and treatments trying to figure out how to make the almighty buck ($$$$$$$$).

http://blogs.nature.com/news/2012/07/court-ruling-fda-can-regulate-stem-cell-clinics.html

http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report_stem-cell-cocktail-can-take-transplant-patients-off-drugs-in-2-yrs_1720483


Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend of contentment and happiness.

Peace and Light
et

Encouraging news on the research front

Check out this article in todays press releases on spine surgeons here in California.

http://beckersorthopedicandspine.com/spine/item/12703-20-spine-surgeons-researching-stem-cell-treatments

Some pretty exciting stuff. I continue to pray for the intelligence of those passinate about finding cures, and more humane treatments and less pharmaceuticals. I am all too aware of the need for pharmaceuticals ... without them, folks like myself, would not survive very long. Insulin, for example, keeps me alive. However, I have seen and experienced such changes that I remain a verbal advocate for the science, as it can only get better with new ideas, practices, and the data needed to move this forward.

I will try and post a more "personal" update on things going on with me currently. Since my accident, my life has been altered permanently. So much for that "Only a concussion, and it's just going to take time." Eight months or so after the fact, and now it is permanent, with all the work on me to learn new ways to remember and focus on the things I once found so interesting, I have to place myself in another realm.

There is still so much going on, doctors to report to the attorney, legal issues related to the accident, and medical coverage, which I am about to lose and waiting on decisions from SS. I had appointments with neurologist, endocrinologist, lab, PCP, and now scheduled to undergo ultra sound to determine if there is an abdominal aortic anerysm present .... some odd symptoms came about after the accident .... still, so much uncertainty, and I can do no more than do my best to cope with it all and remain alive in the process. I feel like I am making progress .... but then it is pointed out that yes, but not the sort of progress I had hoped to happen months ago ...

Think I am beginning to wander. So I am going to do a few household chores, chill out with Maggie, as she is not a big fan of monsoon season here in Arizona.

I wish all a wonderful day.
Be good to yourself, be good to each other.

Peace and Light
et

Mental Health ... article from NBCnews

Something to think about given today's society and world chaos.
 
 
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/48179749/ns/health-mental_health/?__utma=14933801.971393766.1342411340.1342411340.1342411340.1&__utmb=14933801.1.10.1342411340&__utmc=14933801&__utmx=-&__utmz=14933801.1342411340.1.1.utmcsr=(direct)|utmccn=(direct)|utmcmd=(none)&__utmv=14933801.|8=Earned%20By=msnbc%7Ccover=1^12=Landing%20Content=Mixed=1^13=Landing%20Hostname=www.nbcnews.com=1^30=Visit%20Type%20to%20Content=Earned%20to%20Mixed=1&__utmk=10588596
 
Be honest in your outlook ...
Peace and Light
et

As I begin the 49th year ....

Hi to All my WWW fans!!

Again, I will apoligize for my far and few between posts.

As I begin my 49th year of life .. lol ... yes, I was given another year last week as Lady Liberty celebrated, so did I. The comparisons between where I was a year ago and where I am now, on so many life levels ... is almost a daunting thought.

Last year .... I had a decent job, making decent money, I was content, for the most part, I dealt with the passing of my dad and the sibling chaos that followed. Became an only child ... LOL ... my health seemed to be on the upswing, in spite of a few speed bumps, and I was not as uptight about making sure my bills and such were all paid. Yes, I was no princess, not wealthy by most standards ... but I was content and happy about looking forward to what 2012 would bring me.

Today .... last week, I turned 49 ... this is the 4th birthday that came and went without my mother. Since her passing in 2008, I guess I have been running on auto pilot. Some would say I was running on AP for long before that date. In 2009, I started this blog, applied, tested, and was rejected from the NIH trial for islet transplant. Plowed on & over the disappointment to find my friends at Stem Genex and underwent my first adult stem cell treatment. AMAZING results got me to spouting off results and the oh-so-many added benefits I acquired from treatment. Since this past December, I was involved in the head-on collision, lost my new car, a good portion of my memory, on the short-term level, I have lost my decent job, decent pay, a couple of pissed off lymph nodes were removed, I am still weeding through 80 years of my parents belongings ... most all of it to be shipped somewhere else, and doing a lot of personal cleaning and disposing. My daughter became an RN, can't find a job in this area ... I acquired a hell of a case of depression .... imagine that!!!! Along with a level of physical pain which I thought I handled very well, given circumstances. I am still waiting on a settlement of some sort, while being told to concentrate on my recovery, and still under the care of multiple doctors for such.  Yet .... this just blows me away .... the added stresses of not knowing where, when, how .... no one can tell me if I will ever recover from the entire effects that have landed on me. It has taken me months to come to grips with the fact that I have no real control over this particular situation and to allow the attorney to take care of all the legal stuff while I try and figure out how to fill out a multitude of forms for multiple organizations/collectors/doctors, etc ... I am not a big fan of relinquishing my control ... LOL ... and most of all of this stress and frustrations has in some manner effected my insulin intake, blood sugars, my teeth ... OMG ... my teeth. I had a couple of teeth chipped in the accident, as well as some pain involving the grinding of them in my sleep,  and have not yet had them restored ... well .... it takes money ... and I have not, until recently had ANY $$$ coming in with the exception of some help from a friends. Without these friends, who have supported me on so many aspects of this happening, emotionally, spiritually, physically and yes ... monetarily as well. They are one of my most special blessings!! There is MUCH stressful topics to be had ... yet out of my control. It is very difficult, as I am sure so many can relate, to not stress given the economy. Along with all those reality issues .. I have the effects of all of this on my body ...

With all that ... my memory is still foggy on many levels, I confuse easily, especially if I am tired. I got these new super lenses ... lol ... I refer to them as my Mr. Magoo glasses. I can FINALLY see straight and it took 8 months for a doctor to tell me I was not crazy and there was a clear vision problem due to the accident. My new glasses are working well. I have had them since Friday ... I still am having a bit of issue in getting use to them as they are heavy on the bridge of my nose, and I am doing the exersizes told to do in order to make the vision "clear" .... which at times calls for some crossing ... it can be nauseating, and headache producing. But ... each day seems to get a little easier ... can't drive in them yet ... LOL ... I tried and it was like being on a really bad carnival ride!!! I can feel the changes happening in life ... some good, some not so much ... but for today, I was given the gift and I will utilize it to the best of my ability.

I am beginning to wander, and my face and head hurt again ... I have had no choice but to let my body direct me lately ... therefore, when it screams .... I listen!!! Regardless of how friends or HT may be hurt or disappointed by my inability to play (as in life by "normal" standars). I thank all for the support and encouragement as this has not been an easy leg of the journey .... and I feel very alone at times .... some folks have had a difficult time trying to relate to the changes in me ... I am still in here ... just a little slow on the uptake .... and when lost, most times I just sit quietly and try not to worry what was just said, or think about it too hard ... remains very frustrating for me, I can only imagine how those around me feel...??????

I will do my best to improve my postings, but in reality ... my focus isn't what it was and I distract sort of easily at times..... most times. Even though I feel I am making progress ... changes are occuring, and I am trying to be more aware .... but it seems to be an awareness of a higher caliber ....

Thanks for reading my continued rambles .... I hope to try and undergo my 3rd treatment by the end of this year .... I know, seems close, but I need to re-establish ... regenerate so many levels of my makeup ... hehehe .... I know there have been some high quality improvements with this past treatment, done right here in California, that I am confident that together .... we will gain the upper hand. Stem Genex has added some other videos of patient statements, and I am SO HAPPY to say I have met several of these people and the amazing stories they have to share on the changes and improvements they have experienced ... you can check them out on YouTube-StemGenex..... of course, you can find me out there as well!!! I was in the midst of my head injury issues when this was taped, and despite that, I hope I came across somewhat intelligently ... hehehe ... there were times when my thoughts just .... poof ... gone!!! Life is a game ... and I am still trying to play at a competative level. (I have to laugh, or I will cry).

Be well ... Be good to each other, Be good to yourself!!
Peace and Light
et

Topic still grabs my dwindled attention

Happy Saturday!!

Today's tidbit on the newswire .....

http://seekingalpha.com/article/693441-stem-cell-technology-s-bright-future

I haven't had such a great week. Exhausted, blood sugars need readjusting again, tons of stress ..... I don't even know where to start on that topic, so I will leave it alone.

These so-called new "super" lenses I have been waiting for better solve part of this problem as they have "forgot" or just plain screwed up the prescription TWICE!!! My headache continues, the more I attempt, the worse it gets .... so to the couch or bed I go. Was told yesterday that they should make a big difference in the headaches .... dah!! You think ??? I haven't been able to see straight for months, my head is constantly bobbing back and forth to align my eyes so that I see ... well, just one of something. LMAO .... yet it still seems ok to drive .... I'm sorry, but even with my head injury ... common sense isn't in that. I go out very rarely ... and if I can help it, I do all my errands in one morning ... so I don't have to cope with traffic, people, and the tasks at hand.

Ok then ... Just me and the dog this weekend .... sort of looking forward to this. Since the child came home, I am feeling very overwhelmed again ....

I wish all a safe and cool day ahead.
Be good to yourself, be good to others .... check on those who may be in need of a friendly face or gesture.

Peace and Light
et

Vacant ... somewhat distant ...

Hello!!

I know I have been so "out of it" in so many aspects of life. Yep, even folks that cope with diabetes have life hit them in "normal" ways. Although, there really isn't anything I find normal about my current and on-going saga. I REALLY wish I could remember even 1/8 of what has transpired since December. That, and all the beuracratic (sp) BS that seems to go with it. I have multiple "sayings", "directives", "words of wisdom" comments stuck in my head and they have been daunting to me to overcome. One day seems to blend into another and I couldn't tell you what I did an hour ago!!! I continue to have outragous and bizarre dreams. I could go to sleep on the drop of a dime. I made HT cry last week when I snapped at her and asked her to please, slow down, I can't follow you!!!" All these months she has been telling me "I don't know what to do for you." ..... I guess that was the most important thing for me now. I have been out only a few times where I had to do the multiple people in one place .... I do know that on 2 of these outings, I was drained, empty, questionable ... I couldn't seem to follow any conversations, especially if there were more than 3-4 our us standing there. I was VERY uncomfortable .... and for anyone who knows me from "way  back" ... you know I LOVED a party!!!

Party .... I guess this is a big weekend here in Prescott with the "Oldest Rodeo" in the area for the 4th of July Celebrations.  A holiday in which I have always been fond of ... hehehehehe ... see, I was born into this world on the morning of July 5th .... and with this, my 49th opportunity to celebrate .... I find myself in a deep, deep, dark area. An area I think I can honestly say has not happened since contemplating and following through with divorce. This ... is 10X worse than I remember that.... and given what was involved in that entire relationship ... I SURVIVED, and even in dark times, thrived, and moved forward, hopefully learning ... but .... there is always that .... "I'll take a chance." I think I have rubbed off on Maggie ... she loves to just lay around, follow me, and sleep. Just like me ... I roam around, looking for lists I know I made and can't find ... just F'in aimless .... Depression, well, hell ya!! but .... I wonder how much of it is ... and how much of it is just areas of my brain in which need to be re-ignited .... ????????? I have not taken up drinking .... LMAO .... although the thought has crossed my mind ... then I remember what the "rest of them" resemble.

Given the traffic, people, horses, too many people for me to cope with alone, I have decided to hunker down starting tomorrow afternoon. I have to venture into town for a therapy appointment ... and then I am in and around my own home, and with any luck, guidance, alignment of the stars ... the moon, the Gods .... whomever and whatever may put my ass into some sort of productivity. I have all I need right here ... and I am considering locking myself into my end of the house and finishing ... actually beginning, the area called my bedroom, and turn it into the serene, relaxing place I have preparred for since moving in .... 4 years .... I think it is time to settle down. I can't imagine what life would be like if I was still caring for my parents and thier needs...??? Yet, lately .... I believe I feel my mother close ... and not a day has gone by since this nightmare began have I wanted her, or needed her more. <3

I would like to wish a Happy 4th, Happy St. Jean the Baptiste' ... whatever you may celebrate in this month of Glory!!! Please practice some caring, common sense to our daily activities and those we encounter ... something I found amusing in looking at myself these days ..... I don't like to go out lately because for the 1st time in my life .... I just can't bring myself to fake it!!!!

Peace, Light, Love and Gratitude
et

I am pretty sure ...

that you just can't make this stuff up!!!!
One hit right after another .... and yet, I continue to get up to see what the day will bring.... most days. While house/dog sitting for 10 days, upon my friends return I was asked ... "what the hell did you do for ten days?" My response .... if I wasn't in that chair .... I was in the pool, or in bed!! Depression ... it is a great way to catch up on sleep. I returned last Tuesday .... and each and every day since something has come up with throws my already overworked stress levels to an even higher level, the lapse in my health insurance due to a disregard for timely handling on the part of my former employee ... along with a discrepancy as to whether they broke the law about FMLA. I am being tired of being told to "file a lawsuit." I only have so much focus ... and I MUST focus on my recovery, which is beyond slow by my own standards. There is just really too much to cover here on my blog, or my FB page, or even in emails. I have become rather reclusive ... my support system has dwindled somewhat with some just not being able to cope with the changes in me. I am still here .... just a little deeper to find and requiring some explaining at times. hahahahhaha ... imagine ... having to explain a dirty joke to me....????

With that being said ... I began vision therapy this week ... that pretty much shot most of Monday and the ice-pick headache has re-established itself, I can't help but think the more I push the more pressure I put on my brain. When the new lenses come in this ought to be not only an interesting adjustment .... but .... this sounds so vain ... but I really don't want to resemble a Ms. Magoo.... lol

Today is day 3 without our AC and we are totally toasting away. The repair man should be here by end of day .... OMG I hope so as it is predicted to hit 111 here in the mountains, and as high as 115 in the Phoenix area. Even poor Maggie just wants to lay around ... and thus she should!!

enjoy the day ... be good to each other, be good to yourself!!
Peace and Light
et

A good day to go back to bed ...

Happy Father's Day to all ... regardless of whom or what you may be daddy too!!!!
I am not feeling well today ... it has been a week of beyond challenging occurances. I had been house/dog sitting with my Maggie for 10 days down in Phoenix and although I didn't do much other than take care of some paperwork and work out in the pool, which I really enjoyed. Since coming home (up the mountain) on Tuesday afternoon, I have had a hard time adjusting to breathing. At one point coming up the hill, I hit the fire residue, and fighting this cold which today, I think I am down. All the stressful happenings of this past week, I developed that "ice pick" headache again while undergoing an eye assessment on Tuesday ... I have lost my health insurance, which is beyond a stress level I can handle, mentally and physically. This headache makes me sick to my stomach ... to the point where just moving around slowly here in the house sends me to the point of ..... well .... barf!!!!

With that being said, I will not, or cannot, go into details of what went down. I have been trying to record my thoughts and happenings for the book, which I am going to have to make a reality soon just to help with staying afloat. Boy, I hope someone out there wants to read these antics of mine and how I have come this far. I know that those who have stood by me in the past few months, over and above the years of dealing with me and my diabetes, are concerned about my mental health and well being. I assure you all, I will do nothing "stupid" .... it is not in me to give up. I have come WAY too far to give up now. The adjustments I have had to make, and continue to work on is so polar oppisite of who I was before this accident, and I have a difficult time on certain topics, situations, etc ... in which I am just trying to cope as best I can.

Ok .. my tummy is on a rampage and I am going off to nap with my pup. Not what I had wanted to accomplish on this day, but ... that stuff will be there when I get up, hopefully feeling a little better.

Enjoy the day!!!!
Peace and Light to all!!!
et

Another video to share and ...

Hi everyone,

My apologies for not posting for a while. I have been up to my ears in recovery, therapy, and most important .... some serious, deep soul searching on the situation at hand. I continue to work towards a complete recovery, however, it isn't coming and I may not regain a lot of what I had prior. Which is where my soul searching comes in. Coming to terms that things are not as they were, and that, yet again, in my lifetime, I have to adjust and move on .... not sure of where I am moving too.

With that being said .... my stem cell treatment of March 18, 2012 has been a blessing in many areas, just not my cognition, even though I believe it has made a difference in that area, not to the depth I would have hoped for ... being told that they are most likely working, but that my brain was badly "bruised and healing takes time." Well, I will not lie, it has been 6 months and I have been depressed in this situation having been out of work with no income for 3 months now and all the stressed that come with that alone, nevermind my health issues. It is, and has been, a lot for one person to deal with. My daughter had to go 2 hours away to land a job as a new RN graduate, and that too, has added to my fragmented thinking at times. Being alone with no one but the dog to talk to can be frustrating, yet Maggie has offered me a calming presense in which I just have to tell myself .... "it's ok" .... "try again tomorrow" .... my head is often time a feeling of emptyness, fog..... it really is hard for me to explain, but the term "Brain Fart" ... has a daily occurance in my life these days. If I don't laugh, I cry .... that too, has been a tough hurdle for me, feeling as though my entire personality was altered with the hit of the car. All these issues are coming to the surface, and on Tuesday I have yet another doctor appointment to assess my vision component regarding the accident. My vision has been a major concern for me .... nothing seems to be in focus for long, if at all, even with my glasses. I was told that there was no damge to my eyes during the initial appointment with my opthalmologist right after the accident. Now ... 6 months later, I am being told it isn't so much my eyes, as the connection of my eyes to my brain. GEEEEZZZZEEEE .... it has been a lot to deal with.

So ... I am plugging along as best I can. I am making progress, if small by my own standards. Frustration continues to plague me. So, check out this video of an amazing couple of whom I have spoken to about Barbara's successes with stem cell treatment.  Hillary and I spent 3 days with this amazing couple .... the courage, love, determination, good humor, and realistic outlook on what Barbara has dealt with for so many years, and the wonderful changes she has experienced with treatment. Bob, her sidekick and support in this is also a noteworthy contributor. For me, I really think to have your spouse, significant other, family ... friends ... to support you in your efforts to regain your health is not only a blessing and a gift, but makes the journey a little more tolerable on those days when things are not that great, as for many of us, we still have bad days ... they just seem a whole lot less!!! Give it up for Barbara and Bob ...

http://youtu.be/tKoMuLDf7V8

I love this couple!!!!

Be well ... be good to yourself ... be good to each other!!!!
Peace and Light
et

Have a great weekend!!

Happy Friday ... to those that may care what day it is. (hehe)

For me ... well, I have no real info to share yet. I did have labs done, however, after a month of being on B12 supplements, and what I feel are disturbing issues, I had some labs that came back "great" others, not so much, especially in my own opinion. I am disappointed on so many levels.

With that being said, I would like to wish everyone a relaxing weekend. I have an appointment, again, in Phoenix on Monday with my neuro ... hopefully, he will shed some more light on this train wreck in which I am losing ground in my battle to recover. I am concerned due to the fact my scheduled appoint on 6/11 was bumped up in part because of these labs .... ??? I don't know how to feel, what to think .... I feel so scattered in past months. It really isn't me.

For today ... boy, I hope I can do today ... I have a financial appt at 10, a doc appointment at 12:30 (my poor right thumb is stuck ... so there is another BFN in my future, and then HT and I are going to try and walk around the home show (hoping Friday is a slower of the 3 day show). I don't do so well with big crowds these days .... too many people, sends me home.

To all ... have a wonderful weekend!!
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!!
PLEASE :)

Peace and Light
et

Has anyone seen this ???

I can't wait to check out this episode.
No one can act this like we type 1s live it.

All the awareness we can get!!!

http://www.jdrf.org/index.cfm?page_id=117129

Have a wonderfully relaxing evening!!
Peace and Light
et

The littlest soldiers ...

it doesn't get any easier as we age as the disease begins to take it's toll.

Support a cure!! The JDRF is, and has always been focused on the cure (including stem cells!!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1_ziZzbgwM&list=UUDtH5ogRvev_VVf7-nQiPPg&index=2&feature=plcp

This video isn't new, it just makes one think about the future.


Peace and Light
et

I hope ALL the mothers in not only my life, but the world had a day as wonderful as they are!!!

I know I haven't posted, and I can say life has been a struggle lately, with my health, as well as the backup of household issues from A-Z.

I saw this post and just had to share this news. It is an amazing write up and I hope that all find this a bit inspiring in where we can go NOW!!! I can honestly say, I am hoping, praying, that with a couple of more treatments and a few advances ... I too, will be one of these few, first inspirations to others who can benefits. 

PLEASE SUPPORT THE ADVANCEMENT OF ADULT STEM CELL TREATMENT!!!!! So many are praying for better lives.


http://www.newsmax.com/SciTech/somers-stem-cell-breast-Re-growth/2012/02/07/id/428732

Be good to yourself ... Be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et

Friday 5/4/12

Good Morning ....
and a happy start to the weekend!!

Not much to report. It has been a couple of very frustrating weeks. Being alone with just the dog is not making my attempt at recovery any easier. I am have a very difficult time with organizing.... and most of all ... any sort of decision to be made. My mind wanders, it is like a major case of ADD and I don't know what to do to fix it. I have my first real psychotherapy appointment this afternoon and I don't like to be mean, or nasty, it sucks my energy away and I become even less productive. Maybe it is time (almost 6 months) for me to get angry ... and for as much as I don't want to direct it at this woman, she is getting paid a nice sum to listen to me .... and then, if she isn't ready to slap me, she can help guide me with some new tools, as the once always dependable one I used, don't seem to be doing the trick.

I have been on this B12 supplement for a month now .... along with some other brain promoting supplements and I have to tell you ... it would take dynamite up my ass to get the energy flowing!!! This too, has been exceptionally frustrating as I have found myself just saying, "can't do it" and have to lay down ..... which has turned into some long naps ..... like laying down at 5 or 6 and being out cold until the next morning. Blood sugars seem to be holding with still the occasional lows, but the tweaking of the insuling dosage has continued to remain on the downward direction. Next week I get all my labs drawn, lipids, CMP, A1c, the B12, folate and homocysteine levels. I certainly hope the "easy fix" the neurologist said this would be is true, /cause it sure doesn't feel like it.

Almost everything I touched this week broke or blew up ..... including my laptop.  Frustrated, is a mild word .... I was so pissed, so livid with myself I came close to just busting into tears .... instead ... I think I went to bed on more than one night.  Yesterdays trip to the dermatologist ended with no actual cuts being made as now it should be tended to by a plastic surgeon. It is so close in proximity to my actual eye, that a plastic/reconstructive surgeon is going to have to remove the spot and make me pretty. Another major irritation on my part, it couldn't be my left eye .... ??? ..... you know that one on the same side as my driving side, in which appears WAY more wrinkled than the right .... NOOOOO ..... it is right smack dab in the middle of my right lower eye lid. I am thinking I should do a documentary of my scars .... LOL ...... I am flipping covered with surgical scars, and I think I can probably give a pretty good direction of my life via these aging reminders ..... LOL ....

Anyway ... Maggie and I will be taking a little ride tomorrow .... how long I am gone depends on so many events, I want to say the day ... but then ..... anything could happen and I must be prepared in that event .... it has become almost too much to deal with just to go visit a friend. All the things I have to be prepared for in regard to making sure I have my meds, an emergency back up of insulin and all the things that go along with that ... which was second nature prior to the accident, is now just a major P.I.T.A.!!

On that note ... I am going to wish everyone a peaceful and relaxing weekend!! I do this because I feel the world moves too quickly these days .... and I think the older generation had the right idea in their manner in which they relaxed and enjoyed the outdoors, the family, etc. to dissolove lifes stressors.

Be good to yourself, be good to others!!!
Peace and Light
et

Monday Monday .....

..... and I can't (but once did) remember the next line to this song. (can't trust that day??)

Anyway ... Happy Monday, and I hope this finds everyone had a good weekend. Mine ... well, was full of frustration. I am unsure of what is going on with my body and I don't like that. I have a week and a half until I undergo another round of labs .... my blood sugars have been dropping a lot, and I am pretty sure I am catching most of them in time to treat. But .... then there is this B12 issue. I thought, and have always heard from others that when they took B12 supplements or got their shots that they were all full of energy....??? After the neurologist told me I had a B12 deficiency and a homocysteine overload, he put me on B12 supplements and wanted repeat labs. Well ... I have to tell you .. that since starting this ... my ass has been draggin' beyond believe!!!! I don't understand what is going on. The psychotherapist is also telling me that a B12 deficiency is common in head injury patients. I am SO frustrated with myself ... currently, I am not my biggest fan and since the accident it is hard for some to deal/cope with me which I know I shouldn't ... but at times take it a bit personally.

Anyway .... Last week was a useless week productivity wise. I had doctor appointments and the driving ... well ... it just sucked the life right out of me and I don't really remember the rest of the week except in only involved hanging out in the house with the dog.

It is going to be a hot day .... and I am being discouraged from being out in the yard alone. I understand this to a point, but I have things that need to get done out there or no one will ever find me if the weeds get out of control. For the most part, I am living alone ... therefore ... I must do it. But, even I, am thinking power tools in my future today ... is out of the question. I need to make some much overdue phone calls in regard to securing some sort of future for myself ..having done this once before and it turned into a 2+ year process .... I am not looking forward to "begging" again for the help I not only deserve, but have paid into and now I NEED it. Otherwise, I will be placing an add looking for a husband .... hahahaha .... with excellent medical benefits for a potentially short relationship.... LOL.

I think it's funny ... but I am frustrated.

Ok kids ... I wish everyone a wonderful day!!
Be good to yourself, be good to each other.
Peace and Light
et

April 29th 2012

Good Morning and Happy Sunday!!

I am not feeling well this morning. My blood sugars have been up and down for the past 2-3 days. (time for me means nothing lately) I crashed 3x on Thursday (I think) and with each crash, I have been able to catch it just a little more ahead of the curve, i.e.,  1st one was 44 when caught, the last one I caught as 60 with warnings, but ... then I just want to eat until I feel better as the crashing seems to be far more intense than I can ever recall. Recall ... not being my best subject these days. I am so beyond frustrated with the situation overall. The accident has changed my life as I knew it and I am angry to a point that I can't seem to pull my head out from up my ass to get a grip on what to do about it, and no one can tell me if it is or will ever be the way it was before. I had such high hopes of 2012 being a year to remember for positive reasons.

I had my meeting with the psychotherapist, and I can honestly tell you that I was not a happy girl with some of what was being told to me. I meet with her again on Friday ... guessing I should bring some of my anger and frustration with me this time ... not to aim it at anyone ..... Shall we say, I have a lot of personal, soul searching work to do, and for that, I have become sort of recluse .... I think it is better this way so that I don't hurt anyone unintentionally with words or moods. I am not happy with myself on this road, I can't imagine anyone else would be either. It has been odd, how some can handle this sort of change in others, and some try, but just can't bring themselves to participate. I completely understand ... it is and can be a sort of hopeless journey ... and when one feels hopeless ... SO many scenarios can play out.

I will stop, as I am not even sure I understood what I just typed. I didn't sleep well at all last night ... I mean some of these dreams I am having range from blissful to down-right freakin' scary!! Last night I was jailed!!! I have NEVER been jailed ... arrested ... the closest I have come is moving violation or parking ticket. I swear I spent half the night screaming and tossing around ... I am freakin' exhausted and have only been up for a couple of hours.

I am going to take that nice long, hot shower and see if I can't blow some life back into the old girl .... I am thinking it is going to be a  sort of low key day ... perhaps with some napping ... when what I should really be doing is outside ... but I am alone, and with doc instructions ... how far am I willing to push myself today ... this is just crap in my opinion ... I live alone now for the most part, and I WILL NOT allow friends to "babysit" if you will. Me and my life are not for them to worry about, although I am so blessed that they do, it really isn't their responsibility.

To ALL ... I wish a wonderful day and peaceful thoughts.
Peace and Light
et

The video has posted!!

I hope the link below works.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qumjpRYKyhU

If not, you can check it out on YouTube-StemGenex videos. There are several videos from patients treated with various afflictions. ALL worthy of a look, and I look forward to seeing the follow up on the results and progress being made.

Been a long week for me, and I have been down a lot. The beginning of the week was just a lot for me to deal with physically, and apparently emotionally as well with the drive to Phoenix on Monday and doctor appointments both Monday and Tuesday. My function as far as my head isn't moving along as I would like and I continue to tire easily. I am being told repeatedly, I must set limits ... hahahaha ... time limits that allow me to rest and NOT push to the completion of a project. Well ... that is a whole lot easier said than done!! I push, and then, I crash ... it is a hard habit to break with life has always (or seems like) one hit after another, often times with no time in between to crash. Regarding "crashing" I have had a lot of low blood sugars this week, on Thursday, 3x. This after having dropped my insulin a 1/2 unit during the day, and a full unit over night. I am thinking, that it either needs to drop again, or I need to evaluate the math in regard to my insulin to carb ratio as that may still need to be adjusted as well. The lows also cause me to just want to sleep, which is good for my brain, but not so much for getting stuff done.

Enjoy your day!!
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et

Let me lay it out there

Happy Tuesday!!

I am sorry I did not post last night. I was so incredibly drained upon my return from Phoenix. I did the ride down and back, by myself. First issue at hand. My being alone seems to have my endocrinologist on edge. I put forth my data since treatment on 3.21.12 and she was pleased with what was there, EXCEPT .... for several lows in which she was wondering "what happened." I tried to explain that since treatment, I have developed some sense of "awareness" again and that I have been catching them somewhere between 50-60. However, over the weekend I was out in the yard with HT doing some burning, weed pulling, raking, spraying for bugs ... and I bottomed out at some point ... it was much later in the day, we had already come in and HT had gone to pick up friends. When they returned, all 3 of them looked at me and said "she's down."

Now.... let's get something straight ... I have never used my disease as an excuse. I was out working, I am, for the most part, living alone, at the time HT was here with me ... I do not have a 24 hour a day babysitter. I am not involved in a relationship with any sort of "significant other," and my daughter is a recent grad who is trying to move on with HER life. My outlook has NEVER been to have my child "take care of me." She does, we are in contact daily, on the norm. So ... you know, one day someone just may find me down and perhaps from a low blood sugar ... those are facts!!! They have always been facts ... however, I am not now, nor have I ever, lived my life with fear of that. I denied it for a long time ... lol ... but as I got older, as HT phrases it best, "it is part of her life, our life, it does not, however, define us." She has always told people that, people who have told her ... (she is just amazed at how little people know) There is no difference in my mother or your mother, my mother just deals with a chronic disease, again, it does not define her. She is so much more ..... That in and of itself, makes me one proud mama.

Ok ... well ... endocrinologist was a little concerned. She has stated in the past that I "scare" her. Maybe it is time for me to cut back a little on how hard I push myself..... with all that has come to light just since Friday. In any event, we dropped my basal rate another 0.5 units per hour across the board, and my early evening to midnight basal a WHOLE unit!!!! To me ... this is pretty impressive!! Along with the drop in basal rate, we adjusted my carb to insulin ratio, going from 1 unit for 13 grams of carb to 1 unit for 15 grams, seems small, but can be a big effort in trying to curb the lows (for those that are unaware of how this works, too much insulin, not enough food/carb can lead to low blood sugars).  I will have labs done in about a week to grab my latest A1c, and the usual monitoring labs, as well as the B12 and related labs from the neurologist.

On Friday, HT and I met with a psychotherapist who specializes in head injury patients ... seemed to be going well until I lost interest, denial was weighing heavy. It didn't matter how hard I tried, certain things just didn't come out clear, without distraction, and at one point, I know I just started to stare off listening to her telling us that "I believe you should begin the process of filing your social security paperwork. It was as if someone stuck me with a really sharp object. As many of you know, I had done this play back in the mid-to-late 90s when the medical community was ready to write me off. Really ... how many lives can one person have????? After a 2 year process and a frustrating one at that, benefits kicked in and for the next 10 years I raised my daughter on very little..... and survived with the help of my little village. To have to begin this process yet again ... this time all based on another individuals stupidity ... I am feeling a vast array of emotions from anger, denial, confusion .... just a wide array of ups and downs, what will I do now. I was making decent money, I enjoyed my job, it involved a lot of reading, staying on top of the CMS guidelines, appropriate applications and the up and coming ICD10. Now ... I have a hard time reading the news and being able to repeat key facts within. It is frustrating at best ... and that doesn't even add in the bills, mortgage, work that comes with home ownership etc.

So ... I sort of got distracted ... so I am off to get ready for yet another doctor appointment. I hope everyone has a great day ... I will do my best to pull reports and post so that I can explain in better detail.

Be good to yourselves ... be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et

Starting the week off ....

Morning all !!

Well ... small post just to let you  know I am off to Phoenix ... uuuhhhggggg .... I think I am down 5 pounds already this morning, and I am trying to put myself in the proper mind set for the drive. I have an appointment with my endocrinologist .... I am very excited for her to see my data, and on that note, will post again later on. I will also let you know that my head injury status went where I was hoping it would not.

Wishing everyone a wonderful start to the work-week .... and a good week overall.
I will check in later tonight. Have a great day!!!

Be good to yourself, be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et

Friday happenings

Happy Friday!!

Ok ... just a quickie update.

Anxiety,
occasional panic
body ache and odd responses (massage therapist thinks it is my inner method of coping with the anxiety behind the wheel, which I thought I was approaching appropriately, she agreed, however, the mind is a VERY powerful persuader of response)
fuzzy (at best) memory
short-term CRS (can't remember shit!!) ... (it's ok to laugh ... I am trying)
stresses of coping with ...
family issues
employment issues
home front issues (bills, mortgage, etc)
child issues (she is moving out, and up ... and momma is feeling a little "swept off the bottom of her shoes" I know this was coming ... I just didn't think it would hit so fast ... and in the midst of my chaos.
How to make sure I am compliant with ALL docs and meds ... (lucky for me, my docs are AWESOME and try to work with me in regard to what can be afforded, the most natural way possible to get things done rather than writing a script ... a pill, in my opinion, does NOT fix everything!!!

Ok ... well ... those are some of the issues in which I am attempting to work through as I focus on recovery of my mind and functionality. I am SO glad I can manage to focus on the topics that interest me ... but that is still a questionable retainment status..... ??? I am learning.

For the next couple of days ... HT is home until Sunday ... yard work this morning ... heat is going to slow me, so .. am hoping we can get a good chunk done each day for me to follow up on next week while I am alone. This afternoon I have my first psychotherapy appointment with the woman who is suppose to "help" me get through this ... 5 months after the fact ... she has an excellent reputation on working with head injury patients on retraining, learning tools for me to accomplish the things I can't seem to get done anymore. I am ... again, unsure of all of this ... not really how I approach things. I can vividly remember the last time I spent this much time in sweats!!!! ..... and it was (or at least seem that way) a long time ago, and I had issues of safety involved for both myself and my child. (this phase of my life is book material ... hehehe). We will see how this plays out, HT is going to accompany me to help with some of the things the "outside" sees and how I am responding to other happenings of life.

On Monday .... another trip to Phoenix ... oh joy!!! I again have to do the trip myself ... I have my first appointment with my endocrinologist since my 2nd stemmie treatment .. and I believe I have some excellent data. I am very excited on how she will respond to this data. I am so very much looking forward to sharing some of these numbers and lab values for the past couple of months, and over the next month. To see the correlation between the stemmies and the lab values prior to and post treatment. I think this is VERY exciting stuff. Given how I feel at this very moment .. I would take a booster right now .... hehehe ... I think the way I am feeling has something to do with this B12 BS. Next lab draw on that will be in 2 weeks.

So ... I am heading out to the yard shortly and hope for a decent day, and a productive weekend. One thing I keep being told is to readjust my thinking ... (hahaha ...this is so much easier said than done) and focus on a "time frame" rather then the completion of a project. (suppose to help build my stamina and prevent the headaches that can come back due to the pushing of myself). Again, this has been a portion of my journey in which I was not planning on, completely unprepared to tackle, and feeling as though I am very alone, physically and emotionally, on how to cope with ALL this stuff that needs attention, attention of one who is at least remotely in control of what can be remembered ... I write all sorts of stuff down ... just depends on if I can find it again when needed.

I am not trying to come across as "whining" ... I am just trying to put out there the added stresses to my life in which I CAN discuss currently, and how hard I am finding it ... it is hard to deal with all this financial stress and try and focus on my recovery as well ... almost seems completely opposite of what they are trying to accomplish ... lawyers, insurance companies ... starting to fall in same category as FDA ... LOL ... in my humble opinion.

On that note ... I would like to wish everyone a wonderful, relaxing, productive, whatever makes you happy weekend!!! Be good to yourself .... Be good to each other!!

Peace and Light
et

... and today I am done

Morning kids ...

Well ... I went for what will be my last massage for a while, the what some call a "buffer" is gone! Although it has been prescribed I undergo massage every 2 weeks for accident and previous health issues, this is what I would call a "luxury" by many peoples standards. I have bills to pay, and I am not seeing anything legally being settled for God only knows how long.

1. This blows me away on an emotional front. How am I too recover, focus on getting better, getting back to a point where what seemed normal to me prior, is like being a toddler again?"  All this added stress about who is going to get paid, will I lose my home, will I go back to work and maintain the job title, status, and my creditionals??? I worked really hard to prove I could be a "functioning, productive member of society." I was successful at it, and now ... due to the fact I was able to maintain my health, until about a year or two ago when things began to really decline in my ability to go through the day without the help of a friend, puts me in a bad position now. All because of an accident. An accident in which I saw it coming at me, but was unable to do a freakin' thing about it. ....... BBOOOOM!!! was all I heard ... lights out ... and when I awoke, in a panic thinking I was going to burn .... my life suddenly changed in a way that even I, have never had to cope with on a level like this, from this side of the patient/care taker/doctor positions.

It has been almost 5 months since my accident .... does stuff really take this long?? Is all this added stress worth it ... ?? Well, I think so ... but I am not sure how much I can cope with physically as well as mentally, emotionally, etc. I still have a ton of crap to accomplish, and a few things I would actually like to enjoy. Like that week on a tropical paradise ... just reading a book, soaking up the scents, the sounds, hell, I don't even really need company ... hehehe ... just to let go of everything ... breathe deep, exhale slowly ... allow the cobwebs that are going in my head to dissapate, and come back ready to rock and roll for the science in which I have become such a passionate fan.

I believe in prayer ... and I have been doing it .. for myself, for others, for those who have stood by me, close and far away ... your continued prayers, good vibes, encouragement, opinions and love .... they really do go so deep that my words could never convey my appreciation!!!

On that note ... my massage last night has me hurtin' today. My massage therapist told me that "driving to Phoenix is NOT good for your body!!" I was sort of "frozen" in a position in which I know happened on that drive to Phoenix last week. You remember, when I came into the city limits my arms were asleep from the shoulders down due to gripping the steering wheel like I was some sort of B-rated scream queen. I don't think I can remember the last time I heard and felt so much popping and cracking as went on last night. OMG ... from my neck down to the top of that lovely gluteous maximus ... hehehe ... I am going to wrap in the ol' sexy scent of icy hot today ... and just chill .... I am beginning to think my body has almost 50 years of toxic debris floating around in me .... I had a water bottle gone in the time it took me to leave the studio and get home (less than 2 miles), and continued to pound them back until I had wiped out 4 of them before hitting the pillows ... again ... it is an amazingly cleansing feeling.  That magnificent body ... it continues to amaze me with what the body has the ability to do and come back from ... and how our mind frame can affect it ... so ... I am off to a HOT shower, and then the rub down. It is good to keep me flexible and moving ... I am also seeing a nap in our future today, weather is beautiful .. air sucks today. I have been told 3x this week that I am pushing my mind too hard, I need to set time frames in which I do something and not focus on completion of said projects ... this is in complete reverse of what I have always done. I am being forced to "deal with it" if I want to continue life in any sort of functional, $$$, and productive life, and we all know I like my quality ... over my quantity ... hehehehe and ... one last one ... today ... I am down another 1/2 unit of insulin ... toxins be gone!! :O

Something to ponder ... today and everyday!!!!

"Unknown"

I would like to wish everyone a great day .. and a wonderful, relaxing evening.
Let it all go ...
Peace and Light
et

Just an interesting read ... and some status news

Good Morning ....

I hope this finds everyone doing well and content.

This article came to me this morning ... I think it is a REALLY interesting read. Progress toward SO many people, with SO many diseases and disorders. This is the sort of research that needs to move forward. Paving the way ....

http://newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/ucla-headlines-april-16-2012-232115.aspx

As for me ... I enjoyed my weekend solitude. I need to do a little more of that as I was very productive ... at least by my new, revised standards, in which I am still frustrated with the status of my memory. "Ring my bell" my ass!!! Anyway ... won't go there ... I am doing my best to re-invent ... at least the way I go about accomplishing this day-to-day BS some of us call life. Stress levels are high, and so many areas in which need to have my attention, and not being able to give my prior 100%, I am forced to deal, one at a time, as long as it takes for me to accomplish. I am learning ... yet again, how precious life and the things we do in it, can change and/or be altered, or worse, taken away completely, in a split second. SO ... Enjoy each day like it could be your last, put your best self forward, be good to yourself ... be good to each other. Simple ...

My blood sugars have been amazingly commercial worth, consistently ... I am going to gather some data over the next couple of days ... repeat labs will be done in a couple of weeks, and again, a couple of weeks later, in part, due to a B12 deficiency which is being looked at......?? I am still pretty much pain free, I have had a couple of headaches, and was stiff over the weekend, but I really believe that was just the weather ... which has been weird at best. I actually had to put my heat on over the weekend. Other positive happenings include, my skin, which is really starting to show the positive signs, with even less wrinkles on my face, again, this left side (my driving side) seems to have aged a lot faster than I would have hoped for, LOL ... but the right side is looking FABU!!! and most important, at least to me is seems like a really positive change, is that my stamina seems to be coming back. I am still up early every morning, Maggie is better than any alarm clock for getting it up, and getting me moving ... and I seem to be getting more done and not being so totally wiped out and sore, and a multitude of other ailments that have a way of crawling back in. Overall ... I think this treatment has taken at a much more positive, quicker time frame, and I am hoping for several more months of progressive findings. My blood sugars are just blowing me away ... I have found myself scratching my head on a few occasions ... .just baffled at the results ... ALL well within or below what I have had as a baseline for many years. Of course, what life throws at us ... we all have these happenings to some degree ... I have them, and then I have to add my management of my disease to all this ... it can be a juggling act on the best of days ... in recent months ... my balls have seemed to all be on the ground. So this is my way, of yet again, picking myself up, and dusting myself off .... to move forward so I can continue to help pave the way for others to benefit from this medicine/science!!!! I BELIEVE!!!

Peace and Light to all for a wonderful day!!!
et

Disease and Depression

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304587704577333941351135910.html


I so should have been the doctor I had dreamed of once upon a time.

VERY promising progress here in the States

Two takes on the promising progress of regulations here in the States.
The New York Times and the Houston Chronicle.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/14/us/new-rules-on-adult-stem-cells-approved-in-texas.html?_r=1


http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Texas-board-approves-controversial-stem-cell-3481466.php

Enjoy the Day!!
Peace and Light
et

Today's PR on Texas debate of Stem Cell Regs

Here is your read for the day ....
Enjoy ... comments ... ?? (throw me a bone here kids ... lol)

http://news.sciencemag.org/scienceinsider/2012/04/experts-divided-on-texas-medical.html?ref=hp


Have a great day!!
Peace and Light
et

Taking the Weekend off

Hello WebWorld!!

Just thinking about what to do for the weekend ... hahahhahaha .... like I really care, seeing as this past week I clearly was unaware of WHAT day it was. I went to the Valley for a doctor appointment on Monday, got that one right. Thought I was told my appointment with my PCP was the next day @ 11 am, showed up ... girl looks at me and says "your appointment is tomorrow." ... couldn't really do anything but laugh ... there are times I shake my own head and think ... "I can't believe they let me out by myself!!" LOL.

Today, I woke sort of sore all over. So much for my pain free status. I firmly believe it is the weather as they are calling for SNOW to begin this afternoon!!! REALLY??!?!?!??? It is mid-April!! Anyway ... I can see, and I can definitely FEEL the incoming dampness, raw and bone hitting (popping/cracking) ache. Not as bad, even remotely, to what I was dealing with prior to treatment. But, I am very much aware of body movements today. So I put the radio on ... I have satellite radio free for the month!!! That means I can spend my weekend hunkered in with all my boys ..... and Maggie. I don't even have to leave the house. Frank, B.B., Dean, Elvis .... lol ... I am one happy girl, and at least Maggie WILL dance with me, even if I go to the "Joint" (reggae)

  

Anyway ... no Jazz and Blues Fest for me this weekend .... :( .... weather is going to be yucky, and I am not thinking I can cope real well with that little added stress. I have many other things to tend with these days. One at a time, one day at a time. It is a pretty good philosophy to go by ... regardless of what we may be coping with. I have plenty to do right here ...

I would like to wish EVERYONE, a fabulous weekend!!
Enjoy ... be good to yourself, be good to each other!!

Peace and Light
et

Not sure where I found this tonight ...

.... but some very cool applications in regard to the counting processes coming to light in the stem cell arena.

https://www.amnis.com/stem-cell-bio.html

(HT and I found this to be an exciting process which pretty much took part at the foot of my recovery/infusion bed, give or take 5-8 feet).

Good Night Folks.
Peace and Light
et

One of the most exciting things I have seen in some time

Hello Everyone!!

Check out this photo ... !!!!
Thanks to my friend AZ Deb, via her new iPhone .. lol ... she took a pic of the hard copy I got in the mail last week from the wonderful team at Stem Genex, and Dr. Mark. These are MY adult (adipose) stem cells from my recent 32112 treatment (my 2nd) coming to life ... in living color!!

Are they not just the most beautiful thing??? LOL .... yep I'm a geek!!
I'm going to blow it up and matte it as when my bedroom is finally completed, the walls will be one of these beautiful shades of lavender ... with my ocean motif' ... the colors calm me, and the scenes take me to a quiet, calming place ... something in which I have been lacking now for some time. I just really think this whole process, and the amazing results I have shown continues to bring me the ultimate hope that there is a future with CURE ... for SO many!! The ability for me to be a small part of this ground-breaking science/medicine/ and the FDA allowing it under strict guidelines, but the ability to let people know ... don't give up on your faith in mankind!!! I feel so amazingly blessed by some of the people that have been placed in my path, especially since my accident. I believe I had a fairly decent neurology appointment today down in Phoenix. I had to do this trip by myself. Just when I thought I had overcome a good portion of my anxiety behind the wheel .... I made into the Phoenix city limits and my arms were numb from the shoulders down due to gripping the wheel so tightly for an hour!!! I was like a love struck teenager, my hands were so sweaty!!! I got a grip .. in the waiting room. Labs reportedly show a B12 deficiency, and an "overproduction of homocysteine." "Which can cause cognitive problems." WONDERFUL ... and I thought this was ALL due to hitting my head!! Humbling ... but still with much work to do on the emotional, PTSD, relearning, retention, and recalling of things taught, or even said to me. (As I forgot to tell him about one thing that others are noticing, and continues to bother my focus. My right eye has this tendency to wander inward, especially when I am tired, to the point the neighbor noticed my eyes cross one night, (I thought I was just dizzy) and she said ... whoa, your eyes crossed. From the end of the driveway!!!

So ... going to grab a bite to eat, and call it an early night ... driving for 4+ hours just for a doctor appointment can wear on me. I am so happy that I have some wonderful, open minded doctors working with me and like a parachute ... minds only work when fully open.

I hope everyone had a decent Monday ...
Have a good week!!
Peace and Light
et



The AdiStem Process used for my treatment

For the professionals that may be following me ... or for those who, like myself, like to dig a little deeper. :)

The AdiStem process is the process in which I underwent both of my adult (adipose) stem cell treatments ... and I have to say ... from this girls eyes, it is not only totally cool in the process of harvesting, activating, cleaning, etc ... to watch ... but the physical and emotional benefits I have experienced with my treatments, even more with this second round, are just beyond my comprehension at times. It really is an amazing process to be a part of.

http://www.adistem.com/adiceuticals.htm

Peace and Light
et

I can't help but get excited .....

Good Evening,

I hope the link below to the most recent UCLA stem cell symposium is as enlightening to others I found it.
I can't help but get excited experiencing some of the latest progressions since my most recent treatment, #2. The feelings, sensations, happenings, and down right, factual data (BG logs/tracking) are showing even more promise for me this time around. I am sort of chocking this up to improved harvest, cleaning/bathing of the cells, and the process in general, being minimally invasive at best ... it was CLEARLY evident, and to this untrained scientific eye, that there was  obvious improvement in the process. Along with that ... the people we met on our recent trip were some of the best in the field, from Europe, the states, and some major universities ... i.e., UCLA ... southern California is a mecca of information, research, development, and hopefully, some clinical trials soon so we can get this to the people ... sooner than later. Its reach is wide range ... and the potential for improved, and perhaps ... the big C .. as in CURE!!! for so many.

http://www.stemcell.ucla.edu/news/stem-cell-scientists-discover-way-correct-mutations-human-mitochondria-rna-targeting

My outlook still holds true for me. I prefer quality over quantity, and my risks seems pretty minimal to me given what I have already overcome due to disease complications, multiple medical issues, not all being related to Type 1, but an overall immune response misfiring. It seems to be a family history trait on both paternal and maternal sides of the family. I can't help but feel I am some sort of gifted lab rat ... and I am loving the opportunity to share my experiences. As long as "quality" is available, then my quantity can only improve ... and I continue to hope that progress does not get held up any longer than it has too.

Enjoy the read .... and I hope everyone had a resurrecting day of hope and love with friends, family, and loved ones.

Enjoy the evening!!
Peace and Light
et