Good Morning ....
and a happy start to the weekend!!
Not much to report. It has been a couple of very frustrating weeks. Being alone with just the dog is not making my attempt at recovery any easier. I am have a very difficult time with organizing.... and most of all ... any sort of decision to be made. My mind wanders, it is like a major case of ADD and I don't know what to do to fix it. I have my first real psychotherapy appointment this afternoon and I don't like to be mean, or nasty, it sucks my energy away and I become even less productive. Maybe it is time (almost 6 months) for me to get angry ... and for as much as I don't want to direct it at this woman, she is getting paid a nice sum to listen to me .... and then, if she isn't ready to slap me, she can help guide me with some new tools, as the once always dependable one I used, don't seem to be doing the trick.
I have been on this B12 supplement for a month now .... along with some other brain promoting supplements and I have to tell you ... it would take dynamite up my ass to get the energy flowing!!! This too, has been exceptionally frustrating as I have found myself just saying, "can't do it" and have to lay down ..... which has turned into some long naps ..... like laying down at 5 or 6 and being out cold until the next morning. Blood sugars seem to be holding with still the occasional lows, but the tweaking of the insuling dosage has continued to remain on the downward direction. Next week I get all my labs drawn, lipids, CMP, A1c, the B12, folate and homocysteine levels. I certainly hope the "easy fix" the neurologist said this would be is true, /cause it sure doesn't feel like it.
Almost everything I touched this week broke or blew up ..... including my laptop. Frustrated, is a mild word .... I was so pissed, so livid with myself I came close to just busting into tears .... instead ... I think I went to bed on more than one night. Yesterdays trip to the dermatologist ended with no actual cuts being made as now it should be tended to by a plastic surgeon. It is so close in proximity to my actual eye, that a plastic/reconstructive surgeon is going to have to remove the spot and make me pretty. Another major irritation on my part, it couldn't be my left eye .... ??? ..... you know that one on the same side as my driving side, in which appears WAY more wrinkled than the right .... NOOOOO ..... it is right smack dab in the middle of my right lower eye lid. I am thinking I should do a documentary of my scars .... LOL ...... I am flipping covered with surgical scars, and I think I can probably give a pretty good direction of my life via these aging reminders ..... LOL ....
Anyway ... Maggie and I will be taking a little ride tomorrow .... how long I am gone depends on so many events, I want to say the day ... but then ..... anything could happen and I must be prepared in that event .... it has become almost too much to deal with just to go visit a friend. All the things I have to be prepared for in regard to making sure I have my meds, an emergency back up of insulin and all the things that go along with that ... which was second nature prior to the accident, is now just a major P.I.T.A.!!
On that note ... I am going to wish everyone a peaceful and relaxing weekend!! I do this because I feel the world moves too quickly these days .... and I think the older generation had the right idea in their manner in which they relaxed and enjoyed the outdoors, the family, etc. to dissolove lifes stressors.
Be good to yourself, be good to others!!!
Peace and Light
et
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