A great article on the adult stem cell treatment in which I will undergo again in just a month.
I am praying that this time around, my mouth holds up to support the mainstreaming of this medicine to the people who need it most. I will keep this short as it has been an incredibly stressful day in which I was sporting the sexy scent of the month .... Icy Hot!!! My head has felt like it is going to explode for most of the day, and I pulled my right shoulder out just getting dressed this morning ... needless to say ... I know my first treatment made a huge, unexpected difference in my bone and muscle pain so again, Praying for the start of a world-wide miracle. I believe in this, I believe that this has become my mission ..... and therefore, I will give of myself.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2012/2/prweb9213129.htm
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
This has to be a sign of improvement ...
g'evening wide world ....
I actually did this last night, for over an hour, and then POOF it was gone .... I found it this morning ..... Please God, let's make today a better day than the one before. I have just enough pain to keep me true. Enjoy the day, Amen.
someone is still reading this verbage I post .... does no one have an opinion, a comment, something that might peak a conversation, discussion, ... debate?? I'm just curious ... and being so empty upstairs these days, I thought I would just list a few comments, odd comments that I have managed to maintain in my head/memory/brain for rethinking later. I think .... and then in a nano-second it can be gone. I am beginning to feel like I have a permanent "deer in the headlight" look, or that look my mother use to laugh her ass off and say to me, "I can see you are thinking really hard on this one" as my mouth hung open in a vague trance. When I was biting on the end of my tongue she would say it was the "Dunnigan Deep Thought Look." (and as I gaze at that last sentence, I see that my grammar has fallen apart, or any resemblence of the English language for that matter. Again, I want to utter the words .... but even from deep within me currently, I know it isn't coming forth in the right, appropriate, confident .. ?? ... manner.
Ok ... the comments, then I have to go and practice some new breathing techniques ... something I thought I had mastered after all these years of breathing my way through situations in which I had an unknown knowledge of the plan/outcome. (wow, I feel like I am making sense, but the words .... ???)
"did you understand that?"
"relax, it was just ... " (this one has come multiple times in my jumpy responses to certain noises)
"breathe baby, I got it" (while being a passenger in another's vehicle)
"what do you mean you DIDN'T BRING ANY VALIUM!!!" (my daughter, driving my new ride home from Phoenix with me twitching, gasping and holding my breath) .....
Then there are those choice few ... much fewer than before, but they know who they are .... that find an opportunity to bust my chops in hopes I will get it. Yes, my ability to be sharp witted seems to be damgaged ... to the point I don't seem to pick up on the social cues, the tone of one's voice in which I could always know when to inflict my sarcasm ..... I feel like someone actually morphed me into Maxine!!! Things I think I am just "thinking" ... I apparently have been caught saying outloud ... the total lack of filter I think I mentioned. I know this ... yet I seem to have no control without MAJOR focus to remember and then it begins to hurt after a few hours.
I know, I know ... I try to calm myself with the breathing ... it was failing me, so I asked one of my PT therapist today what she could do ... I was actually lovin' laying with electrodes glued to my cervical area, up to the base of my skull, wrapped in heat, and being "zapped" for 20 minutes .... I can honestly say it was the first time I maintained an entirely shut down brain other than to breath and relax.... then the bell rang.
One comment that seems to be sitting from today is ... I could have laid on that thing hummin' along for a good hour or more .... ohhhhhh ..... what that heat. It was the first real easing of the tension and deep knots that have been residing in that entire area. HOPE .... that was what came to mind.
Ok ... well .... just a small window into my current world. Not my idea of fun ... but ... close the window if you can't handle it. And the last comment was a tidbit of fact that was mentioned to me today by the PT..." a good percentage of relationships fall apart after a head injury." ...... GREAT .... I can't help but think that is another strike that is going to keep me single for the remainder of time..... hahaha .....
Maggie is calling for my attention .... I think she is way more spoiled now as I have done a lot of snuggling with her lately, talking as if she could understand me .... she is just diggin' the overall body rub that I wish I was and/or could get ... and not have to dish out $100 bucks .... LOL.
Good Night to all .... be good to you!!
Peace and Light
et
I actually did this last night, for over an hour, and then POOF it was gone .... I found it this morning ..... Please God, let's make today a better day than the one before. I have just enough pain to keep me true. Enjoy the day, Amen.
someone is still reading this verbage I post .... does no one have an opinion, a comment, something that might peak a conversation, discussion, ... debate?? I'm just curious ... and being so empty upstairs these days, I thought I would just list a few comments, odd comments that I have managed to maintain in my head/memory/brain for rethinking later. I think .... and then in a nano-second it can be gone. I am beginning to feel like I have a permanent "deer in the headlight" look, or that look my mother use to laugh her ass off and say to me, "I can see you are thinking really hard on this one" as my mouth hung open in a vague trance. When I was biting on the end of my tongue she would say it was the "Dunnigan Deep Thought Look." (and as I gaze at that last sentence, I see that my grammar has fallen apart, or any resemblence of the English language for that matter. Again, I want to utter the words .... but even from deep within me currently, I know it isn't coming forth in the right, appropriate, confident .. ?? ... manner.
Ok ... the comments, then I have to go and practice some new breathing techniques ... something I thought I had mastered after all these years of breathing my way through situations in which I had an unknown knowledge of the plan/outcome. (wow, I feel like I am making sense, but the words .... ???)
"did you understand that?"
"relax, it was just ... " (this one has come multiple times in my jumpy responses to certain noises)
"breathe baby, I got it" (while being a passenger in another's vehicle)
"what do you mean you DIDN'T BRING ANY VALIUM!!!" (my daughter, driving my new ride home from Phoenix with me twitching, gasping and holding my breath) .....
Then there are those choice few ... much fewer than before, but they know who they are .... that find an opportunity to bust my chops in hopes I will get it. Yes, my ability to be sharp witted seems to be damgaged ... to the point I don't seem to pick up on the social cues, the tone of one's voice in which I could always know when to inflict my sarcasm ..... I feel like someone actually morphed me into Maxine!!! Things I think I am just "thinking" ... I apparently have been caught saying outloud ... the total lack of filter I think I mentioned. I know this ... yet I seem to have no control without MAJOR focus to remember and then it begins to hurt after a few hours.
I know, I know ... I try to calm myself with the breathing ... it was failing me, so I asked one of my PT therapist today what she could do ... I was actually lovin' laying with electrodes glued to my cervical area, up to the base of my skull, wrapped in heat, and being "zapped" for 20 minutes .... I can honestly say it was the first time I maintained an entirely shut down brain other than to breath and relax.... then the bell rang.
One comment that seems to be sitting from today is ... I could have laid on that thing hummin' along for a good hour or more .... ohhhhhh ..... what that heat. It was the first real easing of the tension and deep knots that have been residing in that entire area. HOPE .... that was what came to mind.
Ok ... well .... just a small window into my current world. Not my idea of fun ... but ... close the window if you can't handle it. And the last comment was a tidbit of fact that was mentioned to me today by the PT..." a good percentage of relationships fall apart after a head injury." ...... GREAT .... I can't help but think that is another strike that is going to keep me single for the remainder of time..... hahaha .....
Maggie is calling for my attention .... I think she is way more spoiled now as I have done a lot of snuggling with her lately, talking as if she could understand me .... she is just diggin' the overall body rub that I wish I was and/or could get ... and not have to dish out $100 bucks .... LOL.
Good Night to all .... be good to you!!
Peace and Light
et
Friday, February 17, 2012
Call it what you will
Hey WWW ... and those who check in to see what new chaos is happening.
I might as well ramble here, no one else listens to me and it has been primarily Maggie and I, for what seems like forever. Every time I come close to uttering the words "I think I am getting better" .... someone shoots me this odd look and cracks out "maybe a wee bit." WTF ..... seems to have become my mantra on a daily basis, for so many reasons. This post will pretty much give you an idea of how flighty I can be, and I just want you all to know, that this is so beyond frustrating for me, I can only imagine how I am irritating those who have to come in contact with me, with the exception of the staff at the physical therapy place. I can only put a name to, I am thinking only 2 staff members .... the 2 I deal with a majority of the time. However, every time I come through the door the place starts smiling and laughing. On Weds afternoon, HT came with me so we could review the MRIs with the "land therapist", who is also my main gal. Come to find out, I could be the mother to more than half the staff, yet ..... and this flipping makes me laugh ..... and laughing has been a rarity since the accident. ...... lots of dead air space that just hits .... in the middle of a decent thought. I feel very empty, the inside of my head scattered, scrambled, and often times pounding to the point of feeling like it has legs. The feeling of the "ice pick" holding my head on at the base of my skull is a constant ache, and as I become more focused (or attempting), the slightest thing, that never bothered me prior, distracts me, I have no filter ........ which could really go up someones .... knowing how blunt and straightforward I can be on a normal basis ... I am just overall frustrated. Not being able to work a full day, .... I can't begin to thank those that I don't know at work who have donated PTO so that I can get paid my full wages .... that can't go on forever. I feel like I have been tested and tested again, and yet ... still lost. I have to undergo an EMG .... I had one of these done years ago mid 90s ..... I am not looking forward to it on any level, including results. I am trying to arrange another stem cell treatment .... but am trying to let some natural healing take place .... not only that $$$$$$ is beyond tight. I am behind on most everything....... something my mom would say ... "Robbing Peter, to pay Paul." ..... I'm not feeling my usual charming self. I have been told that there are PTSD symptoms present .... NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!! .... along with trying to get over and cope with my new-found fears since the accident, has brought up some pretty vivid stuff from my past......... being older now ... I have, a small edge .... if I can just dig deep enough to remember where I placed it.
I was very prepared for change in 2012 ..... but this isn't quite what I had in mind..... and currently .... I should probably go to bed .... I can't determine what hurts more after my PT, which I showed up an hour late for, and then waited around town for 2 hours so I did some errands .... can't tell you what right now .... oh well .... now that you are all shaking your heads too, I am going to cover my aching ankle, knee, neck and lumbar spine with as much heat/ice as possible ... if nothing else, Maggie and I will no doubt breathe and sleep pretty clear tonight. To all you male readers ..... How sexy is that!!! ..... LOL ..... It's is about the only thing that HT and I have laughed about in recent weeks. This change from the accident on so many levels has put a real strain on our relationship ..... there are a LOT of raw emotions flowing and it is just another leg of my journey ... HOWEVER, ..... I do believe that this might be my last leg .... how many lives can one person have??? I have been told, I am a tough chick, have more lives than a cat, the shelf life of a Twinkie .... WTF does that mean???? My sharp humor took a hard hit, now I feel like I should dye my hair blonde and just go with it ..... I'm in here ... and I WANT OUT!!!! My brain was the only thing I felt I had left going for me, and I enjoyed and love using it .... clearly and focused .... not always adult, and with my humor ... everything about me is off and I am trying to stay positive, but the pain on so many levels is often hard to take ... I just want to sleep until my brain and my body feel rejuvenated, regenerated ... and that is where another stemmie treatment will come in some MASSIVE ......(sitting here with my mouth open)
I'm done ....
I hope that this rambling finds those who visit happy and healthy.
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!!!
Peace and Light
et
I might as well ramble here, no one else listens to me and it has been primarily Maggie and I, for what seems like forever. Every time I come close to uttering the words "I think I am getting better" .... someone shoots me this odd look and cracks out "maybe a wee bit." WTF ..... seems to have become my mantra on a daily basis, for so many reasons. This post will pretty much give you an idea of how flighty I can be, and I just want you all to know, that this is so beyond frustrating for me, I can only imagine how I am irritating those who have to come in contact with me, with the exception of the staff at the physical therapy place. I can only put a name to, I am thinking only 2 staff members .... the 2 I deal with a majority of the time. However, every time I come through the door the place starts smiling and laughing. On Weds afternoon, HT came with me so we could review the MRIs with the "land therapist", who is also my main gal. Come to find out, I could be the mother to more than half the staff, yet ..... and this flipping makes me laugh ..... and laughing has been a rarity since the accident. ...... lots of dead air space that just hits .... in the middle of a decent thought. I feel very empty, the inside of my head scattered, scrambled, and often times pounding to the point of feeling like it has legs. The feeling of the "ice pick" holding my head on at the base of my skull is a constant ache, and as I become more focused (or attempting), the slightest thing, that never bothered me prior, distracts me, I have no filter ........ which could really go up someones .... knowing how blunt and straightforward I can be on a normal basis ... I am just overall frustrated. Not being able to work a full day, .... I can't begin to thank those that I don't know at work who have donated PTO so that I can get paid my full wages .... that can't go on forever. I feel like I have been tested and tested again, and yet ... still lost. I have to undergo an EMG .... I had one of these done years ago mid 90s ..... I am not looking forward to it on any level, including results. I am trying to arrange another stem cell treatment .... but am trying to let some natural healing take place .... not only that $$$$$$ is beyond tight. I am behind on most everything....... something my mom would say ... "Robbing Peter, to pay Paul." ..... I'm not feeling my usual charming self. I have been told that there are PTSD symptoms present .... NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!! .... along with trying to get over and cope with my new-found fears since the accident, has brought up some pretty vivid stuff from my past......... being older now ... I have, a small edge .... if I can just dig deep enough to remember where I placed it.
I was very prepared for change in 2012 ..... but this isn't quite what I had in mind..... and currently .... I should probably go to bed .... I can't determine what hurts more after my PT, which I showed up an hour late for, and then waited around town for 2 hours so I did some errands .... can't tell you what right now .... oh well .... now that you are all shaking your heads too, I am going to cover my aching ankle, knee, neck and lumbar spine with as much heat/ice as possible ... if nothing else, Maggie and I will no doubt breathe and sleep pretty clear tonight. To all you male readers ..... How sexy is that!!! ..... LOL ..... It's is about the only thing that HT and I have laughed about in recent weeks. This change from the accident on so many levels has put a real strain on our relationship ..... there are a LOT of raw emotions flowing and it is just another leg of my journey ... HOWEVER, ..... I do believe that this might be my last leg .... how many lives can one person have??? I have been told, I am a tough chick, have more lives than a cat, the shelf life of a Twinkie .... WTF does that mean???? My sharp humor took a hard hit, now I feel like I should dye my hair blonde and just go with it ..... I'm in here ... and I WANT OUT!!!! My brain was the only thing I felt I had left going for me, and I enjoyed and love using it .... clearly and focused .... not always adult, and with my humor ... everything about me is off and I am trying to stay positive, but the pain on so many levels is often hard to take ... I just want to sleep until my brain and my body feel rejuvenated, regenerated ... and that is where another stemmie treatment will come in some MASSIVE ......(sitting here with my mouth open)
I'm done ....
I hope that this rambling finds those who visit happy and healthy.
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!!!
Peace and Light
et
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A good discussion topic for the US
http://www.sacbee.com/2012/02/12/4255184/these-cells-could-save-lives-but.html
I'm sure there are many other topics we could discuss as well this morning.
Have a good day, be good to yourself, be good to each other!!!
Peace and Light
et
I'm sure there are many other topics we could discuss as well this morning.
Have a good day, be good to yourself, be good to each other!!!
Peace and Light
et
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Generous Donation
Hi Everyone ....
Too much to say, not enough attention and/or drive to stay on track to get it out.
The following link is to an inspiring notation on a very generous donation. If I had access to large monetary availability I would do stuff like this. My wish is to one day start a foundation in which I could help bring stem cell treatments to those of us "common folk" who in deed keep this country going on so many levels. An amazing, self-less gesture to help the greater good of mankind.
I had another thought I wanted to share .... but after sitting here for five minutes trying to recall it I am at a loss, it left as fast as it came into sight. I MAJOR issue these days.
http://pacificpalisades.patch.com/articles/ucla-receives-1m-gift-for-stem-cell-symposium
I hope this posting finds everyone healthy, and still grounded to what is ultimately comforting for oneself.
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!
Peace, Light, and Serenity!!!
et
Too much to say, not enough attention and/or drive to stay on track to get it out.
The following link is to an inspiring notation on a very generous donation. If I had access to large monetary availability I would do stuff like this. My wish is to one day start a foundation in which I could help bring stem cell treatments to those of us "common folk" who in deed keep this country going on so many levels. An amazing, self-less gesture to help the greater good of mankind.
I had another thought I wanted to share .... but after sitting here for five minutes trying to recall it I am at a loss, it left as fast as it came into sight. I MAJOR issue these days.
http://pacificpalisades.patch.com/articles/ucla-receives-1m-gift-for-stem-cell-symposium
I hope this posting finds everyone healthy, and still grounded to what is ultimately comforting for oneself.
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!
Peace, Light, and Serenity!!!
et
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Type 1 Stem cell article
http://www.doctortipster.com/7239-type-1-diabetes-can-be-reversed-using-stem-cell-educator-therapy-according-to-new-study.html
Stemmies ..... Please ..... Please .....
Stemmies ..... Please ..... Please .....
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I'm sorry I have neglected you
Hey to All!!
I'm sorry for the lack of posting. My head/brain/memory, among many other areas, i.e., my knee, most of my right side, and my lack of balance and vision issues has kept me down and frustrated and I am being forced to listen to my body which has been "badly injured." No shit Sherlock!!!
I can't keep my thoughts flowing freely enough to make an intelligent post, therefor, I will not really be posting unless something slaps me right in the face and then I will share. I am in physical therapy 3 times a week and trying to work, neither is working out so well with other decisions and looking for something that I have no clue where it landed prior to the graduation and where we spread out the remains of stuff that still needs to be mailed off to the siblings.
I hope that everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations .... I am pretty sure I was heavily sedated and slept though most if not all of the festivities.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and healthy and safe 2012!!!
I hope to be back "with it" soon, Hoping for another shot at the stem cell treatment ...
Peace and Light to all!!
et
I'm sorry for the lack of posting. My head/brain/memory, among many other areas, i.e., my knee, most of my right side, and my lack of balance and vision issues has kept me down and frustrated and I am being forced to listen to my body which has been "badly injured." No shit Sherlock!!!
I can't keep my thoughts flowing freely enough to make an intelligent post, therefor, I will not really be posting unless something slaps me right in the face and then I will share. I am in physical therapy 3 times a week and trying to work, neither is working out so well with other decisions and looking for something that I have no clue where it landed prior to the graduation and where we spread out the remains of stuff that still needs to be mailed off to the siblings.
I hope that everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations .... I am pretty sure I was heavily sedated and slept though most if not all of the festivities.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and healthy and safe 2012!!!
I hope to be back "with it" soon, Hoping for another shot at the stem cell treatment ...
Peace and Light to all!!
et
Monday, January 2, 2012
Uncharted territory
Hi Everyone!!!
I hope this post finds everyone feeling pretty good this day after new years .... hehehe .... I didn't even make it to 8:00pm so I am no party animal anymore.
I am having a very difficult time trying to deal with these latest issues which presented with the accident. I am supposed to attempt to go back to work tomorrow, along with the already existing BS at work, and a dumb thing I did while under the influence of pain meds and muscle relaxants, I will no doubt have a verbal warning placed on me .... yet another hypercritical call by the HR OZ. Funny I can be reprimanded for a mistake (in which someone accidentally got an email which was meant for someone else .... and it happen to be to a work email). So it would seem that the "F" bomb I laid out in print is going to get my hand slapped, yet it is ok for "rent-a-docs" can shoot off derogatory emails to the support staff and NEVER be required to apologize for personal attacks on the very people who support them. I don't really see much difference here. I guess the bad behavior is only overlooked if you are ..... gee, I don't know .... special ass kissers. Never been part of who I am or how I play the game of life. Don't ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer you may get.
Anyway .... I went into town this morning .... 3rd time behind the wheel since getting a rental on Thursday. I am not liking it so much. I get extremely anxious and sick to my stomach. I can't be traveling 30 minutes to and from work holding my breath, which seemed to be what was happening. I know if I don't do it, I will never get back to the me I was prior to the accident. My short-term memory is still on the short side, being asked twice in 2 different stores if I was alright, or "can I help you find something?" When in actuality, I just had a major brain cramp in which I completely forget what I was looking for, or where I was going. I know that the repetitiveness will help me overcome this, but I cannot begin to tell you all how frustrating I am finding this state of being. I feel like my humor cells have been sucked out of me and all I am left with is this empty, blank-faced, slightly paranoid, exceptionally anxious woman with no funny bone left.
I will set up the neuro consult tomorrow, confirm when my ortho appointment is and consider the PT for 8 weeks. I am in no financial position to take on any extra medical expenses right off the bat with what fell over from last year. I am petrified of what my future may hold .... I am getting a little old to have to start all over .... again.
I wish everyone a great week!!
Peace and Light
et
I hope this post finds everyone feeling pretty good this day after new years .... hehehe .... I didn't even make it to 8:00pm so I am no party animal anymore.
I am having a very difficult time trying to deal with these latest issues which presented with the accident. I am supposed to attempt to go back to work tomorrow, along with the already existing BS at work, and a dumb thing I did while under the influence of pain meds and muscle relaxants, I will no doubt have a verbal warning placed on me .... yet another hypercritical call by the HR OZ. Funny I can be reprimanded for a mistake (in which someone accidentally got an email which was meant for someone else .... and it happen to be to a work email). So it would seem that the "F" bomb I laid out in print is going to get my hand slapped, yet it is ok for "rent-a-docs" can shoot off derogatory emails to the support staff and NEVER be required to apologize for personal attacks on the very people who support them. I don't really see much difference here. I guess the bad behavior is only overlooked if you are ..... gee, I don't know .... special ass kissers. Never been part of who I am or how I play the game of life. Don't ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer you may get.
Anyway .... I went into town this morning .... 3rd time behind the wheel since getting a rental on Thursday. I am not liking it so much. I get extremely anxious and sick to my stomach. I can't be traveling 30 minutes to and from work holding my breath, which seemed to be what was happening. I know if I don't do it, I will never get back to the me I was prior to the accident. My short-term memory is still on the short side, being asked twice in 2 different stores if I was alright, or "can I help you find something?" When in actuality, I just had a major brain cramp in which I completely forget what I was looking for, or where I was going. I know that the repetitiveness will help me overcome this, but I cannot begin to tell you all how frustrating I am finding this state of being. I feel like my humor cells have been sucked out of me and all I am left with is this empty, blank-faced, slightly paranoid, exceptionally anxious woman with no funny bone left.
I will set up the neuro consult tomorrow, confirm when my ortho appointment is and consider the PT for 8 weeks. I am in no financial position to take on any extra medical expenses right off the bat with what fell over from last year. I am petrified of what my future may hold .... I am getting a little old to have to start all over .... again.
I wish everyone a great week!!
Peace and Light
et
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)