HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

for those that actually get into the whole thing.....lol .... not me so much.
Hilly went over to help my dad disperse the cavity eating treats and so that he doesn't have to try and get up and down repeatedly for he is not doing that well, yet INSISTS on the handing out of candy for the kids. For me, it works well because where I live, although a neighborhood, most of the town kids go to this big tailgating bash from 6-9 and they actually try and curb the older kids from going out. Not like it use to be .... but then again, what is??

Well ... time is flying by and I have no idea what to think about the upcoming benefit dinner other then .... certain people have taken my cause and run with it, and to me that is extremely overwhelming. At times, it is like I stop breathing the feelings are so overwhelming. I know ... this is really not the direction I should be thinking in. It is just an indescribable overwhelming feeling for a girl who for the most part, has not been a big fan of asking for help when needed but to plow through the issue at hand and move on. It would appear, that this issue, will not go away on my own wishful thinking. I need the help of those around me.

On Friday, I ventured to Phoenix for my usual 3 month check in with my endocrinologist. I knew things weren't looking good. I have the software from my pump to prove it and I, of course have her look at the print outs. Her office also downloads the info from my pump on appointment day so that too, gets the overall big picture. She was concerned to say the least. Told me we needed to "kick the dog up a notch," as Maggie isn't notifying me as to lows until I show signs, which often times is ALWAYS under 40. She reviews the logs .... 26, 32, 36, 34 28, and 36 were the half-dozen lows I have had in the past 3 weeks alone. Mind you ... these numbers on the norm would constitute emergency intervention. She told me, (like I was not already aware of this fact) that these are extremely dangerous lows and that the dog needed to be kicked up a notch in her newly acquired detection skills. Well ... I can't expect the dog to do something from nothing ... there are NO SIGNS until I get this low ... I am fine and then BOOM!!! Maggie has however woken me on a couple of these occasions that I can recall and what I find odd is that she follows/guides me to the kitchen and then sits and watches me as if she knows that the juice is next, lets get on it!! On the other end of the log was 589, 562, 549 and a few 400s after pushing my system with a steroid shot on a Thursday, a flu shot on Monday and then having a tissue issue with my pump site which was sending me into "nuts" mode as I was incredibly frustrated in my inability to get it back down into normal range until I changed out my pump site .... again. That can run into some money ... which I am low on as far as my living expense go. Fund money ... if FUND money and that is it!!! and we are not even remotely close at hitting my goal yet.

In any event, we reviewed my lab work.... all looked good for the most part and we both know how I got the A1c reading we did and it was the lows ... which is no way, in my opinion to achieve that reading. My kidneys function at a "remarkably normal level" which is a good thing given I just had my 38 year anniversary of living with Type I in early October. The kidney function is an important factor at this time in my live for me and the whole denial of partaking in the trial was apparently meant to be, being told yet again that antirejection drugs will kill off kidney function in a relatively short amount of time. In come the Stemmies .... we discussed the procedure, which Dr. C. P. is totally behind me on. Apparently, the fact that the treatment is not available here in the US and that she belongs to a large group of doctors, she asked me not to "advertise" her support publicly. She did, however, tell me that she expects approximately 2 weeks before we see any sort of changes, I bet a week. I then reminded her that even she has stated, "you never seem to do anyting text book." For many of the providers I have encountered over the years, a good percentage of them are amazed I still have some area of my body that appear to respond well to treatments, like my bones, and that I continue to prove science wrong in my understanding of my body, my disease. We also put a plan in place for when the treatment gets scheduled, and when I return to the states I am to meet with her in Phoenix prior to my return up the mountain to Prescott. Monitoring will become even more intense for a while and I may actually have to put a schedule of sorts into play. Something I don't really do other than wake up time, and bed time currently. Work will have to be a scheduled operation with no more letting lunches slide until a project is done, but when it is actually called for. It all sounded good .... but I still feel like crap. I am tired from the fairly constant up and downs with no real reason most times.

I am going to make a difference ..... and when it works for me, in spite of having ot perhaps undergo the treatment again, I am a firm believer that this is the closest we have currently and our best prospect to cure!!!! I have people watching me, waiting to see results, and if I show results, they are on board to have the treatment done as well. The questionable part currently for my doctor is the length of time I have had Type I.... but she too, believes it shows great promise and with better results thus far than treatments being offered here in the states.

Holding on to my faith, knowledge and continued prayers of those who are involved and "want" me around ..... I can't disappoint, I must give it my all and all fight.

Be well everyone as the holiday season comes upon us .... Thankful is something I truly am!!!

Peace and Light
et

Hello Folks

It's October .... Dad turned 80 on the 5th. It will be two years since I lost my mom two years ago on the 27th. I can't believe it has been two years, and not a day goes by I don't miss her humor, intelligence, and good spirit. Not to mention, I think she would be so proud of what I am trying to accomplish in education, and the whole stem cell procedure. I just know she is with me in some form as I make this journey forward.

I flew to Cleveland in September for a whirlwind 3 day trip to attend my cousin's funeral service. The trip was a lot for my body to do in the short time span. I was totally exhausted for the following week. the visit, in spite of the circumstances was a rewarding experience.

Then I was back at the orthopedist two weeks ago. I think I am the only person I know who dates their orthopedist for over a year. My fracture continues to heal with good bone growth, but still swells at the end of the day, or being on it for any length of time can cause pain. Plug on .... then he injected my wrist again..... which involves the steroid factor. We all know that steroids blow blood sugar control out the window, which in turn causes the physical stress. On top of the steroid stress, 3 days later I got my flu shot. Didn't take but a couple of hours before I started with the stiff neck, achy body, etc. Then ... for the next 3 days it was up and down like a flippin' yo-yo. I was up one night with a 26 blood sugar, much thanks to Ms. Maggie. She is amazing in this respect, gets better with every occurrence, which I would really like to be relieved from. (If I was a dog, I too, would want a break). She is a wonderful animal. She is with me every moment I am with her. She seems to be catching on to the fact that Momma needs her help, and we can play too.

It has been a not so great week.... at least I think it's been a week, maybe two. There was the 26 low, with rebound that wipes me out before I even get up to get ready for work. Then after the flu shot, I was up in the 500s for a day and a half. In part, I believe, to the combination of the 2 shots, and a tissue issue with my pump. It took it's toll with me coming home from work yesterday after putting in 2 hours. Work has been stressful for me, I am overwhelmed in the work that needs to be done and no one helping me get it done for several months now since the firing of the other coder. I find it very difficult to get much else done. I am so exhausted physically that my mind shuts off at 5-o'clock. I can't possibly focus on continuing my education at the moment with everything that is going on. My house is in dire need of overhaul, yard to be cleaned up, windows to be winterized. It is overwhelming at best. Then there is the upcoming fundraising dinner which has me feeling an uncertain amount of anxiety. I know I can do this intelligently and with a sort of humor, I seem to be pretty good in that department. I am a little disappointed that with all the interest that has been peaked, not more donations are coming in. I am hoping that the exposure from the dinner will help in that department. I had a dream last weekend, more like a nightmare, really got me to thinking. After a google search of the nasty topic, it was stated that dreams of this nature usually reflect an internal anxiety, a sense of self-esteem that needs to be addressed (this is where I hear my mom helping me cope and get through a difficult situation), and then that in some cultures in represents a financial increase...... thus, my dad purchased tonight's Powerball tickets and gave them to me. Not sure I will hold my breath, but the thought was there.

Well, fall is upon us here in Arizona. It is pretty chilly here this evening. The days start out cold, warm up a little bit, and end dark and cold again. I took some time off the week of the dinner. The 11th is Veteran's Day, so I'm off, I then am taking that Friday and the following Monday. I really need some time, a couple of weeks would be nicer, but I will do my very best to focus and get some things done that need my attention. I will have a couple of days to recoup from the dinner excitement. I am going to try and have someone, other than the hopeful news coverage video tape the speeches. I really do hope to promote the science. I think being an election time, that leads me to believe that people are keeping the focus on that legalization of marijuana for medical reasons, and there is no room for stem cell talk. I could be wrong, but I am going to make it known that this is where the future is and if the US wants to regain the status of health care status, the better get their shit together. Sorry, I get so pumped up on this subject, not just for diabetics, but for anyone suffering from debilitating disease.

I was saddened to hear that KW, the woman I met here that underwent the islet cell transplant is back on insulin. I can only imagine the devastating disappointment that must have brought to her. It sort of put into perspective my feelings on my rejection from the islet trial, and the saying that all things happen for a reason. Still, I am saddened for her and the acceptance of such news and the spirit to continue on with a new goal. I hope and pray that she continues in her research and knows that she made huge strides in the future of the type one community. The knowledge that people who have undergone the islet cell transplant are heroes in my eyes!!! I hope to prove that the stem cell treatment is worthy of being done here in the US and without all the embryonic BS that politics is shooting at the people in what I feel is a propaganda campaign. Why not??? The pharmaceuticals have so much more to gain, and what better way to thin out the population than by denying treatment that works for pharmaceuticals that people on fixed incomes can't afford to start with, never mind on a monthly basis. Medication ...... food and shelter????

How would you play out a hand like that???
Something to think about.

Maggie and I are off to bed.
Sleep well my loyal supporters.

Peace and Light
et

Help me, pave the way to help others!!!

Stuggling to keep my composure

How totally overwhelming are the feelings I am faced with. I can't begin to express my feelings for the overwhelming joy I have for those that have stepped up on my behalf. People I have yet to meet face-to-face, but am overwhelmed with so many feelings and hope to keep my composure in expressing my joy and continued hope for the future. My continued hope that I can pave the way for future hope in the treatment of so many people looking to me for hope. Please stay tuned for some positive outcomes for so many.

With love, gratitude and continued prayers!!
et

Mark your calenders !!!

Hello to everyone!!

I would like to share with everyone the latest activity.

On Saturday night, November 13,2010 there will be a "New England Fish Fry" to be held for my benefit in obtaining funds for my stem cell treatment. A friend, co-worker, and local member of the Eagles here in Prescott has taken my cause to heart and pulled in all his connections to help pull this evening off. I don't know how to thank all these people for their giving generousity on my behalf. Dinner will be from 4-9 with wine tasting from 4-5, dinner to begin at 6. We will have a key note speaker, a doctor recently relocated to the Prescott area who has stem cell knowledge and the potential for such a science. I also will be speaking, not at all nervous about this little chat, but ... have a few weeks to work on my speech. Hillary will be appearing with me, if for nothing more than to hold me up while I try to tell my story in a short, nonboring manner. I have so many people, strangers for the most part, have come to the front in support of my mission, and seem to be very touched, and genuine in thier interest and promotion of my cause. I just know that deep down, this is going to be a fabulous event!!! For not only my quest, but for those who will be following and see (hopefully praying) the results of such a treatment.

Tickets are being printed up by the Eagles, they will be available at various locations, at the Eagles, hopefully through people at the clinic, at YRMC, through the news paper, which will be contacted again this week to get this off and running, as well as talk of radio promo. If we can get a TV crew up here, a couple of people are trying to secure this as well. I am finding this all so very overwhelming, so humbling, it is an experience I have never felt before, may never feel again, and really do want to see people helped by what I am trying to promote. So many factors coming into play that it is often time very emotional for me these days.

Tickets are $25/person to include: Lobster bisque; New England Clam "Chowda", specially battered cod; slaw; wine, dessert and a baked goods table, as well as the quilt raffle which will most likely go that night. There will be a bar available, and some accoustic music too! It is pulling together to be a wonderful event with so much being donated by various local restaurants, winery, and man-power. I don't know how I can ever thank all these people for the generousity for a person they have never met and are going strictly on the words of my friend and fellow clinic employee Jon C. This man has been so very generous and yet, doen't feel like any sort of hero, he "just want to help." Again, God is very good to me in so many ways.

So Please, spread the word, plan to attend if you can. Come share in my journey, my emotions, and my hope!!!

Thank you all for your continued support. I will post more info and graphics as they become available.

Peace and Light
et

Weird dreams

Good evening everyone!!

I hope this little note finds everyone well and into the fall weather, even if it might be a little damp in some areas.

In spite of some very weird dreams I have had recently, the fundraising isn't quite kicking off as I had hoped. Although I know that I am touching people and opening minds in the aspect of the science, and what it can do not just for me, but many others. I political strong hold that is being held on doctors who are and have the potential to go so far but can't due to that tight rope around their necks. I am beginning to feel like I live in a communist country. I know this is not only my outlook recently having spoken with many strangers about what they are dealing with. As I sit her with my blood sugar hopefully on the rise from 42, bottomed out from 195 less than an hour ago .... ?? This is getting so old I can't begin to describe it, other than I can't focus, am totally exhausted at this moment, and still have a tape to complete for my home doctor (home job with side work) that is due by morning. I am thinking I am going to lay down for a few hours and then just get up, do it, and maybe go back to bed. Which of course, has already messed up my Saturday with so much yard work and interior work I want done, with little to no help from my so-called co-owner, housemate, whatever, child of mine.

OK ... I will tell you about the dreams later. I need to go lay down. Sorry ....

Be well everyone!!!
Peace and Light
et