Hi to All my WWW fans!!
Again, I will apoligize for my far and few between posts.
As I begin my 49th year of life .. lol ... yes, I was given another year last week as Lady Liberty celebrated, so did I. The comparisons between where I was a year ago and where I am now, on so many life levels ... is almost a daunting thought.
Last year .... I had a decent job, making decent money, I was content, for the most part, I dealt with the passing of my dad and the sibling chaos that followed. Became an only child ... LOL ... my health seemed to be on the upswing, in spite of a few speed bumps, and I was not as uptight about making sure my bills and such were all paid. Yes, I was no princess, not wealthy by most standards ... but I was content and happy about looking forward to what 2012 would bring me.
Today .... last week, I turned 49 ... this is the 4th birthday that came and went without my mother. Since her passing in 2008, I guess I have been running on auto pilot. Some would say I was running on AP for long before that date. In 2009, I started this blog, applied, tested, and was rejected from the NIH trial for islet transplant. Plowed on & over the disappointment to find my friends at Stem Genex and underwent my first adult stem cell treatment. AMAZING results got me to spouting off results and the oh-so-many added benefits I acquired from treatment. Since this past December, I was involved in the head-on collision, lost my new car, a good portion of my memory, on the short-term level, I have lost my decent job, decent pay, a couple of pissed off lymph nodes were removed, I am still weeding through 80 years of my parents belongings ... most all of it to be shipped somewhere else, and doing a lot of personal cleaning and disposing. My daughter became an RN, can't find a job in this area ... I acquired a hell of a case of depression .... imagine that!!!! Along with a level of physical pain which I thought I handled very well, given circumstances. I am still waiting on a settlement of some sort, while being told to concentrate on my recovery, and still under the care of multiple doctors for such. Yet .... this just blows me away .... the added stresses of not knowing where, when, how .... no one can tell me if I will ever recover from the entire effects that have landed on me. It has taken me months to come to grips with the fact that I have no real control over this particular situation and to allow the attorney to take care of all the legal stuff while I try and figure out how to fill out a multitude of forms for multiple organizations/collectors/doctors, etc ... I am not a big fan of relinquishing my control ... LOL ... and most of all of this stress and frustrations has in some manner effected my insulin intake, blood sugars, my teeth ... OMG ... my teeth. I had a couple of teeth chipped in the accident, as well as some pain involving the grinding of them in my sleep, and have not yet had them restored ... well .... it takes money ... and I have not, until recently had ANY $$$ coming in with the exception of some help from a friends. Without these friends, who have supported me on so many aspects of this happening, emotionally, spiritually, physically and yes ... monetarily as well. They are one of my most special blessings!! There is MUCH stressful topics to be had ... yet out of my control. It is very difficult, as I am sure so many can relate, to not stress given the economy. Along with all those reality issues .. I have the effects of all of this on my body ...
With all that ... my memory is still foggy on many levels, I confuse easily, especially if I am tired. I got these new super lenses ... lol ... I refer to them as my Mr. Magoo glasses. I can FINALLY see straight and it took 8 months for a doctor to tell me I was not crazy and there was a clear vision problem due to the accident. My new glasses are working well. I have had them since Friday ... I still am having a bit of issue in getting use to them as they are heavy on the bridge of my nose, and I am doing the exersizes told to do in order to make the vision "clear" .... which at times calls for some crossing ... it can be nauseating, and headache producing. But ... each day seems to get a little easier ... can't drive in them yet ... LOL ... I tried and it was like being on a really bad carnival ride!!! I can feel the changes happening in life ... some good, some not so much ... but for today, I was given the gift and I will utilize it to the best of my ability.
I am beginning to wander, and my face and head hurt again ... I have had no choice but to let my body direct me lately ... therefore, when it screams .... I listen!!! Regardless of how friends or HT may be hurt or disappointed by my inability to play (as in life by "normal" standars). I thank all for the support and encouragement as this has not been an easy leg of the journey .... and I feel very alone at times .... some folks have had a difficult time trying to relate to the changes in me ... I am still in here ... just a little slow on the uptake .... and when lost, most times I just sit quietly and try not to worry what was just said, or think about it too hard ... remains very frustrating for me, I can only imagine how those around me feel...??????
I will do my best to improve my postings, but in reality ... my focus isn't what it was and I distract sort of easily at times..... most times. Even though I feel I am making progress ... changes are occuring, and I am trying to be more aware .... but it seems to be an awareness of a higher caliber ....
Thanks for reading my continued rambles .... I hope to try and undergo my 3rd treatment by the end of this year .... I know, seems close, but I need to re-establish ... regenerate so many levels of my makeup ... hehehe .... I know there have been some high quality improvements with this past treatment, done right here in California, that I am confident that together .... we will gain the upper hand. Stem Genex has added some other videos of patient statements, and I am SO HAPPY to say I have met several of these people and the amazing stories they have to share on the changes and improvements they have experienced ... you can check them out on YouTube-StemGenex..... of course, you can find me out there as well!!! I was in the midst of my head injury issues when this was taped, and despite that, I hope I came across somewhat intelligently ... hehehe ... there were times when my thoughts just .... poof ... gone!!! Life is a game ... and I am still trying to play at a competative level. (I have to laugh, or I will cry).
Be well ... Be good to each other, Be good to yourself!!
Peace and Light
et
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