Hey all !!
just a quicky as I am really tired tonight, been up since 4 AM. Doing overtime again, unrealastic expectations on so many levels. Anyway ... I have been incredibly itchy for a little over a week, come to find out it is part of the healing process. With the skin being the largest organ in the body, this would explain a lot. So with that being said, I am going to head off to bed with my big ol' water bottle.
Spring has finally arrived here in Northern AZ and it has been beautiful!!
I hope to retain enough energy to get some outside work done this weekend, which is unlikely as I have to drive to Phoenix on Saturday monring for a class from 9-Noon, meaning I have to leave the house by 6:00-30 tops to make it on time..... it is suppose to hit high 90's which makes for a long travel day. Which leaves Sunday for recoup ... maybe some indoor work.
Off to lala land .... sweet dreams all!!!
Peace and Light
et
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Dysfunction update ...
NEWS FLASH!!! ... I am an only child ... It would appear all those stories they do on siblings / families falling apart after the death of the more prominent parent is so totally true. That when someone important dies, the idiot mentality kicks in. However, I think the idiot, emotionally retarded mentality has been in play all along.
Well ... it just hit the fan!!! and yes, I responded from the hip, and the heart, enough. Not one of my 5 siblings, only 3 or 4 of them capable to do anything, but ALL could have done something .... I don't need this sort of negativity in my life, which was one of the main reasons Hillary and I moved out of the house we had originally bought here in AZ. My father's negativity toward EVERYTHING life has to offer, and his constant whining, oh I got this, and I got that, always has it worse then you, or anyone else for that matter. NOT ONE, from my father, down to all of my brothers in the past 2 years, has made any sort of monetary contribution to me getting treatment and saving my life, which is fine, lots of people couldn't do monetary contributions, HOWEVER, NOT ONE of my own siblings ever even made or voiced a "sentiment" which would have meant the world.
So from this point forward, and oh, this too, will make a great chapter in the book, it is pretty clear where I stand, and I can and will honestly say, that there is not one of my brothers that knows who I am, where I came from, what drives me, and what I DID learn from the mother who thought she had done better, with little to no help from the man that was suppose to be her husband, turned out to be just as big a baby as her children.
OH MY GOD .... my head feels like it is going to explode ... but at least I can say that I have been preparing for this sort of explosion, and its outcome, and I am so much more than ready to move on with my own, serene existence without any siblings as I have the love, respect, and emotional outlet of friends, and distant family who are not afraid to show their emotions and speak openly and honestly.
To those who fall into that category, THANKS are not enough ... you have no idea how much I appreciate people who can talk, discuss, disagree, and still love each other on the other side. It isn't always about who is right, and who is wrong....
another one of those flipping situations in the universe that just doesn't explain it openly and clearly for those who can't see past their own nose .... LOL ...
Am off to try and de-stress ..... I know ... banging my head on the wall is not advised. :D
Peace ... and more important ... LOVE to all!!
et
Well ... it just hit the fan!!! and yes, I responded from the hip, and the heart, enough. Not one of my 5 siblings, only 3 or 4 of them capable to do anything, but ALL could have done something .... I don't need this sort of negativity in my life, which was one of the main reasons Hillary and I moved out of the house we had originally bought here in AZ. My father's negativity toward EVERYTHING life has to offer, and his constant whining, oh I got this, and I got that, always has it worse then you, or anyone else for that matter. NOT ONE, from my father, down to all of my brothers in the past 2 years, has made any sort of monetary contribution to me getting treatment and saving my life, which is fine, lots of people couldn't do monetary contributions, HOWEVER, NOT ONE of my own siblings ever even made or voiced a "sentiment" which would have meant the world.
So from this point forward, and oh, this too, will make a great chapter in the book, it is pretty clear where I stand, and I can and will honestly say, that there is not one of my brothers that knows who I am, where I came from, what drives me, and what I DID learn from the mother who thought she had done better, with little to no help from the man that was suppose to be her husband, turned out to be just as big a baby as her children.
OH MY GOD .... my head feels like it is going to explode ... but at least I can say that I have been preparing for this sort of explosion, and its outcome, and I am so much more than ready to move on with my own, serene existence without any siblings as I have the love, respect, and emotional outlet of friends, and distant family who are not afraid to show their emotions and speak openly and honestly.
To those who fall into that category, THANKS are not enough ... you have no idea how much I appreciate people who can talk, discuss, disagree, and still love each other on the other side. It isn't always about who is right, and who is wrong....
another one of those flipping situations in the universe that just doesn't explain it openly and clearly for those who can't see past their own nose .... LOL ...
Am off to try and de-stress ..... I know ... banging my head on the wall is not advised. :D
Peace ... and more important ... LOVE to all!!
et
Exciting Stuff ...
Good Morning!!
Well, I think I better learn and master the art of meditation. The stress that has been created by the caring of my father over the last few days has effected not only my "irritation levels," they have effected by blood sugars. They have been on the high side, and for no other reason, are running higher than what has become the norm over the past couple of weeks. It truly has become time to .... well ... shed those negative forces from my live, what hurts so deeply, is these forces are my siblings. I will do what I need to do to live any life I am blessed with to the highest level of my being without the negative feedings of those who feel that what they have going on in life is SO much more important, or that thay have made some death bed promise, and are half-heartedly carrying it out. Sad ... extremely sad. Without going into any more details, all I can say, is I have done more than any one of my siblings as far as caring for my parents in these past 8-10 years ... and prior to that as well, so the fact that 2800 miles is now between us, in my opinion is no excuse. So ... again, I wish no harm, but I guess if my life isn't needed or wanted in yours, than, when all is said and done, I hope you sleep well.
On to much more exciting stuff ... On my conference call on Thursday afternoon with the International Stem Cell Institute, I am happy, and VERY excited about some things going on in that department. A new launch is to happen this week, and I for one, can't wait to see it!!! Make sure to check the company web site and follow the link to the new information. (at least that is how I understood it to be happening) I, too, will post a link here on the blog when available. Until then I don't want to give away any details. I am beyond description when it comes to what I have experienced, and what I HOPE will continue for the next several months. If I have had this sort of response, and put it to such drastic tests, i.e., the pneumonia going in and post-treatment with the high-powered antibiotics, this weeks being without heat at work, 3 people sick and not staying home, and now I am feeling congested again, and yet still showing signs and improvement ... I must remain hopeful. I do have the gut feeling that I will have to undergo another treatment, but ... would like to see how long I can get improvement from this one before I undergo another. Also, it would make sense to me, that if I needed another treatment, that it be done prior to the effects of this one wearing out completely. But ... how do we know?? Each person is different, each person has various levels of damage and/or disease, we all heal at different rates, etc. I for one, have never followed text book responses to anything I have done medically. I find that incredibly irritating at times, and then, I also think it is pretty cool to show the medical profession that "See, not everyone is the same" mentality really should play a role.
Ok ... well ... things are ok this week, with the exception of the family BS ... which is about to come to an end for me, and I am going to begin the process of bowing out, on that responsibility. I am going to start packing up all the things that should have gone a long time ago when my mother passed, and with that, take my spirit to the next level and know that I did all I could, in my power, to care for my father and his difficult, at best, ways. With no help from siblings, except a few phone calls and some "mad money" to father .... WOW ... that really made things better didn't it ... LMAO .... brings me back to one of the phrases I used with my ex husband on so many occasions, and my brothers back when all this started ... "Emotional retards," at least then, I would know what I was dealing with, don't go disguising this shit in a body that looks like it can cope. it is also the alcoholic mentality .... I choose to break this mentality, so be well, be happy, but I am no longer a part of this messed up lifestyle. You all have no idea what you have missed on the journey of life, and what Mom really did know, I still wish I knew why she chose to put up with this mentality, and not allow her core to shine through. It would seem, that I really did get the best part of her, as my memories of things we did, talked about, experienced together, and her crossing over to the other side ... she allowed me to be a major part of that process with her, and to me, that is one of the most incredible gifts I have ever been privilaged to take part in .... she did say, and said it often, her boys weren't the men she thought she had raised....?? Questioning in tone, not understanding. Some time, we just have to "Let go and let God," a phrase I learned a long time ago taking part in the rehab process with my ex and friends too. The Gods are the only ones that know the plan ... it is our job to make the drive, do the journey, as best as we can.
On that note, I wish everyone a wonderful week!!
Peace and Light
et
Well, I think I better learn and master the art of meditation. The stress that has been created by the caring of my father over the last few days has effected not only my "irritation levels," they have effected by blood sugars. They have been on the high side, and for no other reason, are running higher than what has become the norm over the past couple of weeks. It truly has become time to .... well ... shed those negative forces from my live, what hurts so deeply, is these forces are my siblings. I will do what I need to do to live any life I am blessed with to the highest level of my being without the negative feedings of those who feel that what they have going on in life is SO much more important, or that thay have made some death bed promise, and are half-heartedly carrying it out. Sad ... extremely sad. Without going into any more details, all I can say, is I have done more than any one of my siblings as far as caring for my parents in these past 8-10 years ... and prior to that as well, so the fact that 2800 miles is now between us, in my opinion is no excuse. So ... again, I wish no harm, but I guess if my life isn't needed or wanted in yours, than, when all is said and done, I hope you sleep well.
On to much more exciting stuff ... On my conference call on Thursday afternoon with the International Stem Cell Institute, I am happy, and VERY excited about some things going on in that department. A new launch is to happen this week, and I for one, can't wait to see it!!! Make sure to check the company web site and follow the link to the new information. (at least that is how I understood it to be happening) I, too, will post a link here on the blog when available. Until then I don't want to give away any details. I am beyond description when it comes to what I have experienced, and what I HOPE will continue for the next several months. If I have had this sort of response, and put it to such drastic tests, i.e., the pneumonia going in and post-treatment with the high-powered antibiotics, this weeks being without heat at work, 3 people sick and not staying home, and now I am feeling congested again, and yet still showing signs and improvement ... I must remain hopeful. I do have the gut feeling that I will have to undergo another treatment, but ... would like to see how long I can get improvement from this one before I undergo another. Also, it would make sense to me, that if I needed another treatment, that it be done prior to the effects of this one wearing out completely. But ... how do we know?? Each person is different, each person has various levels of damage and/or disease, we all heal at different rates, etc. I for one, have never followed text book responses to anything I have done medically. I find that incredibly irritating at times, and then, I also think it is pretty cool to show the medical profession that "See, not everyone is the same" mentality really should play a role.
Ok ... well ... things are ok this week, with the exception of the family BS ... which is about to come to an end for me, and I am going to begin the process of bowing out, on that responsibility. I am going to start packing up all the things that should have gone a long time ago when my mother passed, and with that, take my spirit to the next level and know that I did all I could, in my power, to care for my father and his difficult, at best, ways. With no help from siblings, except a few phone calls and some "mad money" to father .... WOW ... that really made things better didn't it ... LMAO .... brings me back to one of the phrases I used with my ex husband on so many occasions, and my brothers back when all this started ... "Emotional retards," at least then, I would know what I was dealing with, don't go disguising this shit in a body that looks like it can cope. it is also the alcoholic mentality .... I choose to break this mentality, so be well, be happy, but I am no longer a part of this messed up lifestyle. You all have no idea what you have missed on the journey of life, and what Mom really did know, I still wish I knew why she chose to put up with this mentality, and not allow her core to shine through. It would seem, that I really did get the best part of her, as my memories of things we did, talked about, experienced together, and her crossing over to the other side ... she allowed me to be a major part of that process with her, and to me, that is one of the most incredible gifts I have ever been privilaged to take part in .... she did say, and said it often, her boys weren't the men she thought she had raised....?? Questioning in tone, not understanding. Some time, we just have to "Let go and let God," a phrase I learned a long time ago taking part in the rehab process with my ex and friends too. The Gods are the only ones that know the plan ... it is our job to make the drive, do the journey, as best as we can.
On that note, I wish everyone a wonderful week!!
Peace and Light
et
Saturday, March 26, 2011
It is my promise ...
Good Morning, and Happy Saturday to all!!
I had such a wonderful conference call on Thursday with the ISCI and I have much to share. Unfortunately, I have also had some pretty disturbing "family dynamic" issues going on in which have not only angered me in regard to others behaviors, in which I know deep down I can't control, but when these individuals are your siblings and they do something strictly because they "promised mom" .... keep your half-assed gestures, as it is in my opinion, people who act in this manner, are only easing their own sub-conscious and ego. The actions, in my opinion are not genuine and therefore, the meaning is non-existent.
Anyway ... I am about to "cleanse" my life of all that negativity, be it family or those who think they know me and what motivates me. TRUST me ... there are very few people who know where I come from in my passion to plug on, it is mostly on a spiritual level, but I have always tried to be nice to others, and enjoy myself while I go, if only in my sick mind thoughts.....LOL .... I will survive, with or without heat, water, the insulin is an item I really can't, but that was not my call, or my decision, it was something that was decided for me by those in much greater power than anyone on this plane. Perhaps this is my mission, my purpose, a reason to inspire people to go on ... and make it "as good as it gets" (one of my favorite movies).
Ok .. well ... I have a few errands to run this morning ... not one of them involving family, but home improvement issues in which I have to replace the back door, frame and all due to some AH not connecting my washer hose to the sewer and it has been draining under my house for 2 years!!! Now the house has shifted and that end (my master bedroom, bath, washroom) of the house has cracked, sunk, etc. and water damage took place ..... GGGGRRRRR .... I really find it amazing NO ONE takes any sort of pride in the work they do. Thank God for Heath, a friend who's wife "pimps him out" for household projects at a low or no cost to me on occasion. He too, is a Type 1 and hopes to undergo the treatment soon!!! Anyway ... I got some pricing to do and I need to stroll alone for a while and just be with ME.
Have a great day everyone ... and I will update, and fill in soon. I just need to regroup my thoughts and feelings in regard to this past couple of days of chaos.
In Peace and Love,
Light and good health!!!
et
I had such a wonderful conference call on Thursday with the ISCI and I have much to share. Unfortunately, I have also had some pretty disturbing "family dynamic" issues going on in which have not only angered me in regard to others behaviors, in which I know deep down I can't control, but when these individuals are your siblings and they do something strictly because they "promised mom" .... keep your half-assed gestures, as it is in my opinion, people who act in this manner, are only easing their own sub-conscious and ego. The actions, in my opinion are not genuine and therefore, the meaning is non-existent.
Anyway ... I am about to "cleanse" my life of all that negativity, be it family or those who think they know me and what motivates me. TRUST me ... there are very few people who know where I come from in my passion to plug on, it is mostly on a spiritual level, but I have always tried to be nice to others, and enjoy myself while I go, if only in my sick mind thoughts.....LOL .... I will survive, with or without heat, water, the insulin is an item I really can't, but that was not my call, or my decision, it was something that was decided for me by those in much greater power than anyone on this plane. Perhaps this is my mission, my purpose, a reason to inspire people to go on ... and make it "as good as it gets" (one of my favorite movies).
Ok .. well ... I have a few errands to run this morning ... not one of them involving family, but home improvement issues in which I have to replace the back door, frame and all due to some AH not connecting my washer hose to the sewer and it has been draining under my house for 2 years!!! Now the house has shifted and that end (my master bedroom, bath, washroom) of the house has cracked, sunk, etc. and water damage took place ..... GGGGRRRRR .... I really find it amazing NO ONE takes any sort of pride in the work they do. Thank God for Heath, a friend who's wife "pimps him out" for household projects at a low or no cost to me on occasion. He too, is a Type 1 and hopes to undergo the treatment soon!!! Anyway ... I got some pricing to do and I need to stroll alone for a while and just be with ME.
Have a great day everyone ... and I will update, and fill in soon. I just need to regroup my thoughts and feelings in regard to this past couple of days of chaos.
In Peace and Love,
Light and good health!!!
et
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Link connect
You would have to cut and paste the link from the blog, or, I came back and posted the link off to the right, that might be the easiest way to get to the article.
Thanks again ... to everyone who follows, and believes there can be a better future!!
Thanks again ... to everyone who follows, and believes there can be a better future!!
This weeks article and an update
Good Evening, 7:48 here in AZ.
A couple of things ... the following is the link to yesterdays local CVR article on my Adult Stem Cell treatment, and my opinions on the current status of US health care. A few of the statements were not really completed, leaving a lot of gray area in what I actually meant by them. Not a Boston Globe or New York Post article, but considering where I came from, and where I am currently, I can only go up!!!
http://cvrnews.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=446&ArticleID=53439
On another note; I think I have come up with two chapters for a book just in today's happenings. First, a story about where one emerges in the family dynamics because I had a really decent day today, a better afternoon, with a conference call with the ISCI, a follow up on treatment, how I am doing, where I hope to be at the end of a year, I know where I want to be. It was a very exciting call in which lasted a little over an hour. On my ride home from work, after that exciting call, I had another call. A call that really touched my heart, and put into perspective that I need to shed my life of the negative people and their energy from my life. I refer to my father, who has become dumber with every passing day, on top of that, the lack of oxygen in his system is costing my and my daughter money we don't have. Mind you, and I apologize to those who don't personally know me, or where I came from, that I have 5 siblings, NOT ONE OF THEM has offered any support in regard to my health status, no offer or even a sentiment to my needed to do something, what I live with, what I have done to save their asses since the passing of my mother. Tonight, I thought this is it!! I/we can't do this any more. Your father is dying, he doesn't have a cold, he has congestive heart failure. He is in no way coherent to anything, all he does is bitch, he is nasty, and refuses to take care of himself. I know it, his granddaughter knows it, his doctor knows it, even the pharmacy staff knows it!! I can't baby sit, I can't work 40 plus hours a week, care for him every day (which I have stopped doing) and I will no longer pay his extra expenses knowing a brother is sending him $$ and he is hoarding it until someone will take him to the casino and tell them he got a little $$ in the mail and have 4-6 $50s in his wallet. Never offering up some money for our gas, or that we pay his utilities then have to struggle to make sure I have enough gas to get my ass to work, or even worse, that my daughter used her cut hours pay to help me pay for insulin. What part of no insulin, no life, do my siblings not get. Or that all the things I have dealt with in MY life, I have to care for a man that has clearly not been a model father, they talk about my mother, 3000 miles away like they knew her, and yet, I don't think one of them ever came close to "knowing" her. No ... she wouldn't be "rolling over" in regard to a couple of recent happening in the immediate family, as I hear things even way out here in the wild west!!!
I am going to shed my responsibility for this situation, it is time for someone else to step up, I am not an only child, and I grew up in the same household and he never did a thing for me, and yet now, I am suppose to stay up at the plate and continue to clean up after my siblings .... NOT. I feel good for the first time in years, MY mother made comment on more than one occasion as to how she was "glad it was me, that had the chronic disease as not one of her son's could handle it." I know that sounds sort of cruel, harsh, but it was not in that manner, as she was heavy hearted that I lived with what I did, did it with humor and strength, and wished she could have seen me fall in love and meet someone who would take care of me, and love me for who I was, not what I lived with. That hasn't happened, and still, my siblings think that they are off the hook all around, even me, out of sight, out of mind. I sent them all an outspoken email over a year ago, with the exception of one brother, none of them have even attempted to fix the problem or even address it. It is so much easier to sit back, let someone else do all the work, and then throw blame when all is said and done.
The only decent family dynamics I have had, or learned from was my mother. We had it all!! Ability to agree to disagree, fun, humor, pain, suffering, struggling, and a positive outlook that if you want it bad enough, you will find a way. I am not sorry I was able to collect funds to undergo something that was "a lot of money" just to save my health, my life. That, in my opinion, is a really sad state of mind and presence.
OH MY JIZU .... protect me from this insanity!!!
I hope you all enjoy the update article. Thanks for listening to me rant about my siblings, again. This is the sort of stress that kills people, therefore it is in one's own interest, without hurting anyone intentionally, that you wipe your feet of those who radiate negativity. Your state of mind is priceless, and there comes a time, as in so many situations of life, where one must throw your hands to the Gods and say, take it, as I am incapable of contolling anothers actions, I can only control my own... and that is what I intend to do from this point forward.
I need to go do some deep breathing before I explode, and that isn't good for me. When your body tenses up over a phone conversation that seems to come out of the movie "Ground Hog's Day" and yet the outcome has a negative outcome, there is not a whole lot left for me to do ....
On that note, I wish everyone a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!!
May the sun shine on your back while you make the journey!!!
In Peace and Light
et
PS: Just an after note: I love my siblings, not because I have to, but because they each have thier own positive attributes, and I have experienced that from them, but I don't always like them. Sad how the family history has to repeat itself, I choose to break the cycle. I have things I want to do, I have a few places I'd like to see ... I can do it, and I will.
A couple of things ... the following is the link to yesterdays local CVR article on my Adult Stem Cell treatment, and my opinions on the current status of US health care. A few of the statements were not really completed, leaving a lot of gray area in what I actually meant by them. Not a Boston Globe or New York Post article, but considering where I came from, and where I am currently, I can only go up!!!
http://cvrnews.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=446&ArticleID=53439
On another note; I think I have come up with two chapters for a book just in today's happenings. First, a story about where one emerges in the family dynamics because I had a really decent day today, a better afternoon, with a conference call with the ISCI, a follow up on treatment, how I am doing, where I hope to be at the end of a year, I know where I want to be. It was a very exciting call in which lasted a little over an hour. On my ride home from work, after that exciting call, I had another call. A call that really touched my heart, and put into perspective that I need to shed my life of the negative people and their energy from my life. I refer to my father, who has become dumber with every passing day, on top of that, the lack of oxygen in his system is costing my and my daughter money we don't have. Mind you, and I apologize to those who don't personally know me, or where I came from, that I have 5 siblings, NOT ONE OF THEM has offered any support in regard to my health status, no offer or even a sentiment to my needed to do something, what I live with, what I have done to save their asses since the passing of my mother. Tonight, I thought this is it!! I/we can't do this any more. Your father is dying, he doesn't have a cold, he has congestive heart failure. He is in no way coherent to anything, all he does is bitch, he is nasty, and refuses to take care of himself. I know it, his granddaughter knows it, his doctor knows it, even the pharmacy staff knows it!! I can't baby sit, I can't work 40 plus hours a week, care for him every day (which I have stopped doing) and I will no longer pay his extra expenses knowing a brother is sending him $$ and he is hoarding it until someone will take him to the casino and tell them he got a little $$ in the mail and have 4-6 $50s in his wallet. Never offering up some money for our gas, or that we pay his utilities then have to struggle to make sure I have enough gas to get my ass to work, or even worse, that my daughter used her cut hours pay to help me pay for insulin. What part of no insulin, no life, do my siblings not get. Or that all the things I have dealt with in MY life, I have to care for a man that has clearly not been a model father, they talk about my mother, 3000 miles away like they knew her, and yet, I don't think one of them ever came close to "knowing" her. No ... she wouldn't be "rolling over" in regard to a couple of recent happening in the immediate family, as I hear things even way out here in the wild west!!!
I am going to shed my responsibility for this situation, it is time for someone else to step up, I am not an only child, and I grew up in the same household and he never did a thing for me, and yet now, I am suppose to stay up at the plate and continue to clean up after my siblings .... NOT. I feel good for the first time in years, MY mother made comment on more than one occasion as to how she was "glad it was me, that had the chronic disease as not one of her son's could handle it." I know that sounds sort of cruel, harsh, but it was not in that manner, as she was heavy hearted that I lived with what I did, did it with humor and strength, and wished she could have seen me fall in love and meet someone who would take care of me, and love me for who I was, not what I lived with. That hasn't happened, and still, my siblings think that they are off the hook all around, even me, out of sight, out of mind. I sent them all an outspoken email over a year ago, with the exception of one brother, none of them have even attempted to fix the problem or even address it. It is so much easier to sit back, let someone else do all the work, and then throw blame when all is said and done.
The only decent family dynamics I have had, or learned from was my mother. We had it all!! Ability to agree to disagree, fun, humor, pain, suffering, struggling, and a positive outlook that if you want it bad enough, you will find a way. I am not sorry I was able to collect funds to undergo something that was "a lot of money" just to save my health, my life. That, in my opinion, is a really sad state of mind and presence.
OH MY JIZU .... protect me from this insanity!!!
I hope you all enjoy the update article. Thanks for listening to me rant about my siblings, again. This is the sort of stress that kills people, therefore it is in one's own interest, without hurting anyone intentionally, that you wipe your feet of those who radiate negativity. Your state of mind is priceless, and there comes a time, as in so many situations of life, where one must throw your hands to the Gods and say, take it, as I am incapable of contolling anothers actions, I can only control my own... and that is what I intend to do from this point forward.
I need to go do some deep breathing before I explode, and that isn't good for me. When your body tenses up over a phone conversation that seems to come out of the movie "Ground Hog's Day" and yet the outcome has a negative outcome, there is not a whole lot left for me to do ....
On that note, I wish everyone a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!!
May the sun shine on your back while you make the journey!!!
In Peace and Light
et
PS: Just an after note: I love my siblings, not because I have to, but because they each have thier own positive attributes, and I have experienced that from them, but I don't always like them. Sad how the family history has to repeat itself, I choose to break the cycle. I have things I want to do, I have a few places I'd like to see ... I can do it, and I will.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
HAPPY SPRING!!!
Good Morning to All !!!
It has only been recently that I have discovered that I can track where my activity is coming from here on the blog. (go figure!!) I always knew there was a way, it just wasn't until recently I had the energy to out and beyond most things I was comfortable with, and tried to keep it that way. In any event, I would love to know, and hear from some of the folks that may be reading from somewhere else, i.e., the Netherlands, Denmark, Germany, and Canada. For multiple reasons, I would love to hear and spark discussion on what it may be like in the Country you live in, what has you reading this woman's blog about ... well ... I call it my "Bitchin' Blog" in reference as it has given me the opportunity to vent on issues I feel deeply about, and am sick of being walked on by agencies, and a few doctors, that don't want to look past thier wallets. I thought, at least at one time, a person who wanted to be a doctor/scientist, did so with a passion to make a difference, and not by lining the pockets of, but $$ and greed seemed to have taken over so many it is such a sad state of affairs.
As I have stated, I have met some pretty amazing people in the medical field over the last few years. I am amazed how many of our American doctors seem to feel they are being stifled. How sad is that??? I see it as such, especially when I have met a good dozen or more in just the past two years, who you can hear the frustration in thier voices, which in the end effects their methods and passion for the treatment of people. That is sad, I have heard the NIH referred to as the "National Institutes of Hell", I have heard multiple little placements for the FDA, ...LMAO ... which I can't help but agree with.... SAD.
Today, I am going to download my pump/meter and send it off to my endocrinologist in Phoenix, it's time to decrease the insulin, which I have done, down another 1/2 unit per hour (0.60), but need some guidance in how to break it down in the 24 hour phase. I often time find if someone else looks at my graphs that they see something I may have missed. You know, that check and balance thing... LOL ... so hopefully, but Tues. or Weds. I will have some more really positive news. I think some people thought this was going to be a "Cure" and I would no longer be diabetic. No, it is not a cure, YET!! It is in my opinion, that it is on its way to becoming the biggest factor in finding that cure that seems to be eluding so many people. I am more than pleased with what I am experiencing. To be honest with you all, I am not sure I could handle at this point, a way of life that would involve, no needle sticks, no finger sticks, no pump changing, no .. lots of things to just be wiped out of my life. I would have no clue what to do with my life. This thought process, and my day to day activities since I was a child wiped out, now that would be a life adjustment that would be overwhelming at best description. How totally amazing that sort of adjustment might be .... ??? (it's a ponder question folks :)
Back to that question, I really would love to hear from anyone from somewhere else (I think all my friends here in America are getting bored with me ... hehehehe ... )To hear what you are thinking of all this change, perhaps share where you are at in your life, do you have Type I, someone you know, someone you love, a child, spouse, etc. It's not that I am short on words, after 3 hours waiting on my car yesterday, the manager (who happens to be from MA) walked by while I was cutting my check and said "you still here? Boy can you talk!" in which my response was "Bite me!" See ya next time and have a great afternoon!" He giggled his way outside .... just odd encounters I have had with people I don't really know, but have sparked an .... I really am not sure what you call it as it has happened several times just in the past week. The manageing editor from the paper, our tax lady, who we see once a year, twice is she is lucky, she was hugging both of us, her face just lit up, the woman who helped me get my financing for the car at the dealership, she kept getting what I call the "willies" when she asked me questions about the treatment, and she couldn't get over how I looked, and she too, big hugs, and I don't know what else it is ... perhaps Tuesday nights article will shed some light, even for me. I do know that I deal with things sometime in what has been referred to as warped, but that has really worked for me over the years, It is real for me, I try to find something amusing, to ease my pain.
Ok ... well ... hopefully some more positive news this week. Also, HT will be home from work soon to go to bed (it is now 7:05) and I have friends coming over this afternoon, to go under the house for me and adjust the supports, help me move some appliances and a couple of other "manly duties" ... not having a man of my own, it is nice to have such good friends who offer up thier husbands to help me out .... LMAO ... I do the food and it works out pretty well as a working gathering> I am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life!!! I have been so incredibly blessed ... yes, even a chronic disease seems like a blessing to me at times ... in the sense it has given me another way to view the world and those around me.
Have a wonderful Sunday!!!
Peace and Light
et
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Stamina and less Insulin
G'Evening Saturday !!
Did anyone get a chance to catch that HUGE moon tonight? WOW ... I stood on the back steps and had a clear shot of the skyline to the East. I tried to take a few pics but they came out like someone missed something ... one big light... LOL. Guess I will just have to hold the image in my new mind. I really am laughing here ... what I continue to experience is just plain weird. I did a 52 hour week, ending this morning at 9. I then sat around the car dealership for 3 hours while my car was serviced. Constructed 3 letters, did some "math" ... went to the grocery store, Home Depot (where I could have spent most of the day; when I didn't find what I wanted, I had a desire to hit Lowe's too!) In any event, by the time I got home, it was after 3 (I had left the house @ 7). I did some wash, made a Mac salad for tomorrow, etc. I think you get the idea, now it is 7:45 and I am, honestly, wiped out.
I have noticed that the last couple of days I have had this increased burst of energy and then "boom", I am achy. I think this week, it really is over-worked, under real good sleep. Seems as soon as I fall asleep, it's time to get up, and I fall right to sleep. I had deadlines that had to be met this week. Talk about throwing the pile at you, along with someone elses pile and say we need this yesterday!!! Yup, they missed me alright and their enthusiasm at having me back is one of two things, and I won't bore you with details .. lol. .. stupidity is among us.
Mind clarity, physical stamina, like I can't begin to explain, it is like I have bones and joints moving that haven't really gone their full range-of-motion since the late 90s. However, I am, and I know it, over-tired and therefore think that is why my back aches. I have been pushing it, and the muscles and stress from deadlines have made me tense. One good thing, that feels really nice for a change, is that I have this ability to actually stretch. I have noticed that my posture has improved. I think that has something to do with spending so many years rolled in a fetal position, or the toll of chronic pain and fetal position.... hahaha ... maybe it causes the curvature...?? There has also been A LOT of digestive "waking" going on this past week ... it is just too weird to describe, and I can only hope that those following me, have the slightest clue as to the pain that has been involved since the mid90s in regard to my gut and it's exentensive workings.... I grin, I laugh, but it was no laughing matter, it was the only way I could cope. I did cry as well on occasion, but the laughter and my twisted outlook on the "shit" we deal with in life ... you get the jist. :)~
I'm going to head off to bed now, this is the 3rd night in a row I have dozed off on my keyboard.... LOL ...Sweet Dreams to all, and to all, a restful night!!!
In peace, light, and good health!!
et
Did anyone get a chance to catch that HUGE moon tonight? WOW ... I stood on the back steps and had a clear shot of the skyline to the East. I tried to take a few pics but they came out like someone missed something ... one big light... LOL. Guess I will just have to hold the image in my new mind. I really am laughing here ... what I continue to experience is just plain weird. I did a 52 hour week, ending this morning at 9. I then sat around the car dealership for 3 hours while my car was serviced. Constructed 3 letters, did some "math" ... went to the grocery store, Home Depot (where I could have spent most of the day; when I didn't find what I wanted, I had a desire to hit Lowe's too!) In any event, by the time I got home, it was after 3 (I had left the house @ 7). I did some wash, made a Mac salad for tomorrow, etc. I think you get the idea, now it is 7:45 and I am, honestly, wiped out.
I have noticed that the last couple of days I have had this increased burst of energy and then "boom", I am achy. I think this week, it really is over-worked, under real good sleep. Seems as soon as I fall asleep, it's time to get up, and I fall right to sleep. I had deadlines that had to be met this week. Talk about throwing the pile at you, along with someone elses pile and say we need this yesterday!!! Yup, they missed me alright and their enthusiasm at having me back is one of two things, and I won't bore you with details .. lol. .. stupidity is among us.
Mind clarity, physical stamina, like I can't begin to explain, it is like I have bones and joints moving that haven't really gone their full range-of-motion since the late 90s. However, I am, and I know it, over-tired and therefore think that is why my back aches. I have been pushing it, and the muscles and stress from deadlines have made me tense. One good thing, that feels really nice for a change, is that I have this ability to actually stretch. I have noticed that my posture has improved. I think that has something to do with spending so many years rolled in a fetal position, or the toll of chronic pain and fetal position.... hahaha ... maybe it causes the curvature...?? There has also been A LOT of digestive "waking" going on this past week ... it is just too weird to describe, and I can only hope that those following me, have the slightest clue as to the pain that has been involved since the mid90s in regard to my gut and it's exentensive workings.... I grin, I laugh, but it was no laughing matter, it was the only way I could cope. I did cry as well on occasion, but the laughter and my twisted outlook on the "shit" we deal with in life ... you get the jist. :)~
I'm going to head off to bed now, this is the 3rd night in a row I have dozed off on my keyboard.... LOL ...Sweet Dreams to all, and to all, a restful night!!!
In peace, light, and good health!!
et
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Photo by:
Salina Sialega, Chino Valley Review Managing Editor
The above photo was taken earlier this week on an interview with the Chino Valley Review. Salina has done a wonderful job following my story and making sure we get it out to people in this area. It continues to be my belief that this sort of story gets out there!!! Too many people can benefit from this science/medicine. I researched and weeded through many, many companies, claims of "cure", and more than my share of "quacks", as they are out there, and as much as I find it to be a despicable play on people who are already desperate and in despair, they suck any remaining hope, trust, and life savings away from these people.
My advice; if you are seeking this sort of treatment, word of mouth is and can be the best form of advertisement. What would be even better ... was if the US government agencies that all have their hands (and in my opinion, their pockets) in the decisions that effect MY life, or yours, or a loved ones, they need to get on the ball, or get out of MY business, MY LIFE.
Let me tell you a little story as to yet another "screw me" moment by the powerful USA. I went to the pharmacy two weeks ago to fill my insulin prescription. Now, we all know that I CANNOT go with out, it is my life line. It is insulin or death, period, there is no in between, no substitute. I must have it. Well, my script is written for 3 bottles of Humalog per month, to be used in my pump. The tech brings it to the counter, rings it up and looks at me and says ... "That will be 336.00" ... well, first I wanted to shit, then I gasped, then I looked at the pharmacist and said, "Really?" ... "did you run it through the new insurance?"; "Yes, ma'am" (which is a term I can't stand being aimed at me... hehe). What could I say, I couldn't afford that cost .. needed or not, so I asked if I could just have one bottle at a time, he responds with sure, and proceeds to change out the paperwork and comes back with "That'll be $117."
Sorry folks ... but I see a HUGE problem with this sort of scenario. Let me tell you why. First, I work, I have insurance. I don't give a crap about the politics involved, what political party you associate with, as illness and chronic disease can strike anyone, it doesn't care if you are white, black, yellow, or green for that matter. Why is it, I could go online to where I get another drug, which has been prescribed to me and yet, it too, is not available in the US. I can get my insulin, same brand (because it isn't like they are going to cough up generics) same bottle, etc In Canada for $43/bottle!!??!! This is wrong on so many levels I can't begin to scratch the surface as one person. If it is happening to me, and it has on many occasions over the years, it is happening all over this country. The elderly who were your working class folk when I was a kid, like my parents, or more specific my mother, as she worked her entire life, except for the last 10 years of it, in which 8 of those left quality FAR below quantity, and I have to tell you, it was a give and take every month, can we afford all your meds this month and have enough left to pay basic needs, and eat too?? Again, I have lived it, advocated for my mother in regard to all the meds she was on at the time, 12, and whether they would eat too that month. I think this is disgusting for a nation such as ours that claims to be so generous, intelligent, on the cutting edge .... CRAP !!! We are being screwed as Capital Hill favors lobbyist for drug companies, and how to make it so difficult for the public to have even the slightest glimmer of hope that something better might come along, or better yet, can we afford it...?? These are questions that we really shouldn't have to worry ourselves to death about ... there is a chronic disease involved that is doing that for me, and you would think that all this cutting edge we have claimed in this country, we are so far behind other countries it is pathetic, and it would seem they waste more time with the trials of things that COULD help, so that they can drag it out and make more money off the process .... so much of this medicine/science will NEVER see the light of day in the good ol' USA because their agenda isn't cure, it's carve!!! Carve themselves a nice piggy bank while those looking for a glimmer of hope are left to be strung along on the ride. THIS MUST STOP!!!!
WE MUST BE HEARD, WE MUST MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD!!!
I wish I knew how I could do it ... short of winning a mega jackpot in the lottery, and even that would make a dent no one would notice, can I do it alone? I am always open to chat, communication, etc that might spark that tone of irritation with our so called people who represent us ... hhhhmmmm ... not sure what neighborhood that might be, but I can tell you I have NEVER lived in or even near it.
Ok .. well .. something else to ponder on I guess, but everyday I have an encounter, either personal or from someone in discussion, that makes me mad all over again on this topic.
I wish you all a wonderful, Spring weekend!! Get outside, enjoy the sunshine, I hope too.
Sweet dreams and good health!!
Peace and Light
ET
HAPPY ST PADDY'S DAY
Morning Everyone ... and Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!
Got to love the fighting Irish ... LOL ... Just a quick update because I am running behind this morning. I have 34 hours in already before today even begins, I think I can run a wee bit late today.
This week has been busy to say the least, but I think I am fairing pretty well in the stamina department, Amazing!!! It's even amazing me ... the way I feel, the changes I am becoming aware of is just amazing!! I can't seem to come up with more descriptive words to express my enthusiasm for what's happening to my body.
This week, as an example, I have had maybe 4-5 lows and with each one I had some sort of awareness sign prior to. I was telling Hillary just last night that with each one there is a different, more intense sign and symptom. It is also time for me to review my insulin intake and adjust as it seems that I am running high in the mornings, rest of day has been, yup ... again, AMAZING!!!
Last note for this morning is this. I met with the Chino Valley Review the other night for 2 hours!! A great interview and Maggie will make her news debut!!! I will post the link here when it prints.
Response to my treatment from so many, right up to my tax lady who I spoke with last night, she was so enthusiastic, so damn friendly ... !! I hope she can work some magic this year, as last year really sucked in the finance department, as I am SURE, so many others, like yourself, have encountered some sort of bump.
I wish you all a very happy, very safe St. Patrick's Day!!!
Peace and Light
et
Got to love the fighting Irish ... LOL ... Just a quick update because I am running behind this morning. I have 34 hours in already before today even begins, I think I can run a wee bit late today.
This week has been busy to say the least, but I think I am fairing pretty well in the stamina department, Amazing!!! It's even amazing me ... the way I feel, the changes I am becoming aware of is just amazing!! I can't seem to come up with more descriptive words to express my enthusiasm for what's happening to my body.
This week, as an example, I have had maybe 4-5 lows and with each one I had some sort of awareness sign prior to. I was telling Hillary just last night that with each one there is a different, more intense sign and symptom. It is also time for me to review my insulin intake and adjust as it seems that I am running high in the mornings, rest of day has been, yup ... again, AMAZING!!!
Last note for this morning is this. I met with the Chino Valley Review the other night for 2 hours!! A great interview and Maggie will make her news debut!!! I will post the link here when it prints.
Response to my treatment from so many, right up to my tax lady who I spoke with last night, she was so enthusiastic, so damn friendly ... !! I hope she can work some magic this year, as last year really sucked in the finance department, as I am SURE, so many others, like yourself, have encountered some sort of bump.
I wish you all a very happy, very safe St. Patrick's Day!!!
Peace and Light
et
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I think I am being challenged ...
Ok, well I made the statement that I was going to wait another 2 weeks to post pics of what my cute old face looked like prior to my stem cell treatment. Well, lots of people have noticed small things that seem "different." Again, a certain someone (wink wink, you know who you are) has made mention of a "counter" to see how many people view the photos and comments made on such.
Well ... you are ON!!! All my posts are counted, my comments, and "hits" on the page are also tracked so I guess we actually will know how many people have viewed the page that will hold the pics. I have to tell you all ... this really make me laugh, I really don't want my laugh-lines to disappear ... I love to laugh, and I look for a reason to laugh at any and all opportunity!!! Most times, what I am laughing about is my own warped humor ... but in recent years I am so blessed to say that all the friends I had lost over the past 20 years, are now my angels, and have sent me some really warped friends to replace them.... and yes, I am totally serious, those of us who share a somewhat "off-color" is how I have been described, my mother would tell me at times that I had a "filthy laugh" .... and she knew my mind/imagination was off in territory that "most" others were not there. I disagree ... LOL ... I think, of course, this is only my opinion, is that all I am and/or do, is "say what most are thinking" ... and for that, I will never apologize. I like to think of it as honesty ... and I don't go out of my way to be mean, I usually just laugh ... like that comedian (can't think of his name); the guy that says "Here's your sign!"
Anyway ... be on the look out for a couple of pics to appear one day in the next couple of weeks. I would really love to hear comments, I know how bad it apparently was getting with all the health issues, stress, added stress of life; etc. and I do see a huge difference ... apparently, so have many others ... so leave a comment if you want, but the results you see are ALL stem cell related, I have done nothing different, hell, I even kicked the quality of face cream down a notch cost wise... LOL ... So ... let the challenge begin! (not sure what she thinks this is going to tell us??; she thinks I am pretty special, but ... lol)
Wishing everyone a GREAT week!!
Peace and Light
et
Well ... you are ON!!! All my posts are counted, my comments, and "hits" on the page are also tracked so I guess we actually will know how many people have viewed the page that will hold the pics. I have to tell you all ... this really make me laugh, I really don't want my laugh-lines to disappear ... I love to laugh, and I look for a reason to laugh at any and all opportunity!!! Most times, what I am laughing about is my own warped humor ... but in recent years I am so blessed to say that all the friends I had lost over the past 20 years, are now my angels, and have sent me some really warped friends to replace them.... and yes, I am totally serious, those of us who share a somewhat "off-color" is how I have been described, my mother would tell me at times that I had a "filthy laugh" .... and she knew my mind/imagination was off in territory that "most" others were not there. I disagree ... LOL ... I think, of course, this is only my opinion, is that all I am and/or do, is "say what most are thinking" ... and for that, I will never apologize. I like to think of it as honesty ... and I don't go out of my way to be mean, I usually just laugh ... like that comedian (can't think of his name); the guy that says "Here's your sign!"
Anyway ... be on the look out for a couple of pics to appear one day in the next couple of weeks. I would really love to hear comments, I know how bad it apparently was getting with all the health issues, stress, added stress of life; etc. and I do see a huge difference ... apparently, so have many others ... so leave a comment if you want, but the results you see are ALL stem cell related, I have done nothing different, hell, I even kicked the quality of face cream down a notch cost wise... LOL ... So ... let the challenge begin! (not sure what she thinks this is going to tell us??; she thinks I am pretty special, but ... lol)
Wishing everyone a GREAT week!!
Peace and Light
et
I ask of you all ...
Please keep the people of Japan in your thoughts, prayers, or higher spiritual guide for the strength to overcome the recent devastation. As a human being, I would certainly like to think that people of any denomination, race, or locale would help on a human level.
We must be aware of the karma in the world, and to be honest, I don't think as many do, but ... I also know, that I don't seem to have the negativity that I know some people do in other's that may be "different" .... LEARN .... there is much to be said for those who are "different." Culturally, spiritually, on a human level ...
Please keep that thought for a better, brighter, future for those who have been affected by this latest wrath of Mother Nature.
Thank you!!!
Peace and Light to you all!!
et
PS: On a stemmie note; I am thinking I am going to give it another 2 weeks before I post a picture that will show off my new face ... what a benefit this has been!!! I will post it with a pic of my facial features just a few months ago prior to treatment .... in my opinion, not pretty, but old for my age .... LOL ... and now.... it has been amazing to look in the mirror everyday ... almost enjoyable!! :D
We must be aware of the karma in the world, and to be honest, I don't think as many do, but ... I also know, that I don't seem to have the negativity that I know some people do in other's that may be "different" .... LEARN .... there is much to be said for those who are "different." Culturally, spiritually, on a human level ...
Please keep that thought for a better, brighter, future for those who have been affected by this latest wrath of Mother Nature.
Thank you!!!
Peace and Light to you all!!
et
PS: On a stemmie note; I am thinking I am going to give it another 2 weeks before I post a picture that will show off my new face ... what a benefit this has been!!! I will post it with a pic of my facial features just a few months ago prior to treatment .... in my opinion, not pretty, but old for my age .... LOL ... and now.... it has been amazing to look in the mirror everyday ... almost enjoyable!! :D
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
One month mark ...
G'Evening all !!
I just wanted to make a quick note entry and let everyone know I continue to improve each day. Today marks one month to the day of my treatment being done. I can't begin to tell everyone here and far, far away ... that I totally understand and respect the opinion of "placebo" effect and/or mind over matter thought process. Come on people, really, do you know me at all....??? I have always had a tad of skeptism involved in almost all aspects of decisions I have had to make at one point or another. First, yes, I do believe that one's frame-of-mind in going into anything, nevermind a chronic health issue, does not play a role. I believe that whole-heartedly, but I must say, what I have experienced, and continue to on a daily basis, someting new, even small .... but I have to tell you, my gut and its companion partners...LOL...continue to undergo what I would call a "reverse process" ... years of nerve damage, paralysis, slowed motility ... OMG!!! I am "smelling a comedy skit here," .... LOL ... anyway, I will tell you from personal experience and a drug list that is no doubt in the 5-6 page length .... THIS IS NOT A "PLACEBO" effect response!!!
I will do my best to catch up on the week, and the continued progress.
Have a wonderful evening !!
peace and light
et
I just wanted to make a quick note entry and let everyone know I continue to improve each day. Today marks one month to the day of my treatment being done. I can't begin to tell everyone here and far, far away ... that I totally understand and respect the opinion of "placebo" effect and/or mind over matter thought process. Come on people, really, do you know me at all....??? I have always had a tad of skeptism involved in almost all aspects of decisions I have had to make at one point or another. First, yes, I do believe that one's frame-of-mind in going into anything, nevermind a chronic health issue, does not play a role. I believe that whole-heartedly, but I must say, what I have experienced, and continue to on a daily basis, someting new, even small .... but I have to tell you, my gut and its companion partners...LOL...continue to undergo what I would call a "reverse process" ... years of nerve damage, paralysis, slowed motility ... OMG!!! I am "smelling a comedy skit here," .... LOL ... anyway, I will tell you from personal experience and a drug list that is no doubt in the 5-6 page length .... THIS IS NOT A "PLACEBO" effect response!!!
I will do my best to catch up on the week, and the continued progress.
Have a wonderful evening !!
peace and light
et
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Time to get back to it !!!
Hello Everyone!!
I get the distinct feeling Spring might be upon us.
First, I am excited to be getting back to work tomorrow. It has been a long month at best, and the changes that have occurred, and the treatments in which have been applied to my body, are without a doubt, a test to not only me and my attitude, but to the treatments as well.
I am going to attempt to take each day as a new gift, to not push beyond what my body tells me is reasonable. We all know how that might go, knowing how I tend to push myself to the limit. I think, maybe its age, that I am getting the hang of it. :D
I want to try and note all changes, and yet, so many have occurred that are or seem, so simple in nature, that I can't possibly overlook them. One, in particular, is my memory fog, for years, like mid-90's, has been dazed at best even given some of the stressors I have dealt with and gotten through. It has always been my method, that I take the most pressing of "needs" and tend to it as necessary, and move on. Now, weather I remember that I have accomplished this or not, whole other story ... LMAO ... ask my daughter, or anyone who has witnessed me tend to these situations in my life over the past 10-15 years.
I just finished up some work for my "at home" job, I am about to jump in shower and head out to pick up scripts, and drop off some stuff for my dad. I would like to ask .... if anyone, who may be reading, is or was, one of my little angels on my recent trip, to please touch base with me. I would love to hear from you!! I am speaking in particular of one couple from Canada in which I traveled with to Mexico, I certainly hope that all is going well in J's treatment and that you are both doing well and totally embracing what is happening in the healing department. Also, to a special young woman, whose first name was Leanne, who sat with me on the flight from Houston to Phoenix. I can't thank you enough for accompanying me on that leg, and I so totally enjoyed our conversation, and your heart-felt warmth and genuine concern!!! Please contact me if you get this message, I would love to hear how your seminar went and that your thesis on mental health .... turns out to be a kick-ass spectacular paper!! Remember, less is often more. :D I really did enjoy our flight, you were one of the best plane partners I have had in some time ... totally enjoyable!! and .... I really can't thank you enough for your caring concern, and then we were gone ..... ???? Leanne is from Louisiana and I would love to hear from her again on so many levels. She was a true joy to encounter ... I still laugh about the app she was telling me about on phone that helps connect "friends" on arrival to other cities... LMAO ... I wish I could find one of those for old, single ladies like me ..... too funny!!
Ok ... well .... now that I have sent out my signal for contact ... I wish everyone a rockin' good day, and enjoy the little things life throws at us. I am off to try and be productive in my own way.
Peace and Light, and much love to all who continue to follow me and my epics.
et
I get the distinct feeling Spring might be upon us.
First, I am excited to be getting back to work tomorrow. It has been a long month at best, and the changes that have occurred, and the treatments in which have been applied to my body, are without a doubt, a test to not only me and my attitude, but to the treatments as well.
I am going to attempt to take each day as a new gift, to not push beyond what my body tells me is reasonable. We all know how that might go, knowing how I tend to push myself to the limit. I think, maybe its age, that I am getting the hang of it. :D
I want to try and note all changes, and yet, so many have occurred that are or seem, so simple in nature, that I can't possibly overlook them. One, in particular, is my memory fog, for years, like mid-90's, has been dazed at best even given some of the stressors I have dealt with and gotten through. It has always been my method, that I take the most pressing of "needs" and tend to it as necessary, and move on. Now, weather I remember that I have accomplished this or not, whole other story ... LMAO ... ask my daughter, or anyone who has witnessed me tend to these situations in my life over the past 10-15 years.
I just finished up some work for my "at home" job, I am about to jump in shower and head out to pick up scripts, and drop off some stuff for my dad. I would like to ask .... if anyone, who may be reading, is or was, one of my little angels on my recent trip, to please touch base with me. I would love to hear from you!! I am speaking in particular of one couple from Canada in which I traveled with to Mexico, I certainly hope that all is going well in J's treatment and that you are both doing well and totally embracing what is happening in the healing department. Also, to a special young woman, whose first name was Leanne, who sat with me on the flight from Houston to Phoenix. I can't thank you enough for accompanying me on that leg, and I so totally enjoyed our conversation, and your heart-felt warmth and genuine concern!!! Please contact me if you get this message, I would love to hear how your seminar went and that your thesis on mental health .... turns out to be a kick-ass spectacular paper!! Remember, less is often more. :D I really did enjoy our flight, you were one of the best plane partners I have had in some time ... totally enjoyable!! and .... I really can't thank you enough for your caring concern, and then we were gone ..... ???? Leanne is from Louisiana and I would love to hear from her again on so many levels. She was a true joy to encounter ... I still laugh about the app she was telling me about on phone that helps connect "friends" on arrival to other cities... LMAO ... I wish I could find one of those for old, single ladies like me ..... too funny!!
Ok ... well .... now that I have sent out my signal for contact ... I wish everyone a rockin' good day, and enjoy the little things life throws at us. I am off to try and be productive in my own way.
Peace and Light, and much love to all who continue to follow me and my epics.
et
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Very Postive Day
Good Evening to everyone!!
What a great "test" day I had. I was up at my usual, pre-treatment time, 5:30. Me and Maggie did our usual morning ritual, slightly less fast paced seeing as I had some extra time. Coffee, news, breakfast, shower, make the bed, etc. Headed out to my doctor appointment about 9:30, stopped and paid my father's rent, made some copies to share stem cell info with my new PCP, Dr. Chase, who I am just thrilled with as she took such amazing care of me last week while a resident at YRMC here in Prescott. I faired a very good bill of health given the fact that last week my pulse-ox didn't clear 82, was today at 98% on room air. I am still on the steroid taper for about 4 more days, so then I should be able to restart my overview of treatment and where I stand on that level. As stated earlier, steroids do some pretty nasty stuff in large doses. My pump has been running at over 2 units/per hour for over a week to cover what the steroids do to blood sugars. I am happily on the taper off.
Blood work that was scheduled for my endocrinologist will have to be placed on hold for about 6 weeks so to clear all from system and hopefully get a realistic reading on my blood sugars as well as TSH, and overall control since treatment. The bilateral pneumonia was certainly a test, dodging another bullet is how my daughter put it, seeing as she recapped a few days and I am at a loss with all the antibiotics, narcotics, breathing treatments, and sleep (half-assed sleep at best). I have been doing a lot of resting, given all my body has encountered over the past 3short weeks, it is pretty amazing stuff. I can't hold back my enthusiasm for what has transpired within my body. I know that my attitude plays a role, but really, I am not sure how much of my attitude can play into the true happenings of chemical changes, physiology, cellular changes, all the scientific stuff that I have been .... well..... orgasmic ... LMAO ... over since treatment, the excitement can't be controlled, although I do try, it is hard not to see how I have taken on a new outlook overall.
The video clip posted prior to this post, if you just click on the center, will play the simple approach in which I underwent treatment. This company, AdiStem, is the protocol in which was used, and in researching of this company, they are doing amazing things with the science/medicine of stem cells. So I will promote both companies.
I also had my 3 week follow up call with ISCI and that was another positive in my day. I can't say enough about the care I received and the passion and humanity of the people I have dealt with.... and NO, I am not being paid by these people, (although I would love nothing more than to become a part of this amazing team). I will continue to pursue my research, continue to promote this institute and the work they do.
Ok ... well ... I know there is a whole lot more detail-wise that needs to be brought forward, but I have wash to fold and put away, and am about to chill down and call it an early evening with Maggie and the Thursday night lineup. I will make another post tomorrow with the dirty little details as to what will happen next.
I will also be returning to work bright and early Monday morning ... so a routine will have to come back into play pretty soon. But, with all the positive changes that have been happening, I am hoping for more energy and stamina to come back in the next 4-6 weeks, as well as the skin changes that will continue to get better according to patient advocate.
Life ... well ... is comfortable and content at present.
Peace and Light to all who continue to follow my progress!!
Have a wonderful evening!!
et
What a great "test" day I had. I was up at my usual, pre-treatment time, 5:30. Me and Maggie did our usual morning ritual, slightly less fast paced seeing as I had some extra time. Coffee, news, breakfast, shower, make the bed, etc. Headed out to my doctor appointment about 9:30, stopped and paid my father's rent, made some copies to share stem cell info with my new PCP, Dr. Chase, who I am just thrilled with as she took such amazing care of me last week while a resident at YRMC here in Prescott. I faired a very good bill of health given the fact that last week my pulse-ox didn't clear 82, was today at 98% on room air. I am still on the steroid taper for about 4 more days, so then I should be able to restart my overview of treatment and where I stand on that level. As stated earlier, steroids do some pretty nasty stuff in large doses. My pump has been running at over 2 units/per hour for over a week to cover what the steroids do to blood sugars. I am happily on the taper off.
Blood work that was scheduled for my endocrinologist will have to be placed on hold for about 6 weeks so to clear all from system and hopefully get a realistic reading on my blood sugars as well as TSH, and overall control since treatment. The bilateral pneumonia was certainly a test, dodging another bullet is how my daughter put it, seeing as she recapped a few days and I am at a loss with all the antibiotics, narcotics, breathing treatments, and sleep (half-assed sleep at best). I have been doing a lot of resting, given all my body has encountered over the past 3short weeks, it is pretty amazing stuff. I can't hold back my enthusiasm for what has transpired within my body. I know that my attitude plays a role, but really, I am not sure how much of my attitude can play into the true happenings of chemical changes, physiology, cellular changes, all the scientific stuff that I have been .... well..... orgasmic ... LMAO ... over since treatment, the excitement can't be controlled, although I do try, it is hard not to see how I have taken on a new outlook overall.
The video clip posted prior to this post, if you just click on the center, will play the simple approach in which I underwent treatment. This company, AdiStem, is the protocol in which was used, and in researching of this company, they are doing amazing things with the science/medicine of stem cells. So I will promote both companies.
I also had my 3 week follow up call with ISCI and that was another positive in my day. I can't say enough about the care I received and the passion and humanity of the people I have dealt with.... and NO, I am not being paid by these people, (although I would love nothing more than to become a part of this amazing team). I will continue to pursue my research, continue to promote this institute and the work they do.
Ok ... well ... I know there is a whole lot more detail-wise that needs to be brought forward, but I have wash to fold and put away, and am about to chill down and call it an early evening with Maggie and the Thursday night lineup. I will make another post tomorrow with the dirty little details as to what will happen next.
I will also be returning to work bright and early Monday morning ... so a routine will have to come back into play pretty soon. But, with all the positive changes that have been happening, I am hoping for more energy and stamina to come back in the next 4-6 weeks, as well as the skin changes that will continue to get better according to patient advocate.
Life ... well ... is comfortable and content at present.
Peace and Light to all who continue to follow my progress!!
Have a wonderful evening!!
et
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tomorrow
Good Day!!
Well ... I feel pretty good ... overall. I am going to take today, do some much needed chores that have gone undone for WAY too long, and perhaps make this my last day of random napping. I need to spend the next few days getting my sleep hygiene back on track so that I can return to work next week without jeopardizing a setback. I really have had no choice but to listen to my body in recent weeks, all the recovery work going on in my body from cell level to the overall motivation of life.
I will meet with my doctor in the morning to review status, and clearance for return to work. My steroid taper will continue for a few more days, 6 or 8 I think. The stem cell interest was sparked in a big way last week while I was inpatient, today I will go make some more copies of info as my own personal PCP is now very interested witnessing what she did last week in my responses to such intense treatment. I am thrilled to share this information as I do feel it has been a wonderful and exciting happening for me. My blood sugars, in spite of steroids, are stable, and that in itself is a miracle given what sort of trouble they can have on diabetic blood sugars and kidney function. I am thrilled with this happening. My skin, is ... flipping beautiful if I do say so myself. Each day I see more elasticity, more "turgur" as Hillary puts it, the wrinkles I had so deeply embedded into my face, from stress, illness, decline in my own overall health, have diminished in such a way that almost everyone has noticed. My skin in general, is showing huge change in overall appearance. That is amazing stuff!!! My gut is back on track being home these past few days with a more normal flow of day-to-day food and activity. Blood flow to my feet, extremities, I can't even begin to think of what other sort of changes I may see in the coming weeks and months, and what to share. It has taken me 38 years of use and abuse of this body to get it to the status it was in prior to treatment. The ravage of disease wears a much deeper fault than a healthy person, and in today's society are any of us really healthy?? Think about it.... we have environmental factors that we either didn't have when we were kids, additive in almost everything we use in our day to day lives, we are afraid of dirt, which mother always said, "Wouldn't kill anyone," Killing us all. It just seems that life has gotten so fast, so electronic, so non personal, that we all move about life with no real connections. Don't get me wrong, I love my computer, TV, etc, but there are times that I long for a phone in which is plugged into a wall with a 30 foot cord. If you can't catch me that way, well ... then I guess you better leave a message and hope I get back to you. I miss that no one every answers their phones, if a caller ID tells you who is there, and you don't want to, well ... you don't pick it up. Good and bad, but I am missing a personal connection in life, and I have to admit, that in the past month, I have made personal connections that I will hold dear to me for the rest of my days. A connection, a brotherhood, a real life hope for good that can help many, many people, on many, many levels.
Ok ... well .... on that note, I have dishes and laundry to do and thus must start my day. I wish everyone a peaceful, productive, reflective day in which we can all come together to see a common ground of BETTER!!! We deserve it!!
Peace and Light
et
Well ... I feel pretty good ... overall. I am going to take today, do some much needed chores that have gone undone for WAY too long, and perhaps make this my last day of random napping. I need to spend the next few days getting my sleep hygiene back on track so that I can return to work next week without jeopardizing a setback. I really have had no choice but to listen to my body in recent weeks, all the recovery work going on in my body from cell level to the overall motivation of life.
I will meet with my doctor in the morning to review status, and clearance for return to work. My steroid taper will continue for a few more days, 6 or 8 I think. The stem cell interest was sparked in a big way last week while I was inpatient, today I will go make some more copies of info as my own personal PCP is now very interested witnessing what she did last week in my responses to such intense treatment. I am thrilled to share this information as I do feel it has been a wonderful and exciting happening for me. My blood sugars, in spite of steroids, are stable, and that in itself is a miracle given what sort of trouble they can have on diabetic blood sugars and kidney function. I am thrilled with this happening. My skin, is ... flipping beautiful if I do say so myself. Each day I see more elasticity, more "turgur" as Hillary puts it, the wrinkles I had so deeply embedded into my face, from stress, illness, decline in my own overall health, have diminished in such a way that almost everyone has noticed. My skin in general, is showing huge change in overall appearance. That is amazing stuff!!! My gut is back on track being home these past few days with a more normal flow of day-to-day food and activity. Blood flow to my feet, extremities, I can't even begin to think of what other sort of changes I may see in the coming weeks and months, and what to share. It has taken me 38 years of use and abuse of this body to get it to the status it was in prior to treatment. The ravage of disease wears a much deeper fault than a healthy person, and in today's society are any of us really healthy?? Think about it.... we have environmental factors that we either didn't have when we were kids, additive in almost everything we use in our day to day lives, we are afraid of dirt, which mother always said, "Wouldn't kill anyone," Killing us all. It just seems that life has gotten so fast, so electronic, so non personal, that we all move about life with no real connections. Don't get me wrong, I love my computer, TV, etc, but there are times that I long for a phone in which is plugged into a wall with a 30 foot cord. If you can't catch me that way, well ... then I guess you better leave a message and hope I get back to you. I miss that no one every answers their phones, if a caller ID tells you who is there, and you don't want to, well ... you don't pick it up. Good and bad, but I am missing a personal connection in life, and I have to admit, that in the past month, I have made personal connections that I will hold dear to me for the rest of my days. A connection, a brotherhood, a real life hope for good that can help many, many people, on many, many levels.
Ok ... well .... on that note, I have dishes and laundry to do and thus must start my day. I wish everyone a peaceful, productive, reflective day in which we can all come together to see a common ground of BETTER!!! We deserve it!!
Peace and Light
et
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
It's Tuesday March 1st ....
I can't believe that we are already into March 2011!!
Well ... I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep, but part of me wants to get up and run. I am beginning to feel better in the breathing department and that is a huge relief. I am in disbelief how fast, and hard one can go down with respiratory distress. People have been commenting on how hard I sounded just trying to talk last week while also trying to breathe. It was pretty bad according to medical personal who were taking care of me last week in the hospital. It was sort of like drowning, and it was not in any way pleasant. I am happy to say that breathing is much easier now, and I am regaining strength, and hoping the energy comes back soon as well. I will see the doctor on Thrusday morning to get the okay to go back to work.
In the stemmie department, i think things continue to make progress. My gut was in a stand-still while hospitalized, but I think that it was in large part due to all the antibiotics and narcotics they were pumping me full of every 2-4 hours for days. I have, since being home, slowly resumed a motility process. My blood sugars remain incredibly stable given the fact I am on prednisone, and although I was running at 3 units per hour while hospitalized, they remained stable, and even dropped into a low 48 at one point. That is unheard of given past experiences. Prednisone, or any steroid derivative can reek havok on blood sugars and kidneys alike. I am pleased with the results thus far, given that I am not really happy I hit this "set back" in overall status.
Ok ... well ... today, I am going to try and do something, other than sleep. I am going to attempt to go to the grocery store ... lol ... oh boy, one of my faves!! NOT!!
I will try and check back in later, if not, it's because I needed a nap, and well ... will check back soon.
Peace and Light
et
Well ... I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep, but part of me wants to get up and run. I am beginning to feel better in the breathing department and that is a huge relief. I am in disbelief how fast, and hard one can go down with respiratory distress. People have been commenting on how hard I sounded just trying to talk last week while also trying to breathe. It was pretty bad according to medical personal who were taking care of me last week in the hospital. It was sort of like drowning, and it was not in any way pleasant. I am happy to say that breathing is much easier now, and I am regaining strength, and hoping the energy comes back soon as well. I will see the doctor on Thrusday morning to get the okay to go back to work.
In the stemmie department, i think things continue to make progress. My gut was in a stand-still while hospitalized, but I think that it was in large part due to all the antibiotics and narcotics they were pumping me full of every 2-4 hours for days. I have, since being home, slowly resumed a motility process. My blood sugars remain incredibly stable given the fact I am on prednisone, and although I was running at 3 units per hour while hospitalized, they remained stable, and even dropped into a low 48 at one point. That is unheard of given past experiences. Prednisone, or any steroid derivative can reek havok on blood sugars and kidneys alike. I am pleased with the results thus far, given that I am not really happy I hit this "set back" in overall status.
Ok ... well ... today, I am going to try and do something, other than sleep. I am going to attempt to go to the grocery store ... lol ... oh boy, one of my faves!! NOT!!
I will try and check back in later, if not, it's because I needed a nap, and well ... will check back soon.
Peace and Light
et
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