Hello all !!
I hope everyone enjoyed their day yesterday, whatever it may have held.
Our day went pretty well. We had a really nice dinner, my dad had spent the night with Hilly and I, and a cousin and friend joined us for dinner. It all went very well, except I was totally exhausted by the time everyone left at 6:00 having been up since my usual 5:30 and on my feet cooking and making sure things were clean and neatly arranged. I even bought myself some fall flowers .... I needed the lift.... and to be honest, I think I am worth the 6 bucks once in a while....LOL.
Brian took my dad home about 5:00 while I did some cleaning up of leftovers and dishes, and Nancy and Hilly were chatting about fundraising, the yard sale, the posting of fliers. I really wish I had the stamina sometimes to go and go and go, and keep on going....... but I don't and I have to listen to my body, which I don't always do. Last night I crashed out on the couch a little before 8 only to be awoken about 10ish with a blood sugar of 34!! Not being totally coherent, I didn't realize that Maggie had been sitting right at my head, I think she had been trying to get my attention, then I saw the "dump" at the back door!!! LMAO ..... apparently she too, had eaten too much. I was not really with it, so I did what I had to do to raise my blood sugar, and cleaned up her mess and let her out to try again. She was up again at two !! We then got up with Hillary at 5:30 as she got ready for work, and I laid back down. So.... here it is 9:30 and I feel like I have been hit by a bus, will take a shower, take Maggie to the park so she can do some running, and go to my dads to pack up some more "stuff" ..... which is turning into a never ending task, and an incredible emotional drain.......but unfortunately, it needs to be done and I want to try and get it all settled prior to any trips to San Francisco.
On Weds. afternoon I got a call from Debbie, the transplant nurse coordinator for the trial. All my paper work had been reviewed, it was all in, and we have a hold up!!! I was so totally disappointed when she said that, I had to catch my breath. In spite of the fact that I had a dobutamine stress test in July of 2007 (a chemically induced stress test which is far from pleasant). The trial requires that one be done within a year of trial participation. Which means I am going to have to undergo one again, preferably before the end of the year so as I don't eat a huge bill I can't afford. So I will be making a call to my local cardiologist in just a few minutes to see what can be done. The fact that I have a cardiac history, my 3 ablations to correct that nasty arrhythmia that was taking me down a few years back, with no issues since, the last one was negative. So ..... I can only hope and pray that another one can be covered in this time frame through my insurance, and that I in fact pass it without any complications. It really is an unpleasant experience. They pump you with this chemical to induce a heart rate of a certain level .... (the dobutamine) .... when your heart races at a pace that you may have just run for your life for 3=5 minutes and your heart feels like it is going to explode out of your chest, the feeling of "Yak" is what comes to the forefront of my mind. I am sure, that it will not be the most unpleasant thing I experience in my future, but it is not something I will look forward to.
So..... that is where it sits at the moment. I will most likely not be making my first trip before the first of the year, but .... it is still looking pretty good. I need to pass this test again, which I think I will, but with the stress levels and emotional upset that I have been carrying around with me for the last year, and having to deal with so many other's issues and whining, it all has a tendency to build up and leave a sense of havoc on ones mind and body. So .... maybe there is a trip over the mountain to Sedona one of these days soon for a day trip of walking the paths of healing ..... hell, I rub rocks and hum too if I thought it would make a difference .... LOL .... the scenery in Sedona is so breathtaking, that it sort of acts like the ocean always had for me, a sense of calming to regroup and realize that in the big scheme of things, I am just a small speckle, and to maintain a focus of what I find to be important for me, but a dose of ocean air and the smells of the water and sand, is something I could REALLY use. It was a place my mom and I always went to, often times together, ..... it was sort of weird in hind sight, the ocean, where you see to infinity, hearing the sounds, taking in the smells, listening .... it was truly a calming experience ..... hard for me to explain. Some people go to church, I prefer to go to the coastline and just listen, close my eyes and feel what could be.
Ok ... enough of that sort of chat ... LOL .... I was putting myself to sleep there :D
I have to get it in gear and be slightly productive .... and on that note, wish everyone a wonderful, relaxing weekend !!!!!!
Talk soon,
Peace
et
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