Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Another good read on the stem cell front

I don't discriminate ... good info, is good info ...

http://www.stemcellmx.com/controlling-stem-cells-new-breakthrough/

Artifical Pancreas update

http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/26/health/artificial-pancreas-diabetes-patients/

An excellent article on the progress of the artificial pancreas.  This is just another option for the cure. Although I know it has been in the works for years, and now with potential FDA approval, I wonder what the cost to an average patient will be, and what sort of loop holes we may have to jump through to get placed on a list to have one. There is no doubt criteria in which must be met prior to being accepted for one. As a patient, I just am always shaking my head as to WHY there must be so much politics involved in the care of the American public, not just the rich.

Enjoy the article, I think the JDRF on on course to conquer soon, this project, and research into the stem cell avenue as well. Check out their website off to the right or www.jdrf.org

Have a wonderful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et

Monday, November 28, 2011

No Lies

Hey All!!

I hope that all who celebrated had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoyed the nice long weekend.
I will not lie, and this will be a short post. I am down, anxious, tired, I hurt physically (lots of tossing and moving been taking place). I want change for myself for 2012, I want it now. I am anxious over so many things, and with this being the first holiday season without my parents have been adding to the depression. Every time I look or say something to my girl child she starts crying or looks like she just lost her best friend. She is missing my mom most of all right now. My mother was such an influence on Hillary's outlook on life, education, and relationships. I keep trying to reassure her that Grandma may not be here physically, but I do believe that she is with us, in our hearts, and watching proudly from above. I too, miss her terribly lately. I just wish I could talk with her again, long, long, long talk. There are so many things that remain on my plate, that all seem to be some sort of life altering happening, and I can't avoid these things. I know, and am prepared for the fall out, or success of such actions, however, I feel very much alone in recent months. I am also very excited about what my near future may hold for me, again, I would like to have someone close to be able to share it with me and laugh and cry at the accomplishments I hope to attain. 

I am taking a weekend to spend with a dear friend of mine, this too, I am feeling anxious about, too many wierd happenings, dreams, feelings, etc. ..... are these signs?? If so I don't want to miss them ... I can be a little dizzy at times and often find myself thinking, damn, if only .... well, I always try to go with my gut feeling, given my gut can be exceptionally sensitive, gives me a lot of those questionable moments. I am going to try hard to relax, enjoy our time together and the potential of talking to the other side ... heheheh .... we have tickets to see John Edward of "Talking to the Other Side" fame. I don't really expect anything, but how bizarre would that be to be singled out due to "chatter" or "loud discussions" from the other side. You know what the saying is, 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' The following week, .... well .... this is going to be a bittersweet accomplishment, but I am so incredibly proud of my 22 year old daughter and this major goal under her wing, and hopefully, having gained a little more wisdom in where and how she continues her life. I wish her the very best, much happiness, and the wings to fly where ever her heart and mind want to go. 

Thanks for your continued support in my quest to find the cure, and promote the adult stem cell treatments.

I wish you all a relaxing and peaceful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a very blessed, loving, peaceful, and joyous Thanksgiving!!!

HT and I will spend a few hours with friends .... and I am recovering from a lingering infection from my surgery last month.  I am very thankful for all my friends and loved ones who make me feel just that, LOVED!! For that I will be forever grateful for your friendships and love, and of course, all the laughs we have shared. 

Peace and Light
et

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Trivial Stats ...

Hey everyone ...

While taking a break from my to-do list today, I am here checking to see the happenings of this past week in blog terms. The US was 1st in readers this past week with 35, and coming in 2nd, one of my all-time favorite places to visit, the Netherlands!! I was under the impression that stem cell treatments are being done in the Netherlands?? Anyone help me out with this information?? This is a place in which if I had a clue how I could do it, would relocate to this rich place of friendly people, beautiful scenery, rich in history and culture, just a great city was Amsterdam, I had such a wonderful time that I wished my trip could have lasted just a little bit longer.  Although I speak no Dutch, and had a hard time understanding sometimes, the people were fun and friendly, and very helpful. Was just a beautiful place .... thank you to my friends abroad!!! <3

Top 5 were --- US; Netherlands; Romania; Germany, and Canada!!

I find this just amazing and awe-inspiring. I don't think I am anyone special. I am just a single mom, of a now adult daughter, trying to make it ... or at this point, I'm just trying to survive in a manner in which I am not losing any more of my already precious energy. Hoping that now that I find myself very much alone in my cocoon, the lil-one wanting to fly the nest (as she should) and no one to care for other then myself, that I should come to some sort of terms with what may or may not lie ahead for me. Currently, as in this moment, I am still not feeling right, spoke with the girl-child earlier and her and her nurse were trying to talk me into going into the ER. As noted in the earlier post, I apparently have a staph infection, those don't usually just go away with one course of antibiotic. All the issues I have had in regard to this latest removal of yet some more of me, I am just so beat up. This insurance company needs some serious renovations, just like the folks that contracted with them. I am just so tired, achy, weak, dizzier than my norm :D and odd ... and nothing is touching the pain of the deep areas of tissue. Oh well, I am currently sitting in the chaise with a cup of New England Cranberry Tea and heating my neck. Dog is actually on another piece of the furniture tonight, she has been right at my side, or on top of me, beside me, but always having contact since prior to my surgery. I hope that is a good sign ... either that or she is just pissed at me for not being able to sit still, not being able to get comfortable.

I wish I had a built in masseuse these days, and a jacuzzi ... I would be and could be, very content with those pieces of relief in my life .... and a few more bushes to ensure my privacy. Dreamin' .... I'm always dreaming.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
John Lennon


Wishing the world a peaceful evening.
Peace and Light, ... and serenity.
et

Not at my Best

Good Saturday Afternoon;

I'm sorry I haven't made a post in a few days .... I haven't been at my best, and that is stating it mildly. I have been sick to my stomach now for almost 3 weeks. I saw the surgeon on Weds. morning, I thought for sure I would have been cut loose, however, it seems as though all that was drained from my incision is/was harboring a staph infection.  Okay, well, I thought my gut issues, being dizzy, feeling like I just want to ... your know, RALPH!!? I have very little appetite as nothing tastes all that great, and my gut, is just so nauseated. I don't want to irritate it any more than it already is. The water factor is another issue. I was on a sulfur based antibiotic for 10 days, like being sucked dry from the inside out. Figured maybe these were just residual effects....?? My incision looks good, I thought .... however, I must return in one week. Okay, so now I am thinking, is this infection eradicated yet or what?? My hips, pelvic area, and lower back have this horrible ache to them, like that portion of my body weights about 10x what it should.

I've been trying to do some cleaning, rearranging, etc. We do have a holiday, a graduation, a holiday open house, etc .... maybe no one will show up .... I can finally see my living room again, my dad having passed 3 months ago yesterday! I still have belongings I am just not interested in keeping, have divided up some photos and things that brought back childhood memories of some sort and placed them in appropriate boxes for each sibling. I am no doubt going to pay for this as well.  I have dished out more of my own $$ on this, that I think the rest of them can divide up any cremation costs and whatever else THEY want to do. I have my memories, and NO ONE can take those away from me. I hold them close, and they mean so much more than any piece of material possession. My mother made sure I had those prior to her passing. At this time of year, I find myself missing her OH so much. I could and would be so comforted to feel her close ... we had this hand holding thing .... so many of our photos together showing us holding each others hand.

Oh well ... As much as I know it happens to even the best, I am blue on so many fronts I can't see straight. I feel as I have just been spinning now for weeks and am going absolutely no where. My blood sugars have been sort of up and down, I think it is in part to stress at work, stress at home due to works inability to manage as proactive instead of reactive, and the constant rewarding of bad behaviors.  I had my surgeon appointment, and a dermatology follow up on a few "spots" we have been watching for the past 6 months, being told the only one looking suspicious and presenting as classic basal cell skin cancer is right on my freakin' lower eye lid!!! Yes Sir, I want you hacking at what little face I have that remains presentable. I couldn't cope with the cut on Weds, so we will let this one ride .... 3 months was what I was given ... then it comes off ... I am in desperate need of a stemmie booster, and am really hoping and praying that it happens in the next couple of months, and perhaps .... right here in the US!!!

I need to try and move again, like I said, I'm not feeling right, and my blood pressure keeps dropping to where I get dizzy .... I'm taking it slow, but I need to take it now.

Wishing Everyone a wonderful weekend, a week of happy and safe travels ....
Remember to be thankful .... I have so much to be thankful for ... I just want to reflect on that at this time and prepare for what the future holds.

Peace and Light
et

Friday, November 11, 2011

My Balls have fallen ...

OMG !!! BEWARE - IGNORANCE ABOUND!!!

Thought I would at least say something if I was going to scream. :)

Recap - check last post titled "WOW."
This past week, and a short one at that, has been pure and total hell. I know I have been dealing with some pretty stressful shit in my own life.  At work, as stated earlier, I in all reality came back to a mess due to others not doing and/or caring about how thier tasks directly affect other's job duties, causing delays, .... and a few other things as well.  Piss-poor management .... (sorry, this post my become heated with no real notice ... hehehe). I have had a day or so to let the ultimate effects of the happenings this week when on Wednesday I was ready to pack my boxes and all the shit I have that is mine in the office due in part to ... inadequate working conditions. This is so not funny, however, I was working in a basement @ the hospital and freezing my ass off for 8+ hours a day for a year and no one gave a shit if I was cold.  More than 1 co-worker began complaining ... or as it became by Tuesday...constant bitching. I sit right behind the front desk, in an enclosed office with another. I had not only the door closed, but my headphones into my iPod and I could still her bitchin' through the glass. This turned into 4+ hours of people convening outside our office door. PEOPLE!!!! Ok .. you get the picture. On Wednesday morning I came in to an email stating was going to be paid for only a certain amount of hours because I apparently ran out of EIT time with no notification. This was an issue that I had thought of, and it wasn't like the "uppers" didn't know the situation, i.e., not only my close coworkers, but my supervisor, and the illustrious "OZ" (this is my latest visual, you know, Oz, blowing smoke up your ass from behind the curtain??). I put in for my time as recommended by the surgeon, I had the note x2 due to the infection and then being out another week, and now restricted until 11/17 (yes, that is a week away!) This email states at 7:55 PM the night before, that my check will be short this week. "Just wanted you to have a heads up."  "A HEADS UP!!!" Sorry folks, but less than 12 hours prior to payday IS NOT a heads up, it is more like a think quick!!!  When I responded to the almighty Oz, I had an attitude, I was pissed to put it mildly. EVERY single time I have had to deal with Oz for the past year-to-14 months she pulls some two-faced move on myself and a couple of others I know of personally. I apparently know more than I care too. In any event, with the already late 1st of the month bills, I only took home less than half of what a normal pay period looks like, putting me not only behind at work, but 2 months behind in reality at home as well.  What made me go off was not only my continuing recovery (although physically better this week), but all the petty complaining of the same scenarios, same characters, MAJOR lack of, if any, communication, and ... NO change ... it's like watching Ground Hogs Day ... 100 times in a row. Sorry, but I don't think too many people would find it remained as amusing after so many repeats. Redundant, and sucking the morale out of those left that have been continually cleaning up the messes.  When the problems are staring you right in the face, and you have facts to back them up, consequences should be paid. I know, hands down, I irritate some people, however, I also know, that if people ENJOY coming to work, they do a good job, excel, etc.  I have given more than a 100% of my healthy time to this place, know that as a support member of the docs/NP/techs/counselors, you get it .... you have all heard the term, "shit rolls downhill"? .... and then the clincher .... and all I know was this email came in just as I was leaving on Wednesday from what I would refer to as a "rent-a-doc". This 30-something ,high maintained little 'dahktah' ... LMAO ... had the class of a highly-educated professional, to in one line, take me down like I hadn't been taken down since I was married!!! You have heard me write before, I don't care what sort of initials you have after your name, there is no need to talk down to people. I try not to do this, and I try to do this by keeping things comfortable. I am not a "Stepford" worker, or human being either. I have a life, lame as it may be for some, I don't need this mentality from a person I am too show up for work for to SUPPORT and she is calling me "arrogant."

What can I say??.. she pushed my last dying button.  I shot off a snotty little one liner myself to the people she felt are going take care of me. She wants no more communication with the "arrogant transcriptionist!" BITE ME BIMBALINA, I'm the coder!!! I was seething at this point. I haven't been the pissed/which in reality was a deep, deep hurt.  For the 1st time in many years, yes, even with disagreements in relationships, have I been spoken to in such a tone ... and a doctor to boot. I admire your education, you may know a whole lot more than I, however, your words were harsh for someone you only met for 30 seconds and feel you are "entitled," ROFLMAO ..... yep, I am laughing now. I live by, and have raised my daughter, that respect is a 2-way street.  This provider started with a clean slate, she messed up, she messed up again, and again, each time becoming more demanding, i.e., this is how I do it, it's approved by Harvard, BFD!!!  .... (Hello, she has no idea Harvard is my neck of the woods ... hehehe..... for all I know Hillary's baby stroller is still hanging off the little walking bridge there in Harvard square. :D

Let me tell you all a little secret, and I think some out there may even affirm this statement .... I may have been born and raised in a small mill town, and my parents my have been considered "blue-collar" workers, my parents, more my mother, made sure that we understood respect and manners. No, I don't always have manners when I state things so crudely at times, call it my rough edge. Everyone who knows me will tell you I try to appear as though I have a very hard, tough outer shell. Well, I am born under the sign of the Crab, and my mother often told me that it was totally appropriate for me. :) I do like to believe that people are good, but this was just one more example of poor management, unethical and down-right mean demands on those who are you main back bone under the providers. I am tired of being treated like a doormat, again, not having felt like this since the early 90's.  I swore that I would never become a victim of that again, I don't care if you are male OR female.

Let's wrap this up, I need to get off the box ... hehehe....I am off today, praise the Gods!! With the exception of 2 side job projects which need to be completed and sent off. Then I am going to do some cleaning as we (a friend came over to help Hilly) moved some furniture around last night, I had to supervise as Nurse Ratchet was in the house. :) She is still looking out for me despite me telling her it's all lookin' good. She doesn't want me to push it, understood, however, I need to keep me as busy as possible and get all this stuff accomplished in time, 4 weeks from yesterday ... lol... she is totally stoked. Apparently my friends, who also work with me, have decided I am depressed, and yet another one on the band wagon of "your life sucks!" .... all in good humor of course, but I think they are right. I can't even keep track anymore lately ... time for some more stemmies. 

Ok kids, I need to go "prick" as I am feeling 'fuzzy' and I get the impression that perhaps I wandered a bit in my thoughts and expression the last couple of paragraphs. I do know I used NO real names, and no places .... LMAO .... 

Forgive me ... it's how I felt.

Wishing everyone a great weekend.
Thank a Veteran and/or an active military member for the right to speak like this out in Cosmo.

Peace and Light ... and respect!!!
et








Tuesday, November 8, 2011

WOW

Hey Folks,

I have had quite a week and it's only Tuesday!!
Work was unbelievable when I returned to the office last week. I was completely caught up when I left for my surgery and as usual, someone else feels that what their job may be doesn't affect anyone else. GGGRRR ..... needless to say, I am now behind almost two months!!! I was not the happiest of campers upon return to find all that, and on top of that, withing 15 minutes after arriving was thrown into a 3 hour meeting that I was unprepared for. The usual ........ seems like all we ever hear is lip service.  I am trying to  just take it as it comes. I can only do so much in a 6 hour day, being on restriction until the 17th when I see the surgeon again. (it does appear and certainly feels a LOT better). Like that wasn't enough "job duties" were added to my already overloaded day. I do a lot of shaking of my head lately.

On another note, my baby girl is about to graduate on 12/10 with her nursing degree. I am so incredibly proud of her for the commitments she has taken, the sacrifices she has made, the losses she has suffered since graduating high school and working so hard for the past 3 1/2 years... she has finally made her goal a reality.  At least the main part of her goal ... hehehe .... she plans on continuing her education but wants to take a year or two to get her hands dirty. I have no doubts she has what it takes to be a real driving force in the field of medicine.  I am just hoping she stops a little now and then to enjoy life.  She so deserves a few positive happenings for all she has put forth into the world, the community, ME .... and all the help she was caring for my parents with me. She is going to be one kick-ass nurse!!!

Ok kids, well ... it's past my bedtime, I just got my laptop back up and running after Maggie put me out of commission for a week feeling the need to lie across my lap and slamming her big head down, and not so gracefully, onto my keyboard. Not sure what she hit, but I had to reconfigure all my network settings, etc for my laptop. Someone apparently forget to tell her that she is NOT a lap dog!! (She sits right here to my left, and she seems to always have to have contact.) She is 70 pounds of pure lovin' .... but doesn't have to be on my lap. :D I'm the master, and she stays close, sometimes trouble-causing close.

On that note ... lol......(thinking I should come up with some other phrases), I am taking my dog and going to bed. I need to get my rest as I am still sort of wiped out when I get home and the child thinks I am doing too much too soon, I disagree, I just need to take care of me, and I have always pushed myself.  As I age, I do know I can't go nonstop anymore, pacing myself is still an issue ... I want it done ... NOW.  :P

Sweet dreams my friends!!
Take care of YOU!!
Peace and Light
et

Saturday, November 5, 2011

It's never ending

Hello WebWorld!!

Well, the human body continues to amaze me. However .... I could and would be more than happy to be amazed using someone else's body as the vessel of amazement!!! This past Tuesday morning, after being told by surgeons office last Thursday, to "massage it" for the weekend and see what happens. "Swelling is normal." Not like this pal... there is NOTHING normal about the swelling I was trying to cope with ... and OMG .. the pain was something I don't think I have ever experienced. The sensations were hard to describe. In any event, I had that date with the BFN (Big F'in Needle) on Tuesday morning, and despite my anxiety about the BFN with no local, I did just fine and the relief was almost immediate when he drained the excessive amount of fluid and proceeded to tell me that I was "infected."  Since that appointment I have returned to work  hours a day for two weeks.  Sitting and/or standing for more than a couple to three hours at a time is just too much.  There is still swelling, bruising is clearing up, and the ache seems to be subsiding slightly. Hopefully, after the antibiotic run, things will be looking up. 

With all this going on, and my limited ability to push, pull, or lift anything more than 5 pounds, it has made wiping out the remaining mess from my parent's belongings, thus holding me in limbo as to weather I want to have our open house/grad party here at the house, or get a hall and haul stuff all over the county. All this is coming up quickly.  Thanksgiving, graduation, I have a weekend to Vegas on the books. and then Christmas ... I guess ... that given there will be no one here this year except for Hillary and I, the holidays will have to become something of a new tradition as what my mother was able to accomplish in this respect isn't something I think I could replicate. So it will be a holiday season of no doubt, reflection, sadness, memories of holidays gone by, and a method of moving forward, to take these memories and put them to the best possible use for us.  I have discovered, that it is not all about family, but that of the friends and loved ones who make us feel loved throughout the year, that we rejoice in our love for each other and continue to grow in our relationships.  I am still a big fan of those sorts of romanticized relationships, if you will, closeness that is felt between people, for whatever reason. 

With the kickoff to the holiday season, let's remember not to forget ourselves. Take care of us, heart and soul, mind and body .... there is nothing worth risking our health or well-being for, and money can't buy us that.

For now, wishing the world a wonderful weekend!!

Peace and Light
et