Another very promising article

Thanks to a cousin for sharing this very interesting article.

Would love to hear some feedback on this article. It is the first I had heard of anything like this.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-24/generic-tuberculosis-medicine-shows-promise-for-reversing-type-1-diabetes.html

Peace, Light and Serenity
et

PS: I forgot to mention there was yet another snag in the scan. It was scheduled on Tuesday and cancelled on Weds due to an apparent oversight on someones part, the insurance company denied the test, scan and/or biopsy. Am thinking that perhaps the insurance company will also be a target of a suit if it is possible, and without a doubt if there is something life altering found.

Just some trivia info

Good Morning again ...

I just have to tell you all .. today, 6/21/11, the first day of summer, the sun moving into "Crab" mode ( I am born under this sign) .... and ..... as of today I believe my page will hit the 5000 hit mark!!! I sit here and shake my head in amazement as I had no idea when I started this blogging process that anyone, never mind people would hit it 5000 times to date. This really makes me ponder ... LOL ... who are all these readers, what keeps them coming back? I know some read anonymously, that is fine, I have my 14 registered followers, who for the most part, also read anonymously unless they leave a comment. THANK YOU!!!

Again, it just blows me away that anyone really cares about my ranting and raving, and how it affects my life, and health care ... but, I really think that if my ranting peaks only a few minds, than I have done a great service on a small level. I am, however, only one voice. A "big mouth" as my mom called me at times, especially if I was passionately upset .... lol .... if I believe in something, I can get loud, and I do consider myself passionate about the things I have been voicing in recent months. I am going to set up my cause this month on the FB page as "stemmies" .... I need more stemmies ... we all need stemmies!!! We need to get this science to the forefront of medicine, and keep the costs from the government and those that see nothing but $$ and not potential cures and treatments.

Ok ... well ... I wish there was a way for me to figure out who my 5000th reader would be .... just to recognize you here on the blog. Something fun for a change ... yes, I can be the ultimate goof-ball ... or as my daughte is always reminding me ... I am certainly proud to "fly my freak flag!!" :D

A wonderful 1st day of Summer to everyone!!!
Peace, Light, and Tranquility
et

Points to Ponder today ...

Good Morning my faithful followers!!!

This attached link to an article on the MSNBC website this morning ..... something to ponder.
The UN ... worldwide ... what is wrong with this picture?? Why is this happening?? Why do we allow this to continue?? Good people are dying everyday because they don't fall into the proper economic class ... RICH!!

Would love to hear others comments on this topic as it is a real issue. If you are healthy, lucky you, if you have health issues/problems/disease, I feel your pain. If you are healthy consider this ... do you have any idea that it only takes a moment, only a moment, a split second and you could lose everything, and I'm not referring to just your health. Look at the costs, you have a nest egg, lucky you!!! Watch how fast it can get depleted ... watch how fast those who claim to love you run in the other direction for fear you may such their nest egg dry .... this has to stop. Everyone needs and deserves medical care.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43473027/ns/health-health_care/

Enjoy the read and have a wonderful day!!!
I am back to work this morning ... hope this goes well. I need to learn a new method of keeping calm in stressful situations, unfortunately, the entire organization is at a stress level out of control.

Thanks again to all who follow, send love and prayers!!!

Peace, Light, and Tranquility
et

Another loss in the music world

Condolences to the family, friends and fans of Clarence Clemons who passed away last night at the age of 69. He was the long-time sax player for the E Street Band (Bruce Springsteen). This man, known as the "Big Man" blew one hell of a horn!!! (I have a thing for horn players and blues guitarists .... hehehe) Check out any news outlet for the story. Below link from the Boston Herald.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/obituaries/view/20110618e_street_band_sax_player_clarence_clemons_dies/srvc=news&position=recent_bullet

Blow your horn; Blow your horn ..... to the big band in the sky ....

It's too bad the young people of today don't have a clue as to who these great musicians are .... or care. One day, this world is going to be very cold, and very empty if we can't bring back the arts, music, dance, etc., and spark a real interest in our young people, who can learn SO much from the older generation. Again, another legend lost!!!

Wishing everyone a Happy Father's Day ... and a Wonderful Sunday!!

On the health front; I am still sore, and forgot about the whole lifting more than 5 pounds for the next 7 days ... lol ... not that I lifted anything REALLY heavy, I just didn't want to make more than one trip into the house with groceries. I will take it slower today .... tomorrow I will be home, making lots of phone calls and seeing the doctor in the afternoon. Tuesday, it will be back to work and moving my butt into a new office .... all to pamper some broad who thinks she is that special, when in reality, she is a pain in the ass, who lies continuously and makes problems doing crap that is not part of her job to start with .... which is why my building is about to lose its easy going spirit due to the fact this woman HAS to be moved back in. No doubt, she sees this as some sort of promotion. Let's just say .... there are bets going on now as to whom will blow up and out on this woman first .... and odds are not on me as the front runner for a change .... LOL .....

Enjoy the day!!!
Peace, Light, and Tranquility
et

Small vessels vs. Small vessel disease

Hi everyone!!

Well ... it has been yet another week from hell for not only my body, but my emotional well-being.
As you all know I have been dealing with this lymph node issue for what seems like WAY too many weeks now. On top of that, which I will touch base on here in this post, I was taken by a co-worker on Weds afternoon to the ER due to severe chest pain, along with some of those "tell-tale" signs and symptoms. We thought, I thought, I was having a heart attack. Hillary met us in the ER ... where I was taken immediately in to triage and sent back to the waiting room and told, "if it gets worse come tell us." Hillary and I pulled up a spot. Hillary was telling me she had hoped I hadn't gone through the door knowing that once in, I couldn't go to another hospital without being deemed one of those who leaves AMA. I can tell you now, I know this is a legal loophole for everyone except the patient. In any event, it didnt' seem to take all that long before the pain began to intensify yet again. I had done the usual protocol in the event one thinks a heart attack is in process, having taken aspirin prior to leaving the office. Hilly notifies the nurse of the pain, I get moved back to the unit and placed in a bed ... in the hallway!! ... and thus, the saga begins .... my pain continued off and on for the rest of the afternoon. It took 4 nurses, and multiple, and I do mean multiple sticks, some exceptionally painful for someone (a paramedic) to get a line in ... and all of this took place over a 2 hour period. Not only that, I was deeply pissed ... and I am being really calm in my language here as I was beyond livid in the midst of this experience. Not only did they not offer me nitroglycerin until after the line was in .... the ego and attitudes of a couple of these nurses was enough to send me into a thought of risking assault, as that was how I was feeling. One nurse in particular, with a snotty, "I've no doubt done this more times than you have," and then proceeded to push a needle in over a knuckle and out the skin one inch away. I let out a rather sudden screech as it hurt as though she had scraped bone, and then had the nerve to back away from me and state "I'll continue when YOU calm down." Excuse me bitch, but you just had your last attempt!! Take the needle out and get the hell away from me before I reach out and touch someone!!! At this point, I am still in chest pain, but now I am also experiencing multiple other forms of pain. YES, I needed a few minutes to regroup and calm down. Needless to say, this same nurse was the one who came back over an hour later to offer up the nitro, and I can honestly say, it was her attitude and demeanor which will be key in my conversation with an attorney come Monday morning. All that being said, I was not a happy camper when after multiple tests, i.e., chest x-ray, EKG, and approximately 6:00 pm now, the ER doctor comes and tells me that all my blood work is normal, but ... he is going to admit me given my "risk factors." This phrase is one I have heard so many times over the years that I feel like smacking some of these doctors. Lately, I see this as them looking at me as a "cash cow." When I started to get a little irritated with this request I said I had no desire to remain in this facility. He then hits me with this AMA crap and telling me that I could go home and have a major heart attack, or worse, I could have a heart attack and die!! OOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm scared ... I respond to him, in no uncertain terms, that "I could be hit by an F'in car in your parking lot out here ... and DIE!!" So what is your point....??? Needless to say, this argument went on for several minutes and I lost after a heated discussion with my daughter on the insurance issues and the cost of a potential bill coming in that could put us on the street. So I am held hostage in my opinion, in a facility that in recent months has not been top of my number one facilities in this state. By the time I was placed in a bed on the floor, I had recapped the afternoon, and came to the conclusion that a lawyer was to be consulted. I had been in the facility over 2 + hours never given anything for pain, anxiety, or the nitro to help alleviate the chest pain ... in my opinion, that is negligence at the top of the list in heart attack protocol. Next day comes, morning is loaded with tests, first one in which I flunk with chest pain, and an irregular EKG, another ultra sound of my legs as one of the blood tests comes back elevated for blood clot possibility. When I got to CT lab, woman says she can't do test due to size of the line in my hand (you know, that one that took over 2 hours to get in), and we decide that seeing as I flunked the stress test, we would wait and discuss the next step with doctor and my nurse. Upon my return to my room I am informed that I will be taken to the cath lab in 30 minutes. Needless to say, the search for a possible blood clot was aborted .... now, a blood clot was apparently found on one of the ultrasounds done a few weeks back. No one told me about this ... I found out via a report I read when I requested all the records since my pneumonia stay in February.

OK .... well .... are you seeing anything wrong with how I feel at this point?? I'm still tired ... and Is till don't feel good ... and the way I see it, this is doing nothing for my already high stress levels, which in turn doesn't help the present situation.

Now ... oh this gets better. I made a couple of nasty comments in regard to this doctor that was covering, yet again, for the doctors who act as my PCP. He apparently was the man who glanced in a negative manner my way while I was in the hall, and I responded with my signature comment .... most of you know what this statement is so I will not type it out .... LOL .... I don't really care who heard it, or anything else I said that evening as this is what I felt to be the truth. I also made comment about the staff standing around 6 deep at the counter pissing and moaning about their budget cuts, and being short staffed, etc. Hello ... I too, deal with this at work, and although I may not work directly with patients, I find it VERY inappropriate for this sort of discussion to go on in front of patients, and an ER is in no way the place to hold the conversation. That was to make me feel more warm and comfy as a patient, right....???

Again ... so many inappropriate happenings. Yesterday, I get a call from the operating room nurse stating that they had 2 consents signed, neither of which were something that was done, and one, that wasn't taken care of ... and that was for the cardiac cath ...hmmmm .... seeing as this is part of what I do for a living ... this again, in a compliance issue in which I also will consult an attorney on. If something should happen to me .... I can only hope that they all work for my daughter one day!! This "Clown" as I referred to him in the ER, who oversaw my care for 21 hours, and I will say, he went out of his way to make an impression, but too, bombed as he discharged me with NO paperwork on the cardiac cath and what should or should not be done over the next 7 days. He then told me I could go back to work, but didn't document any of it, therefore, I couldn't go back to work and now can't until Tuesday as work won't let me come back without a doctor note. It was also stated in the ER that I had "small vessels." It would appear that there is a difference between small vessels and small vessel disease which was what they diagnosed after the cardiac cath. I don't show any signs of heart disease, which is good, as I hadn't shown any disease 5 years ago either. But, was told I had small vessels after my ablation procedures out of Tucson 5+ years ago. What the hell is the difference ....??? and in my opinion ... this, again, is some sort of verbalization by staff at this local facility to cover their asses!!!

And... on my last rant for today .... yesterday, I call the insurance company to report the admit and while I have them on the line decide I will check on the preauth for the PET scan to address the lymph node only to find out they have nothing on file and nothing has been received from the doctor office ....off to the doctors office ... and the woman doing this is scrambling now knowing that I know, and stating and showing me a form, I state, the filled out form does me no good if the insurance company doesn't have it yet....  again ... incompetence on so many levels .... how long does one have to wait??? I know this is going on all over this country, my question to you all is what makes the health care here in the US so much better than countries that have socialized medicine?? I am seeing no difference in the arguments of one waiting so much longer in that arena. So now I have to see my PCP ... again.... on Monday afternoon, to get not only a note to go back to work, but lets see how she responds when her orders upon leaving town, have yet to be carried out due to the fact this last phase of this "STAT" order is still in linger mode. I;m signing off now as all this frustration only adds to the recurrence of chest pain ... and I need to try and remain calm ... really, I am seeing why people give up ... why people become uncaring, unsympathetic, etc in regard to life going on ... everyone life will go on .... how healthy it goes on, or with whom may be in it, remain unanswered. I understand more and more every day to my mother's disicion to be "done" with medical science as they were doing the same thing with her, test after test knowing full well that there was nothing that could be done, only a dollar sign in how much can we suck this person and their insurance for before they see the light, and say ENOUGH!!!

On that note, I wish you all a wonderful weekend  .... do what makes you happy!!!
Peace and Light
...and I think I should add tranquility to this sign off :D
et

Did make it ...

Morning ...

I will keep this brief. I didn't make it to Phoenix for the PET scan. Unfortunately, it would seem that there is no one in a medical position manning the office and I am STILL waiting on the insurance comanpany authorization. This in and of itself, irritates me to no end, it is totally uncalled for given the results they have to base an opinion on, and continued symptomatology.

Yesterday afternoon I was taken from my office to the local ER with chest pain/symptoms of a potential heart attack. This too, turned into an encounter I could have done without. Not only that, at one point I think I just threw my arms up said "fuck it," and told Hillary I was done being a good patient. Although I was taken in almost immediately given the fact I said I was having chest pain,I was triaged, and asked to wait back in the waiting room. That didn't last too long seeing as pain became intense again and  I was taken back and placed in a bed located in the hallway (they were that busy, I guess), then ... after hooking me up to a monitor spent the next TWO hours and multiple people and pokes to get a line in .... THEN they offered me up nitroglycerine .... REALLY ...???? It was not until they gave me the nitro that my chest pressure has subsided completely, up until that point, it came in went, in various waves of intensity. Ok ... well ... as many of you can imagine, I'm not a happy camper at this point and my frustration is eating at me in more ways than one. I continue to lay in the hallway, as the staff bitches within ear shot of patients about their woes, budgets, short staffing, etc. (I can relate to this, I too, am dealing with it where I am employed) However .... it is a service area of employment .... and the patients, me being one at times, need not hear some of these comments when experiencing pain and/or didiscomfort. (something that I am experiencing at this moment) I should call the nurse, however, it is shift change, and my guess is they are all too busy, so I am going to wait the 10 minutes to see if the doc shows up at 7:00 as he stated. Maybe it will pass ... I will NOT stay in this hospital to undergo any sort of invasive procedure ... i.e., an angiogram and possible stent placement ... NOT HERE KIDS!!!

Ok ... nurse just came in. Nothing by mouth now until my test at 8:30 (my guess is doc will not be here in 10 minutes) ... I am tired, in so many ways ... I'm just wondering, how long does one continue to fight? I want quality, not quantity  ... that has always been my outlook, and will remain. I am all for teaching hospitals, but I will not allow the medical community to use me as their own personal cash cow, with a lets take a guess and see ... and lately, I don't have a lot of faith in the knowledge I am encountering. I haven't heard one real educated guess even ... oh well ... guess all this frustration with the medical community and health care status has me on edge and isn't in my best interest, i.e., you know, the big one might hit!!! What really ticked me off yesterday was when I told the doctor I didn't want to stay ... then he dealt me this AMA card ... WTF!! I though as a patient, I had the right to leave and seek care elsewhere ... apparently there are loopholes involved in that information. Hillary tried to catch me before my coworker took me into the ER as once I was in ... anything I decided (like to leave) would have been considered AMA.

So .. it would appear I am being held on protocol in a place I am not convinced is up to par in these days of budget cuts and staff shortages ... I feel, from a patients perspective, it is all about how much money can we make on this visit ...??? Now if someone would like to argue me wrong, have at it .... but .... I feel I have dealt with this profession long enough in my life to pull the good ones from the bad, and that the good ones are being held down, held back, and literally tied with the rules and regs put on them by the Federal Government and insurance companies!!

Ok ... well ... it is 7:00 .... I hear familiar voices .... and am going to close my eyes for the next 90 minutes until they come to get me for this stress/echo .... wish me luck!!!!

Enjoy the day!!
Peace and Light
et

Reality check ...

Sorry about the time between posts.

I have continued to not feel well, and show symptoms of low-grade, off/on fever, swelling, fatigue, etc over the past couple of weeks. This past week I came home early twice, and every day fought to make it through my eight hours.  Needless to say, not a whole lot got done when I finally got home. On Friday, I left early again with a fever and made calls to the doctors office. I am getting no where pretty fast, today, I am home again, looking and feeling like a Macy's day balloon (or at least that is how I feel). A call is in yet again to the doctors office on the authorization for this flipping scan. Tomorrow, if I haven't heard anything back I am going to plan on driving to Phoenix after work, by that time symptoms should be all good and clearly visible as everyone seems to see an "ill" look in my eyes by mid-afternoon. Why is this such an issue?? Better yet, why have I allowed it to go on for so many weeks now?? When I saw this "fill in" NP last week and she made the comment about "well, I can guarantee a scan won't show anything, after all, your not dead yet" was not my idea of a bedside manner on the plus side at this point. Where does a so called professional get off making a statement like that not knowing me at all? She had just met me 5 minutes prior!!! She has no clue what my long-term history, or family history is to go making comments like that, and if I am exhibiting symptoms repeatedly, and I have clearly visible and palpable "lumps" than I say SHUT YOUR MOUTH already and let's get to the bottom of this problem. I am sick and tired of fighting, and really am tired of the BS. I am feeling that this is the time I am not being my best advocate, and that someone else might have to step up pretty soon. I don't want to burden Hillary with this currently, so I just best "man up" and get 'er done.

Reality ... Reality bites!! Reality isn't the crap we watch on television, in fact, in my opinion, that is the furthest from reality a person can get. No one gives a shit about Paris Hilton, or these Kardashian broads, whoever they are anyway ... ?? These people wouldn't know reality if it bit them in the ass!! I was on a phone call yesterday with a woman (a neuropsychologist) in which I do some side work for at home. We have been working together now for almost 5 years, and although for the most part it is a professional relationship, she has taken a liking to me and has interjected her opinion on a couple of occasions. Yesterday, she started asking me some questions, not realizing that I haven't been as well as I put forth and my finally telling her (this is the 2nd or 3rd time) I am contemplating resigning from providing her services again due to my health status. Well ... this turned into a 40 minute phone call and her telling me she thinks I should contact this person to help me get my SSDI benefits reinstated and that it is "not giving up to lay around and watch television" but to slow down and not try so hard (kill myself) to put in 40 hours for a company that doesn't care anymore and is and has created a toxic environment for the employees. I was a little shocked that she became so verbal in her concern. She mentioned that she would like me to contact the Mayo Clinic down in Scottsdale as they are known for the clinical diagnostic area in which she feels I need currently based on my "long, complex medical history." Her concern really does touch my heart, and it was sort of a slap in the face as to my dragging my feet in recent weeks. Something is wrong, and part of me .... doesn't really want to know what it is anymore .....

Ok ... well ...  I really don't have a clue as to what is going on within my body. I don't believe that it has anything to do with my stemmies, other than I can't help but feel maybe I would be dead already without them. My blood sugars have been, if nothing else, the least of my problems in recent weeks as they seem stable and much easier to control .... even on the prednisone. However ... all the other things, and I have been documenting them in a small notebook I carry in my bag. Weeks of temps, aches, swelling, all the nodes that are now showing symptoms ... like my neck ... and my tongue ... along with the one in my groin area. Too much ... today I have been pretty much on the couch all day ... woke up just an hour ago and to be totally honest, could go back to bed for the night within the hour.

My plan is this ... tomorrow if symptoms appear and sustain, and I can bear not taking any Tylenol (Hillary says I need to let the fever ride or they won't treat it as a valid symptom) I am going to drive the 2 hours to Phoenix after work and present to the ER at the Banner Good Samaritan Hospital where the PET scan Center is located. If need be, they can evaluate, and review my records (which I will have with me) and go from there. Enough ... nothing is getting better, and it can't be good that it isn't subsiding or going away.

So ... how is that for reality ?? Part of me wants to, or wishes I could be in a position to undergo another stemmie treatment ... but ... perhaps I can connect with a team down in Phoenix which is interested in what I have undergone (I noticed the Mayo has some trials going on out of MN in this area) .... lots of "under the gun" trials and research is going on in stem cells, it is all in how they word it I guess as to how much they get away with in the US under the guise of politics and FDA rulings.

I'm losing my strength for fight ... being single, alone, and only support is that which is not direct contact, I am not sure what sort of fight this might be. I can't and won't expect Hillary to put her life on hold any longer to wait for me ... PERIOD!! I know she worries, I know she loves me, I know ... she will understand ... and be with me when she can, or if I ask her ... she is my best supporter ... but this too, is our reality!!

Ok ... well ... that is my complaint for today ... thank you, again, for continued prayers and as always .... those who follow me along this journey in which at times I wonder ..... what is the end result suppose to be??

Peace and Light
et

The lymph node saga continues

Evening all ...

Well, my afternoon was blown out of the water about 1:30 today. I received a call from the local hospital looking to schedule additional tests. OK ... well .... I returned the phone call to have some secretary tell me she was looking at an order to do an ultrasound. I told her, I had this ultrasound done on May 31. She says her order is dated 6/1. She tells me nothing more when I question as to "WHAT" I am being scheduled for. After some investigative questions, she tells me perhaps I should call the doctors office and see what is going on. HELLO .... I didn't initiate this call.

I call my PCP office, knowing she is out of town until 6/20 and that the order was originally for an ultrasound, with follow up biopsy should something show on the ultrasound. Now, we all remember I had the CT scan done of same area the week prior, apparently being told there was nothing out of the ordinary evident. OK ... now I am on the phone with office and getting more and more irritated as each question is asked. About an hour later, I get a return phone call and the woman tells me that my PCP's colleague will/wants to see me tomorrow and we will go over the results of the ultrasound. I ask, "why can't he just tell me what they want to schedule, and what the results say?" She states to me that he "will not talk to me on the phone, I need to come in." WTF .... I told her that I have a follow up appointment scheduled with my own PCP following her return and the original order in my hand as to WHAT was ordered and written. So, WHY, must I waste yet more time out of my work week to come in and "talk in person?" I can't begin to tell you all how irritated and on edge I am regarding the treatment of this little "swelling." This not only occurred almost 3 years ago, and has waxed and waned ever since, even through a couple of surgeries. Now, clearly evident that there is an issue, and twice in the ER in the past month, multiple tests, insurance company telling me they won't pay for a biopsy, yet, 3 screenings later at $$$ and still ... no word, no diagnosis.

All I can say is that I am not going to sleep well tonight, and that tomorrow could very well push me over the edge and contemplating a call to an attorney. If what gets said to me at 11:15 in the morning, no doubt messing with my lunch/work schedule, is not something worthy of my time, I am going to head down the mountain to a Phoenix hospital with reports in tow and I will make contact with an attorney as this is totally unacceptable in the realm of medical treatment. What ticks me even more, is that this sort of behavior in the medical communities is becoming the norm, not the exception. I will state it again, the United States is and has, fallen behind in not only medical treatments, knowledge, expertise, but, as I saw over the weekend on a CNN program, innovation all around, WE SUCK!!! This is NOT reality folks, this is ridiculous!!!

OK ... well ... now that I have spewed that word vomit all over the WWW, I will wish you all a restful, relaxing evening. I am off to a clean bed, with prayers for my sanity and own calming effect to help me make it through tomorrow and what is tossed upon me at that time.

Peace and Light
et

Happy Saturday!!

Just a quickie ...
Nothing really new to report. STILL no results from the ultrasound this week, doc is out of town, would appear that associates don't really give a "you-know-what" about someone elses' patients. So I will try and hound again on Monday.

In the meantime, breathing still has its moments, steroids, again, making the difference, but I DON'T like the other ill effects. So ... today, is the first day in several weeks, or so it seems, that I am about to venture out for the day and take care of some errands. I have been up for 4 hours, and have done some productive work already, hope I can hold on for a few more hours, get all that needs to be done today done on the outside, and then tomorrow, can relax, putter, and maybe get some of my indoor projects on the final phase.

Wishing everyone a relaxing and peaceful weekend!!

Peace and Light
et