Well ... I got the final travel and treatment email this afternoon. I do believe the slightest bit of reality and anxiety are beginning to set in. LOL .... I have to laugh, cause I don't want to cry ... I am saving that for the happy times!!
All is set, I just need to gather and pack what I will need (into 2 suitcases) as I will only take the basics on the jaunt for treatment, and a bigger bag to stay with friends upon my return for babysitting purposes until my State side follow up with my own endocrinologist on February 14th. I saw my PCP this morning, not really impressed, but sort of happy he made himself available if I need him prior to the next appointment in 6 months. I am happy in the sense that I would prefer my endocrinologist taking the reigns on this venture, and not having "too many cooks in the kitchen", so to speak. She knows me well, and she knows what I have been dealing with over the last several years and has watched it decline. I had my labs done, so I got copies to share with her and the doctor in Mexico. Let's just say I am thinking I would kill for a couple of Valium by weeks end ... LOL ... and they don't even effect me as they do others ... that is what is funny.
Anyway ... it is all coming down to the wire, and I am still not sure how I should be feeling ... ??? Any words of wisdom from folks would be of great comfort and relief ... hahaha ... no, really. It would seem that all of those around me are or seem to be more excited about this than I have shown. Trust me, I am on a cloud, for so many reasons, I have never had so many feelings/emotions running a muck at the same time ... at least that I can remember.
Well, I have to finish making my bed and get ready for work tomorrow, and gather some belongings for the trip.
Thanks to all!!
Stay warm and dry all of you about to get hit again, with yet another snow storm. I admire your stamina ... I couldn't do it anymore ... I would be in the house until May!! LOL ....
Peace and Light
et
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Treatment Overview
Good Morning my faithful followers!!!
Ok ... well ... today, is the worse day pain-wise I have had in a long time. The pain has been building and very steady over the past couple of weeks in great part due to the fact I haven't taken any Aleve in almost 2 weeks. NSAIDs have to be stopped prior to treatment. For many, you know I have been on multiple, if not most, pain meds over the years with no real relief and often times, side effects that could be potentially worse than the pain itself. My body hurts SO badly today that just moving makes me dizzy, nauseated, and wanting to throw-up. Most likely TMI for most, but this sort of pain can stop a person in their tracks. I have been dealing with chronic pain since 1995, and go through periods like this when stress levels are high, and pain meds are minimal to none. Last week at work, I have (along with a couple of coworkers) those bags that you can heat in the microwave to apply heat. Let's just say, between the 3 of us, we keep the microwave running ALL day long. I, need more than one bag at times, one for my shoulders and neck, and one for my lumbar spine. I have always tried to "keep it moving", but there are times, like today, that moving is truely something I can't do very well, and I have a TON of things to get done, and accomplished this week to prep for my trip. My attitude in this aspect as always been, keep it moving, don't complain, and just listen to my body. Today, I am seeing a nap in my very near future ... with heat on my spine, and no doubt wiping out the case of water I just opened yesterday.
Let's just say, the lack of any sort of pain med it certainly bringing to the forefront those "problem areas" in which I was told to tell the doctor about when undergoing my treatment next week.
In regard to the treatment, I would like to give you all a brief overview of what is going to happen, how, where, and what I have done to get here.
As you all know, this has been a long time coming, and not soon enough given the decline I have felt over the past couple of years. When my mom was ill, towards the end, I believe I was on autopilot, just going through what needed to be done and not paying much attention to my body screaming at me. All that sort of "family" stress has continued, only not in a state that has been even remotely rewarding. (That is not meant to be a derogatory comment). Caring for my mother, being part of her dying process was the most rewarding experience of my life next to giving birth to Hillary. It, and she, reinforced the grace under fire mentality, and the human factor that I would like to believe we all have. It was an experience, I will hold with me until the day I die.
With that being said, raising funds, awareness of not only Type I, but of the adult stem cell treatments being offered everywhere but here in the US, or at least that is how it seems. I had no idea that people would be so open to the knowledge I apparently have to offer ... LOL .... I am not a stupid woman. I do, however, have a very warped sense of humor, in which has worked incredibly well for me over the years in many ways. It helps keep me grounded, it helps keep me real, it helps others to see that in spite of what I deal with, I can and do still laugh. (Although, it would seem, to me, that my laughter is dimming, I feel it, I see it in my eyes). I don't want that to happen, and right now, with all that has happened in the past couple of months, and certainly in the past couple of weeks, has to keep me going, for a while. I want to prove to so many, mostly political, closed minded types, that this science is here, and we as Americans, should insist on being offered this sort of medical care, instead of bleeding those of us who kill ourselves just to keep alive, not including what others take for granted. To my "Angels" who made this dream, wish, fight, a reality, Thank you seems minor, I will be forever indebted to you for your generosity, love, and hopes right along with me for a better future. I am totally and completely overwhelmed with the love and support that has been shown to me. I have no idea, what it is that I bring to peoples lives to make them feel the way they do about me ??? Really, no idea .... I am not rich, I am not beautiful, I have few material things, I have a very warped outlook at times in regard to nature, the human body, and life in general. I know, that I often offend some, but ... really, I am just stating what most are thinking and are afraid to voice. I am not a fan of being politically correct, lay it out there, deal with it, get over it, move on!!! (oh, and don't forget to scrap that crap off your shoes before you move on, don't want anything leaving a stain on the future) ... LMAO ... (some of you will get that comment :D)
Ok ... well ... on Tuesday I will fly to TX, upon arrival I will take part in an orientation to prep for Weds. treatment. I am scheduled to undergo my procedure at 8:30. It will take approximately 4-5 hours start to finish. They will take blood (a new piece to the treatment). With this blood they will separate the PRP (protein rich plasma) and infuse some of the stem cells that will be removed to create a "cocktail" of sorts. This will be used on the "problem areas" I mentioned above. A new piece to the treatment, which I guess you could call a bonus, but we are paying for it as the cost of treatment went up to $12,500 from $10K when I first started this venture. Moving on, they will be removing adipose tissue (fat!!) from my abdomen and processing this to remove the dormant stem cells we all have, and as we age, the ability to utilize slows, or diminishes. When the process is complete (if you want more detailed, scientific definition, see some of my research links) they will infuse these now active cells back into my body via IV. the cocktail will be used as an injection method to pinpoint problem areask, such as my spine, neck, etc. I then return back to my hotel on the US side, and fly home to Phoenix on Thursday afternoon.
Seems pretty simple right .... ???? Tomorrow I see my local PCP, check on recent labs, get copies, place a plan for calls if and when I need when I get back home, locally. On Monday, Feb 14th, I will meet with my endocrinologist in Phoenix to adjust my pump and place a plan for "tweaking" my insulin intake as the stemmies get to work. This is the part I am so unsure of, that I can only pray, and do the best I can to monitor more closely. This sort of monitoring makes me want to stay close to home, like STAY HOME, until I know. Unfortunately, that doesn't pay the mortgage or the other bills and I must go back to work.
That is it in a nutshell ... I am not really scared of the treatment, or what may happen afterward as the positives so outwiegh the negatives of this procedure. It is the being alone and knowing how I can get now, am cautious as to how fast I could drop out and that scares me .... almost as much as I see the concern and helplessness on those around me when this happens and I am like "lights on, but no one is home" look and behavior.
All the prayers, good wishes, support, emotional and financial in which I have recieved is overwhelming, humbling ...and beyond my comprehension at times.
On that note, I can barely move, weather says we may get snow tonight, which is not helping my bone and muscle pain .... going to make myself a hot cup of tea, heat my bag and lay down for a while. Often times, just sleeping, helps my body rejuvenate to the point of functionality ... good thing it's the weekend.
Peace, Light, and much Love!!!!
et
Ok ... well ... today, is the worse day pain-wise I have had in a long time. The pain has been building and very steady over the past couple of weeks in great part due to the fact I haven't taken any Aleve in almost 2 weeks. NSAIDs have to be stopped prior to treatment. For many, you know I have been on multiple, if not most, pain meds over the years with no real relief and often times, side effects that could be potentially worse than the pain itself. My body hurts SO badly today that just moving makes me dizzy, nauseated, and wanting to throw-up. Most likely TMI for most, but this sort of pain can stop a person in their tracks. I have been dealing with chronic pain since 1995, and go through periods like this when stress levels are high, and pain meds are minimal to none. Last week at work, I have (along with a couple of coworkers) those bags that you can heat in the microwave to apply heat. Let's just say, between the 3 of us, we keep the microwave running ALL day long. I, need more than one bag at times, one for my shoulders and neck, and one for my lumbar spine. I have always tried to "keep it moving", but there are times, like today, that moving is truely something I can't do very well, and I have a TON of things to get done, and accomplished this week to prep for my trip. My attitude in this aspect as always been, keep it moving, don't complain, and just listen to my body. Today, I am seeing a nap in my very near future ... with heat on my spine, and no doubt wiping out the case of water I just opened yesterday.
Let's just say, the lack of any sort of pain med it certainly bringing to the forefront those "problem areas" in which I was told to tell the doctor about when undergoing my treatment next week.
In regard to the treatment, I would like to give you all a brief overview of what is going to happen, how, where, and what I have done to get here.
As you all know, this has been a long time coming, and not soon enough given the decline I have felt over the past couple of years. When my mom was ill, towards the end, I believe I was on autopilot, just going through what needed to be done and not paying much attention to my body screaming at me. All that sort of "family" stress has continued, only not in a state that has been even remotely rewarding. (That is not meant to be a derogatory comment). Caring for my mother, being part of her dying process was the most rewarding experience of my life next to giving birth to Hillary. It, and she, reinforced the grace under fire mentality, and the human factor that I would like to believe we all have. It was an experience, I will hold with me until the day I die.
With that being said, raising funds, awareness of not only Type I, but of the adult stem cell treatments being offered everywhere but here in the US, or at least that is how it seems. I had no idea that people would be so open to the knowledge I apparently have to offer ... LOL .... I am not a stupid woman. I do, however, have a very warped sense of humor, in which has worked incredibly well for me over the years in many ways. It helps keep me grounded, it helps keep me real, it helps others to see that in spite of what I deal with, I can and do still laugh. (Although, it would seem, to me, that my laughter is dimming, I feel it, I see it in my eyes). I don't want that to happen, and right now, with all that has happened in the past couple of months, and certainly in the past couple of weeks, has to keep me going, for a while. I want to prove to so many, mostly political, closed minded types, that this science is here, and we as Americans, should insist on being offered this sort of medical care, instead of bleeding those of us who kill ourselves just to keep alive, not including what others take for granted. To my "Angels" who made this dream, wish, fight, a reality, Thank you seems minor, I will be forever indebted to you for your generosity, love, and hopes right along with me for a better future. I am totally and completely overwhelmed with the love and support that has been shown to me. I have no idea, what it is that I bring to peoples lives to make them feel the way they do about me ??? Really, no idea .... I am not rich, I am not beautiful, I have few material things, I have a very warped outlook at times in regard to nature, the human body, and life in general. I know, that I often offend some, but ... really, I am just stating what most are thinking and are afraid to voice. I am not a fan of being politically correct, lay it out there, deal with it, get over it, move on!!! (oh, and don't forget to scrap that crap off your shoes before you move on, don't want anything leaving a stain on the future) ... LMAO ... (some of you will get that comment :D)
Ok ... well ... on Tuesday I will fly to TX, upon arrival I will take part in an orientation to prep for Weds. treatment. I am scheduled to undergo my procedure at 8:30. It will take approximately 4-5 hours start to finish. They will take blood (a new piece to the treatment). With this blood they will separate the PRP (protein rich plasma) and infuse some of the stem cells that will be removed to create a "cocktail" of sorts. This will be used on the "problem areas" I mentioned above. A new piece to the treatment, which I guess you could call a bonus, but we are paying for it as the cost of treatment went up to $12,500 from $10K when I first started this venture. Moving on, they will be removing adipose tissue (fat!!) from my abdomen and processing this to remove the dormant stem cells we all have, and as we age, the ability to utilize slows, or diminishes. When the process is complete (if you want more detailed, scientific definition, see some of my research links) they will infuse these now active cells back into my body via IV. the cocktail will be used as an injection method to pinpoint problem areask, such as my spine, neck, etc. I then return back to my hotel on the US side, and fly home to Phoenix on Thursday afternoon.
Seems pretty simple right .... ???? Tomorrow I see my local PCP, check on recent labs, get copies, place a plan for calls if and when I need when I get back home, locally. On Monday, Feb 14th, I will meet with my endocrinologist in Phoenix to adjust my pump and place a plan for "tweaking" my insulin intake as the stemmies get to work. This is the part I am so unsure of, that I can only pray, and do the best I can to monitor more closely. This sort of monitoring makes me want to stay close to home, like STAY HOME, until I know. Unfortunately, that doesn't pay the mortgage or the other bills and I must go back to work.
That is it in a nutshell ... I am not really scared of the treatment, or what may happen afterward as the positives so outwiegh the negatives of this procedure. It is the being alone and knowing how I can get now, am cautious as to how fast I could drop out and that scares me .... almost as much as I see the concern and helplessness on those around me when this happens and I am like "lights on, but no one is home" look and behavior.
All the prayers, good wishes, support, emotional and financial in which I have recieved is overwhelming, humbling ...and beyond my comprehension at times.
On that note, I can barely move, weather says we may get snow tonight, which is not helping my bone and muscle pain .... going to make myself a hot cup of tea, heat my bag and lay down for a while. Often times, just sleeping, helps my body rejuvenate to the point of functionality ... good thing it's the weekend.
Peace, Light, and much Love!!!!
et
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Count Down ....
Hello to everyone!!!
I hope this post finds everyone happy, healthy, and WARM, especially my East Coast folks, and a few I know from the Midwest. You have been hit hard this winter. I know that I could not cope with that sort of weather anymore. That much snow would keep me in the house until May!! .... LOL ....
On the treatment front:
Many people are counting down the days, ten days, as I have been informed this morning by my loving daughter. She is very excited. A phone call with a very special person this morning was evident of excitement, prayer, and hope for what this has the potential to do, and not just for me. For me, well .... I really have tried to stay focused on what I need to do in many aspects of my so-called responsibilities. Therefore, this past week, I have focused on my deadlines at work. I had a deadline of yesterday for a multitude of work to be completed. I made it ... with not as much OT as I had anticipated. All that came from me NOT thinking about what may be in just a little over a week. I am not nervous about the treatment, not really worried about going over the border, etc. I do wish that someone I know, who knows me, who understands what I deal with and how fast it can happen, could accompany me, but with the economy, cost of airfare, the need for a passport, and time off, to babysit me for 3 days, was too much. That is ok, I totally understand and am so happy with all the prayers, good wishes, support, encouragement, I know that there must be a hundred other adjectives that describe the gratitude I feel for all of this, from ALL of you!!! I will be fine. DEAR friends, will take me to the airport, pick me up from the airport, and watch over me, as they have done so many times in the 10 years I have lived in AZ, until I meet with my endocrinologist on Monday ... February 14 at 8:00 AM..... what sort of love fix is that??!! .....
So ... I have one week to finish up my work on the job, I am pushing myself (not always sure why I do this) to get caught up to the point where I need not worry, which I should be doing anyway ... but ...given the economy, I need my job and am glad I have one at this point, so ... put my best feet forward. This past week, I was called by the travel guy with ISCI to confirm my flight info, there will be someone at the airport with my name on a piece of cardboard ... LOL ... to take me to the hotel and begin the process. The night before treatment there will be an orientation, process, thinks to be aware of, schedule (I am scheduled to be first of the day @ 8:30AM), hopefully, I will sleep that night. Being alone, not having anyone to bounce stuff off of, and just wondering, ..... I know it's coming ... I have so much going on in my thoughts that I have pushed to the back of my mind recently that will come to the forefront when I am all alone, waiting for life to change.
I will keep you all posted as to how it goes, what will happen as we go along with the process. As I have stated in the past, this is not yet a CURE, but it is my heartfelt belief, that it is the biggest step to a cure for so many diseases that it must not be overlooked or understated!!! Please hold that in your deepest support area. I may have excellent results from this first treatment, but it is possible, and very likely that a 2nd treatment will be needed to keep things on an even keel. So out fundraising efforts can't end just yet. I am all to aware of the fact that so much of society is struggling. Me and Mine have been struggling to stay on top, not even ahead, for months. With my daughter having lost hours at work due to budget cuts, the possibility of her losing her job all together, is still a risk. I have been luck in that I have a job, and it seems to be stable at the moment, but with more budget cuts on the horizen, I too, could be out. That would mean we would lose our house, our vehicles, etc ... something I refuse to look at presently. I believe, we work hard, we find a way to get through. For me, lately, the support, love, and encouragement I have had from people really has kept me going. But ... like yesterday morning, risk and danger of what could happen is a reality. It is just not a topic I like to dwell on, anything can happen, to anyone, any day, to worry about these things does not allow one to focus on the solving of the problem.
Ok ... I was rambling .... prepare for a little more of that ... there is a psychological factor that goes along with anyone who suffers with a chronic disease, and those around them as well. As always, from the start of this little adventure, I have welcomed comments, feedback, opinions, I am always open to questions, a diolog, anything to open the conversation on this topic of bringing it to the US ... and allowing our citizens, the working class citizens and not just the rich, to use it and benefit from it. Let's take care of our own people, learn from these other countries, scientists, doctors, and people who have undergone this little miracle for all.
Again, much love and thanks for continued prayers and support!!
I will be in touch!!!
Peace and Light!!!
et
I hope this post finds everyone happy, healthy, and WARM, especially my East Coast folks, and a few I know from the Midwest. You have been hit hard this winter. I know that I could not cope with that sort of weather anymore. That much snow would keep me in the house until May!! .... LOL ....
On the treatment front:
Many people are counting down the days, ten days, as I have been informed this morning by my loving daughter. She is very excited. A phone call with a very special person this morning was evident of excitement, prayer, and hope for what this has the potential to do, and not just for me. For me, well .... I really have tried to stay focused on what I need to do in many aspects of my so-called responsibilities. Therefore, this past week, I have focused on my deadlines at work. I had a deadline of yesterday for a multitude of work to be completed. I made it ... with not as much OT as I had anticipated. All that came from me NOT thinking about what may be in just a little over a week. I am not nervous about the treatment, not really worried about going over the border, etc. I do wish that someone I know, who knows me, who understands what I deal with and how fast it can happen, could accompany me, but with the economy, cost of airfare, the need for a passport, and time off, to babysit me for 3 days, was too much. That is ok, I totally understand and am so happy with all the prayers, good wishes, support, encouragement, I know that there must be a hundred other adjectives that describe the gratitude I feel for all of this, from ALL of you!!! I will be fine. DEAR friends, will take me to the airport, pick me up from the airport, and watch over me, as they have done so many times in the 10 years I have lived in AZ, until I meet with my endocrinologist on Monday ... February 14 at 8:00 AM..... what sort of love fix is that??!! .....
So ... I have one week to finish up my work on the job, I am pushing myself (not always sure why I do this) to get caught up to the point where I need not worry, which I should be doing anyway ... but ...given the economy, I need my job and am glad I have one at this point, so ... put my best feet forward. This past week, I was called by the travel guy with ISCI to confirm my flight info, there will be someone at the airport with my name on a piece of cardboard ... LOL ... to take me to the hotel and begin the process. The night before treatment there will be an orientation, process, thinks to be aware of, schedule (I am scheduled to be first of the day @ 8:30AM), hopefully, I will sleep that night. Being alone, not having anyone to bounce stuff off of, and just wondering, ..... I know it's coming ... I have so much going on in my thoughts that I have pushed to the back of my mind recently that will come to the forefront when I am all alone, waiting for life to change.
I will keep you all posted as to how it goes, what will happen as we go along with the process. As I have stated in the past, this is not yet a CURE, but it is my heartfelt belief, that it is the biggest step to a cure for so many diseases that it must not be overlooked or understated!!! Please hold that in your deepest support area. I may have excellent results from this first treatment, but it is possible, and very likely that a 2nd treatment will be needed to keep things on an even keel. So out fundraising efforts can't end just yet. I am all to aware of the fact that so much of society is struggling. Me and Mine have been struggling to stay on top, not even ahead, for months. With my daughter having lost hours at work due to budget cuts, the possibility of her losing her job all together, is still a risk. I have been luck in that I have a job, and it seems to be stable at the moment, but with more budget cuts on the horizen, I too, could be out. That would mean we would lose our house, our vehicles, etc ... something I refuse to look at presently. I believe, we work hard, we find a way to get through. For me, lately, the support, love, and encouragement I have had from people really has kept me going. But ... like yesterday morning, risk and danger of what could happen is a reality. It is just not a topic I like to dwell on, anything can happen, to anyone, any day, to worry about these things does not allow one to focus on the solving of the problem.
Ok ... I was rambling .... prepare for a little more of that ... there is a psychological factor that goes along with anyone who suffers with a chronic disease, and those around them as well. As always, from the start of this little adventure, I have welcomed comments, feedback, opinions, I am always open to questions, a diolog, anything to open the conversation on this topic of bringing it to the US ... and allowing our citizens, the working class citizens and not just the rich, to use it and benefit from it. Let's take care of our own people, learn from these other countries, scientists, doctors, and people who have undergone this little miracle for all.
Again, much love and thanks for continued prayers and support!!
I will be in touch!!!
Peace and Light!!!
et
Monday, January 17, 2011
God works in mysterious ways ....
Greetings !!!
I come this morning with overwhelming news. I am GOING TO MEXICO!!!
Yesterday, I got a message stating that I was wanted "to grow old with us" along with the remaining funds to book my treatment, my flight, and follow up doctor appointment!!!!! I was overwhelmed, numb, "catatonic" for several hours according to my loving child, who was very emotional as well. Angels, right here in my life!!! So many, and all so very precious to my being.
How can you thank someone for such an overwhelming, self-less, and generous contribution to my life? To help, with hope, that my life gets better and things calm down a tad so that I can grow old, or at least 65. That would be a good number ... I think ... 69 tops.... LOL.
The past year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have had multiple disappointments, not that I can't handle disappointment, but .... I have tried so hard to plow forward, educate those who question my disease, and my goal of undergoing the adipose stem cell treatment. A year later, I have educated, I have sparked interest, and knowledge, and perhaps in certain cases, opened a slightly closed mind in regard to the science. In just the recent weeks since the November fundraiser, multiple articles have been printed in regard to the stem cell treatment, all positive, and promising outcomes. One in particular, was a diabetic ulcer gone bad and doctors wanted to amputate. Stem cells treatment applied, and boom!!! Repair and regenerate, and no amputation needed as the wound began to heal beautifully. Now, I am sure, as I have seen them, talked to a couple I think, and read many entries in which I thought the organizations, people, etc., were nothing more than a scammer. I have tried to weed through all this sort of negative press and feel I have found a reputable, safe, and high standard organization to do the treatment. I am, now, currently, in a frame of mind in which it is hard for me to verbalize at the moment. I am allowing thoughts like, plane ticket, crossing t's and dotting I's ... and then, most likely on a plane ride, or the night before, will lie and wonder. What will happen? What will life be like when my new stemmies start plowing through the worn out, broken parts of my body?? How long will it take?? Every person is different. My doctor seems to think it will be 2 weeks before we start to see any drop in insulin intake, my guess is less than a week. I do nothing by textbook ... LMAO ... never have, why would it start now??
I have been trying to plan a future .... as the norm, I try not to plan too far ahead. Could this change ... just a bit?? I take one day at a time, we may not have that, so we need to enjoy the moment we are in .... but .... how irresponsible, if I didn't try and plan ahead?? It is a tough balance at times, as my life has become in recent months. One day has just blended in with the other, I have been on autopilot, robotically going through my job process, for the most part, dispensing most of my energy on work, getting home, feeling like I have been beat with a bat, try to listen to my body and just ... well ...head to bed ... usually before 9, just so that I can get the rest I need to do it all again for 8 hours the next day. My stamina has faded, (not that I was ever overloaded with stamina to start with), I will undergo lab work in the morning, that should cover me up to treatment, and then .... oh my .... I have no idea, it is a sort of adrenaline thing, what is going to happen?? I have such hope, and then, if this makes the difference I think it will, I would love nothing more than to be some sort of spokesperson, I want more people to know that the science to help, in a much more natural approach in my opinion, is out there, our government, however, is so money hungry, pharmaceuticals might lose some of their cash flow, too bad!! There are too many people in today's society suffering from devastating, debilitating degenerative diseases that can be improved greatly with this science. Why, a question I ask all too frequently, must we suffer while some get rich off of our misfortune??? In spite of the fact I like small crowds, I am passionate about this topic and would overcome my unsteadiness of speaking in public to shout from the rooftops what I get the stability I hope for.
Please, continue to pray for me, for those who support and love me, for those Angels in my corner, both on this plane and the one on the other side .... more details will follow this week for sure as things begin to fall into place. Follow me ... hoping that whoever decides they will accompany me, will be able to pick up on subtleties that will be positive, in spite of the fact, I fear a drastic low, so I must be diligent about testing and keeping an eye on my pump and insulin intake. A good babysitter who knows me well in these "stupid" modes will be my best friend this week .... LOL .....
Peace and Light to all !!!
with much love
et
I come this morning with overwhelming news. I am GOING TO MEXICO!!!
Yesterday, I got a message stating that I was wanted "to grow old with us" along with the remaining funds to book my treatment, my flight, and follow up doctor appointment!!!!! I was overwhelmed, numb, "catatonic" for several hours according to my loving child, who was very emotional as well. Angels, right here in my life!!! So many, and all so very precious to my being.
How can you thank someone for such an overwhelming, self-less, and generous contribution to my life? To help, with hope, that my life gets better and things calm down a tad so that I can grow old, or at least 65. That would be a good number ... I think ... 69 tops.... LOL.
The past year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have had multiple disappointments, not that I can't handle disappointment, but .... I have tried so hard to plow forward, educate those who question my disease, and my goal of undergoing the adipose stem cell treatment. A year later, I have educated, I have sparked interest, and knowledge, and perhaps in certain cases, opened a slightly closed mind in regard to the science. In just the recent weeks since the November fundraiser, multiple articles have been printed in regard to the stem cell treatment, all positive, and promising outcomes. One in particular, was a diabetic ulcer gone bad and doctors wanted to amputate. Stem cells treatment applied, and boom!!! Repair and regenerate, and no amputation needed as the wound began to heal beautifully. Now, I am sure, as I have seen them, talked to a couple I think, and read many entries in which I thought the organizations, people, etc., were nothing more than a scammer. I have tried to weed through all this sort of negative press and feel I have found a reputable, safe, and high standard organization to do the treatment. I am, now, currently, in a frame of mind in which it is hard for me to verbalize at the moment. I am allowing thoughts like, plane ticket, crossing t's and dotting I's ... and then, most likely on a plane ride, or the night before, will lie and wonder. What will happen? What will life be like when my new stemmies start plowing through the worn out, broken parts of my body?? How long will it take?? Every person is different. My doctor seems to think it will be 2 weeks before we start to see any drop in insulin intake, my guess is less than a week. I do nothing by textbook ... LMAO ... never have, why would it start now??
I have been trying to plan a future .... as the norm, I try not to plan too far ahead. Could this change ... just a bit?? I take one day at a time, we may not have that, so we need to enjoy the moment we are in .... but .... how irresponsible, if I didn't try and plan ahead?? It is a tough balance at times, as my life has become in recent months. One day has just blended in with the other, I have been on autopilot, robotically going through my job process, for the most part, dispensing most of my energy on work, getting home, feeling like I have been beat with a bat, try to listen to my body and just ... well ...head to bed ... usually before 9, just so that I can get the rest I need to do it all again for 8 hours the next day. My stamina has faded, (not that I was ever overloaded with stamina to start with), I will undergo lab work in the morning, that should cover me up to treatment, and then .... oh my .... I have no idea, it is a sort of adrenaline thing, what is going to happen?? I have such hope, and then, if this makes the difference I think it will, I would love nothing more than to be some sort of spokesperson, I want more people to know that the science to help, in a much more natural approach in my opinion, is out there, our government, however, is so money hungry, pharmaceuticals might lose some of their cash flow, too bad!! There are too many people in today's society suffering from devastating, debilitating degenerative diseases that can be improved greatly with this science. Why, a question I ask all too frequently, must we suffer while some get rich off of our misfortune??? In spite of the fact I like small crowds, I am passionate about this topic and would overcome my unsteadiness of speaking in public to shout from the rooftops what I get the stability I hope for.
Please, continue to pray for me, for those who support and love me, for those Angels in my corner, both on this plane and the one on the other side .... more details will follow this week for sure as things begin to fall into place. Follow me ... hoping that whoever decides they will accompany me, will be able to pick up on subtleties that will be positive, in spite of the fact, I fear a drastic low, so I must be diligent about testing and keeping an eye on my pump and insulin intake. A good babysitter who knows me well in these "stupid" modes will be my best friend this week .... LOL .....
Peace and Light to all !!!
with much love
et
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I'm tired of being sick .....
I'm sick of being tired! .......
Come on .... someone HAD to have seen that one coming. :D
It is true though.... I have been fighting something since early November, spent the week from Christmas Eve to the Monday after New Years. I went back to work after being out for a week, over both holidays .... Not exactly my idea of a vacation. I have so many projects that need to be done at home, on the home, etc. There is not enough energy left in my batteries when I get home from work that I have been in bed anywhere from 7:15, to no later than 7:45. I am wiped ..... but .... am trying hard to plump up the immune system, maybe I can finally blow this out soon. I am on my 2nd round of antibiotics, yesterday beginning a stonger round and some heavy duty decongestant. I slept most of today away, still dragging........??? I just have not felt right .......
...... I met yesterday with my new PCP, upon recommendation of my daughter, and a local doctor she works with. (I do so really enjoy these sort of discussion and interaction, the brains and the humanity!!) He was very nice, good personality, appeared to be thorough, ordered blood work ...ggrrrrr.... which I will have drawn maybe Thursday, but definately before weeks end. He wants me back in 3 weeks.....??? Let's see what follow up says .... again, it's not right.
Then there is the day-to-day stressors in which I've been trying to cope with for over 2 months now. The dreaded day job .... I love my job topic, area of focus, always learning something new (for me it's the body, like a fine HD piece of machinary ... haha). In any event, being honest on many levels, hasn't gotten me a lot of brownie points in my status. I am on my 3rd supervisor in less than a month.....hmmmmm ..... and where do you think they would take that. What irritates me most, is how these "corporate" types, that give the illusion of go-getters .... (that was the nicest way I could put it)will step on you, kick you, make you think he/she truely is a "part of the team" in actuality, can't see past the end of thier own noses ..... LOL ..... (I'm giggling here, try it, makes me dizzy)anyway ... I finally got a cohort, I think she knows her stuff and we can certainly help each other make it to the next level of our education. "Biggies" don't always see the big picture and the lower rungs of the ladder, break, fall off, or just get left with s&#* all over them .... lmao ..... yes people, I do find this sort of amusing in a sick way. All I want is to do my job, to the best of my ability. I think that given my easy-going personality, I try, actually, I don't really, it's just who I am; enjoy doing things around my homw, to make me happy, and feel at ease, whatever the time line to get it done, so long as I am enjoying it as I am going along.
Lots of varied thoughts lately. In part, due to this stupid vertigo that seemed to have come along with this ear/UR infection in which is still lingering in my neck/throat. We will see what the labwork and the med does .... hopefully by weeks end.
I do return to work in the morning, at the old office, in which I was under the impression I would be there less often, WRONG ..... seems I have been set up all pretty .... YAK .... it makes me really leary of corporate administrator, of what ever title that is this week, think that is "where it's at" ... LOL ... LOL...LOL .... Not for me baby!!! .... I have come to that point in my life, where I would like to fight on and fight hard, for change in research, better coverage, stem cell procedures in this country would be a marvelous legacy .... continue with my JDRF research, and see if I can get this done SOON to show others in positions to take it to another level, that it will work, it has proven safe and effective for so many, make it available here, under research/university hospitals .... my thoughts are being disrupted ... (it's a 90 lb beauty that thinks she is a lap dog!!!)
Signing out .... will check back soon, hopefully for ALL with a cleared head, less fuzzy.
Be well everyone .... Light and Love
et
PS: I quickie of the lap-dog :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)