Getting Drained

Good evening all !!

Well ... the last 24 hours seem to be a sort of hell.
We had a pretty bad storm here the night before last, wicked wind, rain, snow, and ice (mostly due to the cold temps). In any event, yesterday morning started out as pretty normal and quickly went downhill.

Hilly left for work a little before six, with plenty of time allowed for her to get to work in spite of any obstacles or so we thought. At 6:10 my cell phone rang and it was Hilly telling me she had been in an accident, could I call a tow truck. Well .... I stayed calm, asked her if she was alright, all those parental things we do .... and then I asked about her truck .... which she has only had for about a month!! She is fine, truck is fine, not even any real scratches from what we can tell. She apparently just hydroplaned on the icy road and spun around and landed back in the direction in which she had just come from, and six feet off the road in the ditch. Cops were on the scene pretty quick as there was one right behind her when she spun out. Ninety minutes later a tow truck showed up to pull her out. We happen to know the man who operates the service and he sat with Hilly until the truck that could pull her out did with some words of wisdom for Ms. Hilly ----- When your ass passes you, you know you're in trouble .... LMAO .... This at least lightened her up a little bit. She was at least not trying to sail through as some with no regard to the conditions, or that you can't do 65 when the road is a sheet of ice. Some people out here can be a tad on the stupid, lacking of common sense side. No one seems to know who to drive in the stuff..... they take all the fun and enjoyment out of driving in it for me.

Anyway .... that just got the day off to a VERY tense start. When she was pulled out of the ditch she was still a little shaky and didn't want to drive to work, so I picked her up on my way out of town and dropped her at the hospital. It took us over 30 minutes for what normal takes us 15-20 minutes tops. I never got out of low gear, never broke 30 and got there just fine. Most of the morons that seemed to be in a big hurry, landed off the road, stranded in the ditch. Some would call that Karma .... hehehehe ..... :D

I stopped on my way home from work to drop off insurance information, I have been so tired, just wiped out, so I didn't think much of it at the time, but my blood sugar was on its way down. I was fine when I checked it before driving from the office, this stop was right on the way home. Needless to say, I don't remember much for the next 3 to 4 hours, and this morning had to ask Hilly where she found me when she got home, what was I wearing, etc. These episodes are becoming extremely hard on my body and wearing me down considerably due to the fact they mess with just about the whole body functioning, I couldn't see straight, was dizzy, it just isn't very pleasant. In checking my meter and pump memory, it all happened within a ten to 30 minute time frame. I was 138 when I left work, drive for 20 minutes, stop chat and take care of the insurance stuff ..... left to go the 2 miles to the house, land in kitchen at 28 .... I have no clue how I manage to walk at this particular point as it is like being overcome and someone else is driving. Okay .... well .... I made it through another night ..... and today almost everyone who had to encounter me at work basically said I looked like shit. Only one or two actually used that phrase, but we all know where they were going.

A long day today too, I am just totally worn out, emotionally, physically, and feeling almost empty. Tomorrow is my cardiologist appointment, I hope that we can get this test done in the next week or so because I can't lose my hope. I am getting tired, trying to keep every ones issues in order and not doing such a great job the last few weeks. In spite of how my brothers may feel about me right now, I know right from wrong, and I am the one who must live in with my conscious, so .... may their own "Earlisms" not take over the best of them as I see many of them recently in all of their behaviors and attitudes. My selfishness these days, in wanting and needing to address my own mortality, does not make me a bad person. I have spent many years tending to my parents needs. Geography has nothing to do with this equation, and I don't recall it being written anywhere that it is a "daughter's job!!!" So .... call me what you will .... I know my heart and mind are clear of the rights and wrongs that go along with life. Or at least that ones I was raised by and with.

I got to go .... paperwork to fill out for tomorrow and the dog is chucking a nutty.

Good night all !!
et