Final Push

Hello everyone !!

I can't tell you how glad I am it's Friday. Not that it makes a huge difference as lately, I get not two minutes, never mind two hours, and I would LOVE two days to myself. I really am begining to wonder how much longer I can exhist in this manner.

Hillary, friends, and co-workers are doing the final push to make the yard sale pull together. I have no idea what to expect out of this and am to be quite honest, a little overwhelmed by it all. I think all that extra is adding to the stresses being felt, and the anxiety or unease of wondering when and how this is all going to play out. As noted in the earlier post of this week, the discussion had with my endocrinologist as to the "mights." My life is so chotic the last year, two, maybe 5 .... hell, my whole life has been chotic, I think the older I get, the less I want to cope with it. I really don't think it is remotely normal to have this much BS in one's life.

Okay .... well .... Hillary and her friend, MT, went to the shed today to try and organize all the donations which have been made thus far. Clothes, electronics, books, movies, stereos, TVs, the washer and dryer, the spinning wheel, holiday items, material, craft items.... all donated by mostly coworkers of mine and Hillary's, and some by total strangers. Flyers were placed up around the area, posters are in process of being colored. :D Our newspaper article has stirred discussion, and couple of weird phone calls. Like the one I had the other night telling me that if I buy a certain book, that I would not need to have any transplant or intervention, that I would indeed be cured. This is a frustration I have dealt with my whole life. People who live with Type II, a large majority of the millions of people living with diabetes, associate them as one and the same. THEY ARE NOT .... in any way the same. Type I is in fact and autoimmune disease, and only makes up 5-10% of those that suffer from diabetes; Type II is a metobolic issue, insulin is produced, the body just does not metabolize properly anymore for various reasons. My pancreas does not produce insulin, period. No cure, only management with insulin therapy. NO INSULIN - NO LIFE !!! Pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.

So ... again, with the hopes of education for those who are unaware of the difference, and only adding to my exacerbation of chaos......LOL ..... anyway, I was told I should work on this.

I am going to hit the pillows now as my Maggie doesn't care if it is the start of the weekend she will still be up between 4:30 and 5:00 AM. I have some work to do .... both from the office and my private, at-home work that HAS to be completed by tomorrow. We will be at the shed tomorrow doing some pricing, and of course, I have to throw away a good portion of my day hauling my father to the store, which is such a totally emotional drain for me these days .... I can't even begin to describe the suction factor of this man on both myself and Hillary (who had him for several hours today). He is very selfish and self-absorbed, always has been, it just seems so much more exaserbated lately. He has no real compassion for what is happening to me these days, or anyone else for that matter, he is worse, or so that is what he keeps telling me, and yet all I can see is that he wants me to take care of him. I need to take care of me right now, as I can truely feel things fading out and I really don't want that right now. I need to fight, and it is becoming more and more difficult to keep that energy level up. So on that note, that very depressing note as I look back at it .... LOL ... I bid you all a pleasant and enjoyable evening and weekend !!!

Peace and Light
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