I hope this posting finds all my readers well and happy, and continuing on the quest for more knowledge.
It has been a very stressful, emotionally and physically, two weeks since the passing of my father. His passing, although not completely unexpected, did come suddenly and by means other than the expected. My daughter found him down, we met at the ER and it was within 24 hours he had past, both of us by his side. Then came the family BS .... I have 5 brothers, 3 of which have had no contact with my father since my mother's passing, or prior, and yet 2 of them had the nerve to show up here in AZ, "swoop in like vultures", according to my daughter's observance, offer very little physical or emotional support, for one day (and not a complete day). They then camped out across town with a cousin/friend and proceeded to feed their Budweiser delusions as to how I wasn't being fair to "my brothers." Well, I nearly lost it!!! and then I blew up verbally 2 days prior to their departure. They had nothing nice to say while they were here, seemed disappointed that my parents "didn't have anything" and what they did have was dispersed prior to my mother's passing with the exception of a few "worldly possessions" of my dads. In the end, I was called numerous nasty names, was the recipient of some very hurtful comments, and I walked away stating (loudly)that I hope they don't have to die without the love of their children. Fact is, my parents did the best they knew how to do given the times and circumstances.
All this has been wearing on my body. The emotional and physical stress has caused some lows, which I haven't had for a while, and no real awareness. (I'm hoping this is just stress related) If not for a couple of friends, HT and a few of her friends, we NEVER would have gotten the move completed by weeks end. We tried to sell some of the bigger stuff, made multiple donations as per my mothers request, and the rest, 70 years of photos and some holiday stuff is now crawling the walls in my home. I, too, will handle this task with the help of my daughter, the two of us being the only steady in my parents life for the past 10+ years, yet I'm not being fair to my siblings.
With that being said, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to focus on my life, and my passion for the stem cell science/medicine/treatment will be my focus. As for my so-called siblings .... I did what they didn't have the manhood, or emotional maturity to handle, flat out refused to do at the time the death topic came into play, and therefore, their "childhood issues" or the fact that they stated to me that they would not care for my father "'cause he was an a-hole to us as kids" is not my issue, it is theirs and I REFUSE to accept their guilt as a reason for the bashing as I too, grew up in the same household. They can say whatever they want, but my daughter and I know the truth, we know the history, we know more than my brothers probably would be pleased with. We did not seek to ease our pain in a case of beer x 20+ for the week. Seems a little overwhelming for even a good size party, never mind 2 guys (3 for 3 days). Some serious soul searching should take place, I have done that many times, and my disillusion with "family" has come to a harsh ending in which "forgive and forget" will not only take time, I am not sure it can be undone. It slapped me right in the face that my brothers seem to not care about where they came from, my health issues, were addressed as "I don't know anything about that, and I don't care." ...... Hmmmmm ..... I get more response and admiration from strangers in the way I live my life, and the manner in which I am trying to not only prolong my life given the situation, but live it as I go along. Education, knowledge, is power, and I saw nothing but ego and arrogance in this past visit. I think it is pretty safe to say we won't be having visitors anytime soon, if ever. All the times I thought that when this time in our lives came, we would band together .... holy cow!!! What was I smoking???? and those rose colored glasses should now be shattered. I know my family is of dysfunctional makeup, but .... has no one heard the phrase, "Break the chain"? This cycle should have been broken a long time ago, I can only hope that my daughter has learned some valuable lessons of life in relationships and the give and take of those in play. Human nature never ceases to amaze me.
I hope you were able to check out the Stem Genex newsletter and the articles that were some pretty interesting reading.
I ask for a little time to adjust to what is about to be the biggest life change I have undergone since my divorce back in 1994. Life as I know it has changed drastically, again, and I need to play out my hand in the most appropriate and meaningful way ..... for me!!! I deserve to be good to me and focus on the passions that make me full.
Peace and Light to all
et
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
It has been a long week
Hello to all !!
I hope that all who read the Stem Genex Newsletter found something of interest. This is an upcoming area that the FDA and those who call the shots just can't ignore. It's working, in so many areas, improving the lives of so many, how can they possibly push it under the rug??? I have to say that based on when I started my research into this science, it is finally at a point where we, as the people, can find the treatments. However, we still have a long way to go. I have been so pleased that my blog has reached people who are looking for this sort of treatment, and that I have been able to talk with them about what I experienced. This is an "opportunity" I didn't have when I was looking for treatment, and a reputable organization to work with. I have found that, and will continue to advocate for such.
On another note, I have some stressful, disturbing blogging info to post on, as it has been 12 days from chaos, having lost my father on August 18th, and not to the reason we had expected. It was fast, he was kept comfortable, and this happening brought out, yet again, the ultimate best in my so-called siblings. It is my opinion, and that of many who have witnessed the situation over the past 5 years, that my daughter and I did what my brothers didn't have the "manhood" or emotional maturity to handle, and therefore, throwing derogatory comments of negativity is their method of making themselves feel better, so be it. I am all too aware people grieve differently, this is not grieving, this is pure and total guilt, and I will not allow it to eat me as I know the actions I took, and will continue to take as I move forward, are never with the intention to get something for nothing, or to avoid the basic human contact, regardless. I may have been frustrated and irritated with my father's outlook on life, and he could certainly be difficult, but, past is past, and neither Hillary, nor myself, ever turned our back on him, or left him alone. We included him .... and as a result, most of our friends, were very much aware of the "grandfather" .... Hillary found him down, and in her professional mode, handled herself amazingly, we were with him until the end, he managed to tell us he loved us, and he knew we were there and would do our best to take care of the aftermath. Needless to say, my blood sugars have responded with several lows over the past week or so, in part, I believe, due to stress levels and all the physical moving we have had to do to get the apartment empty, which was completed yesterday.
So .... this is part of why I have not made many posts in the past couple of weeks. Life has had me very occupied.
Wishing all Peace and Light
et
I hope that all who read the Stem Genex Newsletter found something of interest. This is an upcoming area that the FDA and those who call the shots just can't ignore. It's working, in so many areas, improving the lives of so many, how can they possibly push it under the rug??? I have to say that based on when I started my research into this science, it is finally at a point where we, as the people, can find the treatments. However, we still have a long way to go. I have been so pleased that my blog has reached people who are looking for this sort of treatment, and that I have been able to talk with them about what I experienced. This is an "opportunity" I didn't have when I was looking for treatment, and a reputable organization to work with. I have found that, and will continue to advocate for such.
On another note, I have some stressful, disturbing blogging info to post on, as it has been 12 days from chaos, having lost my father on August 18th, and not to the reason we had expected. It was fast, he was kept comfortable, and this happening brought out, yet again, the ultimate best in my so-called siblings. It is my opinion, and that of many who have witnessed the situation over the past 5 years, that my daughter and I did what my brothers didn't have the "manhood" or emotional maturity to handle, and therefore, throwing derogatory comments of negativity is their method of making themselves feel better, so be it. I am all too aware people grieve differently, this is not grieving, this is pure and total guilt, and I will not allow it to eat me as I know the actions I took, and will continue to take as I move forward, are never with the intention to get something for nothing, or to avoid the basic human contact, regardless. I may have been frustrated and irritated with my father's outlook on life, and he could certainly be difficult, but, past is past, and neither Hillary, nor myself, ever turned our back on him, or left him alone. We included him .... and as a result, most of our friends, were very much aware of the "grandfather" .... Hillary found him down, and in her professional mode, handled herself amazingly, we were with him until the end, he managed to tell us he loved us, and he knew we were there and would do our best to take care of the aftermath. Needless to say, my blood sugars have responded with several lows over the past week or so, in part, I believe, due to stress levels and all the physical moving we have had to do to get the apartment empty, which was completed yesterday.
So .... this is part of why I have not made many posts in the past couple of weeks. Life has had me very occupied.
Wishing all Peace and Light
et
Friday, August 26, 2011
Newsletter Link
http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=mhorzzcab&v=00186bjBp797gv9gFB6hirQEX6wHGH_X2P4lDOyI7fGv_CAP3bmjdvO6owe1yfWXiVfbzI0czko7e_5Jv4ireb00Hpjaylj3S39d7oyR7zW8BD9DeGq6id4Uz80TavVi62ecuxBQME2jxI%3D
The link above is the this months Stem Genex Newsletter, I am the headline article, followed by two VERY promising and informative articles involving the military and TX Governor, Rick Perry. The more awareness we promote, the better chance we have of bringing stem cell treatment to those who need and want it ... HERE!
Enjoy the read!!!
Peace and Light
et
I need to update on some stressful few weeks, but for now, lets celebrate knowledge!!!
The link above is the this months Stem Genex Newsletter, I am the headline article, followed by two VERY promising and informative articles involving the military and TX Governor, Rick Perry. The more awareness we promote, the better chance we have of bringing stem cell treatment to those who need and want it ... HERE!
Enjoy the read!!!
Peace and Light
et
I need to update on some stressful few weeks, but for now, lets celebrate knowledge!!!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Some exciting stuff for me
Hi Everyone and Happy Friday!!!
Not a whole lot going on that is new. I do have some exciting news (or at least it is my idea of exciting). First, I am home today with what I thought I had a hold of, a sinus infection. My head is killing me!! With this monsoon season in full flow here in AZ there is a lot of blowing dust, dirt, etc., then stirred up with a down pour of rain that releases tons of God only knows what, filling the air. It isn't anything like the rains I remember from back east. There is no refreshing smell of wet grass or flowers after a rain, it is wet dirt at best. This area also throws lots of spores from the dirt and dust which can cause some pretty nasty upper respiratory infections, and something they call Valley Fever, which is something I would really like to avoid. I also had a doctor appointment this week in which the provider asked me "why hasn't it been biopsied yet?" regarding my lymph node issue, which after her examination, has been bothering me for the last 3 days. She is requesting past operative reports and seems sincere in getting this little issue taken care of .... she is one of only 2 providers I have dealt with in the past 3-4 months of this that seems totally irked with the mentality of most of the health care community in which they have placed their passion. Just goes to prove, some still have their ethics and compassion. We will see where this goes, and how fast. I follow up next week.
So the week has been pretty long in the sense of fighting the sinus pain, dealing with the same individuals who refuse to do their jobs and yet continue to have one, and try and accommodate the duties I have in and out of the workplace. I saw to my Dad a couple of times this past week, he continues to be a major source of stress for me and I am trying to fit in going over and getting things ready to move and/or get rid of. Sounds sort of harsh, but, unfortunately, I will get no help with this mission or the payment of his final bills, etc from the so-called siblings. With that being said, let's move on to what I feel is exciting and gets me all pumped up .....LOL.
Earlier this week I got a call from the Stem Genex gentleman (who was not part of my treatment at the time), he asked if I would talk to another patient in regard to how my treatment went. I, of course, said yes!! I wished at the time, I had been able to speak with someone who had undergone the treatment, or had dealt with any particular company. I am now in a position to offer my experience as I am not afraid to do so. I want anyone, and everyone, to know that I was treated VERY well, well within ethical guidelines, and the personal touch was more than comforting. If I can offer that to another patient, especially those suffering from Type I, I want to do it. My daughter and I have actually spoken about this divulging of information and the way that HIPPA can prevent people from getting this sort of information. So ... if this is the only legacy I leave behind, I am willing to put myself out there to do so. So I thought that was pretty exciting!! Also, and this is something that has had me all excited this week ... The informational news letter put out by the ISCI / Stem Genex and is full of up-to-date info on where the science is, etc. is going to spot light ME!!! In 2 weeks, I will be the patient spot light on my story (condensed version) and my response to treatment in just the 1st six months. I am so excited as the woman I spoke with last night who conducted the interview was SO intriguing and interesting, we could have been on the phone all night!!! She really was, yet another, strong, intelligent woman placed in my direct path on this leg of my journey. I have a feeling, or shall I say, it is my real hope, that one day soon I can put myself right into this area of medicine either as the "guinea pig" producing the data to those who can REALLY put it to use, or, that I am available to patients who want, as I, to live longer, healthier, and prove the US regulatory agencies holding us back WRONG!!
Again, all the political happening in the past couple of weeks has me reeling. Loss in the stock market yesterday hit my 401K hard, and that is about all I have as any sort of "investment" to help in my future. I don't have to tell most of you, that I am not a rich woman, monetarily speaking. I work hard to keep a roof over our head, I have all the basic expenses most have, plus, even with health insurance, I have medical expenses, both appointments and supplies in which total a whopping 7k + a year, and that doesn't always include any deductible. (I'm thinking this is a big reason I can't find a date .... LOL). So with that info, how can I possibly do anything exciting such as a vacation!!?? I try to make the time, and lucky for me and the child, we are a cheap date, and so easily amused. These sorts of expenses never seem to be taken into consideration, in regard to "getting ahead." A perfect example, is my daughters applications for Federal aide to assist her with her college education. She doesn't usually qualify ..... imagine that.... a young, white woman, who is fully employed (full-time) and putting herself through college (yes, full time) with very little help. She took out a loan last year that was made more difficult then our mortgage was. Yes, she is also a home owner, and she is only 22 years old!!! I could take this post to a whole other level in regard to not only our health care, but our declining educational status. WE ARE NOT THE SUPER POWER that the big guys in Washington want us to believe and if you are that "brain washed" to believe we are .... then you should dig a little deeper as you will be in for a very rude awakening ... and my guess, is it won't be too long now before it all blows up on the American people. That is those that are still alive when the pharmaceuticals, over priced health care, and the environment get done with us. Talk about a legalized way of thinning out our own population ..... LOL .....
I wish ... and on a daily basis, wish I knew what I could do as one person to make that difference. I can't, it will take a whole band of voices to get things like this changed. It has to change, this is not the model in which I believe this country was built, and it continues to fail us, as citizens, every day.
I can't wait to see what is compiled for the news letter, and will certainly post a link this this information when it comes out. I know I have been getting the ISCI news letter since I found them over a year ago, it comes to my email, so anyone who wants in that way, can sign up to stay up to date by visiting the website. Lots of things are changing, and even I need to get caught up, this is such an exciting time for this science / medicine!!! Please join me in bringing a change to the outlook behind stem cells.
Thanks and have a wonderful weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et
Not a whole lot going on that is new. I do have some exciting news (or at least it is my idea of exciting). First, I am home today with what I thought I had a hold of, a sinus infection. My head is killing me!! With this monsoon season in full flow here in AZ there is a lot of blowing dust, dirt, etc., then stirred up with a down pour of rain that releases tons of God only knows what, filling the air. It isn't anything like the rains I remember from back east. There is no refreshing smell of wet grass or flowers after a rain, it is wet dirt at best. This area also throws lots of spores from the dirt and dust which can cause some pretty nasty upper respiratory infections, and something they call Valley Fever, which is something I would really like to avoid. I also had a doctor appointment this week in which the provider asked me "why hasn't it been biopsied yet?" regarding my lymph node issue, which after her examination, has been bothering me for the last 3 days. She is requesting past operative reports and seems sincere in getting this little issue taken care of .... she is one of only 2 providers I have dealt with in the past 3-4 months of this that seems totally irked with the mentality of most of the health care community in which they have placed their passion. Just goes to prove, some still have their ethics and compassion. We will see where this goes, and how fast. I follow up next week.
So the week has been pretty long in the sense of fighting the sinus pain, dealing with the same individuals who refuse to do their jobs and yet continue to have one, and try and accommodate the duties I have in and out of the workplace. I saw to my Dad a couple of times this past week, he continues to be a major source of stress for me and I am trying to fit in going over and getting things ready to move and/or get rid of. Sounds sort of harsh, but, unfortunately, I will get no help with this mission or the payment of his final bills, etc from the so-called siblings. With that being said, let's move on to what I feel is exciting and gets me all pumped up .....LOL.
Earlier this week I got a call from the Stem Genex gentleman (who was not part of my treatment at the time), he asked if I would talk to another patient in regard to how my treatment went. I, of course, said yes!! I wished at the time, I had been able to speak with someone who had undergone the treatment, or had dealt with any particular company. I am now in a position to offer my experience as I am not afraid to do so. I want anyone, and everyone, to know that I was treated VERY well, well within ethical guidelines, and the personal touch was more than comforting. If I can offer that to another patient, especially those suffering from Type I, I want to do it. My daughter and I have actually spoken about this divulging of information and the way that HIPPA can prevent people from getting this sort of information. So ... if this is the only legacy I leave behind, I am willing to put myself out there to do so. So I thought that was pretty exciting!! Also, and this is something that has had me all excited this week ... The informational news letter put out by the ISCI / Stem Genex and is full of up-to-date info on where the science is, etc. is going to spot light ME!!! In 2 weeks, I will be the patient spot light on my story (condensed version) and my response to treatment in just the 1st six months. I am so excited as the woman I spoke with last night who conducted the interview was SO intriguing and interesting, we could have been on the phone all night!!! She really was, yet another, strong, intelligent woman placed in my direct path on this leg of my journey. I have a feeling, or shall I say, it is my real hope, that one day soon I can put myself right into this area of medicine either as the "guinea pig" producing the data to those who can REALLY put it to use, or, that I am available to patients who want, as I, to live longer, healthier, and prove the US regulatory agencies holding us back WRONG!!
Again, all the political happening in the past couple of weeks has me reeling. Loss in the stock market yesterday hit my 401K hard, and that is about all I have as any sort of "investment" to help in my future. I don't have to tell most of you, that I am not a rich woman, monetarily speaking. I work hard to keep a roof over our head, I have all the basic expenses most have, plus, even with health insurance, I have medical expenses, both appointments and supplies in which total a whopping 7k + a year, and that doesn't always include any deductible. (I'm thinking this is a big reason I can't find a date .... LOL). So with that info, how can I possibly do anything exciting such as a vacation!!?? I try to make the time, and lucky for me and the child, we are a cheap date, and so easily amused. These sorts of expenses never seem to be taken into consideration, in regard to "getting ahead." A perfect example, is my daughters applications for Federal aide to assist her with her college education. She doesn't usually qualify ..... imagine that.... a young, white woman, who is fully employed (full-time) and putting herself through college (yes, full time) with very little help. She took out a loan last year that was made more difficult then our mortgage was. Yes, she is also a home owner, and she is only 22 years old!!! I could take this post to a whole other level in regard to not only our health care, but our declining educational status. WE ARE NOT THE SUPER POWER that the big guys in Washington want us to believe and if you are that "brain washed" to believe we are .... then you should dig a little deeper as you will be in for a very rude awakening ... and my guess, is it won't be too long now before it all blows up on the American people. That is those that are still alive when the pharmaceuticals, over priced health care, and the environment get done with us. Talk about a legalized way of thinning out our own population ..... LOL .....
I wish ... and on a daily basis, wish I knew what I could do as one person to make that difference. I can't, it will take a whole band of voices to get things like this changed. It has to change, this is not the model in which I believe this country was built, and it continues to fail us, as citizens, every day.
I can't wait to see what is compiled for the news letter, and will certainly post a link this this information when it comes out. I know I have been getting the ISCI news letter since I found them over a year ago, it comes to my email, so anyone who wants in that way, can sign up to stay up to date by visiting the website. Lots of things are changing, and even I need to get caught up, this is such an exciting time for this science / medicine!!! Please join me in bringing a change to the outlook behind stem cells.
Thanks and have a wonderful weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et
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