As I am still here, coping with all the same BS I was yesterday, and not as well as I expected. I am unprepared, tired, and honestly, scared to death as to how to cope so that my daughter will be taken care of. I know in certain aspects, she is and will, knowing those that truly love her without the restrictions and tallying of who did what for who over her head. She already has more going for her than MOST her age.
I still have had no call on results of the CT, and the insurance company is apparently going to be an issue. If what is being "suspected" becomes reality, there is going to be a lawsuit, and I will win. The woman who acted as my PCP for several years had multiple mis-steps in diagnoses over the years, one landing her a letter from my endocrinologist, whom she felt she knew more than as a Physicians Assistant, and calling me noncompliant for refusing her instructions. She never truly examined the area in question prior to shipping me off for surgery and therefore, I am going to have her charged with negligence along with a couple of other things.
Hillary and I were talking this morning, too emotional. Not that I would expect any one of my siblings, or thier spoiled offspring to make any sort of connection, Hillary will without a doubt, tear a new oriface to any one of them looking for information. They should be careful of the term Karma, in which I have heard the kids throw around, as they have turned out to be very selfish human beings. Not one of them knew their grandmother on a level that my Hillary does/did, or me either for that matter, and never will. My daughter has more knowledge of family history, on so many levels, health, personal, and some of my brothers encounters as well, I don't believe she has ever held this against them as they have turned on me, her mother., and allowed for her to be shut out. SHE has done nothing wrong, but don't think for a minute, she can't hold her own when approached by an adult, unlike some of the offspring. It was okay to just turn and go about your business because my mother was no longer on this earth, leaving me and Hillary to deal with my father, because in their words, "I'm not taking care of him, he was an asshole to us growing up." Now really, LMAO ..... I can't help but laugh when I read this statement in print coming from grown, adult men, pushing 60!!! "childhood issues" .... holy crap!! Hillary has been stepping up more and more lately to help me with him, and he has the capacity to kill us both. Thanks guys for ALL your help. Yes, where my brothers are concerned, I am bitter, disappointed, hurt, and it seems to appear that they will always feel they are right in their actions of this situation, very selfish, childish, and so in need of therapy ... LOL .... as my mother use to say, "Dumb-ass Irish Mentality" .... deny it and it does not exist, so I guess it will all be my fault, except for those who have witnessed the happenings, even met some of my brothers, just to say after the fact, "your brothers seemed like nice guys, but what a bunch of AH's!" .... This really amuses me as I know it isn't me, it is the perception of those that watch from the outside and see it all very clearly. This is no "Walton" family by any means. Motto should be with the going gets tough, the tough get running .... fast, in the other direction, and never look back.
In any event, I can safely say that my brothers will not be a part of this fight, and I don't want ANY negative energy floating around me while I try to fight this, and I am going to be forward by stating this very well may be my last fight. I am very tired, with many things to get information on. I am going to shoot for stem cells to be a part of the treatment, but no doubt until after they kill off every thing else. We will know more this coming week. All I know, is they better get with the program, my aunt was diagnosed with lymphoma and died 2 weeks to the day after diagnosis. We need more info. I have not been well in respect to constantly being tired this past week, the pain which remains from last weeks ER visit, and nausea which has been pretty constant since the prednisone, which is what I associated it with. Apparently too much going on in my body at the same time.
LMAO .... and then wonder why some are predicting the end of the world. Well ... I was all ready to send my naked ass off into the planetary unknown .... yet .... at 6:45 pm ... I still sit here waiting. My dog has been on top of me for over a week, Hillary seems to think she knows something we don/t. I am going to go with she just really loves being close to me. :D
To those who follow, and believe in the more evidence based world. I, again, thank you for your following me. I will be curious as to how I am to manage my diabetes with what is the potential of Tuesdays visit. Sorry this post was sort of rambling .... I have a lot on my mind.
Peace and Light
et
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