Just some thoughts ...

Happy Saturday!!!

I am still sort of "catatonic" as Hilly would describe in the realm of this becoming a reality for me. I have been just trying to stay focused on work, taking care of things that need the day-to-day attention. Oh, and not to mention the childlike, selfish needs of my father, who has a knack for pushing my buttons. I try very hard not to let him get to me, but really, it is so beyond my comprehension at times as to how one man can be so stupid, so self-centered, don't care about you, take care of me attitude that I honestly don't know how my mother tolerated this sort of behavior for 60 years!!! Anyway, once I get his errands taken care of this afternoon, and listen to what will undoubtedly be 3 hours of ranting about nothing, and no concern what so ever for what is happening now, and wanting nothing more than for me to take him to a casino so he can blow $$ that a brother or 2 may have sent him (which is NOT going to happen this weekend!) I can come home and collect all the things that need to come with me on the trip.

I have been on another round of antibiotic this week, last dose tomorrow for an upper respiratory infection, which I believe just went from my head in November, to my chest now, as this has been the 3rd round of antibiotic since that time. Not exactly the state I wanted to be in going into treatment. I have been trying hard to pump clear fluids (my love of coffee hasn't been so much last couple of weeks:(); fruits, and my whole food supplements as I can't seem to eat as much of this stuff as appears to be recommended. I believe my "Juice Plus" has helped me get through so many of these surgeries, procedures, just keeping me going in a healthy manner, and the stuff has been studied world wide to prove this fact. It's good shit!!!! LOL ....

This past couple of weeks has been .... well ..... I can't come up with a descriptive right now. Work was okay ... I remained focused (not sure how), met my deadlines, tried very hard to get as much work ready for my girls ... hehehe ... so they have work while I am out. They will anyway as a system has been placed to get this done while I am out. They are all such wonderful women, have been so supportive of me, it is really a great feeling to have people in our lives that are so acceptive of each other, we all have trials that require a little extra support from our friends. One woman in our office had two sons leave for boot camp this week, and yet, yesterday, she was so totally apologetic to me, I so would not have expected anything less from her, I can't imagine the anxiety involved in sending our children off to the situations going on in our military today. Absolutely no apologies are needed on my end my friend. My prayers are with you and your boys during this trying time. Another working peer as you might address, came forward after what seemed like several months of chaos to make ammends of sorts, that was ...... not only a shock, but, openly I took it in, and it seemed sincere, I will, however, at this time, not dwell on this topic, remain cautious, and just allow the stars to flow ..... I am not a big fan of being used as a door mat when I really don't have the energy to go about my life with lies and deciept. My objective is to ... as the New Hampshire state motto says ... "Live and Let Live" .... I do not go about life to hurt, destroy, undermine, not into the drama, usually can't remember what I did last week, lol .... I take great pleasure in small conversations, sharing lifes trials and triumphs, the whole live, laugh, love mentality. It is what keeps me content and grounded. Whatever happens ... well .... it must have been meant to be.

Ok ... moving on .... Hillary and I have interacted well this week. I think she knows I am so preoccupied with what is about to happen. I know she would like nothing more than to accompany me, I know she is worried about me traveling alone and not being able to response fast enough to a drastic low. I am prepared to take the extra precautions as we hope for the decreased insulin intake. It is going to require my utmost attention to stay on top. Little does any one know, this factor has me scared to death!!!! Yes, I do have fears, my mother use to tell me she thought I dealt with my disease in such a "graceful manner" ... LMAO ... I very often did not share with her that certain happenings scared the shit out of me, and I often times have wondered myself, "how did I survive that one??" .... it is not a feeling I would wish upon anyone. The loss of time, memory so it seems as time goes on, .... it can be debilitating if one were to dwell on it. I think ... and I truly believe I learned this quality from my mother, you do what you can with what you have, plow forward knowing right from wrong, and hope for the best .... Oh, and ... let's add a little laughter ... because as we both did for so many years, find something in the darkest of situations ... to laugh about, even if it reflected back on us. It helps, it keeps us real, grounded, HUMAN. Everyone has trials, life is not all roses and wine ... it is "full of pricks" as my mother use to say ... LMAO ... it was how we cope and deal with these irritations that makes us stronger people.

Back to Hillary, she had a clinical day yesterday and was assigned to the emergency room. OMG!!! Talk about the kid finding her element ... she was pumped beyond excitement when I picked her up last night. (We have been carpooling this week as her truck is in the shop). She was a nonstop motor mouth for the 30 minute ride home and another 30-45 minutes when we got home. She was so thrilled with the day of adreneline and all the things she was able to demonstrate, with what seemed like effortless goals. She got yet another excellent feed back to the clinical instructor, from the nursing and doc staff in the ER yesterday. I was so proud of her, and she is so animated when she is all excited and passionate about something. I really do think this is the area she would most thrive in, as a parent, I worry about the "burn out factor" involved in this line of medicine.... but I have to say, she is all over the critical thinking and acting ... totally awesome to watch in action. She is and has made me so proud!!! Hillary has been my blessing, my miracle, my ultimate accomplishment. I helped create a woman, a smart, beautiful, fun-loving, passionate, so very intelligent, and determined young woman ... where she decides to go is up to her, but I believe, as I have always told her, the sky is the limit if you want to apply yourself, you can do ANYTHING you want to do!!!! I can't say enough about her and all the things we share ... I hope she holds onto these things her entire life as I believe that they have helped her understand the world, prepare her for the cruelty out there. She is so aware .... but strives to do better, keep the bar high enough, and NEVER let it down.

OKay ... well .... again, lots of anxiety and nausea been hanging on my head this week. Last night, not really sure of times, I think I was already in bed, I felt and was awoken by major heat, so I shuffled to the kitchen, checked my blood, registered as 38 .... WTF .... I am so incoherant, Hilly was not home yet, I don't remember what I ate above the empty cereal box on the counter this morning, I do, vaguely remember sitting on the couch here and not being able to focus, hold my head up, I think I was scared ... it was not a good feeling ... I guess at some point, I shut my pump off ... in any event, when I awoke this morning I was at 504!! this sort of up and down stuff is the stuff that is killing me!! and I can't seem to control it even when I try ... it can be out of this world, frustrating. All my blood work earlier in the week came back "normal" ... .normal .... and yet my A1c was above 7!!! This pisses me to no end knowing I do everything in my power to keep on top of this. It is the most important factor ... without it, I don't function at all. I remain hopeful, and so totally believe that this cutting edge science, is the stepping stone to cures!! I must remain positive, focused, .... but damn, does ANYONE have any idea how hard it is to keep a pace like this throughout an entire life??? The distractions it can cause in lifes day-to-day activities for normal people??? How about we add on .... as life goes on .... arthritis, damaged bones, joints, after effects of being a punching bag, being diagnosed with digestive complications from diabetes, fibromyalgia, PTSD, heatt arrythmia, and some shit I would like to forget about completely, but have had to deal with, without a spouse or significant others .... I have had .... my daughter, for which I often times felt guilt over something I had no control over, had to let it go, and just tell her. She has always been supportive, even when she was not with me, and many times, I did try and get things taken care of without her presense or knowledge until after the fact. It is demanding at best, and a person, even with the best of spirits, gets tired. I am hoping for a little rest, soon, and yet know, I still have a lot of fight to go through .... and hoping that those of you that have taken on my cause, support me daily, have kept me in their prayers, and send constant good vibes and spirit ... I am so GRATEFUL!!! I have truly been blessed in the respect that I have been allowed to touch peoples lives in some small way ... that I touch and/or spark a passion for people to do good, go one step further, and yet ... REMAIN LAUGHING ... for me, laughing has been such an important part of my life, perhaps as a defense mechanism, but without a doubt, a grounding tool, for as long as I can laugh at myself and the things that happen to me, which eases others perception of the situation, no matter what happens, it needs to have a laugh, a smile, a hug, a human connection, and we all have that, we just need to allow to let it shine, and be receptive ... that is the hard part. :D

For all who continue to follow me, you are a blessing to me and my life!!! What you do is beyond words ... and I so appreciate all the support, laughs, kind words, encouragement ... ok ... well enough of pumping up your egos ... LMAO!!

I have things to get done, I will post again, most likely when I get to Texas as I will be alone, and need some sort of "connection" to the human race .... Be well, love those who are in your life, and tell them ..... we only have today, tomorrow is a the ultimate gift.

Peace and Light
ET

Final travel and treatment ....

Well ... I got the final travel and treatment email this afternoon. I do believe the slightest bit of reality and anxiety are beginning to set in. LOL .... I have to laugh, cause I don't want to cry ... I am saving that for the happy times!!

All is set, I just need to gather and pack what I will need (into 2 suitcases) as I will only take the basics on the jaunt for treatment, and a bigger bag to stay with friends upon my return for babysitting purposes until my State side follow up with my own endocrinologist on February 14th. I saw my PCP this morning, not really impressed, but sort of happy he made himself available if I need him prior to the next appointment in 6 months. I am happy in the sense that I would prefer my endocrinologist taking the reigns on this venture, and not having "too many cooks in the kitchen", so to speak. She knows me well, and she knows what I have been dealing with over the last several years and has watched it decline. I had my labs done, so I got copies to share with her and the doctor in Mexico. Let's just say I am thinking I would kill for a couple of Valium by weeks end ... LOL ... and they don't even effect me as they do others ... that is what is funny.

Anyway ... it is all coming down to the wire, and I am still not sure how I should be feeling ... ??? Any words of wisdom from folks would be of great comfort and relief ... hahaha ... no, really. It would seem that all of those around me are or seem to be more excited about this than I have shown. Trust me, I am on a cloud, for so many reasons, I have never had so many feelings/emotions running a muck at the same time ... at least that I can remember.

Well, I have to finish making my bed and get ready for work tomorrow, and gather some belongings for the trip.

Thanks to all!!
Stay warm and dry all of you about to get hit again, with yet another snow storm. I admire your stamina ... I couldn't do it anymore ... I would be in the house until May!! LOL ....

Peace and Light
et

Treatment Overview

Good Morning my faithful followers!!!

Ok ... well ... today, is the worse day pain-wise I have had in a long time. The pain has been building and very steady over the past couple of weeks in great part due to the fact I haven't taken any Aleve in almost 2 weeks. NSAIDs have to be stopped prior to treatment. For many, you know I have been on multiple, if not most, pain meds over the years with no real relief and often times, side effects that could be potentially worse than the pain itself. My body hurts SO badly today that just moving makes me dizzy, nauseated, and wanting to throw-up. Most likely TMI for most, but this sort of pain can stop a person in their tracks. I have been dealing with chronic pain since 1995, and go through periods like this when stress levels are high, and pain meds are minimal to none. Last week at work, I have (along with a couple of coworkers) those bags that you can heat in the microwave to apply heat. Let's just say, between the 3 of us, we keep the microwave running ALL day long. I, need more than one bag at times, one for my shoulders and neck, and one for my lumbar spine. I have always tried to "keep it moving", but there are times, like today, that moving is truely something I can't do very well, and I have a TON of things to get done, and accomplished this week to prep for my trip. My attitude in this aspect as always been, keep it moving, don't complain, and just listen to my body. Today, I am seeing a nap in my very near future ... with heat on my spine, and no doubt wiping out the case of water I just opened yesterday.

Let's just say, the lack of any sort of pain med it certainly bringing to the forefront those "problem areas" in which I was told to tell the doctor about when undergoing my treatment next week.

In regard to the treatment, I would like to give you all a brief overview of what is going to happen, how, where, and what I have done to get here.

As you all know, this has been a long time coming, and not soon enough given the decline I have felt over the past couple of years. When my mom was ill, towards the end, I believe I was on autopilot, just going through what needed to be done and not paying much attention to my body screaming at me. All that sort of "family" stress has continued, only not in a state that has been even remotely rewarding. (That is not meant to be a derogatory comment). Caring for my mother, being part of her dying process was the most rewarding experience of my life next to giving birth to Hillary. It, and she, reinforced the grace under fire mentality, and the human factor that I would like to believe we all have. It was an experience, I will hold with me until the day I die.

With that being said, raising funds, awareness of not only Type I, but of the adult stem cell treatments being offered everywhere but here in the US, or at least that is how it seems. I had no idea that people would be so open to the knowledge I apparently have to offer ... LOL .... I am not a stupid woman. I do, however, have a very warped sense of humor, in which has worked incredibly well for me over the years in many ways. It helps keep me grounded, it helps keep me real, it helps others to see that in spite of what I deal with, I can and do still laugh. (Although, it would seem, to me, that my laughter is dimming, I feel it, I see it in my eyes). I don't want that to happen, and right now, with all that has happened in the past couple of months, and certainly in the past couple of weeks, has to keep me going, for a while. I want to prove to so many, mostly political, closed minded types, that this science is here, and we as Americans, should insist on being offered this sort of medical care, instead of bleeding those of us who kill ourselves just to keep alive, not including what others take for granted. To my "Angels" who made this dream, wish, fight, a reality, Thank you seems minor, I will be forever indebted to you for your generosity, love, and hopes right along with me for a better future. I am totally and completely overwhelmed with the love and support that has been shown to me. I have no idea, what it is that I bring to peoples lives to make them feel the way they do about me ??? Really, no idea .... I am not rich, I am not beautiful, I have few material things, I have a very warped outlook at times in regard to nature, the human body, and life in general. I know, that I often offend some, but ... really, I am just stating what most are thinking and are afraid to voice. I am not a fan of being politically correct, lay it out there, deal with it, get over it, move on!!! (oh, and don't forget to scrap that crap off your shoes before you move on, don't want anything leaving a stain on the future) ... LMAO ... (some of you will get that comment :D)

Ok ... well ... on Tuesday I will fly to TX, upon arrival I will take part in an orientation to prep for Weds. treatment. I am scheduled to undergo my procedure at 8:30. It will take approximately 4-5 hours start to finish. They will take blood (a new piece to the treatment). With this blood they will separate the PRP (protein rich plasma) and infuse some of the stem cells that will be removed to create a "cocktail" of sorts. This will be used on the "problem areas" I mentioned above. A new piece to the treatment, which I guess you could call a bonus, but we are paying for it as the cost of treatment went up to $12,500 from $10K when I first started this venture. Moving on, they will be removing adipose tissue (fat!!) from my abdomen and processing this to remove the dormant stem cells we all have, and as we age, the ability to utilize slows, or diminishes. When the process is complete (if you want more detailed, scientific definition, see some of my research links) they will infuse these now active cells back into my body via IV. the cocktail will be used as an injection method to pinpoint problem areask, such as my spine, neck, etc. I then return back to my hotel on the US side, and fly home to Phoenix on Thursday afternoon.

Seems pretty simple right .... ???? Tomorrow I see my local PCP, check on recent labs, get copies, place a plan for calls if and when I need when I get back home, locally. On Monday, Feb 14th, I will meet with my endocrinologist in Phoenix to adjust my pump and place a plan for "tweaking" my insulin intake as the stemmies get to work. This is the part I am so unsure of, that I can only pray, and do the best I can to monitor more closely. This sort of monitoring makes me want to stay close to home, like STAY HOME, until I know. Unfortunately, that doesn't pay the mortgage or the other bills and I must go back to work.

That is it in a nutshell ... I am not really scared of the treatment, or what may happen afterward as the positives so outwiegh the negatives of this procedure. It is the being alone and knowing how I can get now, am cautious as to how fast I could drop out and that scares me .... almost as much as I see the concern and helplessness on those around me when this happens and I am like "lights on, but no one is home" look and behavior.

All the prayers, good wishes, support, emotional and financial in which I have recieved is overwhelming, humbling ...and beyond my comprehension at times.

On that note, I can barely move, weather says we may get snow tonight, which is not helping my bone and muscle pain .... going to make myself a hot cup of tea, heat my bag and lay down for a while. Often times, just sleeping, helps my body rejuvenate to the point of functionality ... good thing it's the weekend.

Peace, Light, and much Love!!!!
et

Count Down ....

Hello to everyone!!!

I hope this post finds everyone happy, healthy, and WARM, especially my East Coast folks, and a few I know from the Midwest. You have been hit hard this winter. I know that I could not cope with that sort of weather anymore. That much snow would keep me in the house until May!! .... LOL ....

On the treatment front:
Many people are counting down the days, ten days, as I have been informed this morning by my loving daughter. She is very excited. A phone call with a very special person this morning was evident of excitement, prayer, and hope for what this has the potential to do, and not just for me. For me, well .... I really have tried to stay focused on what I need to do in many aspects of my so-called responsibilities. Therefore, this past week, I have focused on my deadlines at work. I had a deadline of yesterday for a multitude of work to be completed. I made it ... with not as much OT as I had anticipated. All that came from me NOT thinking about what may be in just a little over a week. I am not nervous about the treatment, not really worried about going over the border, etc. I do wish that someone I know, who knows me, who understands what I deal with and how fast it can happen, could accompany me, but with the economy, cost of airfare, the need for a passport, and time off, to babysit me for 3 days, was too much. That is ok, I totally understand and am so happy with all the prayers, good wishes, support, encouragement, I know that there must be a hundred other adjectives that describe the gratitude I feel for all of this, from ALL of you!!! I will be fine. DEAR friends, will take me to the airport, pick me up from the airport, and watch over me, as they have done so many times in the 10 years I have lived in AZ, until I meet with my endocrinologist on Monday ... February 14 at 8:00 AM..... what sort of love fix is that??!! .....

So ... I have one week to finish up my work on the job, I am pushing myself (not always sure why I do this) to get caught up to the point where I need not worry, which I should be doing anyway ... but ...given the economy, I need my job and am glad I have one at this point, so ... put my best feet forward. This past week, I was called by the travel guy with ISCI to confirm my flight info, there will be someone at the airport with my name on a piece of cardboard ... LOL ... to take me to the hotel and begin the process. The night before treatment there will be an orientation, process, thinks to be aware of, schedule (I am scheduled to be first of the day @ 8:30AM), hopefully, I will sleep that night. Being alone, not having anyone to bounce stuff off of, and just wondering, ..... I know it's coming ... I have so much going on in my thoughts that I have pushed to the back of my mind recently that will come to the forefront when I am all alone, waiting for life to change.

I will keep you all posted as to how it goes, what will happen as we go along with the process. As I have stated in the past, this is not yet a CURE, but it is my heartfelt belief, that it is the biggest step to a cure for so many diseases that it must not be overlooked or understated!!! Please hold that in your deepest support area. I may have excellent results from this first treatment, but it is possible, and very likely that a 2nd treatment will be needed to keep things on an even keel. So out fundraising efforts can't end just yet. I am all to aware of the fact that so much of society is struggling. Me and Mine have been struggling to stay on top, not even ahead, for months. With my daughter having lost hours at work due to budget cuts, the possibility of her losing her job all together, is still a risk. I have been luck in that I have a job, and it seems to be stable at the moment, but with more budget cuts on the horizen, I too, could be out. That would mean we would lose our house, our vehicles, etc ... something I refuse to look at presently. I believe, we work hard, we find a way to get through. For me, lately, the support, love, and encouragement I have had from people really has kept me going. But ... like yesterday morning, risk and danger of what could happen is a reality. It is just not a topic I like to dwell on, anything can happen, to anyone, any day, to worry about these things does not allow one to focus on the solving of the problem.

Ok ... I was rambling .... prepare for a little more of that ... there is a psychological factor that goes along with anyone who suffers with a chronic disease, and those around them as well. As always, from the start of this little adventure, I have welcomed comments, feedback, opinions, I am always open to questions, a diolog, anything to open the conversation on this topic of bringing it to the US ... and allowing our citizens, the working class citizens and not just the rich, to use it and benefit from it. Let's take care of our own people, learn from these other countries, scientists, doctors, and people who have undergone this little miracle for all.

Again, much love and thanks for continued prayers and support!!
I will be in touch!!!
Peace and Light!!!
et

God works in mysterious ways ....

Greetings !!!

I come this morning with overwhelming news. I am GOING TO MEXICO!!!
Yesterday, I got a message stating that I was wanted "to grow old with us" along with the remaining funds to book my treatment, my flight, and follow up doctor appointment!!!!! I was overwhelmed, numb, "catatonic" for several hours according to my loving child, who was very emotional as well. Angels, right here in my life!!! So many, and all so very precious to my being.

How can you thank someone for such an overwhelming, self-less, and generous contribution to my life? To help, with hope, that my life gets better and things calm down a tad so that I can grow old, or at least 65. That would be a good number ... I think ... 69 tops.... LOL.

The past year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have had multiple disappointments, not that I can't handle disappointment, but .... I have tried so hard to plow forward, educate those who question my disease, and my goal of undergoing the adipose stem cell treatment. A year later, I have educated, I have sparked interest, and knowledge, and perhaps in certain cases, opened a slightly closed mind in regard to the science. In just the recent weeks since the November fundraiser, multiple articles have been printed in regard to the stem cell treatment, all positive, and promising outcomes. One in particular, was a diabetic ulcer gone bad and doctors wanted to amputate. Stem cells treatment applied, and boom!!! Repair and regenerate, and no amputation needed as the wound began to heal beautifully. Now, I am sure, as I have seen them, talked to a couple I think, and read many entries in which I thought the organizations, people, etc., were nothing more than a scammer. I have tried to weed through all this sort of negative press and feel I have found a reputable, safe, and high standard organization to do the treatment. I am, now, currently, in a frame of mind in which it is hard for me to verbalize at the moment. I am allowing thoughts like, plane ticket, crossing t's and dotting I's ... and then, most likely on a plane ride, or the night before, will lie and wonder. What will happen? What will life be like when my new stemmies start plowing through the worn out, broken parts of my body?? How long will it take?? Every person is different. My doctor seems to think it will be 2 weeks before we start to see any drop in insulin intake, my guess is less than a week. I do nothing by textbook ... LMAO ... never have, why would it start now??

I have been trying to plan a future .... as the norm, I try not to plan too far ahead. Could this change ... just a bit?? I take one day at a time, we may not have that, so we need to enjoy the moment we are in .... but .... how irresponsible, if I didn't try and plan ahead?? It is a tough balance at times, as my life has become in recent months. One day has just blended in with the other, I have been on autopilot, robotically going through my job process, for the most part, dispensing most of my energy on work, getting home, feeling like I have been beat with a bat, try to listen to my body and just ... well ...head to bed ... usually before 9, just so that I can get the rest I need to do it all again for 8 hours the next day. My stamina has faded, (not that I was ever overloaded with stamina to start with), I will undergo lab work in the morning, that should cover me up to treatment, and then .... oh my .... I have no idea, it is a sort of adrenaline thing, what is going to happen?? I have such hope, and then, if this makes the difference I think it will, I would love nothing more than to be some sort of spokesperson, I want more people to know that the science to help, in a much more natural approach in my opinion, is out there, our government, however, is so money hungry, pharmaceuticals might lose some of their cash flow, too bad!! There are too many people in today's society suffering from devastating, debilitating degenerative diseases that can be improved greatly with this science. Why, a question I ask all too frequently, must we suffer while some get rich off of our misfortune??? In spite of the fact I like small crowds, I am passionate about this topic and would overcome my unsteadiness of speaking in public to shout from the rooftops what I get the stability I hope for.

Please, continue to pray for me, for those who support and love me, for those Angels in my corner, both on this plane and the one on the other side .... more details will follow this week for sure as things begin to fall into place. Follow me ... hoping that whoever decides they will accompany me, will be able to pick up on subtleties that will be positive, in spite of the fact, I fear a drastic low, so I must be diligent about testing and keeping an eye on my pump and insulin intake. A good babysitter who knows me well in these "stupid" modes will be my best friend this week .... LOL .....

Peace and Light to all !!!
with much love
et

I'm tired of being sick .....

I'm sick of being tired! .......

Come on .... someone HAD to have seen that one coming. :D

It is true though.... I have been fighting something since early November, spent the week from Christmas Eve to the Monday after New Years. I went back to work after being out for a week, over both holidays .... Not exactly my idea of a vacation. I have so many projects that need to be done at home, on the home, etc. There is not enough energy left in my batteries when I get home from work that I have been in bed anywhere from 7:15, to no later than 7:45. I am wiped ..... but .... am trying hard to plump up the immune system, maybe I can finally blow this out soon. I am on my 2nd round of antibiotics, yesterday beginning a stonger round and some heavy duty decongestant. I slept most of today away, still dragging........??? I just have not felt right .......

...... I met yesterday with my new PCP, upon recommendation of my daughter, and a local doctor she works with. (I do so really enjoy these sort of discussion and interaction, the brains and the humanity!!) He was very nice, good personality, appeared to be thorough, ordered blood work ...ggrrrrr.... which I will have drawn maybe Thursday, but definately before weeks end. He wants me back in 3 weeks.....??? Let's see what follow up says .... again, it's not right.

Then there is the day-to-day stressors in which I've been trying to cope with for over 2 months now. The dreaded day job .... I love my job topic, area of focus, always learning something new (for me it's the body, like a fine HD piece of machinary ... haha). In any event, being honest on many levels, hasn't gotten me a lot of brownie points in my status. I am on my 3rd supervisor in less than a month.....hmmmmm ..... and where do you think they would take that. What irritates me most, is how these "corporate" types, that give the illusion of go-getters .... (that was the nicest way I could put it)will step on you, kick you, make you think he/she truely is a "part of the team" in actuality, can't see past the end of thier own noses ..... LOL ..... (I'm giggling here, try it, makes me dizzy)anyway ... I finally got a cohort, I think she knows her stuff and we can certainly help each other make it to the next level of our education. "Biggies" don't always see the big picture and the lower rungs of the ladder, break, fall off, or just get left with s&#* all over them .... lmao ..... yes people, I do find this sort of amusing in a sick way. All I want is to do my job, to the best of my ability. I think that given my easy-going personality, I try, actually, I don't really, it's just who I am; enjoy doing things around my homw, to make me happy, and feel at ease, whatever the time line to get it done, so long as I am enjoying it as I am going along.

Lots of varied thoughts lately. In part, due to this stupid vertigo that seemed to have come along with this ear/UR infection in which is still lingering in my neck/throat. We will see what the labwork and the med does .... hopefully by weeks end.

I do return to work in the morning, at the old office, in which I was under the impression I would be there less often, WRONG ..... seems I have been set up all pretty .... YAK .... it makes me really leary of corporate administrator, of what ever title that is this week, think that is "where it's at" ... LOL ... LOL...LOL .... Not for me baby!!! .... I have come to that point in my life, where I would like to fight on and fight hard, for change in research, better coverage, stem cell procedures in this country would be a marvelous legacy .... continue with my JDRF research, and see if I can get this done SOON to show others in positions to take it to another level, that it will work, it has proven safe and effective for so many, make it available here, under research/university hospitals .... my thoughts are being disrupted ... (it's a 90 lb beauty that thinks she is a lap dog!!!)

Signing out .... will check back soon, hopefully for ALL with a cleared head, less fuzzy.

Be well everyone .... Light and Love
et

PS: I quickie of the lap-dog :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Welcome 2011 ...
Happy New Year !!!

Peace, Love & Light
et

As another year comes to an end ...

Greetings to all who have followed me on this journey ....
The journey that will not seem to come to an end..... yet.

I have been exceptionally humbled in the venture. I am just a small piece of a what could be a very big picture. I really want this treatment, I want to prove that it will not only have positive results for me, but that it has the potential to help so many others. It has been such an experience to speak with people, strangers, people who have some of the same issues, know or love someone who suffers from the challenges of Type I, and others who are just so inspired by the drive and/or the science. It really is a very cool area of the science picture, and it remains my goal to be a part of that science for the future of our health care where debilitating diseases are concerned. Thank you .... for your continued prayers and support in this venture.

As the new year comes into play, I know that my health is my main concern currently as it is not going as well as I had hoped and with continued stress on so many levels, it is withering downward faster than I would care to admit. I want to receive the treatment and in hopes of a better future for myself, to help educate and inform others on the potential. I would like to continue my education in regard to my career. That will be an undertaking, and also costly, and something I am very hesitant about not knowing how I may weather the ride. I don't like to think on those lines, but I do have other responsibilities in my life that currently take priority. I have my home, my daughter, who is very self-sufficient, but still somewhat dependent on my support to complete her degree in nursing. She is going to make an incredible nurse. Then there is my father ... whose health and mental status continues to fail and place a great deal of stress on both Hillary and myself, along with all the "handling" of such issues when he does pass, all to be completed in a 30 day span, being out of work, and tending to legalities. Hmmmmm ..... I don't remember being brought up in a one-child family .... hahahhahahah ...... being a grown up sucks at times.... which might be a big reason I look at life in a child-like frame of mind at times.

In any event, it has been a long, bitter-sweet year in the happenings of my life. I continue to learn and grow, hopefully, remaining true to my heart and beliefs and not with any intention of hurting anyone. I do feel strongly about my stance, and I will do my best to educate those who seem to be so ignorant to the fact that there is a lot of people who suffer in this world, pull your heads out of that "hole" and look at the truth of a matter, and not just what might benefit you at any given time. Ignorance is not an excuse ....

To those people who have come to my side, opened their hearts, their homes, and donated time and monies to the "cause" .... I am forever grateful and eternally in your debt. To get the word out there, promote awareness, continue to live life to the best of my ability, and hopefully, make a difference in someone else's life.

THANK YOU ..... again, just doesn't seem like enough .....
To all, I hope that 2011 brings peace, hope, and continued health to all my loved ones, friends, family, and those who quietly move in and about to help others. Your spirit is a gift beyond any other .... and I am grateful to be a receiver of such.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

PEACE AND LIGHT
et

Merry Christmas !!!

To my friends, family, unknown followers,

In this season of peace and joy, and to celebrate the birth of Jesus .... let us all remember the meaning of the season and rejoice in the life we have.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and with the upcoming week, a Happy, Healthy 2011!

On Thursday afternoon as I was preparing to leave the office when a delivery woman came in with a small bouquet of flowers and a gift bag. In this beautiful holiday bag was a card and in this card, signed "For the Cause, Love Santa Clause" was a bank check for $1000!! I was so completely overwhelmed my knees buckled and I became teary eyed. I don't know who, but I am so grateful for this holiday gift to benefit my cause for the adult stem cell treatment. I am hoping .... praying..... and trying so very hard to stay on top of everyday life, trying to promote fund raising efforts has been difficult to say the least. I know that there is talk of a dance, for the younger crowd being worked on by Hillary and a couple of her cohorts. Not sure of when or any details as of yet.

For the past year, I would like to thank those who continued to support, pray, contribute, love, and keep me "up" when there have been times when my physical health is (like the past month)a challenge to get through the day, week, month. The year went by so fast, and yet so many things transpired. I am eternally grateful for the generosity of human spirit. I am thrilled with those who have taken an interest in the science of stem cell treatments and what they can do for so many. I want that to be my mission for 2011 .... I am determined to undergo this treatment and so hoping that I can get it prior to any major (to some it would seem I am already at that point) complication takes another hit and deteriorates my status even more. This treatment has major potential to do so much.

So .... Here is to 2011 ..... may it be a year of new knowledge, increased awareness, and continued peace and love to all!!!

Be well my friends .... peace and light!!
et

Holiday stress + everyday stress =

Morning to all!!

Seems as though Mother Nature is dumping her wrath across the world this week. I hope everyone is safe, warm, traveling safely, etc. Let's us not forget that we have no control over Mother Nature, so we must just find a way to cope with the inconvienences she creates. It is no one's fault, not the trains, the planes, not even the automobiles .... only the drivers.... LOL.

In response to all the stressors of the times, financial, economic, (sort of the same thing); lack of adequate healthcare for ALL .... work, home, and anything else you can come up with that may throw a knife into what you thought might be the perfect plan..... add the everyday juggle of dealing with a chronic disease. You have a lot to cope with. In recent weeks, my blood sugars have been up and down not like a yoyo, but a freaking super-ball. Last night is a prime example, over stressed, loosing grip, on edge, uncertain on so many levels of life, I went from 124 upon awaking, 224 up leaving my meeting, by the time I got home it was 276, and that was with corrections. I had little to eat yesterday due to nausea and anxiety cramping any real appetitie. Hillary went to work, I get down to 116 before bed, seems good to medicate with a couple of Tylenol Pm and I am up at 11:15 in a 39 frame of mind ..... STUPID!!! I have a 1/2 of peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk, decide I am going back to bed and fall asleep before checking my stats, I awake at 6 AM with a 424!! ..... all this up and down is far from good, this is the stuff that does major damage, on so many levels. It is bad enough that in recent years this has been sort of a norm, minus the ultimate highs, mostly lows, and the unawareness of such. I can't function with a head that doesn't know which end of the spectrum it should be functioning at.

I took today off. Just had a chat with my HR director, AKA new direct supervisor. It seemed pretty positive in regard to my current status, but .... I am still deeply, deeply hurt by the actions of a certain person who was once considered not only my supervisor, but a friend. That I can honestly say, is totally over, and apparently, given her words, she never was. Funny, people play games with other peoples feelings and personal lives, just to advance thier own, and give no bones about any sort of ramifications, personally, professionally, or even on a human level. To me, these sorts of personalitys suffer from some sort of disorder .... what is that saying ... all the nuts are the ones with a high level of intelligence .... RUN, the monkeys have taken over the banana factory!!! LMAO .... I have no real purpose for people like this ... therefore, I better place that barricade up around my sensitive little heart again, and beware of any sort of intrusion into my quiet, tranquil style of life ... hahahaa .... (Still hoping for that wish to come true). In all honesty, I just want a quiet, enjoyable lifestyle, with my dearest friends and family, to enjoy each other, and each day given to us to make a difference. The lack of any sort of human component in life today, is sort of sad. No one seems to know how to communicate in a face to face manner, in a manner of humanism. I think this fact really needs to come back to the forefront before something devastating happens in the world, because it will be then, at that time, that the strong will survive, and those that "believe" they have all it takes, will no doubt crumble due to lack of coping skills in a humanistic nature, it won't be "all about me." It will have to become the survival of a nation ... which requires a team approach, a caring, nuturing manner of not only ourselves, but those around us.

Man, I wish I could get paid for some of this writing nonsense ... to me ... it looks pretty thought provoking .... LOL ...

I have to shower, and go take my dad to the store in his effort to help with Christmas dinner. It is what my focus will be for this afternoon anyway. Tomorrow is another day ..... and that my friends, is how I have to care for me right now, one day at a time, one moment as they come, and do the best I can to get through them, triumphantly ....

Have a wonderful day and please have safe travels, and slow the pace to enjoy and smell the tiny gifts that are right in front of us.

Peace and Light!!
et

Honesty Hits too hard sometime ...

I am always amazed that come the holiday season, the season of "Good Will Towards Men...", that a situation seems to present, usually something that has been lingering for months, maybe years for some, that just HAS to teach a lesson!!!

Today, at this very moment, I am not sure if I am having some sort of lingering panic attack (several hours worth now), or perhaps signs of a heart attack. I am going to go with the first one at present. I am sick to my stomach, physically ill, tense, shaky, stiff, achy, my jaw is tense (maybe from grinding my jaw).

I need to write/type, as I don't know what the lesson should be here now, and I don't take any sort of antianxiety med ...LOL..or if it is just a sign to stop my fight (my spirit, my very being)??? It became so blatantly obvious to me this morning .... that BAD people do exist ... "Little Bernie Maddoff's" come to mind. WIN, WIN, WIN ... at any cost, ANY cost at all. I am not that sort of person. I have never been one of these persons, and as of what I saw clear, without my glasses this morning was a reality that I truly believed I had overcome so many years ago. I guess my outlook on life can be very, unrealistic to some, but I realize that everyone copes with life's crises the best way they can .... I think ...??? I still question this theory ....there have been very few people in my life, that I can place in such categories.

This is a verbalizing of deep pain, inflicted of my own doing ... for believing that people can be honest, to the point of pain. I can attest, from personal experience, that there are very few people in life that can meet this personal challenge. A challenge that allows yourself to become vulnerable, raw, to the point of what seems like deep pain. It is not a place I like to be, but it seems, each time I have to cope with a situation in which requires me to place my whole self on the table, often in hopes that that other parties will participate, and am so deeply disappointed when I encounter a person who is just not capable of anything on that level. Makes me appreciate the fact that there are VERY FEW people left on this Earth who truly know who I am, what made me this way, my hurts, my joys, my pride, my intense over-reactive emotions, the pains that made me stronger in spirit, the awareness to know that I have touched people's lives, just for living mine, for whatever they see in me, a mean, cruel, heartless person, I don't think I could be. An ability to say to my loved ones, "This is who I am, this is who you are, we can agree to disagree, but continue to allow the love to grow deeper", in a more respectful manner. We all "bark" ... at some point in life, it is a human quality. Like a couple of nephews have pointed out over the years, "her bark is WAY worse then her bite." the ability of one to accept each other, with humor and respect, on a human level is a feeling that more people should experience on the "raw" level.

It sort of brings me back to my latest opinion of the great country I am suppose to live in. I see our young people, blindly going to war, with no coping skills what-so-ever. A whole generation of kids that were not taught pride, ethics, hard work, pays off more than any amount of money, material possessions, or status ever will. A country that will no doubt continue to see the greed, power trips, inhumanity of our fellow man and/or anther's circumstances. I always look at how much worse others have it, that my health and status on this plane is minor in the big scheme of things. I am a believer in karma ... I have seen it, been witness to it, and it becomes more and more clear to me every year of my existence.

I don't want to give up on humanity. Yet, my ability to fight such a strong ethical, humane manner in which to communicate with people, is growing old ... like me ... hahaha .... I have never been a fan of the whole "Politically Correct Movement" ... and I will, without a doubt, refuse to conform to such at this point in my life. There is a right, and there is a wrong, and it should play continuously from every corner of life for us. The journey, for me, has been far from an easy trip, mostly gravel ... lol... I have done my very best to make the best of bad situations with humor and some grace, because THEY HAPPEN TO ALL OF US!!! .... it's a fact people, deal with it!!

There are very few who will understand one word of this "Sermon" .... for those that do ... GOD, I LOVE YOU!!!! For these are the people, the souls, who have made me, in part the person I am today.

He died for us .... Let's not forget the sacrifice ...
In His Love, the spirit of the season,
Peace, Love, and Light!!
et

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all ..... sleep in heavenly peace ...

Tis the Season .....

Greetings to All!!

From the bottom of my heart, and depths of my soul, I would like to wish everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY, HEALTHY, NEW YEAR!!!

With that being said, I have more than I can cope with coming into the new year. I am sitting with less fundraising than I had hoped for, really hoping to get the treatment prior to the new year. Hillary and I have been struggling for months to stay on top of the bills, not very successfully, I might add. I refuse to touch monies set aside for treatment. With the new year comes new medical insurance, which I just know, is going to be costly and cause more distress in terms of over all health. You know, with the stress of trying to come up with out-of-pocket cash until I reach a rather chunky deductible. Still caring for Dad, who is on the decline and anyone who has cared for a loved one, elderly, or otherwise, knows that this alone wears on one's stamina and well being. I have been ill for over a week now, pushing myself as I always have, only to discover, I don't have what I once did .... the stamina. I have .... tried to keep up the 40-hour a week job with high stress levels, unrealistic expectations in a bad economy, not to mention my poor health, yet I allowed myself to be pushed.

For the new year, I want my treatment, I want to be able to spout the benefits for so many people that this is where our future lies. I want to advance my education in relation to my job area. Keep my loved ones, friends and family, close and enjoy each day to the fullest. I would LOVE to have a vacation ... a break that did not include doctor appointments, my being sick, or any sort of a hospital stay and/or recuperation. I would love to sit on a beautiful island somewhere with a few good books that have gone unread for up to two years now. Just to vegetate, relax, sleep when I want, enjoy the sunshine of each day, rain if it shows its face, no phones, a massage, jacuzzi, poolside ocean views, total relaxation!! What a dreamer I am hey?? LOL.

For today ... I will rest, take care of my inner self, as well as my ailments (infection on top of stress makes for high BGs). I will take care of the business in which needs tending, the doctors, the IRS, work .... I am going to put in for some time off in the next couple of weeks ... like a couple of extended long weekends. I have so much crap to get rid of .... I don't know what happened to any sort of organizational skills I may have once had, as I have no clue where they are now!! :D

Am back on the couch, about to assume the horizontal position to place my ear on the heating pad again .... I must get my behind back to work tomorrow, in spite of my wish for a 5 day stint in the hospital, just to get my rest, and hydration. That is pretty sad .... To all who continue in my fight with me ... a joyous, meaningful Christmas season. (Or .... whatever belief you may have in regard to this joyous season, I thank you for being part of my life.

Peace and Light
et

Call it what you want

Above - My Maggie ... looking like I feel ..... "just leave me be"


Good Evening people ....

I am not well, and although I try hard not to dwell on the things that make my life a little more difficult than some, I am tired, and not feeling right these days. I don't know if it is due to the holiday season, which I would like nothing more than to participate in .... for the real reason of the season, I am not physically or emotionally able to grasp on to it at present time.

I am finding it very difficult to verbalize the feelings I have had in recent weeks, but I don't feel right. (some would say that I've never been right to start with ... hehehe) ... there is still humor to be had, but I just can't muster up the energy to get past or through a work day. I am feeling that my work related stress in the past few months may be coming to a head and not sure if I will survive the fight on that war. On my health battle, I know, personally, in my heart, from listening to people say they think I am so courageous, strong, and a few other adjectives I just don't see myself to be as a true testament to what I have been teaching people. Does any of this make sense?? I am beginning to wonder why I am fighting so hard?? I know that you can't reach everyone, but can so many people be so completely ignorant? Be that well off in so many aspects of life that they believe something devastating could happen to them, or someone they love?

I often times tell Hillary that yes, we have seen more than our share of sorrow and sadness, but in that, we also have learned some very important life lessons. To be honest, even when it hurts beyond belief, tell those you love, that you love them when you have the chance because that opportunity may not show its face again. Life is short in the big scheme of things, and moments need to be taken in, cherished, enjoyed, even if they hurt. I am tired, and not sure how long my fight will hold on. I have the spirit, but I need the rest. I am so exhausted from the full-time work, the issue that lingers daily with the ultimate passing of my dad, which is becoming more and more apparent. What Hillary and I will have to deal with when that happens and the time frame in which we will have to complete the tasks at hand. Financial worries just like 95% of the nation/world today. I am not special, I have the same fears and worries many people have. I pray, yes, to some that may sound odd, but I do believe that I have always had an uncanny spiritual back up. That spirits from my life, and those I never knew, but met in the time of my diagnosis .... I always and often times thought I was crazy. Knowing what I saw, how I don't recall any real pain in the process other than the emotional pain I felt having to cope as an adult and not a child. I had an ability to relate to older people, children, animals, and strangers, in a manner in which I felt very comfortable, it was a gift, and I have enjoyed the experiences I have dealt with in my life. The loss of loved ones, being able to tell them, most of them, in a manner in which we all seemed to just "connect", believing that we will in deed, one day be together again, and what a hell of a party it will be!!!

When does one know this may be approaching ??
I am not afraid ... but I am not really ready .... I want more out of life. I want to see places, touch people, let them all know how much they mean to me, how things they said or did had really touched me ... why must life be all about material possessions, how BIG your "things" are ... why is that so important?? What has happened to the human spirit?? Too many questions, and not a whole lot of answers. If so many people have this outlook, then why is the world in the chaos it is??

Again, too many questions, and I am tired, I obviously can't make the difference I had hoped to for the children of the future, with such hope that in the near future they would not have to grow up like I did, deal with the constant juggling of life's journey with a devastating disease ... I sometime think that only those who actually live with it can understand, but I know that isn't the case, as there are so many that love us, that have witnessed episodes and feel so helpless as to how to make us "better." I want that .... not just for me, for a little longer, but for those kids that will be diagnosed today, tomorrow ... and .....my mother use to tell me how proud she was of me in how I dealt with life and its stuggles, how she didn't think she could do it, little did she know, I learned this coping skill from her. I am no hero ...

Thanks for listening to my ramble ... does anyone have answers?? Can anyone offer up a strategy that I have missed??

You all remain a huge support for me in this difficult time in my life ... and for that I am eternally grateful!!

Sweet dreams to all!!
Peace and Light
et

Let the Holiday stress begin ...

Greetings and a Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!!

On the eve of this holiday in which by all standards we should be "thankful" for the blessings given to us. I am. It is also a time of year that I get sort of worn out, blue in the last couple, etc. With the loss of my Mom on 10-27-08, that wound is still so very fresh as I miss her presence every single day. Hillary and I laugh at times out of the blue in regard to a comment, or something stupid we did, or something we saw that "gramma would have loved that!" or "What would gramma think?" I so wish I could talk with her face to face just a few more times, and this was her time of year. She loved making dinner for ... well .. the more the merrier. It just isn't the same for Hilly, myself, and dad. We have opted to do no cooking this year as Hillary and I are completely exhausted with both of us suffering from work-related stress, and for her, school and finances, as a good portion of this nation is. Dad, too, is not holding up so well that last few weeks. I will say, that Dad attended the benefit and said and seemed to others to be having a wonderful time, in spite of not really understanding how the disease progresses, only knowing that people die, young, and in his normal mode of coping, lives in denial.

Hillary is finishing up this semester in the nursing program and really getting pumped up about only having 2 left to have her degree. She wants more trauma .... I can't wait for less and a calming, serene mode of life. For me, that will come when I get my treatment and ultimately can move on, hopefully to a work situation where folks are less phony, less all about me, less about you, no two-faced BS. Now, at my age, this should roll right off, but .... I still find myself giving people too much room and then ultimately get burned. These past weeks have pretty much come to a head, with a particular person not (in my opinion) having the emotional ability to deal with a problem head on and see what happens. It is so much easier for people like this to just use you, and when they seem to have used you up, gotten what they wanted out of you, and are looking good in their mind, toss you to the curb like old garbage .... and then, instead of laying the issue on the table and allowing the feelings, opinions, and explanations to come to light, it is easier to assume, stomp your feet, slam doors, and scrape that person right off your shoes as if they never existed. Sad ... and these are suppose to be grown ups, people in position of a sort of power. Seems to be the mentality of a good part of this country in recent times. It's all about "you", it's all about "how much can I get", "how far can I push another" etc. All I want ..... is to be able to do my job, to the best of my ability, be given the tools to do such job, to have the guidance of a supervisor who may care about the job being done instead of becoming nonexistent due to the climbing of the corporate ladder and looking dumber with every climbing rung. .... LOL .... that one was great.... I like it!!!

Anyone who makes a statement such as "I'm not here to make friends" should have been a sort of red flag, call me stupid!! Any person who knows me, truly knows that I take my friendships VERY seriously, and I am committed to a good many of them on a level that very few "get." Good, bad, happy, sad, in times of need, trouble, etc. I will not take advantage of someone, I will give the shirt off my back if someone needed it and I would go without .... because my friends mean that much to me. Now, when you think someone has become a friend (obviously cautious)and then you do something with their best interest at heart it runs the risk of a blow up, not the "spoiled brat syndrome" (in which so many seem to raise their children these days) stomp your feet, spew your snotty attitude, make the other person feel like dirt, (yet again), not to mention weeks of behind your back talk to people she should not be spouting off to given her position, not my idea of a primo supervisory exhibit...... therefore, I am going to spend this weekend updating my resume, perhaps send a few out, and hope .... I really wanted my treatment prior to making this sort of move given how my health has been so up and down in recent months. But, one thing in my favor, and I have multiple letters of recommendation coming in from others who have had to work with me, have supported not only my work ethics, but my personal determination to plug on. In spite of not feeling well on many, many occasions, I can honestly say, and others will say the same as they have witnessed my determination, that there have been many days where I should have stayed home and my ass made it to work. How long can I keep that up? Why would I want to? I mean really, I have given more than 100% while on the job only to come home and allow my house and home life to go to the dogs because I am so totally emotionally drained, physically exhausted that I just change and am in bed to try and regenerate before the alarm goes off again with no real reward, no acknowledgement of a good job done or thanks for giving me your all, only to make another person look good. If an organization is to work by it's own philosophy of "team" work, and the team or parts of the team, seems to cover those who don't play fully or fairly, and then the big gun takes all the credit ..... this is to me emotional blackmail ... and some people are just too stupid to see it. Others, sort of like myself, see it, try hard to play along for as long as possible in hopes of change and maybe an eye opening experience .... for me, only to be let down yet again by corporate beings and their lack of appreciation for the people that help get them where they are..... and yet ... still living in the flipping poverty level while they are traveling all over, often times on business, yet returning with no real data to share with those they should be ... it's is all, in my opinion, corporate BS!!!!

I have never played this game very well. I have never been able to curb my lack of political incorrectness. I call it as I see it, if the baby is ugly, the baby is ugly ... don't get me wrong, I don't speak my mind with the intention of hurting anyone. But .... let's be real here folks .... is the constant of today's society really need to have all this BS floating around? Kids today don't know how to lose, they think every one wins, and they should learn to lose graciously, that it is how you play the game, not if you win or lose. There are lessons in both. God forbid your self-esteem take a hit, this is why I think there are so many selfish people such as the person who has contributed so much stress to my work life recently with the inability to deal with, or perhaps cope with an issue that obviously hit to close to home. I can't even say that this is not my problem, as I have allowed it to effect my health and heart. Shame on me ... I should be a cold hearted, feeling deficient human being and move on like I just stepped over a dead tree limb. Sorry, that is NOT how I chose to live my life. I have allowed myself to be hurt again by someone I thought was capable of "getting it."

My health and longevity is ALL I WANT!!! I am not impressed by people with money, I know several in many "categories" of lifestyle, I get along with them all. The all mighty buck, does not buy you a guaranteed happiness ... and neither does a bottle!! That statement can apply to several people I have encountered in my life, and a few family members as well.

As far as pain, physical and emotional, it all effects my blood sugars, my overall well being. I am a firm believer that until one deals with the pain of such, faces it, owns it and then lets it go, a relationship of any level is often times not going to survive .... those that do ... are deeper, stronger, and more resilient than any other in one's life. That is my story .... and I AM sticking to it.

To some, this entry may be very off the wall, (I too, feel a sense of rambling) but there is a story here, not being able to use names, or places of employment, God forbid I get accused of slander ... LMAO ..... I look in the mirror often .... and it isn't to see if my lipstick needs freshening .... as I don't wear it!!! I have earned my laugh lines, each and every one of them ... pretty ... well, not always, but a piece of my character and how I got to the person I am today ... someone who I can honestly say not too many could wear my shoes for any length of time without feeling the pressures of the juggling involved for me to live why new follower, Linda, stated in last post comment. To live a full life...... to Linda ~ Welcome!! It is nice to have a townie follower on board, and to everyone else ... be true to your feelings, your heart, your ethics of life, and that commandment of "Treat those as you would want to be treated" .... hmmmmm, should I become that person who stomped all over me because I stated something out of concern and feelings got hurt?? I don't think so, that is not my style, and .... it is so not very becoming ... unless you are of the brat syndrome mentality .... LOL ....

With all that rambling. .... I am THANKFUL for friends and family who truly know me and where I come from, what I stand for, what I deal with on a daily basis, usually with a laugh and/or smile, and what irritates me most is one's ignorance to want to learn something new with an open mind. Skepticism is welcome, but leave the window open to allow for expansion ..... Thank you !!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
Peace and Light
et

Benefit Update

Greetings and an upcoming Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!!

Last Saturday was the Fish Fry benefit. We had a pretty good one night event, in spite of the fact I had never done anything on this level before. I can't thank ALL the people that came, donated, worked so hard to pull this event together. Not as many people showed up as bought tickets, but it was a totally emotional, amusing, and very educational evening for everyone with much positive feedback. Hopefully, the newspapers will do a follow up in this coming weeks edition.

Overall, we made a deposit of 1595.oo with a check being presented to myself from the Eagles for profits from the dinner and some of the raffles they had going. The quilt brought in close to $750. total including what was sold prior to the San Francisco trip.

There was a call from a local doctor that made inquiry into where, when, etc and said that he could not make the benefit, but would like to send a check. Haven't heard any more about that yet, but I have definitely peaked an interest in the medical community. Except my eye doctor today ... I think he really needs to expand his mind a little and learn what is out there. Might be time to shop for a new ophthalmologist. In spite of my opinion to closed minds, my eyes were and remained stable as of today. They sure do feel old and worn out these days.

The winner of the quilt was Aggie Doyle of MA, my home stomping grounds. CONGRATS!! I hope you enjoy it as it is beautiful and I appreciate your offer to "re-raffle", but I wouldn't feel right about doing that. Perhaps another might come along just as beautiful and we can do it again. Each one is a work of art and no two alike.

There are a couple of pics I will attach here, it was a great evening.

On a slightly negative note: The ISCI has gone up on the cost of the treatment from $10K to $11,5K .... so I am still sitting at ground zero in reality. On an even better note, the ISCI is in process of working with a major US University to follow patients that undergo the adult stem cell treatment (adipose). This is one area I would love to be a part of. I have sparked an interest in the local medical community, and was told I "know your stuff." That is such a good feeling knowing that what I am putting forth is research and movement on the cutting edge. I can and plan on, playing a small role in bringing this sort of advancement in treatment to many.

I will try and make a more in depth update over the weekend.

Again, Thanks to ALL who continue to keep me in their prayers and for the support. I can not thank you enough, and at many times, Thank you just doesn't seem like it is enough.

Peace and Light
et

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

for those that actually get into the whole thing.....lol .... not me so much.
Hilly went over to help my dad disperse the cavity eating treats and so that he doesn't have to try and get up and down repeatedly for he is not doing that well, yet INSISTS on the handing out of candy for the kids. For me, it works well because where I live, although a neighborhood, most of the town kids go to this big tailgating bash from 6-9 and they actually try and curb the older kids from going out. Not like it use to be .... but then again, what is??

Well ... time is flying by and I have no idea what to think about the upcoming benefit dinner other then .... certain people have taken my cause and run with it, and to me that is extremely overwhelming. At times, it is like I stop breathing the feelings are so overwhelming. I know ... this is really not the direction I should be thinking in. It is just an indescribable overwhelming feeling for a girl who for the most part, has not been a big fan of asking for help when needed but to plow through the issue at hand and move on. It would appear, that this issue, will not go away on my own wishful thinking. I need the help of those around me.

On Friday, I ventured to Phoenix for my usual 3 month check in with my endocrinologist. I knew things weren't looking good. I have the software from my pump to prove it and I, of course have her look at the print outs. Her office also downloads the info from my pump on appointment day so that too, gets the overall big picture. She was concerned to say the least. Told me we needed to "kick the dog up a notch," as Maggie isn't notifying me as to lows until I show signs, which often times is ALWAYS under 40. She reviews the logs .... 26, 32, 36, 34 28, and 36 were the half-dozen lows I have had in the past 3 weeks alone. Mind you ... these numbers on the norm would constitute emergency intervention. She told me, (like I was not already aware of this fact) that these are extremely dangerous lows and that the dog needed to be kicked up a notch in her newly acquired detection skills. Well ... I can't expect the dog to do something from nothing ... there are NO SIGNS until I get this low ... I am fine and then BOOM!!! Maggie has however woken me on a couple of these occasions that I can recall and what I find odd is that she follows/guides me to the kitchen and then sits and watches me as if she knows that the juice is next, lets get on it!! On the other end of the log was 589, 562, 549 and a few 400s after pushing my system with a steroid shot on a Thursday, a flu shot on Monday and then having a tissue issue with my pump site which was sending me into "nuts" mode as I was incredibly frustrated in my inability to get it back down into normal range until I changed out my pump site .... again. That can run into some money ... which I am low on as far as my living expense go. Fund money ... if FUND money and that is it!!! and we are not even remotely close at hitting my goal yet.

In any event, we reviewed my lab work.... all looked good for the most part and we both know how I got the A1c reading we did and it was the lows ... which is no way, in my opinion to achieve that reading. My kidneys function at a "remarkably normal level" which is a good thing given I just had my 38 year anniversary of living with Type I in early October. The kidney function is an important factor at this time in my live for me and the whole denial of partaking in the trial was apparently meant to be, being told yet again that antirejection drugs will kill off kidney function in a relatively short amount of time. In come the Stemmies .... we discussed the procedure, which Dr. C. P. is totally behind me on. Apparently, the fact that the treatment is not available here in the US and that she belongs to a large group of doctors, she asked me not to "advertise" her support publicly. She did, however, tell me that she expects approximately 2 weeks before we see any sort of changes, I bet a week. I then reminded her that even she has stated, "you never seem to do anyting text book." For many of the providers I have encountered over the years, a good percentage of them are amazed I still have some area of my body that appear to respond well to treatments, like my bones, and that I continue to prove science wrong in my understanding of my body, my disease. We also put a plan in place for when the treatment gets scheduled, and when I return to the states I am to meet with her in Phoenix prior to my return up the mountain to Prescott. Monitoring will become even more intense for a while and I may actually have to put a schedule of sorts into play. Something I don't really do other than wake up time, and bed time currently. Work will have to be a scheduled operation with no more letting lunches slide until a project is done, but when it is actually called for. It all sounded good .... but I still feel like crap. I am tired from the fairly constant up and downs with no real reason most times.

I am going to make a difference ..... and when it works for me, in spite of having ot perhaps undergo the treatment again, I am a firm believer that this is the closest we have currently and our best prospect to cure!!!! I have people watching me, waiting to see results, and if I show results, they are on board to have the treatment done as well. The questionable part currently for my doctor is the length of time I have had Type I.... but she too, believes it shows great promise and with better results thus far than treatments being offered here in the states.

Holding on to my faith, knowledge and continued prayers of those who are involved and "want" me around ..... I can't disappoint, I must give it my all and all fight.

Be well everyone as the holiday season comes upon us .... Thankful is something I truly am!!!

Peace and Light
et

Hello Folks

It's October .... Dad turned 80 on the 5th. It will be two years since I lost my mom two years ago on the 27th. I can't believe it has been two years, and not a day goes by I don't miss her humor, intelligence, and good spirit. Not to mention, I think she would be so proud of what I am trying to accomplish in education, and the whole stem cell procedure. I just know she is with me in some form as I make this journey forward.

I flew to Cleveland in September for a whirlwind 3 day trip to attend my cousin's funeral service. The trip was a lot for my body to do in the short time span. I was totally exhausted for the following week. the visit, in spite of the circumstances was a rewarding experience.

Then I was back at the orthopedist two weeks ago. I think I am the only person I know who dates their orthopedist for over a year. My fracture continues to heal with good bone growth, but still swells at the end of the day, or being on it for any length of time can cause pain. Plug on .... then he injected my wrist again..... which involves the steroid factor. We all know that steroids blow blood sugar control out the window, which in turn causes the physical stress. On top of the steroid stress, 3 days later I got my flu shot. Didn't take but a couple of hours before I started with the stiff neck, achy body, etc. Then ... for the next 3 days it was up and down like a flippin' yo-yo. I was up one night with a 26 blood sugar, much thanks to Ms. Maggie. She is amazing in this respect, gets better with every occurrence, which I would really like to be relieved from. (If I was a dog, I too, would want a break). She is a wonderful animal. She is with me every moment I am with her. She seems to be catching on to the fact that Momma needs her help, and we can play too.

It has been a not so great week.... at least I think it's been a week, maybe two. There was the 26 low, with rebound that wipes me out before I even get up to get ready for work. Then after the flu shot, I was up in the 500s for a day and a half. In part, I believe, to the combination of the 2 shots, and a tissue issue with my pump. It took it's toll with me coming home from work yesterday after putting in 2 hours. Work has been stressful for me, I am overwhelmed in the work that needs to be done and no one helping me get it done for several months now since the firing of the other coder. I find it very difficult to get much else done. I am so exhausted physically that my mind shuts off at 5-o'clock. I can't possibly focus on continuing my education at the moment with everything that is going on. My house is in dire need of overhaul, yard to be cleaned up, windows to be winterized. It is overwhelming at best. Then there is the upcoming fundraising dinner which has me feeling an uncertain amount of anxiety. I know I can do this intelligently and with a sort of humor, I seem to be pretty good in that department. I am a little disappointed that with all the interest that has been peaked, not more donations are coming in. I am hoping that the exposure from the dinner will help in that department. I had a dream last weekend, more like a nightmare, really got me to thinking. After a google search of the nasty topic, it was stated that dreams of this nature usually reflect an internal anxiety, a sense of self-esteem that needs to be addressed (this is where I hear my mom helping me cope and get through a difficult situation), and then that in some cultures in represents a financial increase...... thus, my dad purchased tonight's Powerball tickets and gave them to me. Not sure I will hold my breath, but the thought was there.

Well, fall is upon us here in Arizona. It is pretty chilly here this evening. The days start out cold, warm up a little bit, and end dark and cold again. I took some time off the week of the dinner. The 11th is Veteran's Day, so I'm off, I then am taking that Friday and the following Monday. I really need some time, a couple of weeks would be nicer, but I will do my very best to focus and get some things done that need my attention. I will have a couple of days to recoup from the dinner excitement. I am going to try and have someone, other than the hopeful news coverage video tape the speeches. I really do hope to promote the science. I think being an election time, that leads me to believe that people are keeping the focus on that legalization of marijuana for medical reasons, and there is no room for stem cell talk. I could be wrong, but I am going to make it known that this is where the future is and if the US wants to regain the status of health care status, the better get their shit together. Sorry, I get so pumped up on this subject, not just for diabetics, but for anyone suffering from debilitating disease.

I was saddened to hear that KW, the woman I met here that underwent the islet cell transplant is back on insulin. I can only imagine the devastating disappointment that must have brought to her. It sort of put into perspective my feelings on my rejection from the islet trial, and the saying that all things happen for a reason. Still, I am saddened for her and the acceptance of such news and the spirit to continue on with a new goal. I hope and pray that she continues in her research and knows that she made huge strides in the future of the type one community. The knowledge that people who have undergone the islet cell transplant are heroes in my eyes!!! I hope to prove that the stem cell treatment is worthy of being done here in the US and without all the embryonic BS that politics is shooting at the people in what I feel is a propaganda campaign. Why not??? The pharmaceuticals have so much more to gain, and what better way to thin out the population than by denying treatment that works for pharmaceuticals that people on fixed incomes can't afford to start with, never mind on a monthly basis. Medication ...... food and shelter????

How would you play out a hand like that???
Something to think about.

Maggie and I are off to bed.
Sleep well my loyal supporters.

Peace and Light
et

Help me, pave the way to help others!!!

Stuggling to keep my composure

How totally overwhelming are the feelings I am faced with. I can't begin to express my feelings for the overwhelming joy I have for those that have stepped up on my behalf. People I have yet to meet face-to-face, but am overwhelmed with so many feelings and hope to keep my composure in expressing my joy and continued hope for the future. My continued hope that I can pave the way for future hope in the treatment of so many people looking to me for hope. Please stay tuned for some positive outcomes for so many.

With love, gratitude and continued prayers!!
et

Mark your calenders !!!

Hello to everyone!!

I would like to share with everyone the latest activity.

On Saturday night, November 13,2010 there will be a "New England Fish Fry" to be held for my benefit in obtaining funds for my stem cell treatment. A friend, co-worker, and local member of the Eagles here in Prescott has taken my cause to heart and pulled in all his connections to help pull this evening off. I don't know how to thank all these people for their giving generousity on my behalf. Dinner will be from 4-9 with wine tasting from 4-5, dinner to begin at 6. We will have a key note speaker, a doctor recently relocated to the Prescott area who has stem cell knowledge and the potential for such a science. I also will be speaking, not at all nervous about this little chat, but ... have a few weeks to work on my speech. Hillary will be appearing with me, if for nothing more than to hold me up while I try to tell my story in a short, nonboring manner. I have so many people, strangers for the most part, have come to the front in support of my mission, and seem to be very touched, and genuine in thier interest and promotion of my cause. I just know that deep down, this is going to be a fabulous event!!! For not only my quest, but for those who will be following and see (hopefully praying) the results of such a treatment.

Tickets are being printed up by the Eagles, they will be available at various locations, at the Eagles, hopefully through people at the clinic, at YRMC, through the news paper, which will be contacted again this week to get this off and running, as well as talk of radio promo. If we can get a TV crew up here, a couple of people are trying to secure this as well. I am finding this all so very overwhelming, so humbling, it is an experience I have never felt before, may never feel again, and really do want to see people helped by what I am trying to promote. So many factors coming into play that it is often time very emotional for me these days.

Tickets are $25/person to include: Lobster bisque; New England Clam "Chowda", specially battered cod; slaw; wine, dessert and a baked goods table, as well as the quilt raffle which will most likely go that night. There will be a bar available, and some accoustic music too! It is pulling together to be a wonderful event with so much being donated by various local restaurants, winery, and man-power. I don't know how I can ever thank all these people for the generousity for a person they have never met and are going strictly on the words of my friend and fellow clinic employee Jon C. This man has been so very generous and yet, doen't feel like any sort of hero, he "just want to help." Again, God is very good to me in so many ways.

So Please, spread the word, plan to attend if you can. Come share in my journey, my emotions, and my hope!!!

Thank you all for your continued support. I will post more info and graphics as they become available.

Peace and Light
et

Weird dreams

Good evening everyone!!

I hope this little note finds everyone well and into the fall weather, even if it might be a little damp in some areas.

In spite of some very weird dreams I have had recently, the fundraising isn't quite kicking off as I had hoped. Although I know that I am touching people and opening minds in the aspect of the science, and what it can do not just for me, but many others. I political strong hold that is being held on doctors who are and have the potential to go so far but can't due to that tight rope around their necks. I am beginning to feel like I live in a communist country. I know this is not only my outlook recently having spoken with many strangers about what they are dealing with. As I sit her with my blood sugar hopefully on the rise from 42, bottomed out from 195 less than an hour ago .... ?? This is getting so old I can't begin to describe it, other than I can't focus, am totally exhausted at this moment, and still have a tape to complete for my home doctor (home job with side work) that is due by morning. I am thinking I am going to lay down for a few hours and then just get up, do it, and maybe go back to bed. Which of course, has already messed up my Saturday with so much yard work and interior work I want done, with little to no help from my so-called co-owner, housemate, whatever, child of mine.

OK ... I will tell you about the dreams later. I need to go lay down. Sorry ....

Be well everyone!!!
Peace and Light
et

News Release

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/international-stem-cell-institute-launches-major-adipose-adult-stem-cell-therapy-program-the-new-frontier-of-medicine-is-your-fat-2010-08-26

(Not sure what I don't do here, but cut and paste the above article in your web browser)

Fundraising is not going as I had hoped. I really can't do this on my own due to my lack of physical energy but with work, home, dad .... sounds like I'm whining doesn't it?

My plan this week is to get a couple of more donation containers out there. I am in process of drafting a letter to the JDRF to see if there is anyway that there may be some sort of grant available? Why ... I ask this question repeatedly with no real answer other than the almight buck .... I find it frustrating and down right discusting given our self-proclaimed "best healthcare in the world" mantra. As I have lived with this my entire life (all of the life I can recall) I will attest that I believe that we are holding back on the people of America.

This treatment will cost $10K currently, with perhaps another treatment needed in 6-12 months .... now ... given that in a years time, lets take last year for instance, I paid out 14K and some change on my medical appointments, supplies, medications, and needed additives such as batteries and tape. Come on people .... it isn't rocket science. Any moron can do the math. I am not a high tech worker, I am not college educated to the point of degree, I work my ass off day in and day out ... for what? basically ... just to stay alive!!! Sort of gives me no real choice in my activities of lesiure does it? Good thing I learned at a very early age, that being rich does not always involve money ... but in times like this, or in hindsight, to help my mother raise us 6 kids when 2 of us in the household suffered from a chronic disease. Yes, my father hasn't worked in almost 46/47 years. I can tell you, his attitude made me want to be VERY different. I could sit back, do pretty much nothing, allow the government to fund me, and just sit back and wait, wait to cost the American people a shitload of $$. I don't like that attitude and never have. I try and have tried, very hard in my life to keep my disease almost secret. The less people who knew, the less I had to explain, the more chance I had of being treated like others. As a kid, nothing pissed me off more than to have someone make a nasty toned comment when I was spotted taking a cookie, or having ice cream, etc. BITE ME ... most not having a clue what I dealt with or how the whole diet swap worked, etc. Yet .... "she shouldn't be eating that", "she can't have any sugar" .... oh my god ... look at any ingrediant lable folks, do you have any idea how many forms of sugar there are? how they effect your body or metabolism? Until you do, please don't lecture me on how to compensate to keep my weight stable, my blood sugars in a safe level, or how to get them back up in a fast manner. I know, and yet, even I when faced with these situations, can draw a complete blank these days. Does anyone have any idea how scarey that can be?? Especially when one is alone, and trying to comprehend the situation at hand.

This adipose treatment has the potential to help me in the way that my drastic blood sugar drops will be diminished or stopped on top of other benefits to my body, such as perhaps easing my gastrointestinal paralysis which poses more problem than anyone who hasn't lived with it could ever imagine. It makes insulin to carb ratio a near impossible juggling act. The longer my condition continues in the manner it has, the more prominent the neuropathy I have in my feet will make those "big shoes" I sometime wear a distant thing of the past. Neuropathic pain is some of the most painful, mind blowing (in more than one aspect) form of pain a person can cope with.

Please read with an open mind. I need this sort of help. I beleive deeply that this is where our future lies, not just for diabetics, but for so many diseases. We NEED this sort of medicine in the US. STOP sending us to other countries to get what should rightfully belong right here, right now!!! The research continues, it is not new, only the benefits of such are being brought to the forefront.

Please help me with continued support and spreading the word. Let me prove that this treatment can work for type I's such as myself. I am willing to be that animal, if it should prove wrong ... well shame on me..... but.... I have deep faith in this science and the potential to make life better for so many. Help me to prove this in a timely manner.

I really don't know what else to say.....??

Thank you for your continued love and support!!
Peace and Light
et

Just touching base ...

It has been a couple of weeks, a lot has happened, days have blended together.

On September 12th a cousin on my mom's side passed away rather suddenly after being diagnosed with a form of leukemia, caught pneumonia and passed in a Boston hospital. He was from the Cleveland area of Ohio. I decided that in my mom's memory, I would attend to represent my side of the family. It was a very nice service, I was able to meet all of his children, now adults and with lives of their own. All very nice kids and truly enjoyed the opportunity to see them and get to know them. I also got to see his brothers, one of which I have not seen since I was maybe 12 years old!!! Needless to say, he stated I hadn't changed a bit ..... hahahahahahha ... I don't know any 12 year-olds with wrinkles .... do you?? It was a wonderful visit in spite of the shitty circumstances.

On this whirlwind trip, I discovered that traveling through time zones is not what it use to be even with my pump. I was only gone 3 days and didn't have time to adjust to the time changes and returned to work the very next day after returning on Sunday. My body was and remains to reap havoc! On my last night in Cleveland, my two cousins took me to dinner. Upon our return to the area near my hotel we stopped at a local Friendly's to do coffee and ice cream. Needless to say, I think I lost that hour somewhere and no one knew what the hell my dazed and confused look was all about. Something I am going to have to explain in my cards out this week. I vaguely remember hugging them both at the entrance to my hotel only to get to my room and discover that my BS had dropped to 42. Not a whole lot of recollection from there other than roaming around, no doubt stuffing my face with whatever I had kicking around the hotel room. YES, I did pack emergency glucose remedies, but was so out of it, that I couldn't function beyond stuffing my face and waiting. I know I roamed around for some time stuffing my duffle bag with my dirty clothes, bagging up my shoes, etc. as I had to leave the hotel by no later than 5:30 the next morning .... I know it was after 10 sometime, but as stated earlier, no clue as to when it started to fall apart. Considering how many times I got totally lost in this 3 day span, I am glad that it didn't occur until my final night, and someone else was driving. Just sort of became a reality check that maybe my traveling anywhere alone should be re-thought, unless of course you can spot my deer in the headlight look for what it is and not a form of stupidity in the true sense of the word.

Anyway .... I have been trying to regain my quality, or at least what I had prior this week and it isn't working out so well for me. Been running high and low off and on all week, being back at work, which is really beginning to take a toll on me with all the BS going on, and lack of direction on the upper tier to delegate in a lack of BS manner. Makes one leery if you know what I mean.

FACT: I am never going to truly be a healthy individual; I have no desire to climb any corporate ladder, never have; don't give a rat's ass about titles, yours, mine or anyone Else's; I will never be rich to the point of contentment; and I most likely will never win the powerball!!! I do, however, hold on to such dreams and desires of keeping a decent job, as I do enjoy the challenge of the laws and regulations involved, I do not want title. We all remain the same people, docs put their pants on one leg at a time just like me. I have the same fears and wishes many others have, although somewhat more realistic perhaps. I wish .... for a reprieve in my up and down status, a calm, a sense of tranquility, for just a time, to enjoy my home, my family, etc. I fear, that my health will become unmanageable, that I will somehow burden my daughter with things she should not have to deal with, with me wanting her to spread her wings, enjoy her career, live life to the absolute fullest and remember me for what I did, and the fun we had making the best of many, many bad situations over the years. For that, to me, is what I have given her .... the strength to overcome in the face of adversity!!! Rock on little girl for you will be the best nurse/NP to hit the continental United States in a long time. Take it as far as you want to go .... and remember that I will always remain with you, if only in spirit.

Attached is this weeks latest update in the local paper. Picture is absolutely horrible, was wicked windy and I of course, look like a direct descendant of "Kramer." LOL ..... but ... PLEASE ... help me reach my goal of extending my life span to a healthy length. Share this article with any one who may know me, know of my fight, know of the struggles that continue to bog me down in my fight to live life as a contributing person in society, or anyone interested in the science of stem cell therapy and what it can do for so many people in this country that suffer from a debilitating disease ..... PLEASE!!! Your thoughts and support mean the world to me. I am open to discuss anything on the topic to the best of knowledge, just contact me.

http://www.chinovalleyreview.com/main.asp?SectionID=74&SubSectionID=114&ArticleID=52585

(if this address doesn't come through here as a link (looks questionable) just cut and paste it into your browser)

In the meantime; peace and light to all!!!!

et

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. ~Erich Fromm


Happy Saturday !!!

I slept until 9:00 AM this morning!! I can't remember the last time I slept past 6, and that is sleeping in. I was awake early, as usual, Hillary went off to work, I vaguely remember her coming in to kiss me good bye. We wished each other a good day, and night, as I will be out helping with an event for the clinic this evening.... and I drifted back off to a hard sleep with my Maggie at my feet. Now I am having a hard time getting "it" motivated to move. As usual, I have a ton to do, and it never truely seems to get accomplished.

I thought I would just drop a quick note in here today. This weeks article in the Chino Valley Review seems to be a hit. As of last night, it was one of the top 5 news articles to be "hit" in the online version. I got an email forwarded to me from a gentleman, apparently from somewhere out of town, very interested in stem cell treatment, and wanting to know where out-of-towners could mail donations. How wonderful is that?!? I am totally amazed that I have been able to touch people I don't know in ways I could have never imagined to new knowledge, advancements, and the life of a diabetic and what is involved over and above the reality of life for those that have no health issues. It is an awesome feeling .... and overwhelming too!!

For those who may want to donate, or those who know of someone else donations can be made to: Arizona State Credit Union #45013118 @ 1335 Gail Gardner Way, Prescott AZ 86305

I spose I should get moving here ... thinking (physically feeling) that my commitments today are going to be tough to get through. I don't like to back out, knowing that on occasion it is required, but for the most part, I do what I say I will do.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!!
Continued thanks for the love and support!!
Peace and Light
et

Latest status update

Hello My Loyal Followers !!!

Life continues to be chaotic, work is ... well.... ultimate chaos, but I continue to get there day in and day out regardless. My lows continue, only 2 so far this week, 38 and 42. Attached is the link to the article that appears in today's Chino Valley AZ newspaper. It is the most positive thing I have to report thus far. I am sort of hitting road blocks with the fundraisers I had hoped to use. Like the Yankee Candle Co. I got an email yesterday stating that due to the fact I am an "Individual" that they would be unable to assist in my fundraising drive. They only help nonprofit groups with a tax id number for exempt purposes. I was told by my tax accountant that all donations are just that, donations, and therefore considered gifts and need not be claimed as income due to the fact they are going for medical treatment. (I made sure I checked on this as I am in no position to be paying Uncle Sam twice).

Just a quick $$ over view of what I dish out in a year alone. Last year, I paid out $13.5K just to stay in my pump supplies and medications. That doesn't leave a lot leftover when one only makes $16/hour. I have all the expenses others have, mortgage/rent, utilities, food, gas, insurance, etc. There is no "fun money" as my tax woman asked. "What do you do for fun?" Lucky for me I have always been pretty cheaply amused!!! LOL ...... I find joy in simple things, love to people watch, converse in intelligent manner, laugh .... laugh hard, and love to the fullest of my ability. I guess you could say I have a sort of dark side as well. If you don't like me, stay away from me..... that seems pretty simple. I am not out to hurt anyone, am pretty easy going and I love to laugh ... and good thing for me, it is usually at myself.

http://www.chinovalleyreview.com/main.asp?SectionID=74&SubSectionID=114&ArticleID=52528&TM=82931.41

(Cut and paste the above link into your web browser)

Anyway .... enjoy the read .... and please help me to continue to educate and spread the word. My being a "vessel" for the future could prove to be wondrous for so many people!!!

Peace and Light
et