It has been a couple of weeks, a lot has happened, days have blended together.
On September 12th a cousin on my mom's side passed away rather suddenly after being diagnosed with a form of leukemia, caught pneumonia and passed in a Boston hospital. He was from the Cleveland area of Ohio. I decided that in my mom's memory, I would attend to represent my side of the family. It was a very nice service, I was able to meet all of his children, now adults and with lives of their own. All very nice kids and truly enjoyed the opportunity to see them and get to know them. I also got to see his brothers, one of which I have not seen since I was maybe 12 years old!!! Needless to say, he stated I hadn't changed a bit ..... hahahahahahha ... I don't know any 12 year-olds with wrinkles .... do you?? It was a wonderful visit in spite of the shitty circumstances.
On this whirlwind trip, I discovered that traveling through time zones is not what it use to be even with my pump. I was only gone 3 days and didn't have time to adjust to the time changes and returned to work the very next day after returning on Sunday. My body was and remains to reap havoc! On my last night in Cleveland, my two cousins took me to dinner. Upon our return to the area near my hotel we stopped at a local Friendly's to do coffee and ice cream. Needless to say, I think I lost that hour somewhere and no one knew what the hell my dazed and confused look was all about. Something I am going to have to explain in my cards out this week. I vaguely remember hugging them both at the entrance to my hotel only to get to my room and discover that my BS had dropped to 42. Not a whole lot of recollection from there other than roaming around, no doubt stuffing my face with whatever I had kicking around the hotel room. YES, I did pack emergency glucose remedies, but was so out of it, that I couldn't function beyond stuffing my face and waiting. I know I roamed around for some time stuffing my duffle bag with my dirty clothes, bagging up my shoes, etc. as I had to leave the hotel by no later than 5:30 the next morning .... I know it was after 10 sometime, but as stated earlier, no clue as to when it started to fall apart. Considering how many times I got totally lost in this 3 day span, I am glad that it didn't occur until my final night, and someone else was driving. Just sort of became a reality check that maybe my traveling anywhere alone should be re-thought, unless of course you can spot my deer in the headlight look for what it is and not a form of stupidity in the true sense of the word.
Anyway .... I have been trying to regain my quality, or at least what I had prior this week and it isn't working out so well for me. Been running high and low off and on all week, being back at work, which is really beginning to take a toll on me with all the BS going on, and lack of direction on the upper tier to delegate in a lack of BS manner. Makes one leery if you know what I mean.
FACT: I am never going to truly be a healthy individual; I have no desire to climb any corporate ladder, never have; don't give a rat's ass about titles, yours, mine or anyone Else's; I will never be rich to the point of contentment; and I most likely will never win the powerball!!! I do, however, hold on to such dreams and desires of keeping a decent job, as I do enjoy the challenge of the laws and regulations involved, I do not want title. We all remain the same people, docs put their pants on one leg at a time just like me. I have the same fears and wishes many others have, although somewhat more realistic perhaps. I wish .... for a reprieve in my up and down status, a calm, a sense of tranquility, for just a time, to enjoy my home, my family, etc. I fear, that my health will become unmanageable, that I will somehow burden my daughter with things she should not have to deal with, with me wanting her to spread her wings, enjoy her career, live life to the absolute fullest and remember me for what I did, and the fun we had making the best of many, many bad situations over the years. For that, to me, is what I have given her .... the strength to overcome in the face of adversity!!! Rock on little girl for you will be the best nurse/NP to hit the continental United States in a long time. Take it as far as you want to go .... and remember that I will always remain with you, if only in spirit.
Attached is this weeks latest update in the local paper. Picture is absolutely horrible, was wicked windy and I of course, look like a direct descendant of "Kramer." LOL ..... but ... PLEASE ... help me reach my goal of extending my life span to a healthy length. Share this article with any one who may know me, know of my fight, know of the struggles that continue to bog me down in my fight to live life as a contributing person in society, or anyone interested in the science of stem cell therapy and what it can do for so many people in this country that suffer from a debilitating disease ..... PLEASE!!! Your thoughts and support mean the world to me. I am open to discuss anything on the topic to the best of knowledge, just contact me.
http://www.chinovalleyreview.com/main.asp?SectionID=74&SubSectionID=114&ArticleID=52585
(if this address doesn't come through here as a link (looks questionable) just cut and paste it into your browser)
In the meantime; peace and light to all!!!!
et
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