Dysfunction update ...

NEWS FLASH!!! ... I am an only child ... It would appear all those stories they do on siblings / families falling apart after the death of the more prominent parent is so totally true. That when someone important dies, the idiot mentality kicks in. However, I think the idiot, emotionally retarded mentality has been in play all along.

Well ... it just hit the fan!!! and yes, I responded from the hip, and the heart, enough. Not one of my 5 siblings, only 3 or 4 of them capable to do anything, but ALL could have done something .... I don't need this sort of negativity in my life, which was one of the main reasons Hillary and I moved out of the house we had originally bought here in AZ. My father's negativity toward EVERYTHING life has to offer, and his constant whining, oh I got this, and I got that, always has it worse then you, or anyone else for that matter. NOT ONE, from my father, down to all of my brothers in the past 2 years, has made any sort of monetary contribution to me getting treatment and saving my life, which is fine, lots of people couldn't do monetary contributions, HOWEVER, NOT ONE of my own siblings ever even made or voiced a "sentiment" which would have meant the world.

So from this point forward, and oh, this too, will make a great chapter in the book, it is pretty clear where I stand, and I can and will honestly say, that there is not one of my brothers that knows who I am, where I came from, what drives me, and what I DID learn from the mother who thought she had done better, with little to no help from the man that was suppose to be her husband, turned out to be just as big a baby as her children.

OH MY GOD .... my head feels like it is going to explode ... but at least I can say that I have been preparing for this sort of explosion, and its outcome, and I am so much more than ready to move on with my own, serene existence without any siblings as I have the love, respect, and emotional outlet of friends, and distant family who are not afraid to show their emotions and speak openly and honestly.

To those who fall into that category, THANKS are not enough ... you have no idea how much I appreciate people who can talk, discuss, disagree, and still love each other on the other side. It isn't always about who is right, and who is wrong....

another one of those flipping situations in the universe that just doesn't explain it openly and clearly for those who can't see past their own nose .... LOL ...

Am off to try and de-stress ..... I know ... banging my head on the wall is not advised. :D

Peace ... and more important ... LOVE to all!!
et