tick-tock ....

G'evening ....

Most are no doubt preoccupied with the Super Bowl .... I am not a real big football fan, I prefer a good hockey, basketball, or baseball game. Anyway ... while I am sitting her brain dead ....

I spent 3 hours messing around looking for one bag, which turns out, I no longer own .... I know my mother had one, so I called my father and had him pull hers out, I will pick it up on my way out of town tomorrow.

Everyone keeps telling me how excited they are for me, how excited I should be ... I think I am shell-shocked .... I am excited, this is big stuff, cutting edge science, and I am playing a part..... but .... now that it is on my doorstep, I am so unsure of what to expect...??? I know not how to live my life without all the juggling. I know that monitoring will be crucial now, more so than ever before as we hope the rate will drop, and I am frightened as to how fast I could bottom out, will I get those warning signs back, how long will it take, etc .... there are a million scenarios running through my head lately. For the past week and a half, I have not only been fighting this upper respiratory infection, but my gut has been on a total rampage, nerves .... and I have been trying to pump my system with those things that help my immune system, which I swear gets worse every year. It seems to take ma longer and longer to get over something when I use to heal so well, and bounce right back ... LOL ... ya, ya, I know, I am not as young as I use to be, and I have never been the healthiest of people. Even now, I go to a new doctor, like this new PCP, and he looks at my records, then he looks at me ans spews ... "WOW ... You are like a miricle!!!" .... What the hell is that suppose to invoke??? (Hillary tells me it is because most of the diabetic patients they see at the hospital are in with missing limbs, renal failure, just rotting out .... not in good shape, and very visable .... so.... I guess that means I don't look as bad as I feel.... LMAO .....

I am nervous, but not about the travel, or the procedure, it is all about the "what if" after ....what to expect?? Every person is different, and I can attest that I have rarely done or followed any text book these doctors are taught with. I have found that most doctors and medical staff I have worked with over the years, with very few exceptions, have really gotten into the challenge, I try and make their jobs as easy as possible knowing that my body most likely isn't going to cooperate as they think it should ... LOL ... small vessels, odd responses, hard to put down, keep down, often hard to wake up .... one big challenge I am.

Anyway ... just wanted to let everyone know I am still plugging away trying to prep myself. I guess I really won't know any more until I get there. We will have an orientation on Tuesday evening with the doctor, patient advocate, etc, to review the process, what to expect, after care, and follow up ....

Please know that all of your excitement is wonderful to see ... but I am just not that bubbly yet ... I hope to be... I hope that a radiant glow, with less wrinkles, and better stamina, on top of the multiple benefits that are predicted .... I just know this can't be wrong, but, I also know that I will most likely require a second treatment .... there is a lot of work ahead of me .... sometime, it seems like an awful lot of fight to just stay above ground and no real time or energy to enjoy even the simple things in life. I have always been very independant, do it yourself kind of girl, these days, as I get older, I think I need an assistant ... and we all know how I hate to ask for help, so this person need be of the unconditional, openminded, type. ..... ok..... another story I guess ....

I have to go pull it together with the final details being completed tomorrow and my ride down to the Valley of the Sun. I fly out late Tuesday morning .... I will try and post after my staffing, if not, will try VERY hard to post after the treatment while laying quietly in my hotel room.

Thanks to all .... you love, support, guidance, words of encouragement are more than any one could ever ask for, and you have all given so freely for me ... I am deeply touched .... in hopes of fighting on long and hard for those others that can benefit..... Peace and Light ~ ET