I stumbled upon this article .....pretty amzing and this is a couple of years in past. The progress of this is moving forward. Enjoy ...
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/09/090908-liposuction-leftovers-fat-stem-cells.html
Peace and Light
et
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Opportunity
Here we go kids!!! What a great article .... the FDA needs to back off what is mine!!!
I am living proof that this science/medicine can and will make a difference, with NO side effects!!!
The attached link is to an awesome, ground breaking fight ... the article is a good read and I so admire this doctors passion and gusto to take on the FDA. We need more doctors like this and fewer who are only out to support and line their own pockets with the FDA and pharmaceuticals. Don't doctors today take the Hippocratic oath anymore??? Thou shall not bring harm ..... I have been so very blessed to have been placed in the path of many doctors/medical professionals who see the potential for this ... for the greater good of mankind.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/gerganakoleva/2012/02/10/stem-cells-and-the-lawsuit-that-may-shape-our-medical-future/
Enjoy the read, Enjoy the Day .... Let our voices be heard!!!
Peace and Light
et
I am living proof that this science/medicine can and will make a difference, with NO side effects!!!
The attached link is to an awesome, ground breaking fight ... the article is a good read and I so admire this doctors passion and gusto to take on the FDA. We need more doctors like this and fewer who are only out to support and line their own pockets with the FDA and pharmaceuticals. Don't doctors today take the Hippocratic oath anymore??? Thou shall not bring harm ..... I have been so very blessed to have been placed in the path of many doctors/medical professionals who see the potential for this ... for the greater good of mankind.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/gerganakoleva/2012/02/10/stem-cells-and-the-lawsuit-that-may-shape-our-medical-future/
Enjoy the read, Enjoy the Day .... Let our voices be heard!!!
Peace and Light
et
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
It's time ...
A great article on the adult stem cell treatment in which I will undergo again in just a month.
I am praying that this time around, my mouth holds up to support the mainstreaming of this medicine to the people who need it most. I will keep this short as it has been an incredibly stressful day in which I was sporting the sexy scent of the month .... Icy Hot!!! My head has felt like it is going to explode for most of the day, and I pulled my right shoulder out just getting dressed this morning ... needless to say ... I know my first treatment made a huge, unexpected difference in my bone and muscle pain so again, Praying for the start of a world-wide miracle. I believe in this, I believe that this has become my mission ..... and therefore, I will give of myself.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2012/2/prweb9213129.htm
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et
I am praying that this time around, my mouth holds up to support the mainstreaming of this medicine to the people who need it most. I will keep this short as it has been an incredibly stressful day in which I was sporting the sexy scent of the month .... Icy Hot!!! My head has felt like it is going to explode for most of the day, and I pulled my right shoulder out just getting dressed this morning ... needless to say ... I know my first treatment made a huge, unexpected difference in my bone and muscle pain so again, Praying for the start of a world-wide miracle. I believe in this, I believe that this has become my mission ..... and therefore, I will give of myself.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2012/2/prweb9213129.htm
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!
Peace and Light
et
This has to be a sign of improvement ...
g'evening wide world ....
I actually did this last night, for over an hour, and then POOF it was gone .... I found it this morning ..... Please God, let's make today a better day than the one before. I have just enough pain to keep me true. Enjoy the day, Amen.
someone is still reading this verbage I post .... does no one have an opinion, a comment, something that might peak a conversation, discussion, ... debate?? I'm just curious ... and being so empty upstairs these days, I thought I would just list a few comments, odd comments that I have managed to maintain in my head/memory/brain for rethinking later. I think .... and then in a nano-second it can be gone. I am beginning to feel like I have a permanent "deer in the headlight" look, or that look my mother use to laugh her ass off and say to me, "I can see you are thinking really hard on this one" as my mouth hung open in a vague trance. When I was biting on the end of my tongue she would say it was the "Dunnigan Deep Thought Look." (and as I gaze at that last sentence, I see that my grammar has fallen apart, or any resemblence of the English language for that matter. Again, I want to utter the words .... but even from deep within me currently, I know it isn't coming forth in the right, appropriate, confident .. ?? ... manner.
Ok ... the comments, then I have to go and practice some new breathing techniques ... something I thought I had mastered after all these years of breathing my way through situations in which I had an unknown knowledge of the plan/outcome. (wow, I feel like I am making sense, but the words .... ???)
"did you understand that?"
"relax, it was just ... " (this one has come multiple times in my jumpy responses to certain noises)
"breathe baby, I got it" (while being a passenger in another's vehicle)
"what do you mean you DIDN'T BRING ANY VALIUM!!!" (my daughter, driving my new ride home from Phoenix with me twitching, gasping and holding my breath) .....
Then there are those choice few ... much fewer than before, but they know who they are .... that find an opportunity to bust my chops in hopes I will get it. Yes, my ability to be sharp witted seems to be damgaged ... to the point I don't seem to pick up on the social cues, the tone of one's voice in which I could always know when to inflict my sarcasm ..... I feel like someone actually morphed me into Maxine!!! Things I think I am just "thinking" ... I apparently have been caught saying outloud ... the total lack of filter I think I mentioned. I know this ... yet I seem to have no control without MAJOR focus to remember and then it begins to hurt after a few hours.
I know, I know ... I try to calm myself with the breathing ... it was failing me, so I asked one of my PT therapist today what she could do ... I was actually lovin' laying with electrodes glued to my cervical area, up to the base of my skull, wrapped in heat, and being "zapped" for 20 minutes .... I can honestly say it was the first time I maintained an entirely shut down brain other than to breath and relax.... then the bell rang.
One comment that seems to be sitting from today is ... I could have laid on that thing hummin' along for a good hour or more .... ohhhhhh ..... what that heat. It was the first real easing of the tension and deep knots that have been residing in that entire area. HOPE .... that was what came to mind.
Ok ... well .... just a small window into my current world. Not my idea of fun ... but ... close the window if you can't handle it. And the last comment was a tidbit of fact that was mentioned to me today by the PT..." a good percentage of relationships fall apart after a head injury." ...... GREAT .... I can't help but think that is another strike that is going to keep me single for the remainder of time..... hahaha .....
Maggie is calling for my attention .... I think she is way more spoiled now as I have done a lot of snuggling with her lately, talking as if she could understand me .... she is just diggin' the overall body rub that I wish I was and/or could get ... and not have to dish out $100 bucks .... LOL.
Good Night to all .... be good to you!!
Peace and Light
et
I actually did this last night, for over an hour, and then POOF it was gone .... I found it this morning ..... Please God, let's make today a better day than the one before. I have just enough pain to keep me true. Enjoy the day, Amen.
someone is still reading this verbage I post .... does no one have an opinion, a comment, something that might peak a conversation, discussion, ... debate?? I'm just curious ... and being so empty upstairs these days, I thought I would just list a few comments, odd comments that I have managed to maintain in my head/memory/brain for rethinking later. I think .... and then in a nano-second it can be gone. I am beginning to feel like I have a permanent "deer in the headlight" look, or that look my mother use to laugh her ass off and say to me, "I can see you are thinking really hard on this one" as my mouth hung open in a vague trance. When I was biting on the end of my tongue she would say it was the "Dunnigan Deep Thought Look." (and as I gaze at that last sentence, I see that my grammar has fallen apart, or any resemblence of the English language for that matter. Again, I want to utter the words .... but even from deep within me currently, I know it isn't coming forth in the right, appropriate, confident .. ?? ... manner.
Ok ... the comments, then I have to go and practice some new breathing techniques ... something I thought I had mastered after all these years of breathing my way through situations in which I had an unknown knowledge of the plan/outcome. (wow, I feel like I am making sense, but the words .... ???)
"did you understand that?"
"relax, it was just ... " (this one has come multiple times in my jumpy responses to certain noises)
"breathe baby, I got it" (while being a passenger in another's vehicle)
"what do you mean you DIDN'T BRING ANY VALIUM!!!" (my daughter, driving my new ride home from Phoenix with me twitching, gasping and holding my breath) .....
Then there are those choice few ... much fewer than before, but they know who they are .... that find an opportunity to bust my chops in hopes I will get it. Yes, my ability to be sharp witted seems to be damgaged ... to the point I don't seem to pick up on the social cues, the tone of one's voice in which I could always know when to inflict my sarcasm ..... I feel like someone actually morphed me into Maxine!!! Things I think I am just "thinking" ... I apparently have been caught saying outloud ... the total lack of filter I think I mentioned. I know this ... yet I seem to have no control without MAJOR focus to remember and then it begins to hurt after a few hours.
I know, I know ... I try to calm myself with the breathing ... it was failing me, so I asked one of my PT therapist today what she could do ... I was actually lovin' laying with electrodes glued to my cervical area, up to the base of my skull, wrapped in heat, and being "zapped" for 20 minutes .... I can honestly say it was the first time I maintained an entirely shut down brain other than to breath and relax.... then the bell rang.
One comment that seems to be sitting from today is ... I could have laid on that thing hummin' along for a good hour or more .... ohhhhhh ..... what that heat. It was the first real easing of the tension and deep knots that have been residing in that entire area. HOPE .... that was what came to mind.
Ok ... well .... just a small window into my current world. Not my idea of fun ... but ... close the window if you can't handle it. And the last comment was a tidbit of fact that was mentioned to me today by the PT..." a good percentage of relationships fall apart after a head injury." ...... GREAT .... I can't help but think that is another strike that is going to keep me single for the remainder of time..... hahaha .....
Maggie is calling for my attention .... I think she is way more spoiled now as I have done a lot of snuggling with her lately, talking as if she could understand me .... she is just diggin' the overall body rub that I wish I was and/or could get ... and not have to dish out $100 bucks .... LOL.
Good Night to all .... be good to you!!
Peace and Light
et
Friday, February 17, 2012
Call it what you will
Hey WWW ... and those who check in to see what new chaos is happening.
I might as well ramble here, no one else listens to me and it has been primarily Maggie and I, for what seems like forever. Every time I come close to uttering the words "I think I am getting better" .... someone shoots me this odd look and cracks out "maybe a wee bit." WTF ..... seems to have become my mantra on a daily basis, for so many reasons. This post will pretty much give you an idea of how flighty I can be, and I just want you all to know, that this is so beyond frustrating for me, I can only imagine how I am irritating those who have to come in contact with me, with the exception of the staff at the physical therapy place. I can only put a name to, I am thinking only 2 staff members .... the 2 I deal with a majority of the time. However, every time I come through the door the place starts smiling and laughing. On Weds afternoon, HT came with me so we could review the MRIs with the "land therapist", who is also my main gal. Come to find out, I could be the mother to more than half the staff, yet ..... and this flipping makes me laugh ..... and laughing has been a rarity since the accident. ...... lots of dead air space that just hits .... in the middle of a decent thought. I feel very empty, the inside of my head scattered, scrambled, and often times pounding to the point of feeling like it has legs. The feeling of the "ice pick" holding my head on at the base of my skull is a constant ache, and as I become more focused (or attempting), the slightest thing, that never bothered me prior, distracts me, I have no filter ........ which could really go up someones .... knowing how blunt and straightforward I can be on a normal basis ... I am just overall frustrated. Not being able to work a full day, .... I can't begin to thank those that I don't know at work who have donated PTO so that I can get paid my full wages .... that can't go on forever. I feel like I have been tested and tested again, and yet ... still lost. I have to undergo an EMG .... I had one of these done years ago mid 90s ..... I am not looking forward to it on any level, including results. I am trying to arrange another stem cell treatment .... but am trying to let some natural healing take place .... not only that $$$$$$ is beyond tight. I am behind on most everything....... something my mom would say ... "Robbing Peter, to pay Paul." ..... I'm not feeling my usual charming self. I have been told that there are PTSD symptoms present .... NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!! .... along with trying to get over and cope with my new-found fears since the accident, has brought up some pretty vivid stuff from my past......... being older now ... I have, a small edge .... if I can just dig deep enough to remember where I placed it.
I was very prepared for change in 2012 ..... but this isn't quite what I had in mind..... and currently .... I should probably go to bed .... I can't determine what hurts more after my PT, which I showed up an hour late for, and then waited around town for 2 hours so I did some errands .... can't tell you what right now .... oh well .... now that you are all shaking your heads too, I am going to cover my aching ankle, knee, neck and lumbar spine with as much heat/ice as possible ... if nothing else, Maggie and I will no doubt breathe and sleep pretty clear tonight. To all you male readers ..... How sexy is that!!! ..... LOL ..... It's is about the only thing that HT and I have laughed about in recent weeks. This change from the accident on so many levels has put a real strain on our relationship ..... there are a LOT of raw emotions flowing and it is just another leg of my journey ... HOWEVER, ..... I do believe that this might be my last leg .... how many lives can one person have??? I have been told, I am a tough chick, have more lives than a cat, the shelf life of a Twinkie .... WTF does that mean???? My sharp humor took a hard hit, now I feel like I should dye my hair blonde and just go with it ..... I'm in here ... and I WANT OUT!!!! My brain was the only thing I felt I had left going for me, and I enjoyed and love using it .... clearly and focused .... not always adult, and with my humor ... everything about me is off and I am trying to stay positive, but the pain on so many levels is often hard to take ... I just want to sleep until my brain and my body feel rejuvenated, regenerated ... and that is where another stemmie treatment will come in some MASSIVE ......(sitting here with my mouth open)
I'm done ....
I hope that this rambling finds those who visit happy and healthy.
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!!!
Peace and Light
et
I might as well ramble here, no one else listens to me and it has been primarily Maggie and I, for what seems like forever. Every time I come close to uttering the words "I think I am getting better" .... someone shoots me this odd look and cracks out "maybe a wee bit." WTF ..... seems to have become my mantra on a daily basis, for so many reasons. This post will pretty much give you an idea of how flighty I can be, and I just want you all to know, that this is so beyond frustrating for me, I can only imagine how I am irritating those who have to come in contact with me, with the exception of the staff at the physical therapy place. I can only put a name to, I am thinking only 2 staff members .... the 2 I deal with a majority of the time. However, every time I come through the door the place starts smiling and laughing. On Weds afternoon, HT came with me so we could review the MRIs with the "land therapist", who is also my main gal. Come to find out, I could be the mother to more than half the staff, yet ..... and this flipping makes me laugh ..... and laughing has been a rarity since the accident. ...... lots of dead air space that just hits .... in the middle of a decent thought. I feel very empty, the inside of my head scattered, scrambled, and often times pounding to the point of feeling like it has legs. The feeling of the "ice pick" holding my head on at the base of my skull is a constant ache, and as I become more focused (or attempting), the slightest thing, that never bothered me prior, distracts me, I have no filter ........ which could really go up someones .... knowing how blunt and straightforward I can be on a normal basis ... I am just overall frustrated. Not being able to work a full day, .... I can't begin to thank those that I don't know at work who have donated PTO so that I can get paid my full wages .... that can't go on forever. I feel like I have been tested and tested again, and yet ... still lost. I have to undergo an EMG .... I had one of these done years ago mid 90s ..... I am not looking forward to it on any level, including results. I am trying to arrange another stem cell treatment .... but am trying to let some natural healing take place .... not only that $$$$$$ is beyond tight. I am behind on most everything....... something my mom would say ... "Robbing Peter, to pay Paul." ..... I'm not feeling my usual charming self. I have been told that there are PTSD symptoms present .... NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!! .... along with trying to get over and cope with my new-found fears since the accident, has brought up some pretty vivid stuff from my past......... being older now ... I have, a small edge .... if I can just dig deep enough to remember where I placed it.
I was very prepared for change in 2012 ..... but this isn't quite what I had in mind..... and currently .... I should probably go to bed .... I can't determine what hurts more after my PT, which I showed up an hour late for, and then waited around town for 2 hours so I did some errands .... can't tell you what right now .... oh well .... now that you are all shaking your heads too, I am going to cover my aching ankle, knee, neck and lumbar spine with as much heat/ice as possible ... if nothing else, Maggie and I will no doubt breathe and sleep pretty clear tonight. To all you male readers ..... How sexy is that!!! ..... LOL ..... It's is about the only thing that HT and I have laughed about in recent weeks. This change from the accident on so many levels has put a real strain on our relationship ..... there are a LOT of raw emotions flowing and it is just another leg of my journey ... HOWEVER, ..... I do believe that this might be my last leg .... how many lives can one person have??? I have been told, I am a tough chick, have more lives than a cat, the shelf life of a Twinkie .... WTF does that mean???? My sharp humor took a hard hit, now I feel like I should dye my hair blonde and just go with it ..... I'm in here ... and I WANT OUT!!!! My brain was the only thing I felt I had left going for me, and I enjoyed and love using it .... clearly and focused .... not always adult, and with my humor ... everything about me is off and I am trying to stay positive, but the pain on so many levels is often hard to take ... I just want to sleep until my brain and my body feel rejuvenated, regenerated ... and that is where another stemmie treatment will come in some MASSIVE ......(sitting here with my mouth open)
I'm done ....
I hope that this rambling finds those who visit happy and healthy.
Be good to yourselves, be good to each other!!!!
Peace and Light
et
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A good discussion topic for the US
http://www.sacbee.com/2012/02/12/4255184/these-cells-could-save-lives-but.html
I'm sure there are many other topics we could discuss as well this morning.
Have a good day, be good to yourself, be good to each other!!!
Peace and Light
et
I'm sure there are many other topics we could discuss as well this morning.
Have a good day, be good to yourself, be good to each other!!!
Peace and Light
et
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Generous Donation
Hi Everyone ....
Too much to say, not enough attention and/or drive to stay on track to get it out.
The following link is to an inspiring notation on a very generous donation. If I had access to large monetary availability I would do stuff like this. My wish is to one day start a foundation in which I could help bring stem cell treatments to those of us "common folk" who in deed keep this country going on so many levels. An amazing, self-less gesture to help the greater good of mankind.
I had another thought I wanted to share .... but after sitting here for five minutes trying to recall it I am at a loss, it left as fast as it came into sight. I MAJOR issue these days.
http://pacificpalisades.patch.com/articles/ucla-receives-1m-gift-for-stem-cell-symposium
I hope this posting finds everyone healthy, and still grounded to what is ultimately comforting for oneself.
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!
Peace, Light, and Serenity!!!
et
Too much to say, not enough attention and/or drive to stay on track to get it out.
The following link is to an inspiring notation on a very generous donation. If I had access to large monetary availability I would do stuff like this. My wish is to one day start a foundation in which I could help bring stem cell treatments to those of us "common folk" who in deed keep this country going on so many levels. An amazing, self-less gesture to help the greater good of mankind.
I had another thought I wanted to share .... but after sitting here for five minutes trying to recall it I am at a loss, it left as fast as it came into sight. I MAJOR issue these days.
http://pacificpalisades.patch.com/articles/ucla-receives-1m-gift-for-stem-cell-symposium
I hope this posting finds everyone healthy, and still grounded to what is ultimately comforting for oneself.
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!
Peace, Light, and Serenity!!!
et
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Type 1 Stem cell article
http://www.doctortipster.com/7239-type-1-diabetes-can-be-reversed-using-stem-cell-educator-therapy-according-to-new-study.html
Stemmies ..... Please ..... Please .....
Stemmies ..... Please ..... Please .....
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I'm sorry I have neglected you
Hey to All!!
I'm sorry for the lack of posting. My head/brain/memory, among many other areas, i.e., my knee, most of my right side, and my lack of balance and vision issues has kept me down and frustrated and I am being forced to listen to my body which has been "badly injured." No shit Sherlock!!!
I can't keep my thoughts flowing freely enough to make an intelligent post, therefor, I will not really be posting unless something slaps me right in the face and then I will share. I am in physical therapy 3 times a week and trying to work, neither is working out so well with other decisions and looking for something that I have no clue where it landed prior to the graduation and where we spread out the remains of stuff that still needs to be mailed off to the siblings.
I hope that everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations .... I am pretty sure I was heavily sedated and slept though most if not all of the festivities.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and healthy and safe 2012!!!
I hope to be back "with it" soon, Hoping for another shot at the stem cell treatment ...
Peace and Light to all!!
et
I'm sorry for the lack of posting. My head/brain/memory, among many other areas, i.e., my knee, most of my right side, and my lack of balance and vision issues has kept me down and frustrated and I am being forced to listen to my body which has been "badly injured." No shit Sherlock!!!
I can't keep my thoughts flowing freely enough to make an intelligent post, therefor, I will not really be posting unless something slaps me right in the face and then I will share. I am in physical therapy 3 times a week and trying to work, neither is working out so well with other decisions and looking for something that I have no clue where it landed prior to the graduation and where we spread out the remains of stuff that still needs to be mailed off to the siblings.
I hope that everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations .... I am pretty sure I was heavily sedated and slept though most if not all of the festivities.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and healthy and safe 2012!!!
I hope to be back "with it" soon, Hoping for another shot at the stem cell treatment ...
Peace and Light to all!!
et
Monday, January 2, 2012
Uncharted territory
Hi Everyone!!!
I hope this post finds everyone feeling pretty good this day after new years .... hehehe .... I didn't even make it to 8:00pm so I am no party animal anymore.
I am having a very difficult time trying to deal with these latest issues which presented with the accident. I am supposed to attempt to go back to work tomorrow, along with the already existing BS at work, and a dumb thing I did while under the influence of pain meds and muscle relaxants, I will no doubt have a verbal warning placed on me .... yet another hypercritical call by the HR OZ. Funny I can be reprimanded for a mistake (in which someone accidentally got an email which was meant for someone else .... and it happen to be to a work email). So it would seem that the "F" bomb I laid out in print is going to get my hand slapped, yet it is ok for "rent-a-docs" can shoot off derogatory emails to the support staff and NEVER be required to apologize for personal attacks on the very people who support them. I don't really see much difference here. I guess the bad behavior is only overlooked if you are ..... gee, I don't know .... special ass kissers. Never been part of who I am or how I play the game of life. Don't ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer you may get.
Anyway .... I went into town this morning .... 3rd time behind the wheel since getting a rental on Thursday. I am not liking it so much. I get extremely anxious and sick to my stomach. I can't be traveling 30 minutes to and from work holding my breath, which seemed to be what was happening. I know if I don't do it, I will never get back to the me I was prior to the accident. My short-term memory is still on the short side, being asked twice in 2 different stores if I was alright, or "can I help you find something?" When in actuality, I just had a major brain cramp in which I completely forget what I was looking for, or where I was going. I know that the repetitiveness will help me overcome this, but I cannot begin to tell you all how frustrating I am finding this state of being. I feel like my humor cells have been sucked out of me and all I am left with is this empty, blank-faced, slightly paranoid, exceptionally anxious woman with no funny bone left.
I will set up the neuro consult tomorrow, confirm when my ortho appointment is and consider the PT for 8 weeks. I am in no financial position to take on any extra medical expenses right off the bat with what fell over from last year. I am petrified of what my future may hold .... I am getting a little old to have to start all over .... again.
I wish everyone a great week!!
Peace and Light
et
I hope this post finds everyone feeling pretty good this day after new years .... hehehe .... I didn't even make it to 8:00pm so I am no party animal anymore.
I am having a very difficult time trying to deal with these latest issues which presented with the accident. I am supposed to attempt to go back to work tomorrow, along with the already existing BS at work, and a dumb thing I did while under the influence of pain meds and muscle relaxants, I will no doubt have a verbal warning placed on me .... yet another hypercritical call by the HR OZ. Funny I can be reprimanded for a mistake (in which someone accidentally got an email which was meant for someone else .... and it happen to be to a work email). So it would seem that the "F" bomb I laid out in print is going to get my hand slapped, yet it is ok for "rent-a-docs" can shoot off derogatory emails to the support staff and NEVER be required to apologize for personal attacks on the very people who support them. I don't really see much difference here. I guess the bad behavior is only overlooked if you are ..... gee, I don't know .... special ass kissers. Never been part of who I am or how I play the game of life. Don't ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer you may get.
Anyway .... I went into town this morning .... 3rd time behind the wheel since getting a rental on Thursday. I am not liking it so much. I get extremely anxious and sick to my stomach. I can't be traveling 30 minutes to and from work holding my breath, which seemed to be what was happening. I know if I don't do it, I will never get back to the me I was prior to the accident. My short-term memory is still on the short side, being asked twice in 2 different stores if I was alright, or "can I help you find something?" When in actuality, I just had a major brain cramp in which I completely forget what I was looking for, or where I was going. I know that the repetitiveness will help me overcome this, but I cannot begin to tell you all how frustrating I am finding this state of being. I feel like my humor cells have been sucked out of me and all I am left with is this empty, blank-faced, slightly paranoid, exceptionally anxious woman with no funny bone left.
I will set up the neuro consult tomorrow, confirm when my ortho appointment is and consider the PT for 8 weeks. I am in no financial position to take on any extra medical expenses right off the bat with what fell over from last year. I am petrified of what my future may hold .... I am getting a little old to have to start all over .... again.
I wish everyone a great week!!
Peace and Light
et
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Day one and it begins ....
Laughter is not always “the best medicine,” sometimes its just “the best disguise." Unknown.
This is where I currently sit. I am fearful, I guess that is the best word I can come up with currently. I am having a hard time (more verbally) coming up with the words I want to use, or just lose what thought was right there at any given moment, for no apparent reason. (sorry for the large font, it seems to be the only thing I can focus on).
I often was anguished when my mother had this difficulty, and now I can completely understand her frustration. I had much more patience with her than I am having with myself. I want me back ... NOW, and I have no idea of what to expect, how to help correct it, can it be corrected? or will this just be one more thing I am "going to have to learn to live with." I am feeling very much alone (good and bad), Maggie has gone above and beyond for her master and remains close by my side most of each day. I am supposed to return to work on Tuesday. I am not sure how this is all going to play out, for a couple of reasons, 1., my own fears of being able to comprehend my job tasks and apply appropriately, and 2. I did a stupid thing with my email ... and it got blown out of control ... as usual ... and Oz will be (so it says) on the first things addressed. Gee .... and I thought the bad behavior was rewarded .... seems as that is the way it has played out for the past few years. I really do need to find a job in which it really is okay to speak your opinions and not be told you have "a bad attitude." Would be so much better if the higher ups weren't so contradicting in their communication .... rules for some, don't apply to all. I see myself being used as an "example." ...... and then watch it hit the fan!!!
I can only cope with so much, and as I sit currently, my health and well-being is most important right now.
I hope that all enjoyed safe and happy new year's eve celebrations and had a nice, non painful, New Years Day!!
All the best in 2012~~
Peace and Light
et
This is where I currently sit. I am fearful, I guess that is the best word I can come up with currently. I am having a hard time (more verbally) coming up with the words I want to use, or just lose what thought was right there at any given moment, for no apparent reason. (sorry for the large font, it seems to be the only thing I can focus on).
I often was anguished when my mother had this difficulty, and now I can completely understand her frustration. I had much more patience with her than I am having with myself. I want me back ... NOW, and I have no idea of what to expect, how to help correct it, can it be corrected? or will this just be one more thing I am "going to have to learn to live with." I am feeling very much alone (good and bad), Maggie has gone above and beyond for her master and remains close by my side most of each day. I am supposed to return to work on Tuesday. I am not sure how this is all going to play out, for a couple of reasons, 1., my own fears of being able to comprehend my job tasks and apply appropriately, and 2. I did a stupid thing with my email ... and it got blown out of control ... as usual ... and Oz will be (so it says) on the first things addressed. Gee .... and I thought the bad behavior was rewarded .... seems as that is the way it has played out for the past few years. I really do need to find a job in which it really is okay to speak your opinions and not be told you have "a bad attitude." Would be so much better if the higher ups weren't so contradicting in their communication .... rules for some, don't apply to all. I see myself being used as an "example." ...... and then watch it hit the fan!!!
I can only cope with so much, and as I sit currently, my health and well-being is most important right now.
I hope that all enjoyed safe and happy new year's eve celebrations and had a nice, non painful, New Years Day!!
All the best in 2012~~
Peace and Light
et
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Most of you have already arrived in 2012
... so in a way you will save me from the clitche' phrase ....
I would like to wish everyone around the world the opportunity to obtain peace, love, tranquility, good health and prosperity on every level.
May we strive as individuals to do unto others .... I anticipate too many changes for me in 2012, therefore I will refrain from that nasty habit of making resolutions.
In good health, good spirit
Peace and Light today and always
et
I would like to wish everyone around the world the opportunity to obtain peace, love, tranquility, good health and prosperity on every level.
May we strive as individuals to do unto others .... I anticipate too many changes for me in 2012, therefore I will refrain from that nasty habit of making resolutions.
In good health, good spirit
Peace and Light today and always
et
Friday, December 30, 2011
As Eric Clapton's tune goes ...
"If I didn't have bad luck baby, I wouldn't have no luck at all" ..... Excellent tune, however, I am really down on the perseverance treadmill. I have been exceptionally tired since the accident, actually before with the surgery, then the infection, etc. etc. etc. you get the picture. I do not like the feelings that have come to the surface, I feel very distant, lost, exceptionaly "twitchy", and blank in my facial expressions. Imagine a dirty joke going right over my head ... ??? .... doesn't usually happen, but has become the norm ... again, I don't like it.
Since the accident, which is almost 3 weeks now, I have been fuzzy, both visually and overall. I can't remember much of anything that has transpired since the accident. No one can tell me how long this may go on, so I have no choice but to try and plow ahead or just go to sleep and hope for the best. I haven't been sleeping well, lots of either bad dreams (none I can remember) but I am told that a few "blood curdling screams" have come from my bedroom. There is a lot going on with me, within me, emotionally, spiritually, and health wise, etc. I know there are many that may be worse off then I am, however, I am really getting worn down with hit after hit, or so it seems, no real relief, no real gain, just run, run as fast as you can.
As we begin a new year, in which I can only hope, that nothing could be as bad as this past couple. I would like to wish to those who follow, the wisdom to do great things, the ability to see yourself (ourselves) as human and therefore, as humans, we treat each other how we our self would like to be treated. I have always tried to place this forward in my relationships, and as we all know, some people just never "get it."
I will continue to sign off in my usual manner,
To All My Readers this past year, I wish to you a peaceful, happy, healthy, and prosperous NEW YEAR!!!
Keep learning, keep expanding, keep the drive alive.
In Peace and Light
et
Since the accident, which is almost 3 weeks now, I have been fuzzy, both visually and overall. I can't remember much of anything that has transpired since the accident. No one can tell me how long this may go on, so I have no choice but to try and plow ahead or just go to sleep and hope for the best. I haven't been sleeping well, lots of either bad dreams (none I can remember) but I am told that a few "blood curdling screams" have come from my bedroom. There is a lot going on with me, within me, emotionally, spiritually, and health wise, etc. I know there are many that may be worse off then I am, however, I am really getting worn down with hit after hit, or so it seems, no real relief, no real gain, just run, run as fast as you can.
As we begin a new year, in which I can only hope, that nothing could be as bad as this past couple. I would like to wish to those who follow, the wisdom to do great things, the ability to see yourself (ourselves) as human and therefore, as humans, we treat each other how we our self would like to be treated. I have always tried to place this forward in my relationships, and as we all know, some people just never "get it."
I will continue to sign off in my usual manner,
To All My Readers this past year, I wish to you a peaceful, happy, healthy, and prosperous NEW YEAR!!!
Keep learning, keep expanding, keep the drive alive.
In Peace and Light
et
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Happiest of the season
Good Morning,
Just a quick little post ... 'quick' ... a word which has not been in my vocabulary for some weeks now.
It has been 11 days since the accident and I can't remember more than perhaps 2 encounters ... ?? What's up with that? I roam aimlessly around the house, which lucky for me, isn't that big, but big enough to forget what I am trying to do. I guess this could play to my advantage. Christmas will be more than quiet here in AZ, me trying to regain brain power ... HT will be working, it will be the first Holiday without both my parents .... and my siblings too. It has been a year of ups and downs, and currently, it would seem more down .... but this has given me time to reflect on my blessings and those in my life that are true and total blessings!!! I don't know how I would cope or survive without the unconditional love in which I feel from these special souls. THANK YOU!!!
To my readers, many of which I have no idea who you are, but I deeply appreciate your "stopping by" every now and again to gather information or just other's opinions. I am hoping 2012 brings more discussion, and more ways to support each other in our quest for cures.
On that note, I am going to go rest my brain, which apparently, according to friends, means "BE A VEGETABLE" .... "lay down, watch some movies you've seen a 100 times .... NO THINKING, NO TRYING TO DO THINGS!!" "REST!!!" Yes, I know this ... feels like that has been all I am capable of .. except I am having a hard time operating remote controls, so the only movies I have seen are the ones on the dish..... and I think my humor took a big hit, seems as most everything is going right over my head .... ?? I wish someone could tell me how one gets dizzy in their sleep ... ?? There will be lots of rest today and tomorrow, I'm not sleeping well due in large part to this feeling of being dizzy and spinning, even in my sleep.... I'm sure this is adding to what some find amusing, however, I find it frustrating.
I would like to wish you all a very special holiday season whatever your beliefs.
Travel safe and have a WONDERFUL DAY and a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!
Just a quick little post ... 'quick' ... a word which has not been in my vocabulary for some weeks now.
To my readers, many of which I have no idea who you are, but I deeply appreciate your "stopping by" every now and again to gather information or just other's opinions. I am hoping 2012 brings more discussion, and more ways to support each other in our quest for cures.
On that note, I am going to go rest my brain, which apparently, according to friends, means "BE A VEGETABLE" .... "lay down, watch some movies you've seen a 100 times .... NO THINKING, NO TRYING TO DO THINGS!!" "REST!!!" Yes, I know this ... feels like that has been all I am capable of .. except I am having a hard time operating remote controls, so the only movies I have seen are the ones on the dish..... and I think my humor took a big hit, seems as most everything is going right over my head .... ?? I wish someone could tell me how one gets dizzy in their sleep ... ?? There will be lots of rest today and tomorrow, I'm not sleeping well due in large part to this feeling of being dizzy and spinning, even in my sleep.... I'm sure this is adding to what some find amusing, however, I find it frustrating.
I would like to wish you all a very special holiday season whatever your beliefs.
Travel safe and have a WONDERFUL DAY and a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
I am alive, I am ok ... just need to heal and combat the anxiety
Hi everyone ....
Sorry about lack of posts .... I was involved in an accident on Tuesday afternoon (not my fault and weather was bad, not that that factor should play a role) .... things have not been the best physically, emotionally, or in the over-anxiety department landing in the ER again on Friday afternoon after seeing my PCP .... I apparently am suffering from concussive/post-concussion symptoms ... my "can't remember shit" is at a whole new level in which I am not handling well, along with intensified anxiety and apparent "noise in my sleep." Bruises on the rest of me are attempting to heal, swelling is going down, pain seems to be less intense today, but my tummy is still on a rampage with any sort of real movement.
It is raining today, good day to curl up with my baby-dog, and take the drugs as instructed (which are making me sick) and just allow my body to heal, as the more I try to move around, the more sick and disoriented I become.
I don't want and/or can't say much more ..... other than I saw my car for the first time on Friday and didn't react so well .... I am, however, very GRATEFUL to be alive ...
If I don't get an opportunity to post again before weekend, I would like to wish everyone a Peaceful, Joyous, Healthy and Merry Christmas!!!!!
With Peace, Light, and much Love
et
Sorry about lack of posts .... I was involved in an accident on Tuesday afternoon (not my fault and weather was bad, not that that factor should play a role) .... things have not been the best physically, emotionally, or in the over-anxiety department landing in the ER again on Friday afternoon after seeing my PCP .... I apparently am suffering from concussive/post-concussion symptoms ... my "can't remember shit" is at a whole new level in which I am not handling well, along with intensified anxiety and apparent "noise in my sleep." Bruises on the rest of me are attempting to heal, swelling is going down, pain seems to be less intense today, but my tummy is still on a rampage with any sort of real movement.
It is raining today, good day to curl up with my baby-dog, and take the drugs as instructed (which are making me sick) and just allow my body to heal, as the more I try to move around, the more sick and disoriented I become.
I don't want and/or can't say much more ..... other than I saw my car for the first time on Friday and didn't react so well .... I am, however, very GRATEFUL to be alive ...
If I don't get an opportunity to post again before weekend, I would like to wish everyone a Peaceful, Joyous, Healthy and Merry Christmas!!!!!
With Peace, Light, and much Love
et
Thursday, December 8, 2011
In honor of ...
My beautiful daughter, Hillary, will graduate on Saturday afternoon with her RN degree. I am so very proud of this young woman who has overcome some of life's deep losses over the past 3 years and yet refused to give up!! I wish her much success and happiness in launching her new career and going to places she never dreamed of.... she is bound to make a mark in the medical field, and for that, I am forever grateful!!!
CONGRATULATIONS and I LOVE YOU!!!
CONGRATULATIONS and I LOVE YOU!!!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Very cool
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/dec/01/scientists-create-first-video-attack-causes-diabet/?sciquest
There is a video with this article. I found this very interesting.
Have a good evening!!
Peace and Light
et
There is a video with this article. I found this very interesting.
Have a good evening!!
Peace and Light
et
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Another good read on the stem cell front
I don't discriminate ... good info, is good info ...
http://www.stemcellmx.com/controlling-stem-cells-new-breakthrough/
http://www.stemcellmx.com/controlling-stem-cells-new-breakthrough/
Artifical Pancreas update
http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/26/health/artificial-pancreas-diabetes-patients/
An excellent article on the progress of the artificial pancreas. This is just another option for the cure. Although I know it has been in the works for years, and now with potential FDA approval, I wonder what the cost to an average patient will be, and what sort of loop holes we may have to jump through to get placed on a list to have one. There is no doubt criteria in which must be met prior to being accepted for one. As a patient, I just am always shaking my head as to WHY there must be so much politics involved in the care of the American public, not just the rich.
Enjoy the article, I think the JDRF on on course to conquer soon, this project, and research into the stem cell avenue as well. Check out their website off to the right or www.jdrf.org
Have a wonderful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et
An excellent article on the progress of the artificial pancreas. This is just another option for the cure. Although I know it has been in the works for years, and now with potential FDA approval, I wonder what the cost to an average patient will be, and what sort of loop holes we may have to jump through to get placed on a list to have one. There is no doubt criteria in which must be met prior to being accepted for one. As a patient, I just am always shaking my head as to WHY there must be so much politics involved in the care of the American public, not just the rich.
Enjoy the article, I think the JDRF on on course to conquer soon, this project, and research into the stem cell avenue as well. Check out their website off to the right or www.jdrf.org
Have a wonderful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et
Monday, November 28, 2011
No Lies
Hey All!!
I hope that all who celebrated had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoyed the nice long weekend.
I will not lie, and this will be a short post. I am down, anxious, tired, I hurt physically (lots of tossing and moving been taking place). I want change for myself for 2012, I want it now. I am anxious over so many things, and with this being the first holiday season without my parents have been adding to the depression. Every time I look or say something to my girl child she starts crying or looks like she just lost her best friend. She is missing my mom most of all right now. My mother was such an influence on Hillary's outlook on life, education, and relationships. I keep trying to reassure her that Grandma may not be here physically, but I do believe that she is with us, in our hearts, and watching proudly from above. I too, miss her terribly lately. I just wish I could talk with her again, long, long, long talk. There are so many things that remain on my plate, that all seem to be some sort of life altering happening, and I can't avoid these things. I know, and am prepared for the fall out, or success of such actions, however, I feel very much alone in recent months. I am also very excited about what my near future may hold for me, again, I would like to have someone close to be able to share it with me and laugh and cry at the accomplishments I hope to attain.
I am taking a weekend to spend with a dear friend of mine, this too, I am feeling anxious about, too many wierd happenings, dreams, feelings, etc. ..... are these signs?? If so I don't want to miss them ... I can be a little dizzy at times and often find myself thinking, damn, if only .... well, I always try to go with my gut feeling, given my gut can be exceptionally sensitive, gives me a lot of those questionable moments. I am going to try hard to relax, enjoy our time together and the potential of talking to the other side ... heheheh .... we have tickets to see John Edward of "Talking to the Other Side" fame. I don't really expect anything, but how bizarre would that be to be singled out due to "chatter" or "loud discussions" from the other side. You know what the saying is, 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' The following week, .... well .... this is going to be a bittersweet accomplishment, but I am so incredibly proud of my 22 year old daughter and this major goal under her wing, and hopefully, having gained a little more wisdom in where and how she continues her life. I wish her the very best, much happiness, and the wings to fly where ever her heart and mind want to go.
Thanks for your continued support in my quest to find the cure, and promote the adult stem cell treatments.
I wish you all a relaxing and peaceful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et
I hope that all who celebrated had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoyed the nice long weekend.
I will not lie, and this will be a short post. I am down, anxious, tired, I hurt physically (lots of tossing and moving been taking place). I want change for myself for 2012, I want it now. I am anxious over so many things, and with this being the first holiday season without my parents have been adding to the depression. Every time I look or say something to my girl child she starts crying or looks like she just lost her best friend. She is missing my mom most of all right now. My mother was such an influence on Hillary's outlook on life, education, and relationships. I keep trying to reassure her that Grandma may not be here physically, but I do believe that she is with us, in our hearts, and watching proudly from above. I too, miss her terribly lately. I just wish I could talk with her again, long, long, long talk. There are so many things that remain on my plate, that all seem to be some sort of life altering happening, and I can't avoid these things. I know, and am prepared for the fall out, or success of such actions, however, I feel very much alone in recent months. I am also very excited about what my near future may hold for me, again, I would like to have someone close to be able to share it with me and laugh and cry at the accomplishments I hope to attain.
I am taking a weekend to spend with a dear friend of mine, this too, I am feeling anxious about, too many wierd happenings, dreams, feelings, etc. ..... are these signs?? If so I don't want to miss them ... I can be a little dizzy at times and often find myself thinking, damn, if only .... well, I always try to go with my gut feeling, given my gut can be exceptionally sensitive, gives me a lot of those questionable moments. I am going to try hard to relax, enjoy our time together and the potential of talking to the other side ... heheheh .... we have tickets to see John Edward of "Talking to the Other Side" fame. I don't really expect anything, but how bizarre would that be to be singled out due to "chatter" or "loud discussions" from the other side. You know what the saying is, 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' The following week, .... well .... this is going to be a bittersweet accomplishment, but I am so incredibly proud of my 22 year old daughter and this major goal under her wing, and hopefully, having gained a little more wisdom in where and how she continues her life. I wish her the very best, much happiness, and the wings to fly where ever her heart and mind want to go.
Thanks for your continued support in my quest to find the cure, and promote the adult stem cell treatments.
I wish you all a relaxing and peaceful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)