Laughter is not always “the best medicine,” sometimes its just “the best disguise." Unknown.
This is where I currently sit. I am fearful, I guess that is the best word I can come up with currently. I am having a hard time (more verbally) coming up with the words I want to use, or just lose what thought was right there at any given moment, for no apparent reason. (sorry for the large font, it seems to be the only thing I can focus on).
I often was anguished when my mother had this difficulty, and now I can completely understand her frustration. I had much more patience with her than I am having with myself. I want me back ... NOW, and I have no idea of what to expect, how to help correct it, can it be corrected? or will this just be one more thing I am "going to have to learn to live with." I am feeling very much alone (good and bad), Maggie has gone above and beyond for her master and remains close by my side most of each day. I am supposed to return to work on Tuesday. I am not sure how this is all going to play out, for a couple of reasons, 1., my own fears of being able to comprehend my job tasks and apply appropriately, and 2. I did a stupid thing with my email ... and it got blown out of control ... as usual ... and Oz will be (so it says) on the first things addressed. Gee .... and I thought the bad behavior was rewarded .... seems as that is the way it has played out for the past few years. I really do need to find a job in which it really is okay to speak your opinions and not be told you have "a bad attitude." Would be so much better if the higher ups weren't so contradicting in their communication .... rules for some, don't apply to all. I see myself being used as an "example." ...... and then watch it hit the fan!!!
I can only cope with so much, and as I sit currently, my health and well-being is most important right now.
I hope that all enjoyed safe and happy new year's eve celebrations and had a nice, non painful, New Years Day!!
All the best in 2012~~
Peace and Light
et
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