Another New Week

Hi Everyone!!

Well spring is here in Arizona, and so are the blooming weeds!!! There is one weed in particular that the smell of not only blows my head to another galaxy, but the smell nauseates me beyond belief, and they are sprouting up EVERYWHERE!!! In the fall, they will be the tumbleweeds that are now blowing all over Arizona.

I had to drive down to Phoenix yesterday morning to attend a class. I was up at 4, left at 6, arrived at 8:30, left at 11:45, returned home at 1:30. Too much driving and education to cram into such a short period of time. It was 94 degrees when I came out of the hospital, the conference room we were in was almost that hot as well. My blood sugars seemed to be a little high yesterday, not sure if this is allergy related or stress related. I will be having some blood work done this week and we will get a first REAL look at what is going on since treatment. I am sort of leery to all the antibiotics that were pumped into me to treat the pneumonia, and the deep stress levels in regard to caring for my father and lack of support from any siblings has caused. I have since, come to the realization, that it is my duty, and I will tend to it, minus any sibling input, if they don't want to step up, then ALL decisions are mine, and I will deal with the consequences, NOT theirs, they can deal with that all by themselves as they are the ones that created the dark hole. From that point forward, I am on my own as far as immediate family goes. I am sorry it came to this, however, it was not I, that could not deal with the issues at play. They all chose to leave it all to me and walk away. Digging up the past, is not my idea of dealing with the issues of the present and moving forward, which is what one "player" put forth. Call me all the names you want, blame me, as it appears you are already doing, keep score, also a trait I knew would come into play. I don't keep score. I know that MANY people have done wonderful, generous things for both me and my daughter over the years. If I knew then, what I know now, perhaps I would never have accepted those gifts and/or offerings of help knowing they would be thrown back in my face years later. I do things to help people out of the goodness of my heart, not expecting to be repaid, or that the deed come back to me. It is true, that it is better to give than receive. I can honestly say that I have been on both ends. To give, what little I have to offer, my support, an ear, perhaps a place to sleep, a decent meal, a hot shower, makes me feel good in my soul. To receive, such as I have recently, in a manner in which someone WANTS me to grow old with them, if even from a far, is such a humbling experience. They see the person I am, the lengths I have gone to in my caring for others, and expecting no rewards. Where my siblings are concerned, I had different expectations, that was my bad!! LOL ... silly me, I should never "expect" as I should know by now in life that my expectations of others are often higher than most could ever aspire ... LMAO ... yes, I am!! I refuse to lower my expectations where the human goodness is concerned, or even work ethics, as a coworker stated to me just this past week, "lower your expectations." LOL ... NOT!! We should all be ethical in our workings, and encounters. What has happened to everyone??? Greed, selfishness, overall BIG I, little u syndrome is rampant.

Ok ... with that tangent out of the way, my baby is home from work and will be going to bed soon, so I must start my day!!! Have a great day everyone!!

In Peace and Light
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