Friday happenings

Happy Friday!!

Ok ... just a quickie update.

Anxiety,
occasional panic
body ache and odd responses (massage therapist thinks it is my inner method of coping with the anxiety behind the wheel, which I thought I was approaching appropriately, she agreed, however, the mind is a VERY powerful persuader of response)
fuzzy (at best) memory
short-term CRS (can't remember shit!!) ... (it's ok to laugh ... I am trying)
stresses of coping with ...
family issues
employment issues
home front issues (bills, mortgage, etc)
child issues (she is moving out, and up ... and momma is feeling a little "swept off the bottom of her shoes" I know this was coming ... I just didn't think it would hit so fast ... and in the midst of my chaos.
How to make sure I am compliant with ALL docs and meds ... (lucky for me, my docs are AWESOME and try to work with me in regard to what can be afforded, the most natural way possible to get things done rather than writing a script ... a pill, in my opinion, does NOT fix everything!!!

Ok ... well ... those are some of the issues in which I am attempting to work through as I focus on recovery of my mind and functionality. I am SO glad I can manage to focus on the topics that interest me ... but that is still a questionable retainment status..... ??? I am learning.

For the next couple of days ... HT is home until Sunday ... yard work this morning ... heat is going to slow me, so .. am hoping we can get a good chunk done each day for me to follow up on next week while I am alone. This afternoon I have my first psychotherapy appointment with the woman who is suppose to "help" me get through this ... 5 months after the fact ... she has an excellent reputation on working with head injury patients on retraining, learning tools for me to accomplish the things I can't seem to get done anymore. I am ... again, unsure of all of this ... not really how I approach things. I can vividly remember the last time I spent this much time in sweats!!!! ..... and it was (or at least seem that way) a long time ago, and I had issues of safety involved for both myself and my child. (this phase of my life is book material ... hehehe). We will see how this plays out, HT is going to accompany me to help with some of the things the "outside" sees and how I am responding to other happenings of life.

On Monday .... another trip to Phoenix ... oh joy!!! I again have to do the trip myself ... I have my first appointment with my endocrinologist since my 2nd stemmie treatment .. and I believe I have some excellent data. I am very excited on how she will respond to this data. I am so very much looking forward to sharing some of these numbers and lab values for the past couple of months, and over the next month. To see the correlation between the stemmies and the lab values prior to and post treatment. I think this is VERY exciting stuff. Given how I feel at this very moment .. I would take a booster right now .... hehehe ... I think the way I am feeling has something to do with this B12 BS. Next lab draw on that will be in 2 weeks.

So ... I am heading out to the yard shortly and hope for a decent day, and a productive weekend. One thing I keep being told is to readjust my thinking ... (hahaha ...this is so much easier said than done) and focus on a "time frame" rather then the completion of a project. (suppose to help build my stamina and prevent the headaches that can come back due to the pushing of myself). Again, this has been a portion of my journey in which I was not planning on, completely unprepared to tackle, and feeling as though I am very alone, physically and emotionally, on how to cope with ALL this stuff that needs attention, attention of one who is at least remotely in control of what can be remembered ... I write all sorts of stuff down ... just depends on if I can find it again when needed.

I am not trying to come across as "whining" ... I am just trying to put out there the added stresses to my life in which I CAN discuss currently, and how hard I am finding it ... it is hard to deal with all this financial stress and try and focus on my recovery as well ... almost seems completely opposite of what they are trying to accomplish ... lawyers, insurance companies ... starting to fall in same category as FDA ... LOL ... in my humble opinion.

On that note ... I would like to wish everyone a wonderful, relaxing, productive, whatever makes you happy weekend!!! Be good to yourself .... Be good to each other!!

Peace and Light
et