Good Evening Everyone!!
... and a happy Friday!!! I didn't think this week was EVER going to end. Too much hitting this house to deal with all at once. But .... in my usual "can't keep a good...down" mantra .... hahaha...I have tried to remain positive, that although I am still at a loss as to what I am dealing with, it is basically out of my hands at this point. I got my biopsies back that were done by the GYN ... we dodged a bullet on this one as it is only "mild" this time around. Meaning that we are only at the cellular changes and stress is a known contributor ..... so I continue to breathe deep with my shoulders back. I can deal with this, and we have a couple of options in which to make it good again. I will be re-checked in 3 months.
On to Monday .... I must arrive at the hospital at 7:30 with surgery scheduled for 9:45 lasting ... approximately 60-90 minutes .... ok ... not anything I haven't done, what seems like a hundred times already, it must be this way. We won't know what we are dealing with until the surgeon gets in there, and decides "how much is taken out." With that last little blurt stems much anxiety, but I keep telling myself, keep the faith, believe in that which is bigger than I. I have stated before, I am just a speck in the big picture of things. I like my "speck" to shine ... LOL ... even in these situations. Yes, I will not lie, I am anxious, I don't like not knowing. I like to see where things start, and follow them through, and I want to KNOWhow it all works along the way. When I find myself in these sorts of situations, I remove myself to some extent from the things that make me drift to dark spots. Now, don't get me wrong, I have had a living will in place for years .... LOL .... I know my risks, and the last thing I want is to leave my baby with a bigger mess to clean up than we already have here. I would like to think I will leave her better off in some ways, but neither one of us is ready to make this reality just yet. As long as I retain my "fight" I have the upper hand in my own outcome. I did make a really bad mistake this afternoon after leaving the doctor's office with my results and stopped to get my hair trimmed ..... BAD IDEA!!!! I am now ... short again .... really short. I got home, glared at the girl-child and just said, "yeah, yeah, I know ...." I guess I will be re-inventing myself again ... heheheheheh ..... it's only hair, but my vision will never come to reality until those who do this job, define "trim." Its like turning on the weed-whacker and just letting it go on its own. I have the product to make it work ... hahaha ... and with hat season right around the corner, it will be fine for a few months, and way-easy for post surgery head!!!
Ok my friends, I have a lot to accomplish before Sunday evening so I recuperate comfortably. I will post soon, and let you know how it is going. Thank you to all who send good vibes, prayers, and comforting thoughts. I very much appreciate all the love!!!!
Be well and have a wonderful weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et
Hi Binky:
ReplyDeleteAs always my prayers and thoughts are with you as you once again go through a frightening operation. Hopefully this will be the last and they will finally find out what's wrong with you. I sure wish I lived closer to be of some help, but I'm sure God will be with you, and that will help you get through this.
Good luck Monday.
Love and prayers
Mom D