HOPE - I still have it .... for Stem Cells !!

A good discussion topic for the US

2012-02-12T08:01:00.001-07:00

http://www.sacbee.com/2012/02/12/4255184/these-cells-could-save-lives-but.html

I'm sure there are many other topics we could discuss as well this morning.
Have a good day, be good to yourself, be good to each other!!!

Peace and Light
et

Generous Donation

2012-02-11T12:29:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone ....

Too much to say, not enough attention and/or drive to stay on track to get it out.

The following link is to an inspiring notation on a very generous donation. If I had access to large monetary availability I would do stuff like this. My wish is to one day start a foundation in which I could help bring stem cell treatments to those of us "common folk" who in deed keep this country going on so many levels. An amazing, self-less gesture to help the greater good of mankind.

I had another thought I wanted to share .... but after sitting here for five minutes trying to recall it I am at a loss, it left as fast as it came into sight. I MAJOR issue these days.

http://pacificpalisades.patch.com/articles/ucla-receives-1m-gift-for-stem-cell-symposium

I hope this posting finds everyone healthy, and still grounded to what is ultimately comforting for oneself.
Be good to yourself, be good to each other!

Peace, Light, and Serenity!!!
et

Type 1 Stem cell article

2012-01-22T18:24:00.003-07:00

http://www.doctortipster.com/7239-type-1-diabetes-can-be-reversed-using-stem-cell-educator-therapy-according-to-new-study.html

Stemmies ..... Please ..... Please .....

I'm sorry I have neglected you

2012-01-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

Hey to All!!

I'm sorry for the lack of posting. My head/brain/memory, among many other areas, i.e., my knee, most of my right side, and my lack of balance and vision issues has kept me down and frustrated and I am being forced to listen to my body which has been "badly injured." No shit Sherlock!!!

I can't keep my thoughts flowing freely enough to make an intelligent post, therefor, I will not really be posting unless something slaps me right in the face and then I will share. I am in physical therapy 3 times a week and trying to work, neither is working out so well with other decisions and looking for something that I have no clue where it landed prior to the graduation and where we spread out the remains of stuff that still needs to be mailed off to the siblings.

I hope that everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations .... I am pretty sure I was heavily sedated and slept though most if not all of the festivities.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and healthy and safe 2012!!!
I hope to be back "with it" soon, Hoping for another shot at the stem cell treatment ...

Peace and Light to all!!
et

Uncharted territory

2012-01-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!!!

I hope this post finds everyone feeling pretty good this day after new years .... hehehe .... I didn't even make it to 8:00pm so I am no party animal anymore.

I am having a very difficult time trying to deal with these latest issues which presented with the accident. I am supposed to attempt to go back to work tomorrow, along with the already existing BS at work, and a dumb thing I did while under the influence of pain meds and muscle relaxants, I will no doubt have a verbal warning placed on me .... yet another hypercritical call by the HR OZ. Funny I can be reprimanded for a mistake (in which someone accidentally got an email which was meant for someone else .... and it happen to be to a work email). So it would seem that the "F" bomb I laid out in print is going to get my hand slapped, yet it is ok for "rent-a-docs" can shoot off derogatory emails to the support staff and NEVER be required to apologize for personal attacks on the very people who support them. I don't really see much difference here. I guess the bad behavior is only overlooked if you are ..... gee, I don't know .... special ass kissers. Never been part of who I am or how I play the game of life. Don't ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer you may get.

Anyway .... I went into town this morning .... 3rd time behind the wheel since getting a rental on Thursday. I am not liking it so much. I get extremely anxious and sick to my stomach. I can't be traveling 30 minutes to and from work holding my breath, which seemed to be what was happening. I know if I don't do it, I will never get back to the me I was prior to the accident. My short-term memory is still on the short side, being asked twice in 2 different stores if I was alright, or "can I help you find something?" When in actuality, I just had a major brain cramp in which I completely forget what I was looking for, or where I was going. I know that the repetitiveness will help me overcome this, but I cannot begin to tell you all how frustrating I am finding this state of being. I feel like my humor cells have been sucked out of me and all I am left with is this empty, blank-faced, slightly paranoid, exceptionally anxious woman with no funny bone left.

I will set up the neuro consult tomorrow, confirm when my ortho appointment is and consider the PT for 8 weeks. I am in no financial position to take on any extra medical expenses right off the bat with what fell over from last year. I am petrified of what my future may hold .... I am getting a little old to have to start all over .... again.

I wish everyone a great week!!
Peace and Light
et

Day one and it begins ....

2012-01-01T17:02:00.001-07:00

Laughter is not always “the best medicine,” sometimes its just “the best disguise." Unknown.

This is where I currently sit. I am fearful, I guess that is the best word I can come up with currently. I am having a hard time (more verbally) coming up with the words I want to use, or just lose what thought was right there at any given moment, for no apparent reason. (sorry for the large font, it seems to be the only thing I can focus on).

I often was anguished when my mother had this difficulty, and now I can completely understand her frustration. I had much more patience with her than I am having with myself. I want me back ... NOW, and I have no idea of what to expect, how to help correct it, can it be corrected? or will this just be one more thing I am "going to have to learn to live with." I am feeling very much alone (good and bad), Maggie has gone above and beyond for her master and remains close by my side most of each day. I am supposed to return to work on Tuesday. I am not sure how this is all going to play out, for a couple of reasons, 1., my own fears of being able to comprehend my job tasks and apply appropriately, and 2. I did a stupid thing with my email ... and it got blown out of control ... as usual ... and Oz will be (so it says) on the first things addressed. Gee .... and I thought the bad behavior was rewarded .... seems as that is the way it has played out for the past few years. I really do need to find a job in which it really is okay to speak your opinions and not be told you have "a bad attitude." Would be so much better if the higher ups weren't so contradicting in their communication .... rules for some, don't apply to all. I see myself being used as an "example." ...... and then watch it hit the fan!!!

I can only cope with so much, and as I sit currently, my health and well-being is most important right now.

I hope that all enjoyed safe and happy new year's eve celebrations and had a nice, non painful, New Years Day!!

All the best in 2012~~

Peace and Light
et

Most of you have already arrived in 2012

2011-12-31T18:43:00.000-07:00

... so in a way you will save me from the clitche' phrase ....

I would like to wish everyone around the world the opportunity to obtain peace, love, tranquility, good health and prosperity on every level.

May we strive as individuals to do unto others .... I anticipate too many changes for me in 2012, therefore I will refrain from that nasty habit of making resolutions.

In good health, good spirit
Peace and Light today and always
et

As Eric Clapton's tune goes ...

2011-12-30T15:56:00.001-07:00

"If I didn't have bad luck baby, I wouldn't have no luck at all" ..... Excellent tune, however, I am really down on the perseverance treadmill. I have been exceptionally tired since the accident, actually before with the surgery, then the infection, etc. etc. etc. you get the picture. I do not like the feelings that have come to the surface, I feel very distant, lost, exceptionaly "twitchy", and blank in my facial expressions. Imagine a dirty joke going right over my head ... ??? .... doesn't usually happen, but has become the norm ... again, I don't like it.

Since the accident, which is almost 3 weeks now, I have been fuzzy, both visually and overall. I can't remember much of anything that has transpired since the accident. No one can tell me how long this may go on, so I have no choice but to try and plow ahead or just go to sleep and hope for the best. I haven't been sleeping well, lots of either bad dreams (none I can remember) but I am told that a few "blood curdling screams" have come from my bedroom. There is a lot going on with me, within me, emotionally, spiritually, and health wise, etc. I know there are many that may be worse off then I am, however, I am really getting worn down with hit after hit, or so it seems, no real relief, no real gain, just run, run as fast as you can.

As we begin a new year, in which I can only hope, that nothing could be as bad as this past couple. I would like to wish to those who follow, the wisdom to do great things, the ability to see yourself (ourselves) as human and therefore, as humans, we treat each other how we our self would like to be treated. I have always tried to place this forward in my relationships, and as we all know, some people just never "get it."

I will continue to sign off in my usual manner,
To All My Readers this past year, I wish to you a peaceful, happy, healthy, and prosperous NEW YEAR!!!
Keep learning, keep expanding, keep the drive alive.
In Peace and Light
et

Happiest of the season

2011-12-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Just a quick little post ... 'quick' ... a word which has not been in my vocabulary for some weeks now.

It has been 11 days since the accident and I can't remember more than perhaps 2 encounters ... ?? What's up with that? I roam aimlessly around the house, which lucky for me, isn't that big, but big enough to forget what I am trying to do. I guess this could play to my advantage. Christmas will be more than quiet here in AZ, me trying to regain brain power ... HT will be working, it will be the first Holiday without both my parents .... and my siblings too. It has been a year of ups and downs, and currently, it would seem more down .... but this has given me time to reflect on my blessings and those in my life that are true and total blessings!!! I don't know how I would cope or survive without the unconditional love in which I feel from these special souls. THANK YOU!!!

To my readers, many of which I have no idea who you are, but I deeply appreciate your "stopping by" every now and again to gather information or just other's opinions. I am hoping 2012 brings more discussion, and more ways to support each other in our quest for cures.

On that note, I am going to go rest my brain, which apparently, according to friends, means "BE A VEGETABLE" .... "lay down, watch some movies you've seen a 100 times .... NO THINKING, NO TRYING TO DO THINGS!!" "REST!!!" Yes, I know this ... feels like that has been all I am capable of .. except I am having a hard time operating remote controls, so the only movies I have seen are the ones on the dish..... and I think my humor took a big hit, seems as most everything is going right over my head .... ?? I wish someone could tell me how one gets dizzy in their sleep ... ?? There will be lots of rest today and tomorrow, I'm not sleeping well due in large part to this feeling of being dizzy and spinning, even in my sleep.... I'm sure this is adding to what some find amusing, however, I find it frustrating.

I would like to wish you all a very special holiday season whatever your beliefs.
Travel safe and have a WONDERFUL DAY and a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!

I am alive, I am ok ... just need to heal and combat the anxiety

2011-12-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone ....

Sorry about lack of posts .... I was involved in an accident on Tuesday afternoon (not my fault and weather was bad, not that that factor should play a role) .... things have not been the best physically, emotionally, or in the over-anxiety department landing in the ER again on Friday afternoon after seeing my PCP .... I apparently am suffering from concussive/post-concussion symptoms ... my "can't remember shit" is at a whole new level in which I am not handling well, along with intensified anxiety and apparent "noise in my sleep." Bruises on the rest of me are attempting to heal, swelling is going down, pain seems to be less intense today, but my tummy is still on a rampage with any sort of real movement.

It is raining today, good day to curl up with my baby-dog, and take the drugs as instructed (which are making me sick) and just allow my body to heal, as the more I try to move around, the more sick and disoriented I become.

I don't want and/or can't say much more ..... other than I saw my car for the first time on Friday and didn't react so well .... I am, however, very GRATEFUL to be alive ...

If I don't get an opportunity to post again before weekend, I would like to wish everyone a Peaceful, Joyous, Healthy and Merry Christmas!!!!!

With Peace, Light, and much Love
et

In honor of ...

2011-12-08T08:34:00.001-07:00

My beautiful daughter, Hillary, will graduate on Saturday afternoon with her RN degree. I am so very proud of this young woman who has overcome some of life's deep losses over the past 3 years and yet refused to give up!! I wish her much success and happiness in launching her new career and going to places she never dreamed of.... she is bound to make a mark in the medical field, and for that, I am forever grateful!!!

CONGRATULATIONS and I LOVE YOU!!!

Very cool

2011-12-01T18:27:00.001-07:00

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/dec/01/scientists-create-first-video-attack-causes-diabet/?sciquest

There is a video with this article. I found this very interesting.

Have a good evening!!
Peace and Light
et

Another good read on the stem cell front

2011-11-29T18:03:00.001-07:00

I don't discriminate ... good info, is good info ...

http://www.stemcellmx.com/controlling-stem-cells-new-breakthrough/

Artifical Pancreas update

2011-11-29T15:36:00.001-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/26/health/artificial-pancreas-diabetes-patients/

An excellent article on the progress of the artificial pancreas. This is just another option for the cure. Although I know it has been in the works for years, and now with potential FDA approval, I wonder what the cost to an average patient will be, and what sort of loop holes we may have to jump through to get placed on a list to have one. There is no doubt criteria in which must be met prior to being accepted for one. As a patient, I just am always shaking my head as to WHY there must be so much politics involved in the care of the American public, not just the rich.

Enjoy the article, I think the JDRF on on course to conquer soon, this project, and research into the stem cell avenue as well. Check out their website off to the right or www.jdrf.org

Have a wonderful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et

No Lies

2011-11-28T18:02:00.001-07:00

Hey All!!

I hope that all who celebrated had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoyed the nice long weekend.
I will not lie, and this will be a short post. I am down, anxious, tired, I hurt physically (lots of tossing and moving been taking place). I want change for myself for 2012, I want it now. I am anxious over so many things, and with this being the first holiday season without my parents have been adding to the depression. Every time I look or say something to my girl child she starts crying or looks like she just lost her best friend. She is missing my mom most of all right now. My mother was such an influence on Hillary's outlook on life, education, and relationships. I keep trying to reassure her that Grandma may not be here physically, but I do believe that she is with us, in our hearts, and watching proudly from above. I too, miss her terribly lately. I just wish I could talk with her again, long, long, long talk. There are so many things that remain on my plate, that all seem to be some sort of life altering happening, and I can't avoid these things. I know, and am prepared for the fall out, or success of such actions, however, I feel very much alone in recent months. I am also very excited about what my near future may hold for me, again, I would like to have someone close to be able to share it with me and laugh and cry at the accomplishments I hope to attain.

I am taking a weekend to spend with a dear friend of mine, this too, I am feeling anxious about, too many wierd happenings, dreams, feelings, etc. ..... are these signs?? If so I don't want to miss them ... I can be a little dizzy at times and often find myself thinking, damn, if only .... well, I always try to go with my gut feeling, given my gut can be exceptionally sensitive, gives me a lot of those questionable moments. I am going to try hard to relax, enjoy our time together and the potential of talking to the other side ... heheheh .... we have tickets to see John Edward of "Talking to the Other Side" fame. I don't really expect anything, but how bizarre would that be to be singled out due to "chatter" or "loud discussions" from the other side. You know what the saying is, 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' The following week, .... well .... this is going to be a bittersweet accomplishment, but I am so incredibly proud of my 22 year old daughter and this major goal under her wing, and hopefully, having gained a little more wisdom in where and how she continues her life. I wish her the very best, much happiness, and the wings to fly where ever her heart and mind want to go.

Thanks for your continued support in my quest to find the cure, and promote the adult stem cell treatments.

I wish you all a relaxing and peaceful evening!!!
Peace and Light
et

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

2011-11-23T16:50:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to wish everyone a very blessed, loving, peaceful, and joyous Thanksgiving!!!

HT and I will spend a few hours with friends .... and I am recovering from a lingering infection from my surgery last month. I am very thankful for all my friends and loved ones who make me feel just that, LOVED!! For that I will be forever grateful for your friendships and love, and of course, all the laughs we have shared.

Peace and Light
et

Trivial Stats ...

2011-11-19T17:21:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone ...

While taking a break from my to-do list today, I am here checking to see the happenings of this past week in blog terms. The US was 1st in readers this past week with 35, and coming in 2nd, one of my all-time favorite places to visit, the Netherlands!! I was under the impression that stem cell treatments are being done in the Netherlands?? Anyone help me out with this information?? This is a place in which if I had a clue how I could do it, would relocate to this rich place of friendly people, beautiful scenery, rich in history and culture, just a great city was Amsterdam, I had such a wonderful time that I wished my trip could have lasted just a little bit longer. Although I speak no Dutch, and had a hard time understanding sometimes, the people were fun and friendly, and very helpful. Was just a beautiful place .... thank you to my friends abroad!!! <3

Top 5 were --- US; Netherlands; Romania; Germany, and Canada!!

I find this just amazing and awe-inspiring. I don't think I am anyone special. I am just a single mom, of a now adult daughter, trying to make it ... or at this point, I'm just trying to survive in a manner in which I am not losing any more of my already precious energy. Hoping that now that I find myself very much alone in my cocoon, the lil-one wanting to fly the nest (as she should) and no one to care for other then myself, that I should come to some sort of terms with what may or may not lie ahead for me. Currently, as in this moment, I am still not feeling right, spoke with the girl-child earlier and her and her nurse were trying to talk me into going into the ER. As noted in the earlier post, I apparently have a staph infection, those don't usually just go away with one course of antibiotic. All the issues I have had in regard to this latest removal of yet some more of me, I am just so beat up. This insurance company needs some serious renovations, just like the folks that contracted with them. I am just so tired, achy, weak, dizzier than my norm :D and odd ... and nothing is touching the pain of the deep areas of tissue. Oh well, I am currently sitting in the chaise with a cup of New England Cranberry Tea and heating my neck. Dog is actually on another piece of the furniture tonight, she has been right at my side, or on top of me, beside me, but always having contact since prior to my surgery. I hope that is a good sign ... either that or she is just pissed at me for not being able to sit still, not being able to get comfortable.

I wish I had a built in masseuse these days, and a jacuzzi ... I would be and could be, very content with those pieces of relief in my life .... and a few more bushes to ensure my privacy. Dreamin' .... I'm always dreaming.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
John Lennon

Wishing the world a peaceful evening.

Peace and Light, ... and serenity.

Not at my Best

2011-11-19T13:39:00.001-07:00

Good Saturday Afternoon;

I'm sorry I haven't made a post in a few days .... I haven't been at my best, and that is stating it mildly. I have been sick to my stomach now for almost 3 weeks. I saw the surgeon on Weds. morning, I thought for sure I would have been cut loose, however, it seems as though all that was drained from my incision is/was harboring a staph infection. Okay, well, I thought my gut issues, being dizzy, feeling like I just want to ... your know, RALPH!!? I have very little appetite as nothing tastes all that great, and my gut, is just so nauseated. I don't want to irritate it any more than it already is. The water factor is another issue. I was on a sulfur based antibiotic for 10 days, like being sucked dry from the inside out. Figured maybe these were just residual effects....?? My incision looks good, I thought .... however, I must return in one week. Okay, so now I am thinking, is this infection eradicated yet or what?? My hips, pelvic area, and lower back have this horrible ache to them, like that portion of my body weights about 10x what it should.

I've been trying to do some cleaning, rearranging, etc. We do have a holiday, a graduation, a holiday open house, etc .... maybe no one will show up .... I can finally see my living room again, my dad having passed 3 months ago yesterday! I still have belongings I am just not interested in keeping, have divided up some photos and things that brought back childhood memories of some sort and placed them in appropriate boxes for each sibling. I am no doubt going to pay for this as well. I have dished out more of my own $$ on this, that I think the rest of them can divide up any cremation costs and whatever else THEY want to do. I have my memories, and NO ONE can take those away from me. I hold them close, and they mean so much more than any piece of material possession. My mother made sure I had those prior to her passing. At this time of year, I find myself missing her OH so much. I could and would be so comforted to feel her close ... we had this hand holding thing .... so many of our photos together showing us holding each others hand.

Oh well ... As much as I know it happens to even the best, I am blue on so many fronts I can't see straight. I feel as I have just been spinning now for weeks and am going absolutely no where. My blood sugars have been sort of up and down, I think it is in part to stress at work, stress at home due to works inability to manage as proactive instead of reactive, and the constant rewarding of bad behaviors. I had my surgeon appointment, and a dermatology follow up on a few "spots" we have been watching for the past 6 months, being told the only one looking suspicious and presenting as classic basal cell skin cancer is right on my freakin' lower eye lid!!! Yes Sir, I want you hacking at what little face I have that remains presentable. I couldn't cope with the cut on Weds, so we will let this one ride .... 3 months was what I was given ... then it comes off ... I am in desperate need of a stemmie booster, and am really hoping and praying that it happens in the next couple of months, and perhaps .... right here in the US!!!

I need to try and move again, like I said, I'm not feeling right, and my blood pressure keeps dropping to where I get dizzy .... I'm taking it slow, but I need to take it now.

Wishing Everyone a wonderful weekend, a week of happy and safe travels ....
Remember to be thankful .... I have so much to be thankful for ... I just want to reflect on that at this time and prepare for what the future holds.

Peace and Light
et

My Balls have fallen ...

2011-11-11T10:51:00.001-07:00

OMG !!! BEWARE - IGNORANCE ABOUND!!!

Thought I would at least say something if I was going to scream. :)

Recap - check last post titled "WOW."
This past week, and a short one at that, has been pure and total hell. I know I have been dealing with some pretty stressful shit in my own life. At work, as stated earlier, I in all reality came back to a mess due to others not doing and/or caring about how thier tasks directly affect other's job duties, causing delays, .... and a few other things as well. Piss-poor management .... (sorry, this post my become heated with no real notice ... hehehe). I have had a day or so to let the ultimate effects of the happenings this week when on Wednesday I was ready to pack my boxes and all the shit I have that is mine in the office due in part to ... inadequate working conditions. This is so not funny, however, I was working in a basement @ the hospital and freezing my ass off for 8+ hours a day for a year and no one gave a shit if I was cold. More than 1 co-worker began complaining ... or as it became by Tuesday...constant bitching. I sit right behind the front desk, in an enclosed office with another. I had not only the door closed, but my headphones into my iPod and I could still her bitchin' through the glass. This turned into 4+ hours of people convening outside our office door. PEOPLE!!!! Ok .. you get the picture. On Wednesday morning I came in to an email stating was going to be paid for only a certain amount of hours because I apparently ran out of EIT time with no notification. This was an issue that I had thought of, and it wasn't like the "uppers" didn't know the situation, i.e., not only my close coworkers, but my supervisor, and the illustrious "OZ" (this is my latest visual, you know, Oz, blowing smoke up your ass from behind the curtain??). I put in for my time as recommended by the surgeon, I had the note x2 due to the infection and then being out another week, and now restricted until 11/17 (yes, that is a week away!) This email states at 7:55 PM the night before, that my check will be short this week. "Just wanted you to have a heads up." "A HEADS UP!!!" Sorry folks, but less than 12 hours prior to payday IS NOT a heads up, it is more like a think quick!!! When I responded to the almighty Oz, I had an attitude, I was pissed to put it mildly. EVERY single time I have had to deal with Oz for the past year-to-14 months she pulls some two-faced move on myself and a couple of others I know of personally. I apparently know more than I care too. In any event, with the already late 1st of the month bills, I only took home less than half of what a normal pay period looks like, putting me not only behind at work, but 2 months behind in reality at home as well. What made me go off was not only my continuing recovery (although physically better this week), but all the petty complaining of the same scenarios, same characters, MAJOR lack of, if any, communication, and ... NO change ... it's like watching Ground Hogs Day ... 100 times in a row. Sorry, but I don't think too many people would find it remained as amusing after so many repeats. Redundant, and sucking the morale out of those left that have been continually cleaning up the messes. When the problems are staring you right in the face, and you have facts to back them up, consequences should be paid. I know, hands down, I irritate some people, however, I also know, that if people ENJOY coming to work, they do a good job, excel, etc. I have given more than a 100% of my healthy time to this place, know that as a support member of the docs/NP/techs/counselors, you get it .... you have all heard the term, "shit rolls downhill"? .... and then the clincher .... and all I know was this email came in just as I was leaving on Wednesday from what I would refer to as a "rent-a-doc". This 30-something ,high maintained little 'dahktah' ... LMAO ... had the class of a highly-educated professional, to in one line, take me down like I hadn't been taken down since I was married!!! You have heard me write before, I don't care what sort of initials you have after your name, there is no need to talk down to people. I try not to do this, and I try to do this by keeping things comfortable. I am not a "Stepford" worker, or human being either. I have a life, lame as it may be for some, I don't need this mentality from a person I am too show up for work for to SUPPORT and she is calling me "arrogant."

What can I say??.. she pushed my last dying button. I shot off a snotty little one liner myself to the people she felt are going take care of me. She wants no more communication with the "arrogant transcriptionist!" BITE ME BIMBALINA, I'm the coder!!! I was seething at this point. I haven't been the pissed/which in reality was a deep, deep hurt. For the 1st time in many years, yes, even with disagreements in relationships, have I been spoken to in such a tone ... and a doctor to boot. I admire your education, you may know a whole lot more than I, however, your words were harsh for someone you only met for 30 seconds and feel you are "entitled," ROFLMAO ..... yep, I am laughing now. I live by, and have raised my daughter, that respect is a 2-way street. This provider started with a clean slate, she messed up, she messed up again, and again, each time becoming more demanding, i.e., this is how I do it, it's approved by Harvard, BFD!!! .... (Hello, she has no idea Harvard is my neck of the woods ... hehehe..... for all I know Hillary's baby stroller is still hanging off the little walking bridge there in Harvard square. :D

Let me tell you all a little secret, and I think some out there may even affirm this statement .... I may have been born and raised in a small mill town, and my parents my have been considered "blue-collar" workers, my parents, more my mother, made sure that we understood respect and manners. No, I don't always have manners when I state things so crudely at times, call it my rough edge. Everyone who knows me will tell you I try to appear as though I have a very hard, tough outer shell. Well, I am born under the sign of the Crab, and my mother often told me that it was totally appropriate for me. :) I do like to believe that people are good, but this was just one more example of poor management, unethical and down-right mean demands on those who are you main back bone under the providers. I am tired of being treated like a doormat, again, not having felt like this since the early 90's. I swore that I would never become a victim of that again, I don't care if you are male OR female.

Let's wrap this up, I need to get off the box ... hehehe....I am off today, praise the Gods!! With the exception of 2 side job projects which need to be completed and sent off. Then I am going to do some cleaning as we (a friend came over to help Hilly) moved some furniture around last night, I had to supervise as Nurse Ratchet was in the house. :) She is still looking out for me despite me telling her it's all lookin' good. She doesn't want me to push it, understood, however, I need to keep me as busy as possible and get all this stuff accomplished in time, 4 weeks from yesterday ... lol... she is totally stoked. Apparently my friends, who also work with me, have decided I am depressed, and yet another one on the band wagon of "your life sucks!" .... all in good humor of course, but I think they are right. I can't even keep track anymore lately ... time for some more stemmies.

Ok kids, I need to go "prick" as I am feeling 'fuzzy' and I get the impression that perhaps I wandered a bit in my thoughts and expression the last couple of paragraphs. I do know I used NO real names, and no places .... LMAO ....

Forgive me ... it's how I felt.

Wishing everyone a great weekend.
Thank a Veteran and/or an active military member for the right to speak like this out in Cosmo.

Peace and Light ... and respect!!!
et

WOW

2011-11-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hey Folks,

I have had quite a week and it's only Tuesday!!
Work was unbelievable when I returned to the office last week. I was completely caught up when I left for my surgery and as usual, someone else feels that what their job may be doesn't affect anyone else. GGGRRR ..... needless to say, I am now behind almost two months!!! I was not the happiest of campers upon return to find all that, and on top of that, withing 15 minutes after arriving was thrown into a 3 hour meeting that I was unprepared for. The usual ........ seems like all we ever hear is lip service. I am trying to just take it as it comes. I can only do so much in a 6 hour day, being on restriction until the 17th when I see the surgeon again. (it does appear and certainly feels a LOT better). Like that wasn't enough "job duties" were added to my already overloaded day. I do a lot of shaking of my head lately.

On another note, my baby girl is about to graduate on 12/10 with her nursing degree. I am so incredibly proud of her for the commitments she has taken, the sacrifices she has made, the losses she has suffered since graduating high school and working so hard for the past 3 1/2 years... she has finally made her goal a reality. At least the main part of her goal ... hehehe .... she plans on continuing her education but wants to take a year or two to get her hands dirty. I have no doubts she has what it takes to be a real driving force in the field of medicine. I am just hoping she stops a little now and then to enjoy life. She so deserves a few positive happenings for all she has put forth into the world, the community, ME .... and all the help she was caring for my parents with me. She is going to be one kick-ass nurse!!!

Ok kids, well ... it's past my bedtime, I just got my laptop back up and running after Maggie put me out of commission for a week feeling the need to lie across my lap and slamming her big head down, and not so gracefully, onto my keyboard. Not sure what she hit, but I had to reconfigure all my network settings, etc for my laptop. Someone apparently forget to tell her that she is NOT a lap dog!! (She sits right here to my left, and she seems to always have to have contact.) She is 70 pounds of pure lovin' .... but doesn't have to be on my lap. :D I'm the master, and she stays close, sometimes trouble-causing close.

On that note ... lol......(thinking I should come up with some other phrases), I am taking my dog and going to bed. I need to get my rest as I am still sort of wiped out when I get home and the child thinks I am doing too much too soon, I disagree, I just need to take care of me, and I have always pushed myself. As I age, I do know I can't go nonstop anymore, pacing myself is still an issue ... I want it done ... NOW. :P

Sweet dreams my friends!!
Take care of YOU!!
Peace and Light
et

It's never ending

2011-11-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

Hello WebWorld!!

Well, the human body continues to amaze me. However .... I could and would be more than happy to be amazed using someone else's body as the vessel of amazement!!! This past Tuesday morning, after being told by surgeons office last Thursday, to "massage it" for the weekend and see what happens. "Swelling is normal." Not like this pal... there is NOTHING normal about the swelling I was trying to cope with ... and OMG .. the pain was something I don't think I have ever experienced. The sensations were hard to describe. In any event, I had that date with the BFN (Big F'in Needle) on Tuesday morning, and despite my anxiety about the BFN with no local, I did just fine and the relief was almost immediate when he drained the excessive amount of fluid and proceeded to tell me that I was "infected." Since that appointment I have returned to work hours a day for two weeks. Sitting and/or standing for more than a couple to three hours at a time is just too much. There is still swelling, bruising is clearing up, and the ache seems to be subsiding slightly. Hopefully, after the antibiotic run, things will be looking up.

With all this going on, and my limited ability to push, pull, or lift anything more than 5 pounds, it has made wiping out the remaining mess from my parent's belongings, thus holding me in limbo as to weather I want to have our open house/grad party here at the house, or get a hall and haul stuff all over the county. All this is coming up quickly. Thanksgiving, graduation, I have a weekend to Vegas on the books. and then Christmas ... I guess ... that given there will be no one here this year except for Hillary and I, the holidays will have to become something of a new tradition as what my mother was able to accomplish in this respect isn't something I think I could replicate. So it will be a holiday season of no doubt, reflection, sadness, memories of holidays gone by, and a method of moving forward, to take these memories and put them to the best possible use for us. I have discovered, that it is not all about family, but that of the friends and loved ones who make us feel loved throughout the year, that we rejoice in our love for each other and continue to grow in our relationships. I am still a big fan of those sorts of romanticized relationships, if you will, closeness that is felt between people, for whatever reason.

With the kickoff to the holiday season, let's remember not to forget ourselves. Take care of us, heart and soul, mind and body .... there is nothing worth risking our health or well-being for, and money can't buy us that.

For now, wishing the world a wonderful weekend!!

Peace and Light
et

Book of the month club ... ???

2011-10-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

G'evening!!

I'm not feeling so great with this lymph node missing and being told to "massage it" .... which I have been, but it hurts like hell!!! Pain meds don't seem to be touching this, so I stopped taking them and reverted back to some homeopathic methods that I know work (for me anyway). Today I put a Castor oil wrap in the area and applied some heat, and then did the massage thing. Only problem I am finding out is that if I am up walking around, or sitting, for too long (like 2 1/2 hours is what I made today) the pain and swelling become excruciatingly painful. I did a little research last night and will massage with some essential oils to help break up the toxin build up of lymph fluid to help it disperse within my body. (It beats the BFN!!) It is just draining when there are so many other things I could be doing that would be considered productive. Flat on my back with my leg elevated to massage a large "package," as my loving daughter has now nicknamed it, is not my idea of fun. I have one more day to get this down or I have to call the surgeon again on Monday, the day I am suppose to go back to work.

Oh well .... onto some stuff I have stumbled upon. I am not usually a promoter of things I haven't tried, but the following link was within a news article I read today on MSN ... it may not be directly associated with adult stem cell research, treatment, etc., but it is on the same lines in my opinion. Our US Government has held back the scientists of America and until we make our voice one and take back what is ours, we will see no advancement for our once mightier than thou country that not only we, but our forefathers, ancestors, and others have brought with them to make us that super power. We have lost our edge in the area of science. SO ... I am going to pick up this book this week ..... if anyone else should read it, I would love to get a dialogue going. I know I am not the only person who feels the way I do. Too many of our elderly, chronically ill, mentally ill, etc. are being sucked dry when the science to make a real difference is within our reach. I don't get it.....?????? But I figure I will check it out.

http://shawnotto.com/foolmetwice/

Wishing everyone a wonderful evening and a relaxing Sunday (my heat bag is ready to roll again :)

Peace and Light
et

Hump Day

2011-10-26T10:16:00.001-07:00

Morning Folks!!!

I just found this article in my email. A follow-up so-to-speak on the young man who made headlines back in July with the stem cell treatment he had for tracheal cancer. Cool stuff .. and this just makes good sense in my opinion. Let's use what we already have to help those afflicted with these diseases rather than kill us off slowly with high priced drugs, and antirejection drugs will kill us in the end anyway. I guess this is the question I have been asking myself every time I have to undergo a procedure, prescribed a new drug, etc. I try and weigh the pros and cons. How many commercials have we seen on the TV where the statement "serious and sometime fatal effects have been noted." Really, (this next statement is humorous in my opinion), i.e., a gentleman has erectile problems (we see it multiple times a day on media), now, if I were a man, I am not sure I would risk "death" for a hard on!! I know of a couple of men who have taken things like Viagra who have heart issues and suffered a stroke, but lets prescribe a pill so he can get it on at the risk of (yes, this happened) he falls and passes out in the shower afterward. Sorry kids, I see no real sense in this either. There are other ways to alter the physical love part without a pill.

That is my rant for this morning .... lol .... enjoy the read.

http://www.themarknews.com/articles/7180-stem-cell-innovation-saves-lives

Have a wonderful day!!

Peace and Light
et

More information on Stem Cell status

2011-10-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

This site has some pretty good information as to where the stem cell status sits, and covers multiple areas of application.

http://www.ascrnetwork.com/

They are associated with the Cell Therapy Foundation (a link I posted the other day).

Enjoy .... and let's get the word out there, we WANT this!!

Good Evening and a Happy Hump day for tomorrow.

Peace and Light
et

WONDERFUL OUTCOME !!

2011-10-25T10:59:00.001-07:00

Good Day to All!!

I have some very relieving news just in this morning. On my post surgical follow up appointment, which was bumped up from Monday due to a good sized accumulation of lymph fluid, I was told that the pathology reports did not indicate ANY CANCER!!!! It was like a huge boulder had been lifted off my shoulders, and with any luck, my gut will calm down over the next couple of days. I can't help but believe that the power of prayer, and good vibes in which are sent to me from around the world also plays a major role.

Thank you all for your positive vibes, it is a gift in which I have no real words to describe my gratitude.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day!!!!
Peace and Light
et

Is this normal ... ??

2011-10-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

Afternoon All,

I have been done most of the day. I didn't sleep well at all last evening, and have been in bed most of the day. My blood sugars have been exceptionally high the past 3-4 days and I spent the morning trying to make calls and figure out why? I have changed my site twice in the past 3 days, usually changing out every 3 days, problem continues. I have had very little to eat since surgery, a lot of water trying to flush out this high streak. I called the pump people this morning, told them of what was going on and the fact that my pump has been cracked and not holding a real charge. I will have a replacement in the morning. In the meantime, I have had to continue with additional injections on top of what my pump should be infusing. I really am at a loss. I also had to talk with the surgeon's office this morning due to a VERY large lump in the area of my incision. I am told that it could be fluid in which will and/or may have to be drained in the morning when I have my appointment and get pathology results. Can you say nauseated??

Ok ... that is it for now, I don't feel well, am going to feed the dog and lay back down.

Peace, Light and a relaxing evening to all.
et

My life is changing ...

2011-10-23T18:58:00.001-07:00

.... in some wonderful ways!!!

This entire time period over the last 2 1/2 to 5 years has presented itself with some very life changing happenings. I have lost both my parents, the only relatives I had living out here in AZ, an aunt and uncle, within 6 months of each other; another uncle, a couple of friends, a favorite brother-in-law, and my ex-husband. Each one of these losses came in a way that seemed like it was one right after another without a lot of time in between to get over the loss, to grieve, it was ..... look ... look hard, remember, and cherish all those moments. Good, bad, happy, sad, light-hearted, and deep, like death and dying. I have had some wonderful experiences within these heart breaking happenings. My mother's death will be one of the most poignant experience I may ever have. (I have been working on this chapter for my book). I can't help but believe, she is still with me, and she is cheering her ass off currently, even as life continues to throw it's stop-sticks in my way, i.e., the latest surgery and its still waited on outcome. However, where my health has taken me in just the past 2 years since losing her physically, my life has had some pretty amazing shit happen!!! ..... LOL .... sorry, there really is no other way to phrase it. I believe, I feel, that my life is about to change for the better, in a way that I have no idea how I will deal with it. I am sorry to say, that this experience with the travel expenses, the newspaper articles, the knowledge that I have shared with what some say is a huge deal, I still feel very small. I have been described recently as just someone who can't lie about what has transpired within me since my stem cell treatment, and the people that have become friends and advocates just knowing I "tell it like it is." I have never considered myself a "science geek", but I have always been totally awed by the biology/physiological aspect in regard to the human body. It amazes me some of the happenings the human body can bounce back from. Now ... add the passions of those people put to huge, global difference....??? That is a lot to think about. I read, and I read, and I scan, medical sites, research sites, bio-technical sites, social media sites, news and journals of medicine. There is some pretty amazing research going on in this country, and if you would all be kind enough to check out the attached link and listen to a couple of the little videos in which Dick Van Dyke has volunteered his time ( makes me wonder if perhaps adult stem cell treatment was not a part of his recent spine surgery???).

I want to be part of this science break through, I want to prove if to no one but myself, that I can make a difference, I will make a difference .... and the Angels will cheer!!!! A couple of those folks are with me in my heart, always will be ... because they "got it", they got me, they knew what made me tick, they knew what I dealt with on a day to day, minute to minute basis ... and yet they still loved me and lived life with me and for that I am forever grateful for the lessons in which I learned while they were here, and since their passing. Powerful stuff people, and it humbles me.

http://www.celltherapyfoundation.org/

Enjoy the information on the web page attached .... the science is here, and we need to make it part of our health care now .... not when "they" decide .... for the better good of ALL people.

Have a wonderful week!!!

Peace and Light
et

Rest, Rest ... Rest is boring

2011-10-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Good Evening to All!!

As I sit here, eyes half closed, I am thinking how boring this past week has been. I have done pretty much nothing but rest, I find this a depressing, boring act. I felt great Monday afternoon and Tuesday. I was up walking around most of the afternoon on Monday (day of surgery). Since I took the compression bandage off, I just feel weird, tired, and my hips are sore. I have few bruises. Odd, but it was one of my better surgical episodes, and was all good on Monday. The karma was all around flowing positively. I moved up my follow up appointment from November 1, to this upcoming Tuesday. If I am cleared I will go back to work on Wednesday rather than a week from. I am bored, and at least if I "have" to go somewhere, I will get out of the house. After talking with the nurse yesterday she said pathology reports had not yet been received, but she "will try and have them for the appointment, but he won't let you go back to work until he sees how you are doing." Okay ... I can live with that. I know how to play the game, just let me go and do something ..... I can't do yard work and moving stuff around hasn't been in the cards either. So I will, again, be turning in early with my book and my freshly bathed dog!! Yes, Hillary and I took Maggie into town for some beauty treatment this morning and spent a couple of hours walking around the mall. I kept telling her to slow down as I felt like she was running (she wasn't, I just couldn't keep the pace as my hip area was sore).

With all that being said, things are tight. I don't like the smothering feeling of things being so tight. I am trying hard to just keep an even pace and just let the wave ride. What else can I do? I can only do so much, that which is within my own power, other than that, it's up to the "Big Guy" and, I don't know, the stars? fate? destiny? Take your pick ....

All this news that is on the television is depressing. Missing and abused children, misguided so-called adults, dictators who are dead, and now the UN wants an investigation....Really?? Does anyone really care "how" he died? At the hands of his own people, who HE has been killing for 40+ years. Sorry folks, unfortunately, I see this as the cost of war. Karma can be a bitch, but this would seem to be one of those clear cases of "what goes around, comes around." Personally, I think he got off easy for the destruction and delusional behaviors he exhibited. I wish the people well in a new world, many never having known anything other than that iron fist mentality.

As I lay my head down this evening, I pray for peace, health, and contentment for all in the world. I am a person who enjoys learning about other cultures, religions, customs and beliefs, I wish many more had that same outlook as there is so much to learn, see, enjoy and cultivate. Life is an interesting ride, shouldn't we try and find a way to play nice together, if for no other reason than being kind to our fellow man??

So many lessons to learn, so little time to learn them in.

Wishing everyone a peaceful evening and a joyous, safe weekend!!

Peace and Light
et

A couple of really good reads ...

2011-10-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

While I am napping .... hahaaha ....
I took the compression bandage of a bit ago, took me 20 minutes in the shower due to, in large part, a REALLY bad "haircut!" LOL .... I should teach a class is surgical shave techniques. I think I would call this a "Brazilian-Mohawk" .... (yes, I am laughing loudly)

Anyway ... am a little lightheaded now so I am going in to take a nap and elevate my freshly exposed incision, which looks fabulous. Given the size approximately 3 1/2 inches, it is clean and looks great for 48 hours post-op. My stemmies have had to work overtime in the healing department, however, I feel I still have some going strong.

Check out the two links below. Both incredible reads and the DRI is making progress, but you will see that this man is fighting a loosing battle without our help being held up with the politics of it all. The Wake Forest article is just a touch of what is going on down there and the amazing progress that is being made in the "cures" not just the treatment of symptoms..... and without the side effects, because, again, THEY BELONG TO US!!!

http://www.laduenews.com/articles/2011/10/15/living/wellness/doc4e854cae16d34136207186.prt

http://www.wakehealth.edu/Research/WFIRM/Our-Story/Our-Story.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Light
et

Surgery went well

2011-10-18T11:10:00.002-07:00

Hello All!!

Surgery went exceptionally well. We wait now for pathology results.

I am off to nap and I will update in more detail when I feel a little more alert.

Thanks for the prayers, good wishes, love and friendship!!

Peace and Light
et

PS: A special message to my reader Janet .... I wish you the ULTIMATE best in your outcome!! I will be thinking of you come Weds. morning .... until then rest and relax, you are in good hands. et

A personal request from a reader

2011-10-15T13:19:00.001-07:00

Good Afternoon .... wow .... 3 posts in one day!!!

Per a personal request from one of my new readers, I am going to post my email address for anyone who may want to ask questions in a more private mode as opposed to posting on the WWW.

I will do my best to answer any questions put to me at elizatyler5@gmail.com

Thanks again to ALL who read, comment, and I am always open to questions and comments. Stemmies are MY future ... will you be part of the journey? I hope when people see and hear, from real, everyday people the amazing results being seen with this sort of treatment, that there are too many citizens from the everyday walk of life, would rather have this available than medication in which the potential side effects are 5x what the original problem may be ... we have made the pharmaceutical companies billions of dollars, how about we ask for our lives back WITHOUT the side effects and poorly overseen pharmaceuticals to just manage symptoms.

Something to think about.

In good health!!!
Peace and Light
et

Saturday Morning Chuckle ...

2011-10-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

I think this is going to be my new mantra .... hahahahaha .... this is too true for reality.

Enjoy!!!

I think this is just too right-on!!! There isn't anything wrong with me .... LOL ....

Peace and Light
et

One Hurdle Down ...

2011-10-14T17:49:00.001-07:00

Good Evening Everyone!!

... and a happy Friday!!! I didn't think this week was EVER going to end. Too much hitting this house to deal with all at once. But .... in my usual "can't keep a good...down" mantra .... hahaha...I have tried to remain positive, that although I am still at a loss as to what I am dealing with, it is basically out of my hands at this point. I got my biopsies back that were done by the GYN ... we dodged a bullet on this one as it is only "mild" this time around. Meaning that we are only at the cellular changes and stress is a known contributor ..... so I continue to breathe deep with my shoulders back. I can deal with this, and we have a couple of options in which to make it good again. I will be re-checked in 3 months.

On to Monday .... I must arrive at the hospital at 7:30 with surgery scheduled for 9:45 lasting ... approximately 60-90 minutes .... ok ... not anything I haven't done, what seems like a hundred times already, it must be this way. We won't know what we are dealing with until the surgeon gets in there, and decides "how much is taken out." With that last little blurt stems much anxiety, but I keep telling myself, keep the faith, believe in that which is bigger than I. I have stated before, I am just a speck in the big picture of things. I like my "speck" to shine ... LOL ... even in these situations. Yes, I will not lie, I am anxious, I don't like not knowing. I like to see where things start, and follow them through, and I want to KNOWhow it all works along the way. When I find myself in these sorts of situations, I remove myself to some extent from the things that make me drift to dark spots. Now, don't get me wrong, I have had a living will in place for years .... LOL .... I know my risks, and the last thing I want is to leave my baby with a bigger mess to clean up than we already have here. I would like to think I will leave her better off in some ways, but neither one of us is ready to make this reality just yet. As long as I retain my "fight" I have the upper hand in my own outcome. I did make a really bad mistake this afternoon after leaving the doctor's office with my results and stopped to get my hair trimmed ..... BAD IDEA!!!! I am now ... short again .... really short. I got home, glared at the girl-child and just said, "yeah, yeah, I know ...." I guess I will be re-inventing myself again ... heheheheheh ..... it's only hair, but my vision will never come to reality until those who do this job, define "trim." Its like turning on the weed-whacker and just letting it go on its own. I have the product to make it work ... hahaha ... and with hat season right around the corner, it will be fine for a few months, and way-easy for post surgery head!!!

Ok my friends, I have a lot to accomplish before Sunday evening so I recuperate comfortably. I will post soon, and let you know how it is going. Thank you to all who send good vibes, prayers, and comforting thoughts. I very much appreciate all the love!!!!

Be well and have a wonderful weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et

Just a lazy Saturday afternoon ...

2011-10-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!

Haven't been doing much, slowly. I haven't felt so great the last few days. I'm not sure if it is fall allergies (this was the time of year I got sick last year, for 4 months) or the fact that the temps dropped what feels like 30 degrees in the last couple of days. In any event, I have had a sore throat and am just completely exhausted and achy. I am hoping for LOTS of sleep in the time I will be home recouping from my surgery which is scheduled for a week from Monday.

This afternoon I decided to take Maggie (the lazy looking furry creature in the picture above) to the dog park. Was a good ride in as she loves to ride, and then after about 20 minutes of playing frisbee and catching some other dog's squeaky toy, we were tossed out by the apparently new force of the doggie patrol. I spewed laughter when this over-sized (height) woman with her walkie-talkie, baseball hat and really bad aviator sunglasses approached me ... with her dog on a leash, and told me "it's the law .... you can't bring treats into the park. it causes tension between the dogs." I couldn't contain myself, she was so serious .... I had to laugh. First, I always have a baggie with little cookies in it for Maggie, and sometime other dogs, but not unless their owners are close and say it is ok. I was talking with an elderly couple whose dog was perched very nonaggressively at my feet, they were petting Maggie at the time of the encounter. I was a little irritated with this doggie douche bag .... so I decided to leave and left our new frisbee behind. I guess we will be looking for other means of play as I won't take her back there!!! I don't need that crap when there are people that show up and don't pay any attention to their dogs ... those are the ones I see starting the aggressive encounters. We have been going to this same park since she was a puppy, almost 3 years now. Anyway ... what I thought would be some quality play time turned into me calling Maggie a "Bad Ass Dog" .... and we came home, laughing and loving the entire ride. Now me and my trouble making cohort are sacked out here on the couch again .... LOL.

Basically, I have just been weeding through boxes, cleaning out my closets, rearranging some of the furniture and getting rid of a lot all the crap we rarely use, don't really need, and just collects dust ... or in our case, dog hair.

So, Maggie and I are getting ready to wind down and chill out for the evening. It is getting a little chilly at night and I am trying hard NOT to turn the heat on yet. Maggie is real good about keeping my feet warm ... she likes to lay across the bottom of my legs, she is the worlds biggest couch potato and I love her.

Wishing everyone a restful weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et

6000+

2011-10-07T13:26:00.002-07:00

My blog page has hit 6000+!!!!

I have readers from all over the world and that excites me tremendously. To my friends and extended family who continue to follow me thanks for always keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
Thanks to all who read continuously and for all those new people that come along!!!

Knowledge is power!!

Enjoy the weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et

One more for tonight ...

2011-10-05T19:29:00.002-07:00

http://www.cbs42.com/content/health/story/New-Genes-Associated-With-Type-1-Diabetes/ri_K45M4VEGQ9GHbGrpA0A.cspx

Excellent stuff!!!!
This is the level that has taken years to make it to the forefront .... let's let them move forward already.

Have a good night everyone!!
et

Very Interesting Read

2011-10-05T19:15:00.001-07:00

The below link is to an article looking at the relationship between diabetes and cancer.
The theory is right on .... but I am hoping that for me, currently, this article could be a little off .... hahaha ... continuing to hope.

Really .... serious science going on here and I find it fascinating. I never thought of myself as a science geek before, but my daughter says it is clearly evident.

http://www.cbs42.com/content/health/story/Cancer-and-Diabetes-A-Shared-Biological-Basis/7mJS6jISo0aHqboMVW30dA.cspx

Enjoy the evening!!
Peace and Light
et

A Major scientific loss ....

2011-10-03T19:51:00.002-07:00

This is such a loss to the world of science and medicine.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44755546/ns/health-health_care/

Promising discoveries!!!
Peace and Light
et

Isn't Life Strange ....

2011-10-03T17:44:00.000-07:00

I have some very strange stuff going on in my life .... preop testing in the morning ... fasting tonight .... trying hard to keep things in perspective, starting to really suck having a nursing student in the house, like my nerves aren't already shot. Stars are calling me early tonight ♥

Sweet Dreams to all!!
Peace & Light
et

Mentalpause ....

2011-10-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

Good Sunday Morning!!!

I am just going to make a quick update.
My blood sugars remain exceptionally stable, with a few potential lows (which are being caught). On Tuesday I go in for pre-op testing and will have my A1c drawn as well seeing as my endocrine appointment is sometime this month. I was told a few weeks ago that my ovaries have shut down .... bahda bing!! That explains some of the stuff that has been going on, but not all of it. I'm thinking I came through that phase pretty good, LMAO ... like almost unknowingly as they told me back when I was 35-36 I was in early stage of "mentalpause." As many of you know, these natural hormonal changes we go through effect our lives in different ways, now add those changes to an already existing endocrine disease and you could have potential chaos. If I had to rate between menopause and adolescents, I would take menopause ... LOL.... call it experience if you want. I remember adolescents as pure hell on so many levels, hormones going up and down, in turn blood sugars respond making for some real "moody" situations.

In any event, this week will have me busy at work, not unusual. Hopefully getting some info on TWO new ventures, and continuing to weed through the home mess, which by the way, has my back in major spasm mode from moving boxes, unpacking, repacking, and trashing. I will be so relieved when this task is done and I can honestly make it final having gone through my stages of grief and knowing I did the very best I could to make sure my parents were made to be comfortable in their final days. I am human too, I did what others didn't have the heart, manhood, maturity, etc to do for their own parents. That in and of itself, blows me away ..... always will ..... I don't understand and part of me doesn't want to. We have a future ... uncertain currently for me, but I remain hopeful for a very interesting future doing things that I know I can make a difference with, and I am keeping that dream in my sights.

I would like to wish everyone a wonderful week .... be kind to yourself.
I will be in touch as we get closer to surgery date ... I have some pre-surgical nerves, but it is the recovery process I am most concerned with as this may be "routine" to some, it is not for me and therefore my recovery based on my aging has me concerned. My nursing student daughter also reiterated the statement that this "will not be pleasant."

Peace and Light
et

2011-10-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon Folks!!

Just taking a few minutes to check in. It's been a really long week. It is beginning to feel like I don't know when one day ends and another begins, that is the sort of exhausting fluff going on. Work is work, and more often than not, too much flippin' drama. I too often find myself just shaking my head ... I just don't want to be part of poor business practices. So it has really been taking it out of me to show up and give the best parts of my day to be unappreciated, over-worked, take on more with less, etc. We all know how that story goes, right?? HT and I are both down-in-the-dumps for apparently what most are saying is a natural process. I would agree if there wasn't SO much "life" going on at the same time. I don't know if you call if cosmic garbage, space junk, depression, or what .... I just know I am feeling very odd these days. I can't wait to get home at night so I can go to sleep .... hahaha .... I have been trying to get through all this material BS that still invades my home. I want my home back, I want my own comfort zone re-established. I have always been the "dreamer" and lately .... OMG ..... these phases are becoming almost preoccupying ... lol. I know we all dream, but, I don't always remember my dreams and lately, I have been having some real whammies.... and remembering them. Dangers of a woman who thinks with both sides of her brain ... hahahaha .... sometime I feel like one of those commercials where the angel is on one shoulder and the devil on the other.

Anyway ... ET is slightly preoccupied with the upcoming surgery and the outcome of what is involved and without a doubt, my recovery. I am a little nervous here folks. I have come to far to give up yet. I think what has me most concerned currently is just coming out of the anesthesia. The last couple of times I have been put under I haven't come out as well as I always did ... sounds like another "getting older" scenarios.

I think I just need to wait and see what happens and not wear myself out worrying about the "what ifs."
So with that being said .... the wash needs to be put in the dryer, the trash taken out, some more crap to be packed. I am enjoying being alone today .... sort of. .... the "girls" are napping in the other room. :)

Hoping that everyone is enjoying the beautiful fall weekend!!

Peace and Light
et

The human side ...

2011-09-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone ... I hope this post finds everyone enjoying their Sunday.

It has been a LONG weekend for me. I think it is in part due to the fact I am sort of preoccupied with the multiple situations going on at one time in my life (so what else is new, right?). My blood sugar remains exceptionally stable in spite of this, only a couple of spikes (I am pretty sure this was my own stupidity, not having bolused square-wave after correcting a low), a constant juggling act!!! Sometime I feel like all my balls are in the air, and other times, I feel like someone tossed in some extra balls and I just can't keep them all up....LOL.

I have been typing as I had two tapes do for my side job. I wanted to get some other work done, but it just wasn't in me and therefore I will be using some more of my PTO. One day .... (BIG DREAM HERE) I hope to actually take some time off from all work and go someplace I can totally disappear ... in the sense that I can park my happy ass on a shoreline with my hat, sunglasses and a trashy book for a change ... hehehehe ... sad part is, I'm not really into trashy reading. I need to find my ocean spot and cleanse my soul. (Many of you know I use the ocean like some go to church). The sounds, smells, and calming effect of the tides has a way of giving me some new perspective. You know, that I am only a small part of the big picture and I need to regenerate ... in more ways than one. Anyway .... it has been pretty quiet around here with just me, the dog, and my thoughts for the future. HT works most weekends and is house sitting, so I haven't seen her since Friday morning. I have much hope for my future despite the recent medical hits and uncertainty. I hope to be able to share some "career" changing happenings this week. This offer has made me one happy pup!! It has been some news that is keeping me positive currently as my ability to touch others and make a real difference on the educational front has me on cloud 9. Who would have ever thought this about me ... LOL .... ??? It humbles me to think that so many of you out there, and on my "home front" that there is something special about me ... I am really just doing the best I can with situations that present themselves and want others to have the same opportunities to overcome. I certainly hope that my quest for good health and the methods in which I chose to accomplish this, is making a difference. Don't give up hope on this science and the power of the human spirit.... it is all part of the play book.

Yesterday I purchased 5 good size boxes .... yes, one for each sibling ... my goal is within the next few weeks I am able to get through the crap crawling the walls in my home, pack up what they may want to fight over, donate the rest, and get my home and my life back, or maybe ... just begin to live a life of my own. This has been a very weird transition period as I can't remember when I didn't have someone to take care of. Now I only have myself ... and of course, I will always be the mom to my baby girl, but she is about to venture off on her own and with that, comes my need to sort of disconnect the cord .. LOL ... I will never cut it, and she has stated the same.... LOL.

Ok kids ... I have tasks to complete, and "multi" wasn't part of yesterdays happenings. I think I made a bigger mess than was already here. It is one thing to see all these boxes, it is a completely different scenario to spread what is in the boxes around. I just keep telling myself ... this too shall pass so plug on.

Enjoy the day!!!
Peace and Light
et

Again ... we take the good with the bad ...

2011-09-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

G'Evening web world!!!

Ok .. .going to try and make this a quick, news packed post, like always, flying over more than one. At the end of the post, check out this weeks latest press release regarding celebrity stem cell treatments. So many great things are starting to happen. I SO am looking forward to undergoing the treatment again, if all goes well perhaps sometime in January 2012. I can't tell you how much I am hoping for 2012 to be the ultimate in life changing years. Maybe it's age, I am after all 48 years old now!!!! I think I have more than exceeded that doctor who stated in 1972 that "this kid will be lucky if she sees 21." Thats 27 flipping more than they predicted ..... ahhhhh if I only knew then, what I know now. However, there are many aspects of my life I wouldn't change for a minute, like being the mother of one of the most incredible creatures I have ever encountered .... she amazes me every single day. This is making the "cutting of the cord" a little more difficult lately as she has a young man in her life. I had no idea that this was what happens when a daughter moves on. It rips at my heart, but in a good way. I know this is sort of like growing pains all over again ... LOL.... for me!!! He has been very supportive of her in many aspects of our chaotic existence in recent years, months, weeks, ..... life.... isn't it grand!!!

On my health front, overall, I am feeling pretty good. I have been exhausted the past month. Not sleeping great, my house is a rubble zone, which doesn't promote good sleep..... LOL ... even poor Maggie looks at me as if to say "what are going to do with all this shit??" "I want my pillow back!!" .... lol ... if she could speak ... oh, the stories she could tell you. Yesterday, I finally got some sort of answer on the lymph node. I will be undergoing surgery to remove it on 10/17. Apparently, this surgeon DID see something on the first CT scan, yet my report stated "No abnormal findings." .....all I could think was WTF!!! He was then able to pull my ultrasounds from the hospital database and .... wait for it ..... COMPARE THEM!!! Well, imagine my awe when he states that it has grown and that he would remove it and then have "whatever it is analyzed." So ... I'm not really thrilled about the situation, I guess it needs to come out given my history with these cancerous cells .... the issue I went through several years back has also shown potential for bad growth. Do me a favor folks .... don't let something that seems like no big deal, like a mole, or for women to undergo a yearly pap and other related exams. I would also recommend this to my male cohorts. Something that you overlook everyday ... no big deal, turns into something you didn't expect. Anyway ... biopsies were done yesterday, again .... I wait.

So with that fill in .... I hope everyone enjoyed the first day of fall!! This has got to be the best season!! The smell of baking apples, cider, crisp smell in the air first thing in the morning, the smell of firewood .... in my kitchen the scent of cinnamon and spice...... because even the ocean can be enjoyed 365 days a year, but fall is a short span. Enjoy !!!! To those who follow back in New England .... enjoy some of that fresh cider with a "spice" for me!!

I have work to do from home in the morning while doing some multitasking ... LOL ... or at least attempting. These days I am lucky to focus on one thing for any length of time before my mind roams to some other area that is going to need attention ... and SOON. Graduation is only 10 weeks away!!

On that note: I hope you find the link to the press release from Stem Genex on the celebrity stem cell treatment. http://www.prweb.com/releases/2011/9/prweb8814052.htm

Enjoy the weekend one and all!!
Peace and Light
et

Up ... and then down again

2011-09-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

G'Evening,

I am totally exhausted, from so many things. HT and I did the Best Fest this past weekend, and I am still paying for being on my ass for 8 hours, then on my feet for another 7, and then Saturday as well. It was really fun, and there were a ton of people from all over the state up here in Prescott celebrating the 100 year Centennial of AZ on February 14, 2012. I guess there is going to be several months of state wide celebrations. Prescott was the first territorial capital of AZ. Ok ... LOL .... that is about all the wild west history I can share ... I am a New Englander at heart.

Then there was Monday, back to work. I am exhausted ... did I say that already...? The usual 8 hours of what I do, which can be stressful for multiple reasons. Came home, BS dropped, went to bed. Did it again today, didn't want to get out of bed, but I made it to work. Good thing is after last night, I dropped my basal rate down another 1/2 unit an hour. I haven't been about the 150 range in a couple of weeks except for a pump issue I had 3 days ago. I seem to be needing less insulin to carb coverage as well.

Monday evening I listened to a voice mail I had from my GYN, we have issues there again. Going back to the whole lymph node issue, insurance still refuses, so I am being sent to a surgeon to see about just having whatever the 2x3cm mass is removed and biopsied after the fact. I will now also being visiting the GYN for yet another round of biopsies there as well. I am not looking forward to a potential rerun of THAT health hit. I just know the "stress" that they claim feeds these sort of bad cells has not been good. I am now concerned that the lymph node/mass could somehow be related to the other.....? I have my list of questions for both docs as an irregular mole was also found in the area of the mass. I have a history of skin dysplasia as well. All, or both of these health issues revolve around potential cancer cells, they are on the verge of becoming, cervical cancer, melanoma, etc. All being difficult to catch without early detection and regular follow up visits. Again, my knowledge, need to continue to learn, understand and perhaps share the experience with others so they know that they are not alone. I often times have felt very alone, especially with this latest "bad" result on my test. My mother was around to talk to when I went through the last bout, which was far from a pleasant ride, including laser surgery and a 6 week round of topical chemo. I just was not prepared for this hit, not with the potential beginning of a new part-time position that would make me the happiest stemmie recipient on the planet. An opportunity to share all the wonderful things that have happened since.

Basically, I know I need to relax, try and remain calm and optimistic, and just wait to see what happens with the appointments on Thursday. I have already taken the entire day off now due to the biopsy process. I will do some work from home..... in my sweats with a heating pad!!!

Fall is coming to AZ .... the mornings and evenings are cool, the days still warm, but more outside weather, my favorite time out here. Hoping to spend some quality time with Maggie this weekend, bath, oil change ... lol .... sounds exciting don't it?? That is my idea of quality time, being out with the dog ... and having my oil changed. There will be some more box dissection and disposal as well. I only have 9 weeks to get this place in shape for my baby-girls graduation .... with her nursing degree!!!! It has to happen ... especially now that we have only each other here, and of course those dear friends in which we now call family.

Wishing everyone a peaceful nights rest, and/or a wonderful Weds.

Peace and Light
et

Lots of positive happenings

2011-09-17T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!!

Just a quickie update for today. I will detail tomorrow as it has been a busy week. Hillary and I are working one of the alcohol tents for Arizona's Centennial Celebration kick off being held this weekend. We did last night and were absolutely wiped when we got home at 11:00. We will do it again tonight from 5-10. It is through the Eagles, who sponsored my fundraising event back in November so we both feel a good about giving back to the community. So tomorrow, I will try and get "it" in gear so I can get some more boxes empty and dumpster bound.

I received my father's remains back this week .... that was a very weird encounter, just felt odd. I will be doing my "executor" duties to finish this chapter of my life. I plan to weed through what is left of these so called worldly possessions that my brothers seem to think are some sort of gold mine, NOT AT ALL!!! I will sort through and send boxes out hopefully by the end of the year so that we can bring in the new year with a new outlook, a new beginning, and perhaps a couple of expanded career options. All this is overdue for both my daughter, and myself.

With that being said .... I have to finish up some laundry and go to the store.

PS: I think it is time to review the BG logs as I think it is time to kick the basal rate down again. This too, is great news given the stress levels I have been under, and the continued fight of my first "stemmie" treatment. With the lift of some of the stress, and the soon to be loss of the remaining stress contributors ..... I see good things in my future.

Have a wonderful weekend!!!
Peace and Light
et

September already ....

2011-09-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Saturday to everyone!!

I can't believe that September has arrived, the weather seems to be cooling down, we have had some rain this past week, but I am still just at a phase of being overwhelmed to the point I have no clue where the time has gone over the past few weeks. It's been just one blur after another. The entire situation in which my father passed away still weighs on me, and I have awoken at night in this daze as to where all this "rubble" in my home has come from. We have been able to start the weeding out process .... but it is hard to face after going to work and/or school all day or in Hilly's case, just coming in from a day of school yesterday and an all night shift. Everyone keeps telling us, "just take the time, a year or so, put it aside," .... well .... that would be all well and good if I had any sort of storage, shed, or garage. It has to be done, and the sooner I can get it done, and boxes packed for my brothers, the sooner I can forget about the hurtful, selfish behaviors and move on with my own life .... for Hillary, I know she feels bad about the entire situation, however, she is an adult now, can make her own conclusions, make her own call on what and who is part of her life. I, on the other hand, have had my 48 years to look back on recently, and have come to the conclusion that in a "reality" outlook, my brothers never really did support me in my life knowing the disease process, etc. Perhaps they really don't....?? It would seem that the whole "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" theory would place my brothers in the same thought processes as my father. That if we "deny it exists, then we need not really deal with it." It was odd, one of the moments in which keeps playing in my head is the Tuesday night we were in the ER with my dad. He kept insisting that I go home as I had been there since getting out of work, and had not eaten. It was the first time I ever recall him not only making comment of the fact, but would appear he understood now. Not long ago, he was telling me to "be careful, you might throw up your insulin." ..... Not the most intelligent comment from someone who lived in the same house as me for almost 20 years. Anyway .... lots of "moments" keep running though my mind, waking me at night, fogging my thoughts at work, perhaps part of the natural grieving process, but I am thinking this is a little different in that my entire life is about to change, and due to the family BS, I will only have those who have truly supported me in this venture over the past few years to share what comes next. I find it sad, disappointing, and probably a few other words that are just not coming to the forefront, that my own siblings could be so cold hearted, selfish, and with the nerve to blame me for not being fair to them. It totally blows me away!!! I thought I had come to this conclusion when they told me that they would not care for my dad, in any way due to their "childhood feelings." .... LMAO .... I am sorry, but I really do think this is one of the lamest excuses for "grown ups" I have ever heard. At least I can say this about my friends, and extended family, we have always spoke "up front", I don't usually hold any punches in my opinions or how I feel, you usually know where you stand with me ... and likewise ..... so how blessed am I??? To have people like this in my life to enjoy this journey with me, share some of the deepest thoughts of my being, laugh, cry, agree to disagree, and still ..... love and respect. This .... in my opinion, is one of my lifes best gifts, I have some of the greatest people in my life, some having been around for 20-30 years, coming and going, yet always being able to pick up right where we left off, and still continue to move forward in life. How much more can I ask for.....?? I am sorry that my brothers, all of us having been raised in the same home, same parents, same outlook, morals, etc ... primarily run by my mother, could come to be adults with such an outlook on who they are, where they came from, and one lesson I don't think too many, if any, rarely think about ..... I am happy that they seem to be successful in their careers, have nice homes, seem like they manage to get by, some better than the others but ...... when the shit hits the fan (pardon the expression), and life hits you with that slap in the face, you could lose all that wealth in a split second .... I certainly hope they know who they are and where they came from then .... as I do believe that I have learned many lessons over the years, especially since my diagnosis in 1972. I have always felt different in my outlook of the world, maybe we need to have near death experiences as children, as it would seem that as adults, not everyone "gets it." One brother in particular, who I have always considered myself close with in spite of differences over the years, has had a stroke, a heart attack, stents placed .... and no doubt the infamous family trait of high blood pressure and elevated cholesterol, and by looking at his feet and legs, a serious circulation issue (similar to his father).... can sit here drinking heavily, and smoking one after another, and tell me .... what life is all about!!! I certainly hope that for his sake, his grandchildren think he is all that and more, as I think, and remember as a child, my grandfather not being my favorite person as he smelled of beer, cigarette smoke, and was nasty on so many levels. He seems to love his grandchildren very much, however, I wonder if he ever thinks about the picture he portrays in their eyes??? Not my business really .... but .... as siblings .... I was brought up to believe we loved each other, would support and band together in times of need, or death .... seems I was wrong .... and on SO many levels.

This is another one I must put behind me, deal with it, and get on with life. MY LIFE!!! In the past few years, and now, since my treatment and positive responses, my goal is to help others in similar situations. This area of medicine/science can help so many, and it is my passion to share what I do know, continue to learn where the area is going, and educate those looking to know more. I want to be part of finding a cure for Type I, but I also want to encourage others, especially those with neuromuscular and bone issues to look into this.... it is amazing, almost miraculous in what it can do for us. For me, it is something I totally enjoy, my daughter says it makes me "spastic" in my excitement and enthusiasm when she sees me talking to someone interested in knowing what I have been through, and the changes I have experienced. That really does make the deep pain of having a sibling say "don't know anything about it, and I don't care," so much easier to take, as I can't make anyone care, I can't change anyone's behaviors or outlooks but my own. I only have control over my actions and outlooks. However, I will always be willing to share my experiences with anyone who wants to know more, and for that, I am totally grateful for the blessings in which have been placed in my life.

Perhaps today's post is a lot of babbling .... I do apologize .... I have had some low blood sugars these past 2-3 weeks in which I am not spotting them, I am trying hard to put this all into perspective given the situations that have arisen, but ... I must remain diligent, I finally have an appointment with a surgeon on the 22nd to just remove this lymph node (mass), another issue which has been causing disruption .... I'm emotionally and physically exhausted and don't feel like I got any time to actually process any of this BS before having to get back to my life. Just goes to prove .... "life stands still for no one."

With that being said .... go out and live your life today. Do something that makes you happy, brings you peace, relax and take in the sights and sounds that should make us all reflect and prosper.

Wishing all of you a wonderful weekend!!!
Be well ~ Peace and Light
et

I must be getting boring ...

2011-09-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Labor Day to Everyone!!!

Not a whole lot going on that is different. I have been trying to deal and cope with the latest life changing happening. I look around my home and am overwhelmed by the material that I have had to bring here so that we can go through it. We have already made multiple donations to various organizations in the area, had a yard sale to try and make enough to tend to final expenses (we all know the others aren't going to contribute), and I went back to work this past week, which has me completely exhausted. I have been nonstop since the Tuesday we took my dad to the emergency room. My stomach is on the rampage today, blood sugars have been stable, with a few lows, not being picked up until between 44 and 60. (Hillary made mention of the fact that she hopes it is only the stress and not the failure of my stemmies). I ache all over from all the moving we have done, and I am emotionally numb.

I, or I should say Hillary and I, have spent so long caring for, tending to, and looking out for someone this will be a huge adjustment for both of us. She has already had a couple of "moments" having started back to classes and usually stopping by to have lunch a couple of times a week with her grandfather to tell him of her happenings. He was very proud of her, and ALWAYS let her know it. Something that perhaps I didn't get, but am very happy that it was something he could do later in life. I do believe this is a normal thing for most of my parents generation. For as difficult as he could be, I will have to adjust to not having that duty to tend too, and that will be huge for me. Hillary will graduate in December, and then it is unsure of what our future may hold. I do know, that we can spend a little more time tending to us, focusing on our passions, mine being the stem cell process and where it is going ..... and how fast can we get it here, legitimately and within reach of the everyday patient, NOT just the well-to-do (which by-the-way, I am NOT).

I just wanted to drop in and see what was going on. It would appear that I am either getting boring, or people are just reading with no response .... LOL .... usually I am pretty good at stirring some sort of response. I must be slipping.

Wishing everyone a happy and safe Labor Day weekend!!!

Peace and Light
et

Stress overload

2011-08-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

I hope this posting finds all my readers well and happy, and continuing on the quest for more knowledge.

It has been a very stressful, emotionally and physically, two weeks since the passing of my father. His passing, although not completely unexpected, did come suddenly and by means other than the expected. My daughter found him down, we met at the ER and it was within 24 hours he had past, both of us by his side. Then came the family BS .... I have 5 brothers, 3 of which have had no contact with my father since my mother's passing, or prior, and yet 2 of them had the nerve to show up here in AZ, "swoop in like vultures", according to my daughter's observance, offer very little physical or emotional support, for one day (and not a complete day). They then camped out across town with a cousin/friend and proceeded to feed their Budweiser delusions as to how I wasn't being fair to "my brothers." Well, I nearly lost it!!! and then I blew up verbally 2 days prior to their departure. They had nothing nice to say while they were here, seemed disappointed that my parents "didn't have anything" and what they did have was dispersed prior to my mother's passing with the exception of a few "worldly possessions" of my dads. In the end, I was called numerous nasty names, was the recipient of some very hurtful comments, and I walked away stating (loudly)that I hope they don't have to die without the love of their children. Fact is, my parents did the best they knew how to do given the times and circumstances.

All this has been wearing on my body. The emotional and physical stress has caused some lows, which I haven't had for a while, and no real awareness. (I'm hoping this is just stress related) If not for a couple of friends, HT and a few of her friends, we NEVER would have gotten the move completed by weeks end. We tried to sell some of the bigger stuff, made multiple donations as per my mothers request, and the rest, 70 years of photos and some holiday stuff is now crawling the walls in my home. I, too, will handle this task with the help of my daughter, the two of us being the only steady in my parents life for the past 10+ years, yet I'm not being fair to my siblings.

With that being said, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to focus on my life, and my passion for the stem cell science/medicine/treatment will be my focus. As for my so-called siblings .... I did what they didn't have the manhood, or emotional maturity to handle, flat out refused to do at the time the death topic came into play, and therefore, their "childhood issues" or the fact that they stated to me that they would not care for my father "'cause he was an a-hole to us as kids" is not my issue, it is theirs and I REFUSE to accept their guilt as a reason for the bashing as I too, grew up in the same household. They can say whatever they want, but my daughter and I know the truth, we know the history, we know more than my brothers probably would be pleased with. We did not seek to ease our pain in a case of beer x 20+ for the week. Seems a little overwhelming for even a good size party, never mind 2 guys (3 for 3 days). Some serious soul searching should take place, I have done that many times, and my disillusion with "family" has come to a harsh ending in which "forgive and forget" will not only take time, I am not sure it can be undone. It slapped me right in the face that my brothers seem to not care about where they came from, my health issues, were addressed as "I don't know anything about that, and I don't care." ...... Hmmmmm ..... I get more response and admiration from strangers in the way I live my life, and the manner in which I am trying to not only prolong my life given the situation, but live it as I go along. Education, knowledge, is power, and I saw nothing but ego and arrogance in this past visit. I think it is pretty safe to say we won't be having visitors anytime soon, if ever. All the times I thought that when this time in our lives came, we would band together .... holy cow!!! What was I smoking???? and those rose colored glasses should now be shattered. I know my family is of dysfunctional makeup, but .... has no one heard the phrase, "Break the chain"? This cycle should have been broken a long time ago, I can only hope that my daughter has learned some valuable lessons of life in relationships and the give and take of those in play. Human nature never ceases to amaze me.

I hope you were able to check out the Stem Genex newsletter and the articles that were some pretty interesting reading.

I ask for a little time to adjust to what is about to be the biggest life change I have undergone since my divorce back in 1994. Life as I know it has changed drastically, again, and I need to play out my hand in the most appropriate and meaningful way ..... for me!!! I deserve to be good to me and focus on the passions that make me full.

Peace and Light to all
et

It has been a long week

2011-08-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hello to all !!

I hope that all who read the Stem Genex Newsletter found something of interest. This is an upcoming area that the FDA and those who call the shots just can't ignore. It's working, in so many areas, improving the lives of so many, how can they possibly push it under the rug??? I have to say that based on when I started my research into this science, it is finally at a point where we, as the people, can find the treatments. However, we still have a long way to go. I have been so pleased that my blog has reached people who are looking for this sort of treatment, and that I have been able to talk with them about what I experienced. This is an "opportunity" I didn't have when I was looking for treatment, and a reputable organization to work with. I have found that, and will continue to advocate for such.

On another note, I have some stressful, disturbing blogging info to post on, as it has been 12 days from chaos, having lost my father on August 18th, and not to the reason we had expected. It was fast, he was kept comfortable, and this happening brought out, yet again, the ultimate best in my so-called siblings. It is my opinion, and that of many who have witnessed the situation over the past 5 years, that my daughter and I did what my brothers didn't have the "manhood" or emotional maturity to handle, and therefore, throwing derogatory comments of negativity is their method of making themselves feel better, so be it. I am all too aware people grieve differently, this is not grieving, this is pure and total guilt, and I will not allow it to eat me as I know the actions I took, and will continue to take as I move forward, are never with the intention to get something for nothing, or to avoid the basic human contact, regardless. I may have been frustrated and irritated with my father's outlook on life, and he could certainly be difficult, but, past is past, and neither Hillary, nor myself, ever turned our back on him, or left him alone. We included him .... and as a result, most of our friends, were very much aware of the "grandfather" .... Hillary found him down, and in her professional mode, handled herself amazingly, we were with him until the end, he managed to tell us he loved us, and he knew we were there and would do our best to take care of the aftermath. Needless to say, my blood sugars have responded with several lows over the past week or so, in part, I believe, due to stress levels and all the physical moving we have had to do to get the apartment empty, which was completed yesterday.

So .... this is part of why I have not made many posts in the past couple of weeks. Life has had me very occupied.

Wishing all Peace and Light
et

Newsletter Link

2011-08-26T20:31:00.000-07:00

http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=mhorzzcab&v=00186bjBp797gv9gFB6hirQEX6wHGH_X2P4lDOyI7fGv_CAP3bmjdvO6owe1yfWXiVfbzI0czko7e_5Jv4ireb00Hpjaylj3S39d7oyR7zW8BD9DeGq6id4Uz80TavVi62ecuxBQME2jxI%3D

The link above is the this months Stem Genex Newsletter, I am the headline article, followed by two VERY promising and informative articles involving the military and TX Governor, Rick Perry. The more awareness we promote, the better chance we have of bringing stem cell treatment to those who need and want it ... HERE!

Enjoy the read!!!
Peace and Light
et

I need to update on some stressful few weeks, but for now, lets celebrate knowledge!!!

Some exciting stuff for me

2011-08-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone and Happy Friday!!!

Not a whole lot going on that is new. I do have some exciting news (or at least it is my idea of exciting). First, I am home today with what I thought I had a hold of, a sinus infection. My head is killing me!! With this monsoon season in full flow here in AZ there is a lot of blowing dust, dirt, etc., then stirred up with a down pour of rain that releases tons of God only knows what, filling the air. It isn't anything like the rains I remember from back east. There is no refreshing smell of wet grass or flowers after a rain, it is wet dirt at best. This area also throws lots of spores from the dirt and dust which can cause some pretty nasty upper respiratory infections, and something they call Valley Fever, which is something I would really like to avoid. I also had a doctor appointment this week in which the provider asked me "why hasn't it been biopsied yet?" regarding my lymph node issue, which after her examination, has been bothering me for the last 3 days. She is requesting past operative reports and seems sincere in getting this little issue taken care of .... she is one of only 2 providers I have dealt with in the past 3-4 months of this that seems totally irked with the mentality of most of the health care community in which they have placed their passion. Just goes to prove, some still have their ethics and compassion. We will see where this goes, and how fast. I follow up next week.

So the week has been pretty long in the sense of fighting the sinus pain, dealing with the same individuals who refuse to do their jobs and yet continue to have one, and try and accommodate the duties I have in and out of the workplace. I saw to my Dad a couple of times this past week, he continues to be a major source of stress for me and I am trying to fit in going over and getting things ready to move and/or get rid of. Sounds sort of harsh, but, unfortunately, I will get no help with this mission or the payment of his final bills, etc from the so-called siblings. With that being said, let's move on to what I feel is exciting and gets me all pumped up .....LOL.

Earlier this week I got a call from the Stem Genex gentleman (who was not part of my treatment at the time), he asked if I would talk to another patient in regard to how my treatment went. I, of course, said yes!! I wished at the time, I had been able to speak with someone who had undergone the treatment, or had dealt with any particular company. I am now in a position to offer my experience as I am not afraid to do so. I want anyone, and everyone, to know that I was treated VERY well, well within ethical guidelines, and the personal touch was more than comforting. If I can offer that to another patient, especially those suffering from Type I, I want to do it. My daughter and I have actually spoken about this divulging of information and the way that HIPPA can prevent people from getting this sort of information. So ... if this is the only legacy I leave behind, I am willing to put myself out there to do so. So I thought that was pretty exciting!! Also, and this is something that has had me all excited this week ... The informational news letter put out by the ISCI / Stem Genex and is full of up-to-date info on where the science is, etc. is going to spot light ME!!! In 2 weeks, I will be the patient spot light on my story (condensed version) and my response to treatment in just the 1st six months. I am so excited as the woman I spoke with last night who conducted the interview was SO intriguing and interesting, we could have been on the phone all night!!! She really was, yet another, strong, intelligent woman placed in my direct path on this leg of my journey. I have a feeling, or shall I say, it is my real hope, that one day soon I can put myself right into this area of medicine either as the "guinea pig" producing the data to those who can REALLY put it to use, or, that I am available to patients who want, as I, to live longer, healthier, and prove the US regulatory agencies holding us back WRONG!!

Again, all the political happening in the past couple of weeks has me reeling. Loss in the stock market yesterday hit my 401K hard, and that is about all I have as any sort of "investment" to help in my future. I don't have to tell most of you, that I am not a rich woman, monetarily speaking. I work hard to keep a roof over our head, I have all the basic expenses most have, plus, even with health insurance, I have medical expenses, both appointments and supplies in which total a whopping 7k + a year, and that doesn't always include any deductible. (I'm thinking this is a big reason I can't find a date .... LOL). So with that info, how can I possibly do anything exciting such as a vacation!!?? I try to make the time, and lucky for me and the child, we are a cheap date, and so easily amused. These sorts of expenses never seem to be taken into consideration, in regard to "getting ahead." A perfect example, is my daughters applications for Federal aide to assist her with her college education. She doesn't usually qualify ..... imagine that.... a young, white woman, who is fully employed (full-time) and putting herself through college (yes, full time) with very little help. She took out a loan last year that was made more difficult then our mortgage was. Yes, she is also a home owner, and she is only 22 years old!!! I could take this post to a whole other level in regard to not only our health care, but our declining educational status. WE ARE NOT THE SUPER POWER that the big guys in Washington want us to believe and if you are that "brain washed" to believe we are .... then you should dig a little deeper as you will be in for a very rude awakening ... and my guess, is it won't be too long now before it all blows up on the American people. That is those that are still alive when the pharmaceuticals, over priced health care, and the environment get done with us. Talk about a legalized way of thinning out our own population ..... LOL .....

I wish ... and on a daily basis, wish I knew what I could do as one person to make that difference. I can't, it will take a whole band of voices to get things like this changed. It has to change, this is not the model in which I believe this country was built, and it continues to fail us, as citizens, every day.

I can't wait to see what is compiled for the news letter, and will certainly post a link this this information when it comes out. I know I have been getting the ISCI news letter since I found them over a year ago, it comes to my email, so anyone who wants in that way, can sign up to stay up to date by visiting the website. Lots of things are changing, and even I need to get caught up, this is such an exciting time for this science / medicine!!! Please join me in bringing a change to the outlook behind stem cells.

Thanks and have a wonderful weekend!!!

Peace and Light
et

Negative, Depressing, Small-minded thinking ...

2011-07-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

Good Day Everyone!!!

It seems as it has been a while since my last post. Life has had me busy. Work has required OT which really takes its toll on me. The last two weeks has had me in close to 60 hours/week, and that doesn't include the work I do from home for a private neuropsychologist. Which means that this weekend, my house looks like a tornado has blown through and I just don't have the energy to wipe it all out. Oh, where, oh where did my life go wrong??? I would love to have a maid, yard boy, and even a pool boy .... lol ... but need that pool first!!! I certainly would feel better on a regular basis if I had a body of water to work in.

Ok, well enough of that whining!! Sleep has not been so great this past week. Not because I don't feel well, but because it is monsoon season here in Arizona and my dog has become a rather neurotic, paranoid baby this season where thunder is concerned. As I type, she is across my lap!!! .... and has been in this sort of position since yesterday afternoon. as storms have been off and on, all 70 lbs of her thinking she is a lap dog!!! When HT gets home from work in just a bit, I am hoping to get some stuff done as the dog can go lay with her for "body contact security!"

I have a couple of articles to post here. I am so happy with the progress the folks at Stem Genex are making in bringing this, in my opinion, miracle, to the forefront on so many levels. Check out the latest release from them on MS patients!!! The benefits of this treatment are so much more than anyone could begin to explain. It just reaffirms my belief in what is possible if the politics would just back off here in the US.

Also, the second printing is that of a question I posed on the Diabetes Research Institutes Facebook page last week. It too, has turned into a very informative piece on where the research is in the US, and how they want to tackle the issue. I am happy to say that I support this institute, however, I am not fully convinced that the direction they are stating here in the article is what I would offer my body up for "guinea pig" status. Some say I have been a "guinea pig" in a sense having undergone my stem cell treatment. Perhaps, and I would do it again, even allowing a more in depth sort of administration in the future for just such a response. However, I continue to do my research, reading, and understanding the risks vs. benefits of this venture. I am still a very firm believer that at this particular phase of my life, this is my mission!! To help move the science along so that the next generation of Type I's, and any other disease that can benefit from stem cell treatments, not to mention what it does just to keep us in a better form given what age does to us on the norm, i.e., my skin, and what my daughter refers to as my "lack of hail damage" since my treatment .... LOL..... this sort of irritates her at the tender age of 22.

So ... with that small update on the fact that I am still alive, still working more than I want, still caring for my father, and trying to keep up in the area in which I find true satisfaction, "stemmies," and continuing to read and pose questions to those in positions of research and hoping to open the minds of those such as the person who responded to the DRI question as BS!!! This person, in my opinion has NEVER experienced living with Type I, or any other disease in which lives quality is a daily challenged. As I stated in my response to this person, I would trade places with you any time to give you 40 years of what you refer to as "don't exist" BS. It is the mind set of people like this that send me into a frame of mind that I can't believe some people feel that it is ok for THEM to play, judge and jury. I am all for freedom of speech, but if you don't understand a topic, learn all you can about it before you start throwing rocks. There are millions of people out there waiting on this sort of science/medicine/technology to save their own, or a loved ones life. How would you feel if we decided we didn't care or believe in what could save yours?? As one of my favorite songs indicates in lyrics "Walk a Mile in my shoes!!"

https://www.facebook.com/notes/diabetes-research-institute/dri-answers-stem-cell-question-part-1/10150729267015052

(The above link may have to have a Facebook account, if you are not on FB, try going to the DRI website directly, I was told it is posted on the website as well with Part 2 to be posted on Thursday 8/4)

http://investorstemcell.com/stem-cell-research/stemgenex%E2%84%A2-says-treatment-for-multiple-sclerosis-lies-within-the-patient/

The above link is a recent release from Stem Genex. They are expanding in such a positive way and hopefully will have some major University connections to brag about soon. Again, I want to be the "guinea pig" here ... LOL ....I have a special reason for wanting to do this, and my daughter and I are believers that I can make a difference in the thinking of those who "don't believe."

I hope you enjoy today's reads and have a wonderful week!!!

Thanks for following!!!
Peace and Light,
et

Today's Stem Cell issues for me

2011-07-14T19:37:00.000-07:00

Hi All!!

I hope this post finds everyone doing well, and making the best of every day!!! I try... even when I am not feeling well. I have a couple of topics I want to hit on over the next week or so that have come up in multiple conversations I have had in just this past week.

Topics will include: What I feel is the US's "propaganda" against allowing stem cells to be used freely. I realize that there is a lot of areas in which they still need some research. However, if we continue to use the term "embryonic" which is a term in which makes feathers fly, and not focus on all the wonderful progress that has been made with the cells we hold in our very own bodies, this will never happen and the pharmaceutical companies will continue to suck us dry monetarily, as well as kill us off with all the unproven side effects that come with so many of these drugs.
HIPPA rules - I choose to share my health information on a certain level, of my own free will. This is my choice as there are so many topics that come about when living with a chronic, potentially fatal disease that never gets talked about, even with our doctors. So why not...??? People need to know that they are not alone, that others suffer with some of the same issues they do. If I can help, in some sort of humorous manner, I am more than willing to put myself out there. I too, for many years, thought I was alone in some of the long-term side effects I was/am suffering with. I also have been thinking about "destiny" the last couple of weeks. I believe that God has/had a much bigger plan for me when I was rejected from the Islet cell transplant trial, and for so many levels.

There was another topic ... LOL ... but I lost track and forgot what it was at the moment. My dog is getting pushy to play. When the mama (me) gets home, it's time to play for a while and me sitting here isn't getting that done.

So .... let's focus on autologous stem cells and what they can do for all of us on SO many levels I can't even begin to tell you.

On my own health front, I am still having issues with the swelling from the lymph node and I am not going to allow another doctor to jump in this pot currently based on "menopause" which I do not believe this has any role. I still await an approval from the insurance company on the PET scan. I am wondering how long I should wait before I contact someone in regard to "negligence"? In the meantime, I have a life to live, and I want to make the best of each day, chipping away at all the things I need to get done, and the things I still want to accomplishment.

Ok ... well ... wishing everyone a wonderful evening!!
Off to play some Frisbee with my buddy.

Peace, Light and Serenity
et

This is Amazing

2011-07-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

This is AMAZING stuff!!
One step closer to amazing cures.

This article appeared in this mornings Arizona Republic newspaper on the recent cure of a cancerous trachea...... with stem cells from the patients own body. My kind of enthusiasm and passion.

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/2011/07/08/20110708windpipe0708.html

FYI - I was diagnosed at the Children's Hospital in Boston back in October 1972.

Have a wonderful weekend!!
Peace, Light, and Serenity!!
et

Food for Thought

2011-07-04T14:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43631577/ns/health-aging/

The above article, is in part, some of the benefits I did not expect to experience with my treatment, all falling into this science.
No, I have no desire to live to be 125-150 years old!!! But ... I do have a dream to live a few more, 10-20 years, with a whole lot less deterioration and complications of my Type I diabetes. So, in my opinion, this science, modality, medicine, call it whatever you want (as this is what the US is doing anyway in regard to the application of such) it is all in the language. If we can get past the political, bureaucratic language that seems to go hand-in-hand in the US, this sort of medicine can come into the forefront .... FOR EVERYONE!!!

Food for thought on this 235th Independence Day!!!

Happy 4th!!!

Peace, Light and Serenity!!
et

A question to my readers

2011-07-03T18:22:00.000-07:00

I seem to have a lot of foreign readers (thank you), and my question is particularly to those reading from Russia. Is the science/medical use of stem cells happening in Russia? Can anyone tell me how and where this is being done?

Thanks in advance for any info sent my way!!

Peace, Light and Serenity!
et

In response to the question ...

2011-07-02T09:08:00.001-07:00

Is Stem Genex reputable?

In looking through the stats that go along with my blog here, I noticed that there were inquiries through search engines, in which the question was asked as to if Stem Genex was reputable...??

My response to this question .... Absolutely, without a doubt!!!

I can honestly tell you, I spent a good 6-7 months weeding through a good many companies, doctors, etc. that claimed to do the impossible in regard to stem cells, and the costs that went along with these procedures. I made many phone calls, asked a lot of questions, my gut helped in several of these encounters. To keep my mind in check, if it doesn't feel right in your gut then NO, RED FLAG, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, etc. should keep anyone researching for a line of defense in their health care on their toes for legit, and reputable. It can be a difficult time, as I know I wanted to get all excited and just go with it, and then after a phone call, it just didn't feel right, and on many of my calls for information to other providers, the cost usually became a huge red flag, as I know the science, and I had a feeling that something just wasn't right with a couple of these "agencies." The promise was WAY too much, and so was the cost of the promise. Stem Genex, a subsidiary of the International Stem Cell Institute, was upfront with me, and very caring, from the very first contact. It was just a good feeling from the start, and it proved true with the planning of my treatment, and the follow up I have received to see how things are progressing.

I went with the International Stem Cell Institutes's, Stem Genex, because of the caring, straight-forward communication given the nature of the treatments, and those looking to have it done and why. I was, as I have stated many times prior, a believer in the science prior to my treatment. I can without any hesitation, tell you all that my experience with this company undergoing the treatment with a patient advocate at my side the entire time, ready and willing to answer any questions, as well as the treatment I received after treatment in follow up conversations. These people, this company, is genuine, built on passion and personal knowledge of the science. I would recommend Stem Genex, without reservation, to anyone I knew to undergo this treatment for their issues, whatever they may be.

My mother used to tell me the "best form of advertisement was word-of-mouth." My mouth is big, and when something is worth shouting, I try my best to overcome the negative and shout the positives. So for those inquiring via the Internet as to if this is a legitimate company, I would have to say, YES!!! My experience has been nothing short of miraculous.

Enjoy the weekend!!
Peace, Light and Serenity
et

Happy 4th!!

2011-07-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 4th America!!

Independence .... Please remember all of those who have sacrificed to allow us this privilege. I like to think of it as my ability to "hold my own." It has also been said I have too much of it,

Independence .... something I feel I was raised to believe I have the power to induce. With this power, I have a lot to consider on this, the second Independence Day, as well as my birthday, without my mother. It was 2 years ago this weekend that I dove into finding and applying to take part in a clinical trial to help extend my life. As we all know, I was rejected from this aspect of looking for a cure. That was a devastating blow to me. However, I did not give up, in fact, I believe that although the stem cell treatment in which I underwent in February of this year, is not a cure, YET, it is and has the potential to be the underlying process in which health can be regained. I experienced, in spite of the health issues I have dealt with since February, beginning with the pneumonia, SO many more positives than negatives with the receipt of this treatment. As with anything that takes a long time to deteriorate, one cannot expect it to rejuvenate in one treatment. So ... I will be planning to undergo it again. I also believe, that had I not had the "stemmies," I would, without a doubt, be in a whole lot worse shape, if not dead already.

As I contemplate the undergoing of the treatment again .... I will continue to advocate for people who can benefit from this treatment, and that, to me, is such a wide array of people with a wide array of afflictions. This is our HOPE for future cures.

Also, I am still in chaos as far as my insurance company denying the request to undergo a biopsy and/or the PET scan. So ... we all know what I am contemplating there. I WILL NOT LAY DOWN, for these sorts of establishments. They are calling the shots on MY life, based on their MONETARY INTAKE, and that is the big picture where I sit currently. I will not lay down and die without a fight, I have overcome way too much in my life, health-wise, as well personal situations, to be taken out on bureaucratic BS!!!

With that being said, it is Independence Day .... stand up for what you believe in, and don't forget those who fought and sacrificed the ultimate for us to have that independence. Happy 4th!!

Another very promising article

2011-06-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a cousin for sharing this very interesting article.

Would love to hear some feedback on this article. It is the first I had heard of anything like this.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-24/generic-tuberculosis-medicine-shows-promise-for-reversing-type-1-diabetes.html

Peace, Light and Serenity
et

PS: I forgot to mention there was yet another snag in the scan. It was scheduled on Tuesday and cancelled on Weds due to an apparent oversight on someones part, the insurance company denied the test, scan and/or biopsy. Am thinking that perhaps the insurance company will also be a target of a suit if it is possible, and without a doubt if there is something life altering found.

Just some trivia info

2011-06-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

Good Morning again ...

I just have to tell you all .. today, 6/21/11, the first day of summer, the sun moving into "Crab" mode ( I am born under this sign) .... and ..... as of today I believe my page will hit the 5000 hit mark!!! I sit here and shake my head in amazement as I had no idea when I started this blogging process that anyone, never mind people would hit it 5000 times to date. This really makes me ponder ... LOL ... who are all these readers, what keeps them coming back? I know some read anonymously, that is fine, I have my 14 registered followers, who for the most part, also read anonymously unless they leave a comment. THANK YOU!!!

Again, it just blows me away that anyone really cares about my ranting and raving, and how it affects my life, and health care ... but, I really think that if my ranting peaks only a few minds, than I have done a great service on a small level. I am, however, only one voice. A "big mouth" as my mom called me at times, especially if I was passionately upset .... lol .... if I believe in something, I can get loud, and I do consider myself passionate about the things I have been voicing in recent months. I am going to set up my cause this month on the FB page as "stemmies" .... I need more stemmies ... we all need stemmies!!! We need to get this science to the forefront of medicine, and keep the costs from the government and those that see nothing but $$ and not potential cures and treatments.

Ok ... well ... I wish there was a way for me to figure out who my 5000th reader would be .... just to recognize you here on the blog. Something fun for a change ... yes, I can be the ultimate goof-ball ... or as my daughte is always reminding me ... I am certainly proud to "fly my freak flag!!" :D

A wonderful 1st day of Summer to everyone!!!
Peace, Light, and Tranquility
et

Points to Ponder today ...

2011-06-21T05:09:00.000-07:00

Good Morning my faithful followers!!!

This attached link to an article on the MSNBC website this morning ..... something to ponder.
The UN ... worldwide ... what is wrong with this picture?? Why is this happening?? Why do we allow this to continue?? Good people are dying everyday because they don't fall into the proper economic class ... RICH!!

Would love to hear others comments on this topic as it is a real issue. If you are healthy, lucky you, if you have health issues/problems/disease, I feel your pain. If you are healthy consider this ... do you have any idea that it only takes a moment, only a moment, a split second and you could lose everything, and I'm not referring to just your health. Look at the costs, you have a nest egg, lucky you!!! Watch how fast it can get depleted ... watch how fast those who claim to love you run in the other direction for fear you may such their nest egg dry .... this has to stop. Everyone needs and deserves medical care.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43473027/ns/health-health_care/

Enjoy the read and have a wonderful day!!!
I am back to work this morning ... hope this goes well. I need to learn a new method of keeping calm in stressful situations, unfortunately, the entire organization is at a stress level out of control.

Thanks again to all who follow, send love and prayers!!!

Peace, Light, and Tranquility
et

Another loss in the music world

2011-06-19T06:38:00.000-07:00

Condolences to the family, friends and fans of Clarence Clemons who passed away last night at the age of 69. He was the long-time sax player for the E Street Band (Bruce Springsteen). This man, known as the "Big Man" blew one hell of a horn!!! (I have a thing for horn players and blues guitarists .... hehehe) Check out any news outlet for the story. Below link from the Boston Herald.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/obituaries/view/20110618e_street_band_sax_player_clarence_clemons_dies/srvc=news&position=recent_bullet

Blow your horn; Blow your horn ..... to the big band in the sky ....

It's too bad the young people of today don't have a clue as to who these great musicians are .... or care. One day, this world is going to be very cold, and very empty if we can't bring back the arts, music, dance, etc., and spark a real interest in our young people, who can learn SO much from the older generation. Again, another legend lost!!!

Wishing everyone a Happy Father's Day ... and a Wonderful Sunday!!

On the health front; I am still sore, and forgot about the whole lifting more than 5 pounds for the next 7 days ... lol ... not that I lifted anything REALLY heavy, I just didn't want to make more than one trip into the house with groceries. I will take it slower today .... tomorrow I will be home, making lots of phone calls and seeing the doctor in the afternoon. Tuesday, it will be back to work and moving my butt into a new office .... all to pamper some broad who thinks she is that special, when in reality, she is a pain in the ass, who lies continuously and makes problems doing crap that is not part of her job to start with .... which is why my building is about to lose its easy going spirit due to the fact this woman HAS to be moved back in. No doubt, she sees this as some sort of promotion. Let's just say .... there are bets going on now as to whom will blow up and out on this woman first .... and odds are not on me as the front runner for a change .... LOL .....

Enjoy the day!!!
Peace, Light, and Tranquility
et

Small vessels vs. Small vessel disease

2011-06-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!!

Well ... it has been yet another week from hell for not only my body, but my emotional well-being.
As you all know I have been dealing with this lymph node issue for what seems like WAY too many weeks now. On top of that, which I will touch base on here in this post, I was taken by a co-worker on Weds afternoon to the ER due to severe chest pain, along with some of those "tell-tale" signs and symptoms. We thought, I thought, I was having a heart attack. Hillary met us in the ER ... where I was taken immediately in to triage and sent back to the waiting room and told, "if it gets worse come tell us." Hillary and I pulled up a spot. Hillary was telling me she had hoped I hadn't gone through the door knowing that once in, I couldn't go to another hospital without being deemed one of those who leaves AMA. I can tell you now, I know this is a legal loophole for everyone except the patient. In any event, it didnt' seem to take all that long before the pain began to intensify yet again. I had done the usual protocol in the event one thinks a heart attack is in process, having taken aspirin prior to leaving the office. Hilly notifies the nurse of the pain, I get moved back to the unit and placed in a bed ... in the hallway!! ... and thus, the saga begins .... my pain continued off and on for the rest of the afternoon. It took 4 nurses, and multiple, and I do mean multiple sticks, some exceptionally painful for someone (a paramedic) to get a line in ... and all of this took place over a 2 hour period. Not only that, I was deeply pissed ... and I am being really calm in my language here as I was beyond livid in the midst of this experience. Not only did they not offer me nitroglycerin until after the line was in .... the ego and attitudes of a couple of these nurses was enough to send me into a thought of risking assault, as that was how I was feeling. One nurse in particular, with a snotty, "I've no doubt done this more times than you have," and then proceeded to push a needle in over a knuckle and out the skin one inch away. I let out a rather sudden screech as it hurt as though she had scraped bone, and then had the nerve to back away from me and state "I'll continue when YOU calm down." Excuse me bitch, but you just had your last attempt!! Take the needle out and get the hell away from me before I reach out and touch someone!!! At this point, I am still in chest pain, but now I am also experiencing multiple other forms of pain. YES, I needed a few minutes to regroup and calm down. Needless to say, this same nurse was the one who came back over an hour later to offer up the nitro, and I can honestly say, it was her attitude and demeanor which will be key in my conversation with an attorney come Monday morning. All that being said, I was not a happy camper when after multiple tests, i.e., chest x-ray, EKG, and approximately 6:00 pm now, the ER doctor comes and tells me that all my blood work is normal, but ... he is going to admit me given my "risk factors." This phrase is one I have heard so many times over the years that I feel like smacking some of these doctors. Lately, I see this as them looking at me as a "cash cow." When I started to get a little irritated with this request I said I had no desire to remain in this facility. He then hits me with this AMA crap and telling me that I could go home and have a major heart attack, or worse, I could have a heart attack and die!! OOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm scared ... I respond to him, in no uncertain terms, that "I could be hit by an F'in car in your parking lot out here ... and DIE!!" So what is your point....??? Needless to say, this argument went on for several minutes and I lost after a heated discussion with my daughter on the insurance issues and the cost of a potential bill coming in that could put us on the street. So I am held hostage in my opinion, in a facility that in recent months has not been top of my number one facilities in this state. By the time I was placed in a bed on the floor, I had recapped the afternoon, and came to the conclusion that a lawyer was to be consulted. I had been in the facility over 2 + hours never given anything for pain, anxiety, or the nitro to help alleviate the chest pain ... in my opinion, that is negligence at the top of the list in heart attack protocol. Next day comes, morning is loaded with tests, first one in which I flunk with chest pain, and an irregular EKG, another ultra sound of my legs as one of the blood tests comes back elevated for blood clot possibility. When I got to CT lab, woman says she can't do test due to size of the line in my hand (you know, that one that took over 2 hours to get in), and we decide that seeing as I flunked the stress test, we would wait and discuss the next step with doctor and my nurse. Upon my return to my room I am informed that I will be taken to the cath lab in 30 minutes. Needless to say, the search for a possible blood clot was aborted .... now, a blood clot was apparently found on one of the ultrasounds done a few weeks back. No one told me about this ... I found out via a report I read when I requested all the records since my pneumonia stay in February.

OK .... well .... are you seeing anything wrong with how I feel at this point?? I'm still tired ... and Is till don't feel good ... and the way I see it, this is doing nothing for my already high stress levels, which in turn doesn't help the present situation.

Now ... oh this gets better. I made a couple of nasty comments in regard to this doctor that was covering, yet again, for the doctors who act as my PCP. He apparently was the man who glanced in a negative manner my way while I was in the hall, and I responded with my signature comment .... most of you know what this statement is so I will not type it out .... LOL .... I don't really care who heard it, or anything else I said that evening as this is what I felt to be the truth. I also made comment about the staff standing around 6 deep at the counter pissing and moaning about their budget cuts, and being short staffed, etc. Hello ... I too, deal with this at work, and although I may not work directly with patients, I find it VERY inappropriate for this sort of discussion to go on in front of patients, and an ER is in no way the place to hold the conversation. That was to make me feel more warm and comfy as a patient, right....???

Again ... so many inappropriate happenings. Yesterday, I get a call from the operating room nurse stating that they had 2 consents signed, neither of which were something that was done, and one, that wasn't taken care of ... and that was for the cardiac cath ...hmmmm .... seeing as this is part of what I do for a living ... this again, in a compliance issue in which I also will consult an attorney on. If something should happen to me .... I can only hope that they all work for my daughter one day!! This "Clown" as I referred to him in the ER, who oversaw my care for 21 hours, and I will say, he went out of his way to make an impression, but too, bombed as he discharged me with NO paperwork on the cardiac cath and what should or should not be done over the next 7 days. He then told me I could go back to work, but didn't document any of it, therefore, I couldn't go back to work and now can't until Tuesday as work won't let me come back without a doctor note. It was also stated in the ER that I had "small vessels." It would appear that there is a difference between small vessels and small vessel disease which was what they diagnosed after the cardiac cath. I don't show any signs of heart disease, which is good, as I hadn't shown any disease 5 years ago either. But, was told I had small vessels after my ablation procedures out of Tucson 5+ years ago. What the hell is the difference ....??? and in my opinion ... this, again, is some sort of verbalization by staff at this local facility to cover their asses!!!

And... on my last rant for today .... yesterday, I call the insurance company to report the admit and while I have them on the line decide I will check on the preauth for the PET scan to address the lymph node only to find out they have nothing on file and nothing has been received from the doctor office ....off to the doctors office ... and the woman doing this is scrambling now knowing that I know, and stating and showing me a form, I state, the filled out form does me no good if the insurance company doesn't have it yet.... again ... incompetence on so many levels .... how long does one have to wait??? I know this is going on all over this country, my question to you all is what makes the health care here in the US so much better than countries that have socialized medicine?? I am seeing no difference in the arguments of one waiting so much longer in that arena. So now I have to see my PCP ... again.... on Monday afternoon, to get not only a note to go back to work, but lets see how she responds when her orders upon leaving town, have yet to be carried out due to the fact this last phase of this "STAT" order is still in linger mode. I;m signing off now as all this frustration only adds to the recurrence of chest pain ... and I need to try and remain calm ... really, I am seeing why people give up ... why people become uncaring, unsympathetic, etc in regard to life going on ... everyone life will go on .... how healthy it goes on, or with whom may be in it, remain unanswered. I understand more and more every day to my mother's disicion to be "done" with medical science as they were doing the same thing with her, test after test knowing full well that there was nothing that could be done, only a dollar sign in how much can we suck this person and their insurance for before they see the light, and say ENOUGH!!!

On that note, I wish you all a wonderful weekend .... do what makes you happy!!!
Peace and Light
...and I think I should add tranquility to this sign off :D
et

Did make it ...

2011-06-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

Morning ...

I will keep this brief. I didn't make it to Phoenix for the PET scan. Unfortunately, it would seem that there is no one in a medical position manning the office and I am STILL waiting on the insurance comanpany authorization. This in and of itself, irritates me to no end, it is totally uncalled for given the results they have to base an opinion on, and continued symptomatology.

Yesterday afternoon I was taken from my office to the local ER with chest pain/symptoms of a potential heart attack. This too, turned into an encounter I could have done without. Not only that, at one point I think I just threw my arms up said "fuck it," and told Hillary I was done being a good patient. Although I was taken in almost immediately given the fact I said I was having chest pain,I was triaged, and asked to wait back in the waiting room. That didn't last too long seeing as pain became intense again and I was taken back and placed in a bed located in the hallway (they were that busy, I guess), then ... after hooking me up to a monitor spent the next TWO hours and multiple people and pokes to get a line in .... THEN they offered me up nitroglycerine .... REALLY ...???? It was not until they gave me the nitro that my chest pressure has subsided completely, up until that point, it came in went, in various waves of intensity. Ok ... well ... as many of you can imagine, I'm not a happy camper at this point and my frustration is eating at me in more ways than one. I continue to lay in the hallway, as the staff bitches within ear shot of patients about their woes, budgets, short staffing, etc. (I can relate to this, I too, am dealing with it where I am employed) However .... it is a service area of employment .... and the patients, me being one at times, need not hear some of these comments when experiencing pain and/or didiscomfort. (something that I am experiencing at this moment) I should call the nurse, however, it is shift change, and my guess is they are all too busy, so I am going to wait the 10 minutes to see if the doc shows up at 7:00 as he stated. Maybe it will pass ... I will NOT stay in this hospital to undergo any sort of invasive procedure ... i.e., an angiogram and possible stent placement ... NOT HERE KIDS!!!

Ok ... nurse just came in. Nothing by mouth now until my test at 8:30 (my guess is doc will not be here in 10 minutes) ... I am tired, in so many ways ... I'm just wondering, how long does one continue to fight? I want quality, not quantity ... that has always been my outlook, and will remain. I am all for teaching hospitals, but I will not allow the medical community to use me as their own personal cash cow, with a lets take a guess and see ... and lately, I don't have a lot of faith in the knowledge I am encountering. I haven't heard one real educated guess even ... oh well ... guess all this frustration with the medical community and health care status has me on edge and isn't in my best interest, i.e., you know, the big one might hit!!! What really ticked me off yesterday was when I told the doctor I didn't want to stay ... then he dealt me this AMA card ... WTF!! I though as a patient, I had the right to leave and seek care elsewhere ... apparently there are loopholes involved in that information. Hillary tried to catch me before my coworker took me into the ER as once I was in ... anything I decided (like to leave) would have been considered AMA.

So .. it would appear I am being held on protocol in a place I am not convinced is up to par in these days of budget cuts and staff shortages ... I feel, from a patients perspective, it is all about how much money can we make on this visit ...??? Now if someone would like to argue me wrong, have at it .... but .... I feel I have dealt with this profession long enough in my life to pull the good ones from the bad, and that the good ones are being held down, held back, and literally tied with the rules and regs put on them by the Federal Government and insurance companies!!

Ok ... well ... it is 7:00 .... I hear familiar voices .... and am going to close my eyes for the next 90 minutes until they come to get me for this stress/echo .... wish me luck!!!!

Enjoy the day!!
Peace and Light
et

Reality check ...

2011-06-13T16:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the time between posts.

I have continued to not feel well, and show symptoms of low-grade, off/on fever, swelling, fatigue, etc over the past couple of weeks. This past week I came home early twice, and every day fought to make it through my eight hours. Needless to say, not a whole lot got done when I finally got home. On Friday, I left early again with a fever and made calls to the doctors office. I am getting no where pretty fast, today, I am home again, looking and feeling like a Macy's day balloon (or at least that is how I feel). A call is in yet again to the doctors office on the authorization for this flipping scan. Tomorrow, if I haven't heard anything back I am going to plan on driving to Phoenix after work, by that time symptoms should be all good and clearly visible as everyone seems to see an "ill" look in my eyes by mid-afternoon. Why is this such an issue?? Better yet, why have I allowed it to go on for so many weeks now?? When I saw this "fill in" NP last week and she made the comment about "well, I can guarantee a scan won't show anything, after all, your not dead yet" was not my idea of a bedside manner on the plus side at this point. Where does a so called professional get off making a statement like that not knowing me at all? She had just met me 5 minutes prior!!! She has no clue what my long-term history, or family history is to go making comments like that, and if I am exhibiting symptoms repeatedly, and I have clearly visible and palpable "lumps" than I say SHUT YOUR MOUTH already and let's get to the bottom of this problem. I am sick and tired of fighting, and really am tired of the BS. I am feeling that this is the time I am not being my best advocate, and that someone else might have to step up pretty soon. I don't want to burden Hillary with this currently, so I just best "man up" and get 'er done.

Reality ... Reality bites!! Reality isn't the crap we watch on television, in fact, in my opinion, that is the furthest from reality a person can get. No one gives a shit about Paris Hilton, or these Kardashian broads, whoever they are anyway ... ?? These people wouldn't know reality if it bit them in the ass!! I was on a phone call yesterday with a woman (a neuropsychologist) in which I do some side work for at home. We have been working together now for almost 5 years, and although for the most part it is a professional relationship, she has taken a liking to me and has interjected her opinion on a couple of occasions. Yesterday, she started asking me some questions, not realizing that I haven't been as well as I put forth and my finally telling her (this is the 2nd or 3rd time) I am contemplating resigning from providing her services again due to my health status. Well ... this turned into a 40 minute phone call and her telling me she thinks I should contact this person to help me get my SSDI benefits reinstated and that it is "not giving up to lay around and watch television" but to slow down and not try so hard (kill myself) to put in 40 hours for a company that doesn't care anymore and is and has created a toxic environment for the employees. I was a little shocked that she became so verbal in her concern. She mentioned that she would like me to contact the Mayo Clinic down in Scottsdale as they are known for the clinical diagnostic area in which she feels I need currently based on my "long, complex medical history." Her concern really does touch my heart, and it was sort of a slap in the face as to my dragging my feet in recent weeks. Something is wrong, and part of me .... doesn't really want to know what it is anymore .....

Ok ... well ... I really don't have a clue as to what is going on within my body. I don't believe that it has anything to do with my stemmies, other than I can't help but feel maybe I would be dead already without them. My blood sugars have been, if nothing else, the least of my problems in recent weeks as they seem stable and much easier to control .... even on the prednisone. However ... all the other things, and I have been documenting them in a small notebook I carry in my bag. Weeks of temps, aches, swelling, all the nodes that are now showing symptoms ... like my neck ... and my tongue ... along with the one in my groin area. Too much ... today I have been pretty much on the couch all day ... woke up just an hour ago and to be totally honest, could go back to bed for the night within the hour.

My plan is this ... tomorrow if symptoms appear and sustain, and I can bear not taking any Tylenol (Hillary says I need to let the fever ride or they won't treat it as a valid symptom) I am going to drive the 2 hours to Phoenix after work and present to the ER at the Banner Good Samaritan Hospital where the PET scan Center is located. If need be, they can evaluate, and review my records (which I will have with me) and go from there. Enough ... nothing is getting better, and it can't be good that it isn't subsiding or going away.

So ... how is that for reality ?? Part of me wants to, or wishes I could be in a position to undergo another stemmie treatment ... but ... perhaps I can connect with a team down in Phoenix which is interested in what I have undergone (I noticed the Mayo has some trials going on out of MN in this area) .... lots of "under the gun" trials and research is going on in stem cells, it is all in how they word it I guess as to how much they get away with in the US under the guise of politics and FDA rulings.

I'm losing my strength for fight ... being single, alone, and only support is that which is not direct contact, I am not sure what sort of fight this might be. I can't and won't expect Hillary to put her life on hold any longer to wait for me ... PERIOD!! I know she worries, I know she loves me, I know ... she will understand ... and be with me when she can, or if I ask her ... she is my best supporter ... but this too, is our reality!!

Ok ... well ... that is my complaint for today ... thank you, again, for continued prayers and as always .... those who follow me along this journey in which at times I wonder ..... what is the end result suppose to be??

Peace and Light
et

The lymph node saga continues

2011-06-06T20:04:00.001-07:00

Evening all ...

Well, my afternoon was blown out of the water about 1:30 today. I received a call from the local hospital looking to schedule additional tests. OK ... well .... I returned the phone call to have some secretary tell me she was looking at an order to do an ultrasound. I told her, I had this ultrasound done on May 31. She says her order is dated 6/1. She tells me nothing more when I question as to "WHAT" I am being scheduled for. After some investigative questions, she tells me perhaps I should call the doctors office and see what is going on. HELLO .... I didn't initiate this call.

I call my PCP office, knowing she is out of town until 6/20 and that the order was originally for an ultrasound, with follow up biopsy should something show on the ultrasound. Now, we all remember I had the CT scan done of same area the week prior, apparently being told there was nothing out of the ordinary evident. OK ... now I am on the phone with office and getting more and more irritated as each question is asked. About an hour later, I get a return phone call and the woman tells me that my PCP's colleague will/wants to see me tomorrow and we will go over the results of the ultrasound. I ask, "why can't he just tell me what they want to schedule, and what the results say?" She states to me that he "will not talk to me on the phone, I need to come in." WTF .... I told her that I have a follow up appointment scheduled with my own PCP following her return and the original order in my hand as to WHAT was ordered and written. So, WHY, must I waste yet more time out of my work week to come in and "talk in person?" I can't begin to tell you all how irritated and on edge I am regarding the treatment of this little "swelling." This not only occurred almost 3 years ago, and has waxed and waned ever since, even through a couple of surgeries. Now, clearly evident that there is an issue, and twice in the ER in the past month, multiple tests, insurance company telling me they won't pay for a biopsy, yet, 3 screenings later at $$$ and still ... no word, no diagnosis.

All I can say is that I am not going to sleep well tonight, and that tomorrow could very well push me over the edge and contemplating a call to an attorney. If what gets said to me at 11:15 in the morning, no doubt messing with my lunch/work schedule, is not something worthy of my time, I am going to head down the mountain to a Phoenix hospital with reports in tow and I will make contact with an attorney as this is totally unacceptable in the realm of medical treatment. What ticks me even more, is that this sort of behavior in the medical communities is becoming the norm, not the exception. I will state it again, the United States is and has, fallen behind in not only medical treatments, knowledge, expertise, but, as I saw over the weekend on a CNN program, innovation all around, WE SUCK!!! This is NOT reality folks, this is ridiculous!!!

OK ... well ... now that I have spewed that word vomit all over the WWW, I will wish you all a restful, relaxing evening. I am off to a clean bed, with prayers for my sanity and own calming effect to help me make it through tomorrow and what is tossed upon me at that time.

Peace and Light
et

Happy Saturday!!

2011-06-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

Just a quickie ...
Nothing really new to report. STILL no results from the ultrasound this week, doc is out of town, would appear that associates don't really give a "you-know-what" about someone elses' patients. So I will try and hound again on Monday.

In the meantime, breathing still has its moments, steroids, again, making the difference, but I DON'T like the other ill effects. So ... today, is the first day in several weeks, or so it seems, that I am about to venture out for the day and take care of some errands. I have been up for 4 hours, and have done some productive work already, hope I can hold on for a few more hours, get all that needs to be done today done on the outside, and then tomorrow, can relax, putter, and maybe get some of my indoor projects on the final phase.

Wishing everyone a relaxing and peaceful weekend!!

Peace and Light
et

Getting a little ticked off with the local medical community

2011-05-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Let us see how long we can drag out this frustration.

I had another ultrasound done this afternoon, having gone back to the hospital instead of the other "imaging" specialists here in town who did my CT and I was not impressed with them at ALL. Today, we saw two large lymph nodes (yes, even I, not the rocket scientist, but knowledgeable enough to know what I am looking at) on scan. Normally, they are not seen on scan as this large, but can often be seen on a regular basis. However, the tech of course can not tell my anything that she may "think" she sees as she is not qualified to do so, that is the radiologists job. My question is WHY is this taking so long??

This past weekend I had to start yet another round of prednisone or admit to the ER yet again. I received copies of records dating back for the last 5 stays at the local hospital dating back to 2008, for the infamous, non-hernia repair in the same area. This was cleared up in a sense as to the scar tissue being cut away, but only a small, mesh plug used to repair a so-called hernia. Also found in these records was that in 4/10 on an ER visit in which this same area had acted up, a scan showed a DVT, ..... hmmmm ..... why was I not told about this potential danger at the time. This past visit, 5/14 to the ER imaging showed no signs of DVT, but, an irregular EKG, and elevated D-Dimer test, indicating the possible presence of DVT or PE, and multiple "cytes" blood work results in which were elevated and/or low, indicating a problem. That must be what they meant when on follow up they stated your labs came back "relatively normal." WTF is that suppose to mean?? It is either normal or not, and I am not a patient who has ever shown any sort of irregularities in this area of my labs, except on this recent infection called pneumonia in February. I am confused, a bit ticked off, and perhaps need to find myself including Hillary in the fighting process to make sure that I am not being used as a vulnerable oversight when I show up in obvious pain and distress as anyone who knows me, deals with me on a daily basis is wondering how I "do it" these days as these people are stating that they would not know how to keep going day in, and day out, in this fashion, or feeling and looking like I have, SHIT, according to my daughter upon meeting me in the registration area this afternoon.

Ok ... well ... it is almost 8 pm and I have to go to bed as I am exhausted, and tomorrow brings another day at the grind where I am minimally appreciated at best by the uppers recently.

So ... we wait some more. If we don't have any sort of game plan by end of week, my daughter says I am en route to a Phoenix hospital for another opinion.

Peace and Light
et

An absolutely EXCELLENT article from the Boston Globe

2011-05-30T19:23:00.001-07:00

The following article was sent to me by my cousin, Bridget, who has been one of my most faithful, humorous followers over the past couple of years, in part, because I think she "gets me." I hope she knows how much I appreciate all the sentiment, prayer, humor, and outpouring of love I have felt from her contribution to my fight.

She could not have forwarded this info on soon enough given my latest hit of breathing issues, and my having been in bed, or on the couch since I arrived home from work on Friday, and my daughter wanting to drive me the two hours to a Phoenix hospital in search of a diagnosis. I told her I would consider it after tomorrows ultrasound and potential biopsy. Not knowing if one has anything to do with the other, but having done a little more research into my past medical issues and what is happening now. On to the article ....

The article below, a research study by the Joslin Clinic in Boston, to where I too, was consulted on as a child being diagnosed in 1972, and again, when I was pregnant with my daughter, in 1988-89. I have to agree with a good portion of the article. The very first paragraph having been spoken to me and my parents shortly after my coming out of the coma. Was a tad harsh in my recollection, and I believe played a large part in my behavior as an adolescent. As far as the "mother" statements in the article, I couldn't agree more. I know for me, my mother was the one who was willing to learn, put herself in heart wrenching positions, and no doubt, at times, wanted to kill me herself for being so difficult at times. The pioneering spirit of New England, and her own personal tragedies, gave to her the "this is it, let's deal with it" mentality. She too, would tell you today, that I put more than a few of those gray hairs on her head. We did, however, overcome our differences on my health, and my approach to my life and outcome of such, with respect and admiration, research and live and learn. This having been told to me many times over the years. I don't think anyone but a mother, could totally grasp the magnitude of such an affliction, or blessing as some would call it on a family. My father on the other hand, to this day, has no clue as to not only what I have coped with, what the disease process is or the potential outcome of a day-to-day existence, but believes that I can "throw up my insulin" if I get sick. What does a comment like that tell you about realistic comprehension of what was going on right under his roof, for so many years.

Thanks Bee, for tonights blog entry .... I was running out of bitches .... and this information is totally interesting too, given they are now looking into the stem cell area. I feel like a "trail-blazing" woman having gone beyond some of the US research to undergo my recent treatment against FDA approval, and know that there is hope for change, and cure if we could just get past some of the politics.

Enjoy the read:
http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/health/articles/2011/05/30/joslins_study_of_50_year_diabetes_patients_indicates_what_has_made_them_survive_thrive/?page=1

Peace and Light
et

No energy for even frustration

2011-05-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

Remembering this Memorial Day ....

So my frustration is minimal at best.

I am so wiped out just from trying to breathe, never mind walk and talk at the same time. There is something wrong and I am beyond frustration now with what it could be, or why the staff at the local hospital, the doctor, and anyone else who has had their hand in this scenario over the past 8-9 months. I can't think straight, in part due to a lack of breath, which no doubt means not enough oxygen. I began taking prednisone again this morning, only I am not going to be taking it in the high doses started previously. There has been some mild relief, but then too, I have been up all night, and spent all day sleeping on the couch. I get dizzy if I move to fast, hahahah ... like I couldn't get out of my own way if my life depended on it. My daughter apparently talking with her nursing staff last night at work, was suggested that perhaps if not better in the next few days or sooner, that we take a trip to Phoenix and have a more experienced, larger facility do a once over. It would seem that the local hospital, due to budget cuts, staff cuts, etc. is becoming known again as "Yava-die." I have been saying for months, listening to the happenings there with patients and expectations of staff that pretty soon there will be a major law suit. I am hoping it is not mine, but I am seriously considering such due to the length of time issues have gone untreated, and untreated successfully, yet the price to me, not only physically, emotionally, but financially, is beyond belief. ENOUGH!!!

I am scheduled to undergo another ultrasound on Tuesday afternoon here at this local hospital. If nothing is found or investigated to determine what the hell is going on. I will seek that second opinion with all records and results in tow. This latest, or continued down slide has in no way, anything to do with my stem cell treatment. In fact, it is my opinion that had I not had my stem cells I would be in much worse shape right now, if not dead!! It is, at this very moment, I just feel beat, depressed is sort of an understatement, as I do try and remain optimistic, but with the whole just trying to breathe, and getting through a day at work, which BTW, this past week I only made 3 days of 8 hours, and back to falling asleep shortly after arriving home. This is NOT life, especially if you knew the work atmosphere where I am employed. NEVER, in all my years of working, even as a teenager, have I met so many people, work so hard at doing nothing and getting kudos for it while complaining they "don't have the time" or blaming others for why they can't get their jobs done. It is such BS that hell, if I am going to die off soon, I might as well do it while on EIT time, or short-term disability. I'm contributing to killing myself by working for a company who doesn't give a crap about their employees. Although it might seem this has become the American Way. I recently said to HT that I believe this country has really declined in all aspects of life, and what is good. What was once the American Dream, has (in my opinion) turned into American Greed .... hhhmmmmm from where I sit, this is only working for very few, and they reside way up top, looking down on how to screw the little guys. It brings me to a story I just saw on the news a little while ago, about all the people who are suffering following the twisters that have ravaged the mid-section and south this past couple of weeks. Where is their help? This country hasn't followed through on the "words" spoken to those who were effected by Katrina, how many years ago was that now??? It is totally disgusting .... you can't believe anything that is spoken by our government, on any level these days. Along with all those suffering people, children, etc. we have our troops, our Veterans, none of them being cared for in a manner that even remotely measures up to what they, and their families have sacrificed for us, the little people. The health of, the mental health of, our military families are some of this countries most poor. How sad is that ..... ??

I don't know, it would seem that what I am fighting for is never going to happen, and the frustration levels I have encountered, loop holes, political BS, and misinformation is and has become the norm. It will take more than what I can dish out to make any sort of difference, or bring about change.

So ... this has nothing to do with me really, but on this special holiday ... try and reflect what this country was based on, the people who came from other parts of the world to make a new life, not always good, not always bad, but they knew what it was to work hard, protect family, etc. Let's reflect on the ultimate sacrifices made so that we can speak our minds, practice multiple religious beliefs, our freedoms .... and what we could do for them now to not just say Thank you, but perhaps make a gesture that would truly make a difference, be felt, and much appreciated.

Thank You!!
In Peace and Light
et

Giving Thanks on This Memorial Day Weekend

2011-05-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

Greetings to my faithful followers!!

On this Memorial Day Weekend .... I would like to #1 - Thank all those who have given of themselves, their loved ones, etc to defend not only my safety, but my freedom of speech and a few other things I do that would not be possible in other areas of the world. I am forever grateful for your service and sacrifice on my behalf..... and for that, I / we ... should remember ... memorably. I salute you all .... past and present!!!

On another note, given as I have an extra day this weekend to not only push my body and get some much needed things back into place so I can move on to the next project, I can rest and reflect. The last few weeks have been a pure hell for me in regard to getting my body to function at a level that surpasses that of a 90-year-old woman. The inability to breathe at a level that allows for free and fluid movements is frustrating at best. My head has been full of all that allergy crap that makes those who suffer allergies understand. On top of that, all the steroid use, the lymph node swelling and associated maladies that seemed to have moved in to dampen my spirits .... my mind is back to being somewhat blank, a feature in which my daughter is most disappointed as I made almost immediate change for the better right after my stem cell treatment. I am hoping this will be short-lived. Although my endocrinologist was thrilled with my overall numbers this past visit, I, on the other hand, was disappointed I didn't see decline in my A1c. I do know, that it is all directly related to the steroid use, but that still doesn't make me feel better. It is just one more frustration.

With the latest ER visit and related followup visits, and still, no real answers, yet continued weird happenings, i.e., like right now .... my vision has gone haywire again, like that aura sort of stuff you get going on when you suffer from migraines, only I can feel the muscles in my eyes making me feel crossed in the eyes, and then I get dizzy. Hillary swears it is a form of low blood pressure known as orthostatic hypotension as it gets totally undoable if I stand up too fast. Now, for those who know me personally, one could get a vision of me bent over, trying to pull things off the floor level, ass and all and then coming up fast enough to take you right back down again. Yesterday at work, my mouse took a header off the back of the tray under the desk. So I bent forward off my chair, proceeded to crawl under the desk to retrieve the mouse, and bamb ... fell my happy ass right off the chair!!! The whole time seeing "stars" if you will as far as my vision goes. What could I do ... I proceeded to sit there and laugh myself strong again while a couple of coworkers looked and tried to figure out how I landed in such a position.

It is this sort of "cover up" as I am now seeing it, that is bringing me down. I don't want to continue to "piss and moan" about how I don't feel good, it is old, for most of you, but without a doubt, for me!! I try very hard to stay positive, to think that all these issues will pass, as they have in the past, things move forward, life goes on .... but lately, I wonder how long I may be a part of it....?? I take part in this FB page in which transplant recipients talk about what they have been through in regard to the islet transplant, the one in which I was rejected. Now, please, don't take this the wrong way, my goal, as I thought was the majority of this group, was to find a cure!! I am totally thrilled that these folks have made such improvements, being able to go many years now without insulin. However, I am fully aware, more so now than prior, that not all people are candidates for transplants of this manner. One, the antirejection drugs, which were my biggest fear, and I am now so glad I was not taken in as part of the trial. I do not believe I would have fared well. Not only that, I brought to the attention of the board the question about ... what, when this procedure gets FDA approved, will they tell potential recipients??? It takes more than one treatment as it has been proven that one cadaver does not produce enough cells for the transplant to take and be productive. 2. NOT everyone will be eligible for one reason or another, as in my case, a high PRA, making match difficult. Is it fair to lead the public on like this, or for these people, who are amazing in their own right, to now only tout this as the only possible cure??? I have had to step back, due to my frustration levels and the fact that not only in this particular arena, but in my work environment as well, I am frustrated beyond belief with small minded, closed minded, inability to look outside the box and think that there could be more than one way to make the final CURE be a reality for more than just the few who match, or that in the business world, micromanaging doesn't usually work, and causes much stress along the lines of employees who do their job, others jobs, and clean up messes that others create over and over, and yet .... get no appreciation for their efforts, just walked over a little more.

In this aspect, I can see why so many people are frustrated on so many levels today in society. It seems as though (only my opinion at this point) there are no more "sense of pride," "work ethics," moral compass that leads one to do the right thing. It is more ... as doing the right thing, is a matter of who is defining it, and in my opinion, again, it is only defined by those who will benefit first, and only them, and not the big picture, the overall better of the world. Maybe I think on too big a scale, but ... I have been fighting with this small mentality for too long. I can't thank those who I have encountered over the years, doctors, nurses, hospital staff, researchers, people who I have met and become friends, who see the fight at hand, and are open minded to what a potential could mean. It is an issue that I remain passionate about, I am just down, tired, and not sure how to approach the next step. The ultimate vision should be a cure for everyone, not just the ones' who can afford it, or will be the best match, etc .... think about it ... anti-rejections drugs are boku' expensive, not all people react well to them, the match factor, the number of donors needed to make one person a positive "potential" cure ... etc ....

Think about it people .... for anyone who has read research over the years ... the cure is out there and so close. It has been squashed on so many levels at so many times .... not just for diabetes, but for what I feel is cancer, Parkinson's perhaps even AIDS .... so why? .... why? don't the people have this treatment available to them?? I still feel it is the multi-billion dollar cash-cow known as pharmaceuticals!!! we are going to allow them to rule, to run our lives, to kill us all with the side effects which certain agencies let slide and then wind up yanking these great products from the market based on things like "sudden death!!!"

Ok ... well .... I think this ramble has gone on long enough. I try to remain positive, but I must admit, honestly, I feel like I am losing this battle, and in turn, will lose my own battle. I am only one person, a spec in the big scheme of things. I am unsure of how to proceed with this mission I thought I could accomplish in the awareness arena. Life is about to take a new road change .... on so many levels, which road will I take this time? Where will I land? Will I be happy in the end? Will I make a difference, and will anyone really care??

Ok ... well ... More of my own verbiage for me to chew on and ponder ... LOL ..... Thanks to Mrs D. and Aunt Ann for your continued comments and encouragement. Bee and Deb for keeping me in the humor and grounded. Yes, Ann, I am sure, without a doubt my mother would be proud of me .... unfortunately, lately, I am in child mode and would prefer to have her here with me fighting the good fight, or preparing for a trip to the ocean to clear our souls of the negativity. I do thank you for acknowledging her and how she may have felt about me and my fight. She was one of my biggest fans .... and when I am low like this, wish so deeply she was here to talk it all through ... maybe then I wouldn't have to type all this and throw it out into the world wide web areana for all to see and read. However, I do believe, given what I see as to who and where this is all being read, that something I am doing is making a difference somewhere, in someone's life.

A peaceful and enjoyable weekend to all!!!
PEACE and LIGHT
et

Riding the wave .... again

2011-05-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a quick, semi-relief, post ...
Saw the PCP today, not thrilled with what transpired as I have been through this "ride" a couple of times not only with myself, but with my mother as well.

There was "nothing notably abnormal" on the CT. Doc is positive the mass is a lymph node, as am I, just not sure what has it all "blown" up currently as it has been there for almost 3 years now, first being told it was scar tissue, then a hernia, and upon "hernia" repair, being told by surgeon, "I don't think that is what the problem is," However, no guidance, no educated guesses, no directive for follow up ... so I let it be and now I am sitting here with my swollen right leg up on the back of the couch. I am a sexy sight I am .... LOL. The dog is out cold beside me as she too, had a vet appointment today. She fared much better than I even though she got injections in both thighs, she got an excellent bill of health!!

I am looking at a couple of more imaging tests, like another ultra sound. Now this is where I get a little ticked off .... a major money making scam. I was in the ER a little over a week ago (seems like eternity at this point), they did an ultra sound of my right leg looking for a blood clot, when I asked the tech if she could run that probe a little higher and check out the mass, which was also mentioned to the ER doc, she stated "orders are to look for a blood clot, we don't go that high for that." Well ... How f'in stupid is that???
I didn't fall off the truck last night, a blood clot can form anywhere ... especially in the veins and arteries which run through the groin. Why .... WHY do they think people are all stupid!!??? This sort of crap really does elevate my blood pressure as now I must wait for an approval for another ultra sound, the time that takes to clear, then to land an appointment, and again, if something shows, the biopsy, which will require a freaking auth before they do it as well, so it will not be done the same day. Now, why do doctors, insurance companies more, feel it ok to inflict undue anxiety on people? The longer they mess around with this sort of diagnostic BS, I am 1, missing work, 2., still feeling like crap, 3., wondering anxiously about my "stemmie" status, and 4 .... why I still don't feel as good as I did a month after treatment even with pneumonia!!!????

Anyway ... can barely keep my eyes open as I did not sleep very well at all last night, tossing, turning, awake every hour or so, the whole drenching night sweat thing, and sedating myself to what would normally put me to sleep, did not, in double dose. So tonight ..... we SLEEP. .... no help required!!

Thanks to all who follow, suggestions, similar experiences, etc. .... always welcome!!
G'night to all and to all, a G'night!!!

Peace and Light
et

Another 1st Day Back ...

2011-05-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I made it through the day. I am currently exhausted only being home 2 hours. My leg is very uncomfortable. I got a call from the doctor's office, but only to confirm my appointment with her in the morning. I also returned home from work today to find a letter from the insurance company stating that they approved Thursdays CT scan, but would not cover any further tests unless a prior authorization was in place PRIOR to setting a date of service. Now ... here is my take on that one, it would appear that a doctor's order of STAT means absolutely nothing in regard to whether one has insurance or not. That those at the insurance companies, and most of those I will tell you have nothing more than a BS, and that is if we are lucky, calling the shots on MY life, over that of a MEDICAL DOCTOR!!!

Tell me folks, what is wrong with this picture??? I will make sure that someone pays dearly if needed treatment goes undone any longer than it already has. What is the difference in this sort of action in comparison to what some feel is socialist, or communist medical care that goes on in other countries. I have seen this sort of treatment and insurance company BS play out too many times already, and if I too, must be one of thier victims, someone is going to pay, and many are going to hear about it.

I am really tired and am uncomfortable, as my right leg is pretty much been "asleep" since before 3 pm. I will post the so-called findings tomorrow, .... or will try depending on my frame of mind. Hillary and I have had discussions to date, she wants to be with me for my 11:15 appointment, however, an appointment for Maggie had already been made and Hillary will be doing that at 11:30. I will do this one in physical presence, on my own, and knowing I have, again, many people with me in spirit. I know what some of you are thinking, but my Maggie needs to be healthy to look after me as well. She has been in recent weeks sort of clingy and I wonder if it is due to her own allergies, or she senses something wiht me that she can't verbalize. She has been more close, like sleeping on me instead of just near me.

I wish everyone a restful evening ... (If I can't succeed, perhaps you can on my behalf)

Thanks to Mom D and Bee for your comments .... your honesty is much appreciated. :D

Peace and Light
et

PS: I am thinking that in this recent photo of Maggie (above) with a friend of Hilly's, that maybe she doesn't care whose ass she is curled up with .... lol ... she just wants to be one of the girls!!!

Another new beginning

2011-05-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

Good Evening ...

As I sit here ready to hit the pillows as I have to return to work in the morning. Still in discomfort, still with no word of what we may be dealing with yet, I reflect.

In re-reading yesterday's post, I have come to the conclusion that over the years, my trust in family loyalty was very much misplaced. The only loyalty I needed to be concerned with is no longer here. I made no deathbed promises I couldn't keep, or were totally unrealistic. I did what I promised her I would do, I did for her, what she had done for me since birth, what she would be doing for me today, and that is that. As for the loyalty I was disillusioned into believing over the years that in a bad situation we would all pull together and support each other. Oh, how wrong I was on that one ... LOL ... the saying that you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family rings so true. I can honestly say, I have, despite the diminishing of the population over the years, some of the best friends a person could ever be blessed with. I am, and will be, forever grateful for that friendship and love.

With that being said, I am not perfect, I have never claimed to be. I have been hurt, I no doubt have hurt, and I do not go out of my way to hurt people intentionally. I have learned over the years that we are who we are, and often times there are people who do not approve or agree with our outlooks. That is fine, if you don't like me, stay away from me. I too, will do the same. I hardly go looking to associate with those who feel it is okay to hurt others to gain for personal benefit. I have always tried to be true to my feelings, not always playing out to the best situations. But, I recall one situation back in the early 90s in which I had a verbal blow up with a family member, or 2-3 and it cast me out for a long time. Oh well, it's too bad that what I was saying was beyond truth and that this person on some level, still today, thinks that she is all that and more, when everyone knew she was a mental case, yet, let's keep the peace. Oh BS!!! There are times in life when I just can't take this sugar coating of people instead of calling them out on the carpet and making them face the actions they put forth and the reactions or effects those "actions" left on others. I'm sorry, I have no regrets on some of my verbal explosions over the years. I even had my PCP back east tell me at this point in time, (90s) that it would be good for me if I did it more often..... LOL ... I have been known to be a "stuffer," and I can tell you, it doesn't always play out pretty. In that, I have learned that by stuffing all these negative feelings usually blows up into exacerbated hurt instead of just throwing it out there when it is happening, dealing with it, perhaps shed some tears, raise your voice, let it be known, and let it go. I can honestly say that in that respect, those that are in my life on a regular basis, knows this is how I prefer to work. I also know, that some of these loved ones are uncomfortable with this method sometimes. However, I do believe, that we all evolve, and grow from these experiences, and therefore, our relationships deepen. It may also be a reason I am still single. I have yet to meet a man, even the ones I call friends today, that can openly just voice their feelings on a subject without a long, often time, no real response, not sure what this is all about, but it is definitely a "Guy thing." :D

Okay ... I am doing a lot of rambling on lately. Not sure my basis for this, I believe it is an uncertainty about my future. I am having a hard time not knowing what my stem cell status is given the latest developments???

I wish everyone a healthy, happy week ahead!!
"Air Hugs" back at'cha Deb ... I love it!!!

Peace and Light
et

End of the world ...

2011-05-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

As I am still here, coping with all the same BS I was yesterday, and not as well as I expected. I am unprepared, tired, and honestly, scared to death as to how to cope so that my daughter will be taken care of. I know in certain aspects, she is and will, knowing those that truly love her without the restrictions and tallying of who did what for who over her head. She already has more going for her than MOST her age.

I still have had no call on results of the CT, and the insurance company is apparently going to be an issue. If what is being "suspected" becomes reality, there is going to be a lawsuit, and I will win. The woman who acted as my PCP for several years had multiple mis-steps in diagnoses over the years, one landing her a letter from my endocrinologist, whom she felt she knew more than as a Physicians Assistant, and calling me noncompliant for refusing her instructions. She never truly examined the area in question prior to shipping me off for surgery and therefore, I am going to have her charged with negligence along with a couple of other things.

Hillary and I were talking this morning, too emotional. Not that I would expect any one of my siblings, or thier spoiled offspring to make any sort of connection, Hillary will without a doubt, tear a new oriface to any one of them looking for information. They should be careful of the term Karma, in which I have heard the kids throw around, as they have turned out to be very selfish human beings. Not one of them knew their grandmother on a level that my Hillary does/did, or me either for that matter, and never will. My daughter has more knowledge of family history, on so many levels, health, personal, and some of my brothers encounters as well, I don't believe she has ever held this against them as they have turned on me, her mother., and allowed for her to be shut out. SHE has done nothing wrong, but don't think for a minute, she can't hold her own when approached by an adult, unlike some of the offspring. It was okay to just turn and go about your business because my mother was no longer on this earth, leaving me and Hillary to deal with my father, because in their words, "I'm not taking care of him, he was an asshole to us growing up." Now really, LMAO ..... I can't help but laugh when I read this statement in print coming from grown, adult men, pushing 60!!! "childhood issues" .... holy crap!! Hillary has been stepping up more and more lately to help me with him, and he has the capacity to kill us both. Thanks guys for ALL your help. Yes, where my brothers are concerned, I am bitter, disappointed, hurt, and it seems to appear that they will always feel they are right in their actions of this situation, very selfish, childish, and so in need of therapy ... LOL .... as my mother use to say, "Dumb-ass Irish Mentality" .... deny it and it does not exist, so I guess it will all be my fault, except for those who have witnessed the happenings, even met some of my brothers, just to say after the fact, "your brothers seemed like nice guys, but what a bunch of AH's!" .... This really amuses me as I know it isn't me, it is the perception of those that watch from the outside and see it all very clearly. This is no "Walton" family by any means. Motto should be with the going gets tough, the tough get running .... fast, in the other direction, and never look back.

In any event, I can safely say that my brothers will not be a part of this fight, and I don't want ANY negative energy floating around me while I try to fight this, and I am going to be forward by stating this very well may be my last fight. I am very tired, with many things to get information on. I am going to shoot for stem cells to be a part of the treatment, but no doubt until after they kill off every thing else. We will know more this coming week. All I know, is they better get with the program, my aunt was diagnosed with lymphoma and died 2 weeks to the day after diagnosis. We need more info. I have not been well in respect to constantly being tired this past week, the pain which remains from last weeks ER visit, and nausea which has been pretty constant since the prednisone, which is what I associated it with. Apparently too much going on in my body at the same time.

LMAO .... and then wonder why some are predicting the end of the world. Well ... I was all ready to send my naked ass off into the planetary unknown .... yet .... at 6:45 pm ... I still sit here waiting. My dog has been on top of me for over a week, Hillary seems to think she knows something we don/t. I am going to go with she just really loves being close to me. :D

To those who follow, and believe in the more evidence based world. I, again, thank you for your following me. I will be curious as to how I am to manage my diabetes with what is the potential of Tuesdays visit. Sorry this post was sort of rambling .... I have a lot on my mind.

Peace and Light
et

Update

2011-05-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!!

Just wanted to let you know that I had the CT scan done this morning. Not the most pleasant experience, but I survived. I am thinking that the Western definition of STAT, means "when I get around to looking at it." The tech/RN was very nice, comforting, yet could not get a line in after two shots. He called in the "doctor" to do it, That took the next 40 minutes, and him thinking he was funny at this point, I think, stating that it was my lucky day, he hadn't had any coffee yet either, and he wasn't hung over from last night!! I am sorry as I do use humor in trying to cope with some of these unpleasant episodes, but we usually get past the pleasantries first, and get a small grip on the persons involved. This got me to thinking .... was he just being humorous?? I have held up ER staff, OR staff, outpatient nursing and surgical facilities just to get a line going on me. This guy used an ultrasound machine to help guide him and you should see my arm this evening!! and sore, holy mother of God!!! When it was all over, I thought, while driving to my dermatology appointment, which I was now late for, that there was no way in hell that I was returning to this particular facility in the event a biopsy of this area of my body was to be cut open, sucked out, or any other type of dissection. I will ask to go to the hospital, perhaps not much better, but ... I can at least say that my daughter has connections, has networked well, and that most of her colleagues like me and want me to get the best possible care. Needless to say, no word yet. I also have some areas in which were clipped off, frozen to destroy, and several areas on my skin that are now in the 6 month "watch mode" due to irregularities. Nothing new, and I have not been the most compliant in keeping up with my dermatology follow ups.All in all, I made it through the day, a little dazed and confused, and more blank then normal, but ... with the exceptions of the bags under my eyes, perhaps tomorrow will bring a new outlook.

Thanks to all of you who follow my roller coaster life of health care issues. The prayers, the good vibes, the concern, the comments and opinions, they mean the world to me!!!

Peace and Light
et

Yes, I believe in God

2011-05-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone ...

I'm sorry in delay of any recent post.

I have not been feeling well these last 2-3 weeks and been blaming all of these irritating happenings on the effects of prednisone. So allow me to recap ... for the past couple of weeks I have had this unattractive swelling going on all over my body. Along with this swelling came an all over ache, skin itching beyond belief, and a couple of other maladies as some would refer, to which I am just totally down about. All this came to a flying height on Saturday. I had a "to-do" list that was a mile long, working in the yard, spraying weeds, raking dog piles, etc., in a nutshell ... NONE of this occurred!! Instead, I was in pain that even I couldn't handle, every joint I own was inflamed and stiff to the point of non-mobility, I lost my lunch, returned to bed, tried to get up a few hours later to no avail.... I took myself to the ER. Upon arrival I thought, great, I might get in quick, no such luck. I was taken in immediately for triage and then proceeded to spend the next two hours going from one chair to another trying to find comfort only to land in a make-shift couch curled up, yet again, in the fetal position. It was 6:35 pm when I was finally escorted back into a room. By this time, my attempt to fight off tears was fairly obvious as I had been "dripping" into my sweatshirt while curled up.

The doctor came in and assessed what had been going on, prednisone, my stemmies, the pneumonia, etc. ... a line was started but no fluid was given, lots of blood was drawn .... then I was hit with a big ass dose of morphine and Toradol together. I started to feel groggy, and eventually began to feel my body relax. A little while later (time meant nothing to me now) the nurse came in and informed me I had a fever and administered some Tylenol. At this point, Hillary had come down off her shift on the 1st floor to see what was happening and let me know that she got the ok to leave early and be with me. I told her she could return as I was groggy and we were waiting on tests to be done. She eventually came back to be with me after my nurse told Hillary that the doctor had checked "every box on the lab sheet" (sort of giving way that he had no clue). After a chest X-ray, EKG, and an ultrasound of my right leg, (this seeming to be where they began to put focus due to the pain taking precedent on the right side) no blood clots were located. That, apparently seemed to the the number one thing they wanted to rule out due to the swelling, and excruciating pain I was feeling in places like EVERY joint, especially behind my knees, my hips, shoulders, neck, and lower back. My tongue was also swollen as it had been for a little over a week. Co-workers had noticed my words seemed slightly slurred, Hillary noticing that not only my speech being jumbled, but that I was again dropping things .... like I did prior to my stem cell treatment.

All of this I find a little depressing given as to how well I felt for the 3 weeks post-stemmies. Then the pneumonia stay, the allergy induced asthma and all the prednisone. Now .... what I get this morning. I had a 10:30 am with my PCP, a bump up from Thursdays' appointment. After what seemed like a long recap of my ER visit, and last weeks appointment, review of the blood pressures, etc, she examined my key point areas of pain. A mass, which has been an area of complaint for me for the last couple of years, being told by the last PCP (the one mentioned a couple of times in previous posts) which was surgically opened to repair a so-called hernia, is now a massive area of concern. I was told by previous PCP this was a hernia, with little to no examination and sent to a surgeon, who did go in and repair a VERY small hernia in which he stated to me did not require surgical intervention and that he "didn't believe that was the problem." That was it, no suggestions, no follow up. ..... my life goes on. After she poked, probed, prodded, and made some not so encouraging facial expressions, I was asked if she could do labs?? Geezzz ... didn't we get what we needed on Saturday? She drew to check for Valley Fever, something that seems to be prominent out here in the desert. It is a fungus that blows around in the dirt out here and apparently can cause some pretty nasty residuals. You never really get rid of it, you will always be a carrier. It is not contagious, it is just blown around in the dirt. OH FLIPPIN' JOY!!! Along with that, as people who carry Vally Fever, should not be on prednisone .... (this became a red flag for me), but ... that nasty lymph node which presented a couple of years ago and the lame diagnosis by the PCP who had not once done a full exam, is back to haunt me. Along with a few of the other symptoms in which I presented, I am now being ordered to under go a CT and needle biopsy of the lymph nodes.

I'm scared, unsure, and very tired. I believe in God, a higher power, bigger than I, one who has kept the ultimate eye on me for many years, and yet, here we go again. What happened to that golden phrase my mother always told me when I felt things were getting to much .... "God only gives us as much as he knows we can handle." Guess what .... I have been handling one thing after another for what seems like ... a lifetime. When will it stop, a small reprieve, a short time to enjoy life on my own terms??? Perhaps some healthy outings, some casual travel, a little time on the beach again, maybe even fall in love??? Some big dreams perhaps, but some of these "dreams" have kept me going for a long time, dreaming isn't quite doing it anymore without the physical ability to pull it off.

I am awaiting the call as to when this will happen, my guess is it will not be today as they need to get an insurance auth, but possibly tomorrow. Hillary has left town for a couple of days and .... well ... I will need to pull up my big girl panties and go it alone. Some things, I get very anxious about, I think this is going to be one of them, and my "happy place" seems to be further and further in the distance, hard to imagine, what will I do if this comes back more than I am capable of handling at this particular point in my life??? I have many questions ... and more of them seem to be about my own abilities to carry on with dignity, humor and grace ...

Got to go feed my baby-dog ... she is right here at my feet, and has been pretty much on top of me for the last few days ... think she knows something I don't ??

Peace and Light to All!!!
et

A week from hell ...

2011-05-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Saturday Kids!!

Well ... all I can say is it has been a week from hell.
I seem to be undergoing changes which I can only attribute to the prednisone use for 8 out of 13 weeks since my stem cell treatment. As I had stated last week, my endocrinologist told me another 4-6 weeks before my body clears it. Okay, I had shown her the effects of the swelling going on, to which in this past week has exacerbated beyond what I anticipated, and far more than I can handle. Along with all the physical issues going on, like the constant throbbing in my legs, to which at this moment, my right leg is aching and throbbing from the top of my foot up to behind my knee and is beginning to work it's way up the back of my thigh. This is uncomfortable beyond description for me. I have also been incredibly cranky, irritable, down right bitchy!!! and my daughter will tell you as much as I have been saying it, this is NOT me!! (Don't get me wrong, I love to bitch). This is random and extreme, (words of my daughter to help in describing to my PCP on Thursday).

I came home from work on Tuesday, called in sick on Weds., went to see my PCP on Thursday morning, did an afternoon at the office, and only a 1/2 day yesterday. I can't stand myself, I can't imagine how those around me feel about me currently, no doubt wanting to duck tape my mouth shut. Every morning this week, I have come close to getting out of my car and chocking the shit out of someone who seems to be in this incredible hurry to get someplace. I'm sorry, but weaving in and out of traffic because you didn't leave in time for work is not my problem!! Along with that, WHY must you think you can handle driving, as well as talking on the phone, texting, putting on your mascara, and still feel the need to speed and weave??? Perhaps you should leave a few minutes earlier and consider traffic, better yet, JUST BE LATE!!! Not always a woman either, my finger has flown out the window along with a few choice words to these people in the past week in which no real change was made as they continued to weave their way to the next red light only to have to stop. WHY ... I ask is there never a cop around in times like this?? Traffic is heavy enough that people like this certainly stick out. I am so irritable, that I want to just smack the next stupid person I encounter. Slap them into reality, life is NOT all about you!!! I am in it too, and I am trying really hard to live it out a few more days!! So smarten up!! People seem so rude out here at times. Men especially(not all of them, but a good majority), like their mentality is I should be barefoot, pregnant and fetching them their next Budweiser, otherwise I am just taking up space!! Not this one pal!! If you ram my ass with a carriage at the grocery store I expect an "excuse me" or an "I'm sorry." All I ever get out here is no eye contact, and I was in THEIR way. Common courtesy and street smarts are not all that common in this area from what I have experienced and it is wearing pretty thin on me, especially under the influence of this "roid rage." Now, I'm not using this as an excuse, but the spewing of my emotions, or what I am thinking at any given moment has certainly come out of my mouth like "word vomit" in the past couple of weeks. I cry at the drop of a hat, for no reason, and if you were to ask my daughter, I don't cry enough, and lately over stupid stuff ... like watching Toy Story 3 .... REALLY!?!!??

Earlier this week I consulted with a colleague at work, a psychiatrist, in which I trust his judgement and overall knowledge. I feel he is one of the best doctors we have on staff, and personally, don't think he would steer me in the wrong direction. He told me that the effects of prednisone can cause manic symptoms. Hillary spouts back with "she is SO not manic!" His response to that is that there is also something called "irritable mania." I thought he was teasing me ... he WAS NOT!!! I don't believe there is any sort of mania going on here ... LOL ... or my house would be flippin' spotless at this point!! All I know, is that I am cranky beyond belief and my body hurts to the point where it feels like it is going to explode due to the swelling going on, and it is BAD!! I feel like a freakin' Macy's Day parade balloon the last few days but lunchtime. Ok ... so I go to the PCP on Thursday morning, she is telling me she doesn't think it is the steroid..... hello!!! Let's not go looking for anything else that it could be when the evidence, and symptoms clearly point to the steroid use. On researching even deeper, all the things that have happened recently, the heartburn, itching, vomiting and nausea, can all be attributed to the prednisone. My colleague also stated, which parallelled info I got off the Mayo Clinic website, is that I was told 4-6 weeks, but that in some patients it could take months!!!

All my labs came back normal with the exception of my A1c. She did do a urine test the other day, not sure what the results of this was. She places me on HCTZ (A BP/diuretic combo) and Ativan for a week and asks me to check my BP twice a day as that too, has elevated. I NEVER have elevated blood pressure, if anything it is low and I suffer from that whole dizzy thing if I get up too fast, i.e., orthostatic hypotension. She asks me about hormones, and history of depression. I am all to familiar with depression having suffered several bouts since childhood, and know the signs. She states "I don't want you to fall through the cracks." Again, really?? There is a family history of both high blood pressure and depression. My point is this person treated me with large doses of steroids and all these symptoms clearly relate to that treatment. I am not, nor have I ever been a text book patient, why would it start now?? I see her again on Thursday. My colleague states that "it will go away, and I will return to normal", however, I find that a rather vague outlook. I want more details as what I am experiencing is so far beyond pleasant on so many levels, I am having a hard time coping. He wished me luck, and Hillary the BEST of luck. (I'm thinking, and know, that she is taking the brunt of my bad moods and I don't mean it). I am just unpredictable on so many levels I find it safest to withdraw, or just go to bed as anything that I want to get done, is no doubt going to irritate me as I want it done when I ask you to do it, like the yard work I asked to be completed this week so I could go out and mow and spray this weekend. Not done, my irritation beyond boiling point at the moment. It is best for me to walk away, or better yet, just go to bed and put my legs up as they really are beyond painful.

OK ... I have asked a couple of my docs about the affect on my stemmies. All I get for response is "well, with no real data available, we can't tell." Again, too flipping vague for my liking. There is data out there somewhere, again, not in the US, but somewhere they are keeping track. I am at a point, and it could be my state of mind on this crap currently, how long should one continue to fight?? I want to undergo the stem cell treatment once more and see if I get the results I feel I should have had the 1st round had I not gone into it fighting infection to start. I do blame that on the PCP I had prior to 12-10 as she was only interested, in my opinion in making quota and collecting a copay. She should have ordered a chest x-ray long before I had one done, in the ER, 4 months later!!! Again, a mess up on her part that I am paying for. It is these sorts of establishments who call themselves health professionals that really burn my ass!!! If it is all about money, I really do mean nothing, so why would they care about any positive result?? The more a patient comes back, the more cash added to the cow. Let's prescribe useless medications, with high costs and exorbitant side effects ... yeah .... that is how we make a living .... to hell with the patient or better put #12345, because on so many levels, that seems to be what most are to good percentage of todays' providers. I can say I have been lucky to have encountered what I feel to be a large number of forward thinking doctors and nurses, and teachers, who see where I am coming from. However, this is NOT what they are taught to bring forward and to me .... that should be considered a crime!!!

On that note, I am taking my cranky person to the shower (I will try not and drown her) and then ... well ... will see which direction I head.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!
Peace and Light (and personally wishing for some tranquility)
et

Something to look at ...

2011-05-09T05:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.diabetespower.org.uk/

Check this site out!! This young lady is amazing in her determination to promote awareness.

I can attest, I didn't have this sort of outlook when I was a kid. I was all about the "why bother," life looked pretty grim for me, and there didn't seem to be a cure or better treatments in sight. Science has come a LONG way since the 70's, now lets get this moving so we CAN see a cure in our life time. If for no other reason, how about so the children of today, have a much more positive outlook on tomorrow!!

These people gather and share experiences on the FaceBook page "Pancreatic Islet Cell Transplant Recipients." This is an open page to gain knowledge, share experiences, etc.

I hope everyone has a great day ... I am still feeling incredibly achy and stiff with my head feeling much too heavy to carry around on my shoulders. Not sure how much of the day I am going to get in, but I will give it my best shot.

Peace and Light to all!!

Guess who caught the latest "crud"?

2011-05-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

Good Evening, I hope all the Mom's had a wonderful day, as I am sure each and everyone of you deserve it. Personally, I think we should at least get a long weekend.

I wasn't as productive as I had hoped to be this weekend. Yesterday was a bust with the traveling around to get errands done. Today, well ... I haven't felt so great since Friday afternoon. It would seem that a new line of "crud" is going around and I think I am in the early stages. Belly is sort of angry. I am still dealing with the prednisone issues. My blood sugars have been a little on the high side today too (we all know this could indicate illness, infection, etc). I am really starting to wonder how much all of this is affecting my stemmies. In spite of the improved gut, the swelling and an obviously lowered immune system seem to be winning. I am so bloated, and swollen (you can see how much by the tightness in my skin) which is totally gross in my humble opinion. I am still from head to toe. I am about to head off to bed soon, as soon as my blanket is done in the dryer. :)

We are are having some work done on the house this week and are slowly weeding through stuff that isn't all ours since we moved in 2 years ago. However, I don't see us getting near what we want to done due to $$ and well, no man around I can call my own...LOL... or to hand the Honey Do List off too. I am SO much better in the stamina department since treatment, but still, get run down seemingly fast. Now this ... ?? Really, it seems never ending sometimes. I am going to be posting a link here in the next day or two to a site out of the UK by a young woman (and her mom too, I believe) who is absolutely amazing in her knowledge and drive to promote awareness of Type 1. She has been posting on the Islet Transplant site on Facebook. Wonderful site with lots of people undergoing, underwent, or looking to take part in the Islet Cell Transplant Trials. These folks are amazing and I wish them such success. They have been doing very well and it is exciting to watch the progress, and the human spirit in motion, as well as the fears and anxieties that come along with this sort of undertaking having lived with this disease for as long as some have. This was the trial in which I was rejected from based on my elevated PRA. :( I often wonder what I would be like now if I had been able to participate??? Just a "what if" question.

Ok kids ... this old lady .... heheh ... is about to hit the pillows hard. Not sure how work will go tomorrow, I feel that uncomfortable right now so will have to play it by ear, or gut and body.

I wish everyone a restful evening, and a wonderful week ahead!!

Peace and Light
et

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

I wish all my followers, the fill-in Mom, the friends and family who are mothers a VERY HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!!! I wish for all to feel the love and admiration placed upon us as mothers, even when we are not the most popular on any one particular subject.

Enjoy YOUR day!!!

Below is an article I was just reading, thought some of you may find it interesting. Copy and Paste the address into your browser.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-08-02-stem-cells_N.htm

I would love to find a way to get myself into a job position in which I could help the researchers, the makers of the technology to bring the cells to life, i.e., Adistem, etc, I have the background, I now have the personal experience, how about the data needed to make this a reality in the states?? I am dumbfounded by the info that can be found with the institutes abroad that are collecting data, and going places. I WANT to be a part of this. Anyone have info on this area?? I would love to get more info, or direction as to how I could obtain this information. If the US isn't going to take this further, I will find a way to get to where scientists, doctors, and society, etc are willing to get it to the people who need it.

Again, I am always open to comments, educational information, other outlooks, etc. We are never too old to learn, and as a society, we must open our minds to what the potential long term effects will show.

In good health!!
Peace and Light
et

Emotional Overload

2011-05-06T20:31:00.002-07:00

Good Friday Evening to Everyone!!

Ok .. well, I guess I haven't checked in all week. So shall we recap the week? As I sit here not knowing if I am hot or cold, feet and lower legs continue to swell, overly emotional, not knowing if it is because it is Mother's Day weekend, or residual prednisone "rage.

Now, I was hoping that all this prednisone crap would have been out of my system by now, NOT!! Might as well start the weeks recap with my trip to Phoenix on Monday to see my endocrinologist.

She was thrilled to see my numbers in spite of the labs revealing an A1c of 8.1!! I was not thirlled with this, but I knew it was all related to the prednisone. She too, tole me that it would be another 4-6 weeks before my body was clear of the steroids. Four to six weeks of this ... the bloating, the achey joints, the emotional spurts. I am thinking that some of the emotions are coming to surface just because it is mother's day. My mother has been gone from this plane for almost 3 years now (10/08)and not a day goes by that she is not in my thoughts, or something that happens doesn't throw a reminder at me as to what she missed out on seeing. My undergoing the stem cell treatment, which I just know she was with me on the day in February, the upcoming graduation of Hillary with her RN, and no doubt a hundred other things that will happen in the future that she would have loved to have been a part of. I am not sure, perhaps it is in part a combination of the prednisone and the emotions that keep creeping in on so many levels. I am a big girl now and should be able to cope with the loss of my mother at my age, I understand it all on the levels involved, sometime, I just ... get lost in the "what ifs." Life for me never seems to be predictable. I sort of like that predictable, so I don't get tossed into the realm of chaos, which is where most of my life seems to go.

Back to the appointment, I was not happy about the next month and anticipated uncomforable aches to come. Dr. Phillips was very happy that my numbers reflected much fewer lows, and when I did have a low (4) they were caught well before the critcal level and came back faster and not with the overboard high rebounds. That too, was a positive. I told her about how I was no longer on my Cymbalta for the pain of neuropathy and fibromyalgia, that my gut was doing amazingly well and a benefit I did not expect. We discussed what being on the steroids for 8 weeks out of the last 12 since treatment may have played on the effect of the stem cells?? With no real data currently to evaluate the effects of any such treatments, it will have to be a wait and see. I am hoping to undergo a second treatment with in the next 7 - 12 months and am working with those involved to see that it happens as hoped. All my other labs came back within a normal range. That always makes doc happy. My thyroid, my cholesterol, and kidney function tests were all within or below the levels for a long term diabetic. She also told me that as long as I was staying hydrated and that I was getting rid of it on a higher than normal range (whizing) that it would and/or should be ok. I worry about taking steroids for anything due to the fact they wreak havok on the body. This is something that always bothers me with phramaceuticals. Think about some of the ads we see on television these days ... the side effect list is often times so long, with effects that are far worse than the problem to be treated why would we want to take some of this stuff?? I have learned how to use a lot of natural products to treat many things that have come up over the years. Now these can have side effects as well depending on the problem, and the natural treatment, however, in my opinion, it is well worth trying this sort of fix first than dish out an astronomical amount of money to figure out that you can't take something, or that it didn't work for you, or worse, you suffer some of these horrible, ill effects that will no doubt trigger another issue.

The encounter was very positive. She stated that considering how sick I was, stating "you were VERY sick, you needed to be on this stuff" I looked great!! I still feel pretty good given how sick I was, but I looked really good that first 3-4 weeks after treatment. I feel that the effect of that has diminished somewhat, and that could just be how I feel both physically and emotionally currently.

Work has been incredibly stressful for me lately. I don't know what to do as I feel this place is being run by the monkeys. Too much lack of communication, too much of the upper echelon trying to micro manage to the point of outright stupidity. People who don't and won't share the information needed for so many other people to get thier jobs done in not only a timely manner, but within compliance as well. I can't help but feel it is a sinking ship with all this budget BS going on in the state of AZ and multiple staff members leaving or have already left. Some of us, and in my department alone, I can count the people who have busting thier asses to cover others who work so hard at doing nothing, yet still have a job. I have found out personally that the whole "open door" policy they have is complete and total BS!!! I don't trust the HR person as far as I could throw them and that isn't very far. Another supervisor, caught in outright lies, I have asked what I would have to do to get fired ... damn ... apparently it is an open game!! I am just not sure how good this is for me, I want to work, I have worked hard to go back to work after 10 years of being considered disabled, and just wait around to die. Again, BS ... I would like to continue my education, perhaps in an area that would push me into this science I have become so passionate about. But ... How?? What can I do, where can I apply what I know, to put my best professional foot forward to get it here to help others?? Part of me really would consider moving to another country if I thought for one minute I could make a difference.

Basically, the rest of the week was pretty uneventful. We had 3 trees, and 10 shrubs planted this week to try and privatize our little corner lot. I like my privacy, I would like more seclusion as far as property, but ... this is the dream dump I will most likely die in. Hillary is my co-owner and she isn't looking to stay here as she is growing old of the mentality in this state as well. I don't really care where I call home. Home is were I lay my head at night, where I can come home and feel safe. I have made some wonderful friends, but, I also left some wonderful, long-term friends when I left the east coast. My daughter keeps telling me that to find a "date, you have to leave the house." Well, she may be right, but I work hard all week, I want to be able to come home and be comfortable in my surroundings, work on my own personal space, and then share it with my friends. I live a very simple life, I don't need any more out of this world excitement. Companionship is something I have missed for many years. In part, I think, is that others can find me intimidating, so I have been told. I have been accused in past relationships of ... well ... being too independant, not needy enough, or my all time favorite, you're an enigma .... LMAO .... it's not you, it's me. Whatever, I have come to a point in my life where this sort of encounter means a waste of my time. I am the person I am, I can't help it. Part of who I am today is based on the situations I have overcome, and ... as I type for the entire world to read, have some trust issues ... although I have tried hard to overcome these lurking intrusions, there are still some people who will take advantage of any situation if they think it will benefit them. I try not to go there first, but you know that there is a saying for that too ... fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice ... or something like that.

Ok ... well ... it is WAY past my bedtime tonight and I am totally exhausted so will be headed for LaLa Land with my fur ball, poor thing has terrible allergies going on. She is literally laying on the couch beside me with her head hanging off and snoring like no man I have ever known. I feel so bad for her as she can't complain to me, and I am not sure, but I think I can relate to her discomfort.

On that note ... I wish everyone a very restful evening, and a very happy Mother's Day weekend!!

Peace and Light
et

New Spring look

2011-05-01T10:18:00.002-07:00

Spring is upon us and it has been heating up here in the desert southwest.
I will be heading out to do some more cleaning up in the yard to prepare for my new trees and shrubs coming to be planted on Tuesday morning ... I can't wait to see this new outlook on our bare corner lot. We should have done this when we had the house placed ... again, live and learn.

Changed the page outlook to reflect my outlook for the spring ... and blue is one of my favorite colors!! All the shades of blue ... reminds me of the ocean I seem to be so far away from the past 11 years. I will be commemorating 11 years here in AZ in July ... doesn't seem possible given all the things that have happened and transpired over the years. I was asked this past week on a phone call from an old friend from back east, would I ever return? Absolutely not!! I have no desire to return to that sort of weather, my body would not tolerate it, especially the long, cold, damp winters. I would not live long returning to the East, which was in part why I was written the letter by my doctor back there to get me to a place like here. I am, however, contemplating going somewhere else within the next couple of years as Hillary has plans to head off in pursuit of her "trauma" training in the nursing field and expanding her education and career. So ... I wonder where I will land. A large part of me would like to relocate to Europe somewhere, but I have no clue as to how to accomplish that legally and be able to work, other than marrying ... LMAO ... and that is SO NOT in the cards as life sits currently.

Ok ... with that tidbit out there, I am taking my very sore body out into the yard for a while as HT is sleeping and I need to call it an early night with the 4 hours drive time I need to put in tomorrow along with working the morning. Will try and update on the happenings of my appointment soon.

I wish everyone a wonderful day!!
Peace and Light
et

New Followers

2011-04-30T19:33:00.002-07:00

Just wanted to give a shout out to David, my newest follower here on the page. Please feel free to make comments as I see you too, have undergone treatment using your bone marrow. I would love to know how you responded, and changes that perhaps you have undergone. We could do comparisons of the treatments.

I will say that I was overjoyed to know that I could have my treatment done without the totally invasive treatment involving the bone marrow withdrawal, or having to spend a long time in a country I was unfamiliar with and having to do it alone.

Thanks again for tagging along. Together, along with Kathy, who underwent the Islet Cell transplant via trial here in the states, is doing wonderful!! and Sandra, whose son also underwent an adult stem cell treatment and he too, continues to thrive!!! For Sandra's son, G, I wish the very best as he is still a young boy who shouldn't be held back in any way, shape, or form, I continue to believe and have the passion to pursue this science and hopes for a cure.

Again, together, we can make a huge difference. It takes the whole village, and our voices to make a dent.

To all those readers/followers who do so annonymously, I appreciate your looking in as well. I remain totatlly amazed that so many, from all over the world, yesterday I had more readers from Japan than I had here in the states, Canada pulled up with the 3rd largest group of hits. This really does blow me away being just a lower-middle class, hard working, minimally college educated, single mom, and above all, a woman trying to survive the best way I know how, making some sort of difference, if nothing else .... promoting awareness!!!

With continued good health to all!!
Peace and Light
et

Strange inflamatory responses

2011-04-30T09:35:00.002-07:00

Hello All!!

I have had some strange inflammation going on this past week. I am concerned about it being directly related to the prednisone I have been on for so many weeks since my treatment. It will be 3 months (12 weeks) on May 9th that my treatment was done. I am already prepared to undergo it again given what my body has endured since this time.

Going into treatment fighting that URI and subsequent pneumonia was no doubt not in my best interest. Then again, I get to thinking about it and think it is the doctors who had been treating me since December who should have thought to do a chest X-Ray!!! I am so glad that the people, one in particular, is no longer my PCP given the 3-4 times she has totally mistreated certain encounters. First the trying to prescribe a Type II drug because my A1c came back high and when I refused the threatened me with noting my "noncompliance." WTF .... these people with the professional degrees have some out-of this-world ego going on. When I explained to her that I was a type I and that drug could kill me she blew me off like I didn't have a clue!! Well, I soon found myself a new Endocrinologist given my PCP was so totally uninformed it was not something I was going to deal with. This endocrinologist at the time wrote a not so nice letter to this provider. Point made, but my future encounters with this woman were far from pleasant, like my wrist, which turned into a totally incorrect treatment, my foot, which landed me in a boot for 4 months due to her "knowledge." Ok ... in any event .... This past week my lower legs, from the back of my knees down have been swollen to the point of pitting edema by the time I get home from work. My ankles have ached, my hands are somewhat swollen, neck is stiff again .... all this had completely disappeared after treatment. I haven't taken anything except a couple of Tylenol since treatment until this past week. I don't know what it could possibly be other than the being on all of this steroid based prednisone for so many weeks since treatment and the subsequent withdrawal from my system, the last dose being only a week or so ago. Any ideas?? I know the allergy response this season has been beyond belief for almost everyone I have encountered.

I am sort of at a loss. The good thing, I think, is that I have to travel to Phoenix on Monday afternoon for an appointment with my endocrinologist. I know she is not going to be happy that my most recent A1c came back at 8.1!! I was not thrilled with that result either given what I have invested and the overload of steroid drugs since. Come on really...??? Does she really think this is the outcome I was hoping for?? I will be open, honest, and continue to search for better ways to deal with some of my issues. Remember, these are my issues, although we may share some, I only share the things that I have found work for me. That doesn't nessasarily mean that they will work for you. I will continue to say that my gut improvement since treatment has been out of this world. I can't get over the response and I had no idea that this result would happen, I didn't even think of the gastroparesis as an area of benefit. I thought "side effect, long term effect." Who would have imagined that this area would be one of the first to respond?? It has made such a difference in my stabilizing blood sugars as with motility, comes digestion, comes movement, comes eventual stability due to the absorbtion properties!! All good stuff!!

I am going to have to wait 7-12 months before another treatment, this is my goal, and suggested time frame. I will need to figure out how to finance this venture having been so blessed the first time around with the generous donation, I can't expect that to go on. I would love to work for this company, not only for the belief I have in the applied science, but because I received such great care. Compassionate, caring, and truely amazing care for me as a human being. I felt no pressure, no fake or red flag raising comments that would lead one to search elsewhere. Which I encountered with the first couple of organizations I contacted. The International Stem Cell Institute was a very informed, very legitimate, and positive outcome based organization. We must remember that as consumers it is up to us to do the research, go with your gut, go with research, but know that everyone responds differently and perhaps your outcome may not be as positive as anothers, or you may respond totally opposite and reap benefits, like myself, you had no idea could or would happen. This is what I find so amazing about science. The theroy and application process in which we get our results.

Ok folks, I have some yard work to attempt and my creepy neighbor is out back which will keep me out of that area for a while, but there is still the front area to accomplish.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend!!
Be well!! Peace and Light
et

A heart-felt Thank you to my readers ...

2011-04-26T21:13:00.002-07:00

Good Evening !!

I just wanted to make a quick post this evening before I call it a night.
Work days continue to be long, and at times irritating in this strange economy and working for a non-profit trying to come into the age of EHR, and not doing the greatest job in the organization of such.

In any event, my life goes on, and the stamina is coming back. In what appears to me to sometime just be venting on my life, and the political BS involved in health care, and of course, my passion, the adult stem cell area, as well as the biotech companies, the scientists, the organizations that are striving in this time to get the science and treatments to the people, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those people who have followed me from the beginning of this phase of my journey. It so completely blows me away to see that as of today, the areas of the world, YES, I said the world, that has been reading and hitting my page on a daily basis. Today alone, we had hits from the US, Japan, Russia, Denmark, Canada, Malaysia, Australia, etc., it amazes me the people who are seeking information on the stem cell phenomena and that they land on my blog and find something to hold them, and keep them coming back.

I can't thank you all enough for checking in on my knowledge, my passion, my experience, and updates on the stem cell treatment I underwent almost 12 weeks ago. I can't get past what has happened in the past 11 weeks. May 9th will be the 12 week mark. The positives have so out weighed the negative, which I went into the treatment with. I am so looking forward to seeing what the next 4-6 months hold not only in my stabilizing, but my preparing for a second treatment, in which I hope for the big changes to happen. I still consider my first experience to be exceptionally positive in results even though I went in to it fighting an upper respiratory infection, which turned into pneumonia, and what was pumped into my body over that time and yet ..... I still show signs of improvement. I need to start pushing the H2O intake as the weather here in the desert southwest heats up. I have noticed that I seem to need and/or want more water than any other beverage. For several weeks after treatment I had no desire for coffee, my beverage of choice in any form, hot or cold. Just couldn't do it, but the water, it has helped in the overall stabilizing of my skin, my kidneys, flushing out that darn infection which was slowed by prednisone taper ... finally off of that for one week, so I can only hope for the next few weeks to get better.

Again, my deepest appreciation for all of those worldwide followers who have found my rantings somewhat helpful ... ??? Informative ...??? I am, as I have stated from the beginning of this venture, open to questions, comments, etc. I live for discussions with people who get not only the diseases that could benefit from this science, but for those who live with, or have a loved one afflicted with Type 1. My passion remains the same, that we find a cure, find a better method of treatment that will allow kids to be kids while they can and not force them into an adult, potentially morbid reality at an early age. It is a life NO child should have to endure. (I often think this plays a large role in my childlike laughter at times.)

I wish you all the very best for the information you seek, and the people you seek the knowledge for.

With much gratitude for your support and encouragement in my journey.
Peace and Light
et

TIME magazine article 3/17/11

2011-04-24T09:12:00.002-07:00

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2059521_2059712_2059711,00.html

Very cool stuff ... but then you knew I was going to say that!! Great read!! The above link is to a TIME magazine article dated 3/17/11, luck of the Irish!!

Have a wonderful day!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss my mother most on days like today ... Friday would have been my parents anniversary, and again, I wonder how she tolerated his BS for the 60 years they were together. She is without a doubt, rejoicing on this day!!!!

I have to do "dad" duty ... so I am taking him to dinner. I am not in the mood to cook and listen to the constant complaints about everything on the planet and then having him get all teary and whiney ... ggggrrrrr .... this has gotten so old and so totally tiring for both myself and Hillary. Gee ... I sure hope my siblings never have to depend on their children to care for them ... they are so totally confident that their children would never do something like that. Seems to me, that the apples haven't fallen to far from the tree in certain aspects. I have also noticed in the past couple of months that the "children" of the siblings have been taught to behave in the same manner. Easier to walk away. One problem I see is the children shouldn't never have been involved. My daughter has done more for her grandparents over the years than any one of the others, and it had NOTHING TO DO with geography!! It is history repeating itself all over again. Too bad some people can't learn from the mistakes made in the past. Open communication is still my ultimate weapon, and yet, so many can't do it, don't even want to try. God forbid one experience any sort of discomfort, pain, etc. How about .... resolution!!?? I have come to the conclusion that it is their loss, not ours, as we sleep well at night, and know that we have done all we can to do the right thing, morally, ethically, humanly possible, and not based on some unrealistic, child-like promise someone made. I do, however, find it very hard to believe that my siblings have no real feelings on family. That it is just easier for them to "walk away" than it is and/or was to deal with the problems that presented themselves. Seek therapy ... LMAO ... as you have hurt others, namely me and my daughter, and it will take a whole lot more than "I'm sorry" for you to fix what has been done.

Deep down, I really feel sorry for people who can't cope with their feelings, or those that appear to have none. A key element of life ... the so-called "Faith" that certain individuals place out into the world are not really the acts of the faithful ... more like the acts of those who have been brainwashed, and believing that their actions are all okay. It is my opinion, that faith, based on any sort of religious background goes much deeper than reciting scripture, how about living and treating others as we ourselves want to be treated. There is so little of that in today's world that it is truly sad. Money and status should not make us look down on those who don't possess those qualities. I continue to believe in karma, that what I put out into the world will come back to me 10-fold, as it has in so many areas of my life. I will not however, hang out the walk all over me sign. I am just saddened that my own blood-relatives, my siblings, are so cold hearted that they see no harm in their behaviors over the past couple of years. I called my father this morning to let him know what time I would be there to pick him up and take him to dinner and then to the store for our weekly stock up. Isn't it wonderful that a sibling called on this Easter, I often times wonder why?? It isn't like they really give a crap about what is going on, or that my father could coherently make any sense of anything he may have heard or been told in the past weeks. All he does is complain constantly about crap he has no control over, give me, give me, give me ... I have a very hard time dealing with this mentality lately, and again, would seem as though some move throughout life with just motions, no real depth, no real feelings, no real passion ... sad.

Oh well ... I have some grouting to do today. My window sills are looking pretty cool as I finish up the tiling of them. Makes it easier to keep them clean in this desert dust. I have some major fix ups going on in the next couple of weeks, to include the planting of some landscape, two years after the fact, and a replacement of my back entry way to include a couple of security doors. I can't wait to start playing in the dirt as I feel better and can handle being outside a little more each time I attempt. This morning I was out and about early to spray weed killer before the winds picked up. Success ... once my dumpster is empty tomorrow, I can start again in removing some of the tumbleweeds so that the tree guy doesn't have to fight to get stuff in the ground other than the jackhammer to break up the hard clay ground we possess here in the desert southwest. It isn't easy to keep stuff alive. I can't wait to see it all in as we chose native plants and shrubs to hopefully start of privacy screen. Next season, we hope to add a little more. Home ownership sort of sucks, but in a way I find it sort of rewarding as I can do what I want with it, it's mine, and I will enjoy making it such to enjoy with my friends.

Wishing everyone a peaceful Easter!!

Peace and Light
et

Good Friday

2011-04-22T10:16:00.002-07:00

I this most spiritual season, I would like to offer Easter Greetings and Blessings to all who have been following me and my journey.

I am home from work today as I just couldn't get myself to function in a manner in which I was safe driving and being too far away from my own comfort zone. Yes, that is the happenings of this morning ... repeatedly ... takes bloat to a whole new level.

Yesterday was my first day on no prednisone and I can't tell you the uncomfortable status I was in. It started early yesterday morning on my way to work at 6:45 AM. I had sinus pressure which has continued but is slightly relieved with the Claritin D. I stopped at the car wash to hose down the vehicle after having ventured out into the dirt on Thursday to order landscaping. While I was sitting in the car wash I had all these weird sensations going on in my body, my head, forehead, base of my skull, both areas feeling as though someone was forcing an ice pick into the tissues. From the car wash I thought I would do something nice for the girls in the office and bring in donuts. So I am on my way into the store when as soon as I came through the door the place started spinning!! I was overwhelmed as I didn't seem to have a whole lot of control on my movement, I must have looked like I was smashed at 7AM!! I proceeded to stagger to the back of the store, trying very hard not to go down. I managed, after 15 minutes to get the box loaded and get out of there. 15 Minutes!! The rest of the day didn't go much better. It progressively got worse. I spent the whole day holding my head in my hand, trying to focus as a majority of my job requires reading, I wasn't doing such a good job. By lunch time, the aura around my vision was such that I could not focus on anything. Nothing was clear and it was making me sick to my stomach. In any event, it continued until at 4 PM I said ... well ... you guessed it, F'it!! and packed up to come home. At this point, I had these two big pouches under my eyes in which my coworker started calling them the quads!! They were twitching and looked like they had heart beats of their very own!! Not attractive by any means. So I managed to get home in what seemed like a longer than the normal 30 minute ride. Not being in an hour I couldn't take the pain and throbbing of my joints, the knot in my neck, my head feeling like it was about to explode, etc. All these so-called symptoms, a direct result of this flipping steroid!!

After some research into what can happen while taking and/or stopping this drug I have concluded that I will not take it again. PERIOD!! It can mess with my vision, cause gastric bleeds, not to mention the swelling and immediate weight gain that can come along as an added bonus. Ok, so it works in some aspects, but in my opinion, the side effects and/or negative effects it could cause are far worse than the problem in which one might take it. For me anyway ... I'm not willing to risk my kidney function, my vision, and/or my gut to breathe!! .... LOL ... there must be a better, less intrusive way to keep the airways open in situations such as the last one in which I was told it was allergy related asthma. Whatever, I find it hard to believe I have had allergies for years, I come to AZ where the air is suppose to be really good for people with breathing issues and find this to be BS at best.

Anyway ... my joints are tender and inflamed today. Am about to take my Claritin and a couple of Aleve, something I haven't done but once since treatment!!

My hopes are that by Monday this crap will have cleared my body in the worse case scenario and I will begin to feel better all over again. These last few weeks have really just got me frustrated in the sense that the prednisone is directly responsible for the rise in my A1c reading coming back at 8.1!! Now my reasoning is usually not quite so harsh as I know what caused it, but I can't change it even doing the best I could to keep a handle on the rising BGs. Corticosteroids make it VERY difficult to manage blood sugars, insulin resistance is a large side effect.

Anyway ... I am hopeful for just this one last day of feeling like crap ... and then will be as with the season, be reborn again as well!!

I would like to wish everyone a very peaceful and joyous Easter weekend!!

Peace and Light
et

Good Intentions ...

2011-04-21T18:10:00.001-07:00

I had every intention of making an entry tonight ...
All I can say, is I'm going to be @ 6:30pm and it has NOT been a good day from the moment my feet hit the floor this morning.

Be well and I will catch up in a day or two.

Happy Easter!!

Peace and Light
et

It's good, but it's not where I wanted to be ...

2011-04-18T18:06:00.002-07:00

Good Evening everyone!!

Well ... it seems as though the last 11 weeks since my adult stem cell treatment and I had hoped for more. I realize that I went into the procedure apparently still fighting an URI. That was the 1st negative in my favor. With that being said, my newly awakened "stemmies" had thier work cut out for them right off the bat with an issue that was not on the planned list of attack.

I have since that time, done 6 days inpatient with bilateral pneumonia, to the tune of $33K ... ridiculous at best. Then the allergy induced asthma reaction ... all this treated with large IV steroid medication, multiple high-powered antibiotics, and two long (12 days each) rounds of prednisone tapers. This last one, I stopped abruptly on Friday due to becoming violently ill Thursday night with what we thought may have been some sort of ulcerative response in my gut. Hillary thought at one point, signs of a heart attack. I knew it wasn't a heart attack, having suffered from ulcers in the past. When I was diagnosed with the gastroparesis, I was postive for the H-pylori bacteria as well. Now, with that being said, long term, high dose steroid use can cause a multitude of problems and I am not going to let that happen.

I am feeling better, breathing is much clearer, and another 2 days and I am done with this prednisone crap. It can cause, and I have felt it over the past several weeks, a lack of appetite, weight loss, a metalic taste to everything, that pain in my gut that feels like someone made me drink battery acid. None of this pleasant. On Thursday I got violently ill due to the gastric pain caused by increased acid production by the prednisone. When I stopped it abruptly for 24 hours, I began to suffer some withdrawal effects, none of these pleasant either. Today, I am done to 5 mg twice a day, tomorrow will be 5 at night for 3 nights and I am done. I am seriously going to tell the doctor should something this happen again, I want a different sort of treatment. This is crap and can do so much damage that I am not sure I want to risk this again ... I know ... breathing is an essential need, but really ... there must be other treatments available that do not do so much damage...??

Ok ... with all that being said, it has me a tad frustrated in where I was hoping to be with my stemmie treatment. I have had some wonderful results thus far, but can't help but feel I would have had better results if I had not had the URI going in. My bad, maybe I shouldn't have been so eager and waited it out for treatment, the opportunity was there, and I wasn't about to put it off. I have been weaned off my Cymbalta for chronic pain due to fibromyalgia and arthrits that set in from years of abuse, physically. I haven't taken anything other than some Tylenol since treatment to relieve any sort of pain. My digestive tract, for the most part, and in spite of the prednisone, has been one of the most remarkable positive results thus far for the diabetes. I was disappointed in my A1c being 8.1 and that is a direct result of the prednisone treatment .... it makes blood sugar control a crap shoot at best.

so ...I have been trying to get past my frustration and put into play the physiological aspects of the treatment and the results I have experienced to date. I will be planning on a second treatment but we are still months off from that so I need to be vigilant in my quest for better health. I need to be realisitc in that I have lived with diabetes for 38+ years, I can't expect it to go away with one treatment. I do, however, wonder, will it get me that much closer to a cure. I still believe this as fact, and I believe that if the US doesn't pull thier political head out of the asses of those that rule, that nothing is going to happen in a positive manner in regard to the US being any sort of super hero on any front.

I will continue to plug away for the science adn the treatments to be available here in the States ... I believe and therefore, I will do my best to educate those of may be a little closed minded in the thought process of such treatments.

On that note, I have some cleaning up to do and to get ready for another day at the office tomorrow. My stamina is coming back again, but am still listening to my body in regard to when it yells, I listen, and rest. Whatever needs to be done tonight, will still be there tomorrow if I don't get to it .... LOL ....

Lab Values

2011-04-12T23:09:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone ...

Well ... allergies continue to plague me ... hard. My head feels like a steel-toed boot has kicked me dead center in the forhead and left a big icepick behind just to remind me of the tension within. With that being said, I got a call today from the doctor's office telling me my labs came back, and that all looked great, except my
A1c which came back at 8!!!! I was a little disgusted with that even though I know it is all due to these freakin' steroids I have been on and off of since February. I am now on day 7 of a 12 day taper and still feel the pain, congestion, and cough due to these allergies. This is, without a doubt, the worst season I have ever had.

I had allergies back east, seems as though those would be so much more tolerable at the moment than this dry, and no end in sight stuff going on here in the desert. The air is so dry, everything is so dry, and yet the pollen continues to build and blow, as it is the windy spring season here in AZ.

Oh well ... hopefully, in the next week, I can get some sort of grip on this shit ... yes, I said it, as that is how I feel. I have been taking Claritin D as it is the only thing that seems to be working this year, and allowing me to continue to work without my head hitting the desk. When you spend all day in front of a computer screen, reading doctor scribbles, and reading it can make for one painful day when your head is not cooperating. So I will continue to hydrate even though nothing has any real taste to it, other than metallic, and use the inhalers, which don't always "rescue" as they state and keep on plugging on.

With that being said, and having been asleep since I got home and had some dinner at 6:40 ... I will be returning to the pillows shortly as I have to be up in 5 hours ... early mornings seem to be my best time, now if I could only get my ass outside for an hour to do some much needed yard work prior to getting to work .... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ...... right!! Maybe on the weekend ... and then inside work the remainder of the day. The head hasn't even set in yet here in AZ, I can't imagine what sort of year this is going to be. Maybe Hillary is right, it is time to start investigating a new place to call home ...??

Sleep well my faithful followers!!
Peace and Light
et

Again ... It's Monday

2011-04-11T05:33:00.002-07:00

Good Morning!!

I can't believe that it's already Monday. I still feel run down, short of breath, and not me. I am still on the prednisone taper, the inhaler, which seems to be in over-use, in my opinion, and the albuteral treatments. The cough seems to be dry, deep, and exceptionally irritating as it is really hard to get a good breath. Hillary seems to feel it sounds, as do a couple of others, that is resemblent of the pneumonia cough/breathing. I SO don't want to go there!!!

I just move slow, as you can tell by all the posts I made yesterday ...LOL ... I get perterbed easily, and do a lot of reading, napping, and not much else. I did get a couple loads of wash done, and was called out to deliver charts yesterday, that was a pretty ride, in my sweats, with angry hair and all!!! Oh well, it is what it is!!

Ok ... on that note, it is suppose to warm up here a little each day this week in AZ. After that weekend of snow, sleet, rain, and yuckiness at best, I guess it is time to plow forward. I wish everyone a wonderful week and a GREAT day!!

Thanks for continuing to follow my tangents.

Peace and Light
et

Definitions of ... Call me stupid ...

2011-04-10T15:33:00.003-07:00

Definition of REPARATIVE
1: of, relating to, or effecting repair
2: serving to make amends
First Known Use of REPARATIVE
1656
Rhymes with REPARATIVE
comparative, preparative

Regenerate - From Dictionary.Com

–verb (used with object)
1. to effect a complete moral reform in.
2. to re-create, reconstitute, or make over, especially in a better form or condition.
3. to revive or produce anew; bring into existence again.
4. Biology . to renew or restore (a lost, removed, or injured part).
5. Physics . to restore (a substance) to a favorable state or physical condition.

Medical Dictionary

re·gen·er·a·tive definition
Pronunciation: /ri-ˈjen-ə-ˌrāt-iv, -ˈjen-(ə-)rət-/
Function: adj
1 : of, relating to, or marked by regeneration
2 : tending to regenerate
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2007 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Cite This Source

It would appear that I have irritated a PhD

2011-04-10T14:40:00.002-07:00

The below post was made in response to a comment I made on LinkedIn this morning. Apparently, I done ticked this person off a bit, or so it reads to me. My response to this post is in bold below it, on my own page, as I find her statement very contradictory in nature.

Regenerative medicine speaks to the outcome of healing - that it is regenerative, not reparative. Stem cells are a tool that can be used to achieve a regenerative outcome. Not all applications using stem cells will be regenerative. Similarly, not all regenerative medical products will use stem cells. The two terms are not the same. If they are used interchangeably, the person speaking is basically not being disciplined in their use of language.

Posted by Belinda J Wagner, PhD

So, it would seem that in Dr. Wagner's interpretation I am not disciplined in my use of language.

Rather than take this argument back to the LinkedIn page, wouldn't want it to jeopardize any work/advocate related issues I may pursue. Here is my take on the above comment.

It would appear to me, in all my reading and research over the past couple of years, and going back many more, that regenerative vs. repairative are terms being used interchangably here in the Good Ol' United States to benefit those looking to make a buck rather than bringing the science to light in an open and honest forum.

Yes, I would like to address Dr. Wagner, so I will do it here and tell her that I did seek treatment with stem cells/PRP treatment for repairative reasons. I was dying, a slow death, with NO real help from the medical community here in the states. Like so many others, I went to the extreme of Medical Tourism, and sought treatment being used in other countries for years with just that in mind. I did lots of research and weeded through plenty of quacks and those looking to take advantage of those looking for a better way. The "regenerative" properties I experienced were all to well known as a benefit of such treatment, and the two terms do in fact, go hand and hand. To a "lay-person" regenerating, means repairing, to make better.
That is my story and I am sticking to it!! Perhaps I better brush up my political correctness to play well with those in the United States that feel it is ok to pull the wool over consumers eyes with thier mastery of the language. I may not be a PhD, or a doctor of medicine, or a scientist, but I am a consumer, a consumer with multiple medical issues that are potentially fatal, who has dealt with this politcal BS for most of my life and am tired of those who feel they sit so much higher then those of us who suffer and only want a better life, a quality life. As I have stated before, I will take quality over quantity anyday.

Put that in any language you like!!!
I too, want it all to be a legitimate game plan, but lets be real people, seems as those that play heavily on the "language", i.e., political types, are those with the richly lined pockets, looking out more for thier own best interests, rather than those in the need of these treatments NOW!!!

Peace and Light
et

Everyday I find more and more proof ...

2011-04-10T09:46:00.003-07:00

I hope this article will be available to all if you cut and paste the link into your browser.

This is a wonderful article, that articulates beyond my words the need for the treatment availability here and government inferrence on the part of the FDA in regard to autologous stem cell treatments being allowed here in the US.

Please read: this is how I feel as well, and I get angry knowing so MANY people right here should be allowed to receive now, rather than risk death in long clinical trials, money making schemes for the big guns, and being told something from my body, back to my body should be deemed a drug.

Hope this sheds light on my passion.

http://www.stemcellpioneers.com/showthread.php?t=4269

Peace and Light, and much healing!!
et

Informative video

2011-04-09T12:13:00.004-07:00

This is a very informative, fairly new (less than a month) video I came upon on YouTube in the clinical advances of Stem Cell therapy. This doctor from Texas, practicing in Panama with the Stem Cell Institute (not the same Institite I dealt with) is full of really great information.

Check it out ... Knowledge is power!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ_lw8TcON4&playnext=1&list=PL816533F2C2CA935F

Peace and Light
et

Getting better .... a little at a time

2011-04-09T08:07:00.002-07:00

Happy Saturday !!

Well, I woke up this morning to 4-5 inches of snow on the ground!! It seems to make a slight difference in my ability to breathe this morning, although there is still a lot of wheezing going on. Treatments continue every 6-8 hours, the inhaler on a as need basis, less each day, and the steroid taper is going WAY better than I anticipated. I chock that up to the stabilized blood sugars. I can't believe, although not at a point I had hoped, it is going so well.

I was speaking with Rita Alexander, President of the ISCI, on Thursday and we were discussing how it takes so many years for our bodies to "deteriorate" in the disease process that it can't be expected to disolve overnight. I can't agree enough. I knew going into my treatment that it was not a cure, not yet, but still believe, more now than ever, that it is the direction we need to be going in, in spite of hurdles that the US government and it's overseeing agencies want to hold it up. I was called a "walking billboard!" I think that is one of the best compliments I have had in regard to the knowledge and insight I am bringing on this subject. I have never felt so good about something, and wanting to share it with those I love, as well as people who are, where I have been, where I can still be if I chose to allow my mind to go there. I have bad days, but I have to tell you, they have been so FEW since my treatment. I have an issue currently with the breathing, but ... overall, I can't begin to tell you all the effects I have seen since treatment, and SO many that were unexpected. Who in their right mind, would knock that sort of side effect??

Hillary did what was suppose to be a 5 minute verbal presentation yesterday in her clinical class about the stem cell process, and it apparently turned into a 45 minute, in depth discussion about the whys, hows, why nots?? She was so thrilled, especially seeing she doesn't really like speaking in front of people. She said there were lots of great questions, and stated to me last night, she knows a lot about the process having gone through it all with me, but was not as knowledgeable as she has hoped to be and requested some of my articles to pass out to people who wanted more information on the treatment. It was discussed that in the next 4-6 months that the ISCI will try and come here to the Prescott area and do a seminar, and I have been asked to take part in this process. I am totally thrilled about this opportunity to get the word out there. As stated in past posts, I have a few doctors here in the area that have been following my status, doctors that I do not see professionally, they do not treat me in any way, but are forward thinkers and fed up with the restrictions being placed on the US health care system. It is crap, and we deserve better than just being long-term guinea pigs for our FDA and NIH. There are cures out there, and closer than we think if we are just allowed to get to them.

In any event, Hillary stated that at least 8 people from her class, the 2 instructors, one of which I met while in the hospital with pneumonia, are all interested in attending and bringing family members!! Family members who are suffering with afflictions like MS, Alzhiemer's, Rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, and that over all biggie for those who just want to "stay on top" of thier health. This is the way to go, and I can't help but feel that all worked out for me the way the Gods intended. I was rejected from the Islet Transplant for a reason, and this, for me, was the better choice. I have no adverse effects from antirejection drugs, which are not only very expensive, but have major side effects. How can I reject what is already mine, only awaken to help me regenerate and repair. I am still working through the "sludge" I created over the past 38 years of living with disease and dealing with "regular" life, I am making a come back. It is sort of like healing in reverse. I was diagnosed with the disease in 1972, a lot has happened since then, and it seems in my writings that things are healing in reverse as to how they came about. My feet have feeling in them again, my brain and vision fog are clear and sharp (Hillary's biggest thrill), my skin, which was a total surprise, is glowing again, first time in a long time as my face was showing the stress of not only disease, but caring for others and all the loss suffered in recent years. My digestive issues, are beyond description, I had not noted this issue on my paperwork, with the hypoglycemic unawareness being my biggest issue to be addressed. This advance in repair has made my blood sugars easier to manage, bringing the stability back into play. I am also down 2 pant sizes ... which to me, gives a whole new meaning to that phrase, "full of shit!" ...LOL .... things are moving like they haven't moved in almost 20 years!! That alone, is amazing results!!! Nerves that have been damaged, are working again, and it can only get better. I do hope to undergo the treatment again, in perhaps a year, as we are taking in labs, physical changes, and getting some statistical information together for documentation purposes. This is all great news, the more we can collect, the more info we can get out.

I can't stress this enough, everyone is different, everyone will respond slightly differently. But .... how can we close the door on this when SO many people have shown such positive results?? Imagine living with such a life altering disease that your whole life is turned upside down. If you have never experienced this sort of altering change, or what the adjustments can do to not only our bodies, but our minds .... then you need to open up your minds and expand to a better tomorrow!!! It can happen, maybe you won't be 15 again, but you will feel better!! I would like to bet my own life on it!!!

With that being said, I am going to try and breathe my way through some indoor work today and grout my windowsills .... LOL .... spring is here,snow or not and I will look at each new day as a new beginning, a gift, given to me by friends who love and have supported me in this long journey to a recovery of new health and appreciation.

Have a wonderful day!!
In Peace and Light
et

Look what I found today ...

2011-04-06T18:28:00.002-07:00

Good Evening ...

Well ... went to the dentist first this morning, all looks good, except the cost of the cap. Then I had to go to the doctor due to this allergie blowup. She told me she saw on the news that Prescott has the highest pollen level in the country currently. GREAT .... and a few breaths from me on a walk up the street sucks my lungs to a standstill. So ... another round of steroids, an inhaler and a nebulizer treatment twice a day ... "aggressive" is what she tells me. Really??? I was fine just two days ago ... this just blows!!! I have a ton of yard work to get done to make way for my new trees, which we hope to have planted in the next couple of weeks.

Anyway ... while sitting in the waiting room today, I look down into the magazine basket and right on top I see the following magazine. I would not normally have picked up this mag except the largest headline was "STEM CELLS" .... so I just have to share this article.

http://www.newyoumag.com/magazine/spring-2011/the-stem-cell-revolution/

(Cut and paste the above link to get to the article)

In actuality, this is the treatment I had done, via the IV feedback, and yet if you are into cosmetic line of medicine we can get what we need, on the DL as my daughter calls it. There is also an interesting paragraph on the FDA standing on this practice, and what they will call a "drug." Again, as I stated right after my treatment, if you pulled this stuff out of my body and only used a high-powered light activator, it IS NOT a drug. They are mine, and I want them back, in large quantities ... LOL .... I certainly have enough fat cells to spare, and all the added benefits I have recieved since my treatment for the disease process, was totally worth it, my skin is so much younger looking, tighter, smoother, much more radiant as I was told this morning ... this is not just great stuff, it is the promise to many people that the US government is holding back on so they can figure out a way to make the all mighty buck off the people again!!! This needs to stop ...

Anyway ... it is a great article with the basic information and the benefits that were had by these patients, and the doctors who were discovering the benefits, years ago.

Enjoy ...

Peace and Light
et

Allergies .... Asthma ....??

2011-04-06T05:51:00.002-07:00

Morning All!!

It's hump day ... yippie ... it's half over.
I am, again, wheezing like no tomorrow. To the point a coworker made mention yesterday afternoon that I was breathing like I did when I had pneumonia. I saw deep concern on her face. I did walk up the street yesterday to another building, walking right into a big Juniper bush, I hate these things!! I think this is what has made what was seasonal allergies a whole lot worse. In any event, pollen and blowing has been pretty bad the last week or so and I have been taking my Claritin D and pushing the water, but ... I apparently am losing!! I will be seeing the doctor again today because I was not discharged with any sort of inhaler. Lucky for me I found one floating around in the bathroom last night and hit it and went to bed, having to hit it again during the night. It is just horrible ... post nasal drip, stuffy head, swollen water eyes.... I had allergies back east, and when I moved here I thought WOW ... for two years I was great, then BANG!! I get like this. A couple of doctors say I have asthma, that sort of pisses me as I didn't have asthma when I moved here and this was suppose to be a great place to come live if you had asthma. What I don't get... ??? ... is that everywhere you go around here there seems to be people on O2 ... LMAO ... I thought is was mostly old people, then the more you look around, seems as though a lot of the kids, mine included, suffer from asthma. HT having exercise induced asthma ... I think it is in large part to all the flipping dust that blows around, no moisture, .... yes, you could be right, I could just be in denial ... LOL ... Fact is, I have a crap-ton of yard work to be done and if I can't breathe in the house, I can't breathe outside even worse. Oh well ... this too, will be dealt with.

On the stemmie side ... things continue to be stable. Blood sugars seem to be stable, although I have seen little more in the decrease of insulin intake. I am, however, thrilled at the gastrointestinal improvement that has been seen. I had a dream that my body was healing in reverse ... LOL .... that all the things that have declined since being diagnosed as a child, will improve in the order in which I was inflicted .... I am and was pretty positive prior to treatment, that more than one would be needed. I am curious as to how long I should, or have to wait before I attempt the second treatment??? I am in the thought that at least a year will be the time period. I am going to have the labs drawn today (I hope) and can see what sort of changes have taken place. My bets ... LOL ... based on certain things I have experienced, is that my thyroid has been affected, am curious about other lab values, but am pretty sure there has been positive changes.

In spite of the allergy/asthma hitch, I am still feeling pretty good. Bones, joints, muscles and range of motion have all been positive improvements that I didn't expect to experience. The all-over body pain I have suffered since the mid-90s has all greatly disipated ... it is amazing!! and very much a welcome change.

I guess I should get myself motivated as I have a dental and doctor appointment this morning, and then off to the office. Needing to pace myself due to lack of breathing capacity I should get it moving.

I wish everyone a wonderful day, full of hope and enlightenment.

Peace and Light
et

New Website Launch

2011-04-03T18:57:00.002-07:00

Check out the new website launched this past week by the International Stem Cell Institute .... VERY COOL, and very informative, with much more to come :D

Cut and Paste the following link into your browser:

www.StemGenex.com

Enjoy!!